Random Drama Pahkitew Island
by TotalDramaFan14
Summary: [SIXTH IN RANDOMVERSE SERIES] After sinking Wawanakwa, Chris finds a new island and fourteen all-new campers to compete for the million dollar prize. But these may not be the campers you remember, like all those before they have been... randomized...
1. So, Uh Is This My Team?

**Author's Note:** Welcome everyone to the Sixth season of the Randomverse series. Once again I'm introducing a brand new cast. As such, reading the previous seasons are not required.

Anyway, the rules haven't changed: A while back I took the 51 contestants from Total Drama, and the 16 from my fic Danger Island, and sent them through a randomizer. The first twenty-two debuted in Random Drama Island, with two more coming in Random Drama World Tour, and the next thirteen showing up for Random Drama Revenge of the Island. Now we're at the next batch of fourteen, and the final sixteen will appear in Random Drama Danger Island.

This cast is the one I've been the most excited to write. You'll see why soon.

There will be at least one pairing this season. I have two others planned, but if reception isn't kind to them I'll drop them.

Oh and I've decided to release Ridonculous Race simultaneously with Danger Island. The update schedule for those will be revealed when I get there though.

* * *

 **Episode 01: So, Uh This Is My Team?**

A short drumroll led into a deep and grandiose anthem as the scene opened on a broken and grassy slope. "Welcome, Total Drama fans!" began Chris McLean, the handsome and stubble-chinned host standing up in front of the camera close enough to only show his upper body. "Put on some clean undies~," he said with a mischievous, almost singsong tone, "cause things are about to get wild! Ye-he-he-heah-hah!" he laughed deviously.

"Fourteen spanking _fresh_ contestants, and a _totally_ brand new location!" The familiar ticks of the series' capstone theme entered the background score as the camera began to rapidly zoom out. "A Cree island in western Canada!" The new island was shown in full: almost bowl-shaped, with several large, pine-covered hills curving up and outward to from high cliffs along most of the visible coastline, and a barren natural arch sticking out from the left side of the island. Only a small strip of beach was visible to the camera nestled between the rock formations jutting out along the coast, smaller along the shore but large enough further out to support grass or even trees. The sun was beating down from high above, and only a handful of clouds dotted the sky.

"As you might recall," Chris said as a bout of static transitioned the footage to a grainy film of Wawanakwa's final sink into the lake surrounding it, "during our Heroes vs Villains finale—" the clip was paused during the last mighty backsplash— " _someone_ , and I prefer to remain nameless," the host stood up smugly in front of the paused scene to motion to himself before ducking back down, "accidentally destroyed our old island."

Another bout of static transitioned the scene to Chris walking to the left past a mossy, mushroom-ridden tree and a bed of blue flowers into a more open area. "So, _this_ is where we landed. No shacks," he said, the capstone theme beginning in earnest as the shot cut to what appeared to be some flattened hilltop. To the right was the path leading in, a solitary wooden gateway standing over it flanked by a pair of tiki torches. Just past the gate was a familiar oil drum podium, and past that an unlit firepit. Further back were a variety of stones, stumps, and logs arranged into two rows of seats, and along the back edge of the hilltop were three tall posts with bulbous lights stringed between them. A grassy pathway lined with tiki torches began in the front of the area, and curved down and around to the left along the hillside.

"No showers," the host continued over a shot of a roaring waterfall somewhere next to a wooded hill. "No hotels," he added as the camera moved to a cave in the side of some rocky cliff near a few small ponds in the woods. " _No hot tub_ ," he finished over a a shot of another pool of water, this one set in a barren area with only a few scattered shrubs growing out of the rock. "The only things we managed to save," Chris said as the camera returned to him, "were the outhouse confessional," the shot cut to the outhouse, now set up at the edge of a clearing next to a rock and some trees, "and the horrific butt smells that live inside it." The outhouse door slammed open, revealing the chubby east Asian male intern holding a plunger inside it. He gasped for air, the collapsed face first onto the ground.

"It'll be the roughingest roughing it that's ever been roughed on Total Drama," Chris said as the focus cut back to him once more. "So, buckle up. _This_ ," the camera cut backward to show more of the clearing, "is Total! Drama!" Another jump back showed the small rocky beach. " _Paaaaahkitew Island_!" The final jump outward showed Pahkitew Island once more in all its glory.

 **XXXXX**

(Opening Theme)

 **XXXXX**

The sound of engines filled the air as the episode opened on a small zeppelin emerging from the clouds. An image of Chris in full aviator gear was plastered to the tail fin, and the scene soon cut inside to show a swaying conical lamp hanging in front of a grubby wall.

A pan down and slightly to the left showed two girls sitting on stools under a small window. The one on the right was of average height and noticeably curvaceous, a tanned skinned girl of Asian descent. Her silky black hair was straight and fell to just below her shoulders, and her eyes were almond shaped. She wore a plain loose-fitting dull yellow t-shirt and dark khaki cargo shorts, and she mumbled to herself as she rumbled around in a turquoise backpack in front of her.

The girl on the left was very pale and petite with light blonde hair that was waist length. She was staring almost warily at the swaying light above them, dressed in a dark green sweater over a light blue collared shirt. She also wore a grey skirt and indigo tights.

She glanced at the girl to her left, then turned the other way. "Your aura is the most _exceptional_ shade of purplish green," she said in a light and whimsical voice to the boy on her right.

He was a rather large boy, both in height and in weight. The black teen had pierced ears and wore a long grey trench coat over a rust colored hoodie and blue shorts, complemented by a backwards baseball cap that matched his hoodie. He raised an eyebrow and gave her an odd look.

"Don't worry," the petite girl said. "It suits you."

The large boy smiled, and held out his fist. With a light airy tune, the petite girl bumped fists with him and smiled.

The shot cut to a more normal-looking Indian boy, brown-skinned and black-haired. He wore a cyan vest over a pale yellow collared shirt, and laughed awkwardly. "That girl's a little _weird_ ," he said in a somewhat high and definitely nervous voice.

A dramatic stringed theme started playing as another boy walked over to him, white-skinned and blue-eyed. He sported shaggy and unkempt long brown hair. Both his t-shirt and his pants were not only noticeably tight, but an almost blinding white that contrasted heavily with his red sneakers and the red bandanna tied around his neck. "Aura reading?" he said in a haughty tone. "He's inclined to agree with you."

"Who's he?" the first boy asked in confusion.

"Him," the other boy said irritably while pointing at himself. "Don't be rude."

"Uh, sorry?" the first boy said, warily looking away from the boy in white.

The camera pulled back as another girl walked past, her skin dark but more the brownish-orange color of a fake tan than anything natural. She sported large hoop earrings, bright blue eye liner, and thick magenta lipstick the same color as her midriff-baring tube top. Light teal capris and purple wedge sandals rounded out her outfit, but more noticeable was the can of hairspray she was busily applying to the pouf of her long brown hair. She left a thick cloud of spray in her wake, which sent both boys into coughing fits as she passed them by.

"Excuse me, could you do that somewhere else?" the Indian boy asked, the boy in white simply glaring at the girl as she walked on obliviously. "Thank you!" he added despite her lack of reaction, the camera pulling back to show three more people that the hairspray girl was walking past.

First was another white boy, dressed in the olive green, cargo shorts, and combat boots of a soldier out of uniform. He was doing push-ups in the middles of the floor, his dog tags dangling around his neck and his unibrow furrowed in concentration. "Ninety-nine...one hundred!" he said in a tough, almost commanding voice as a military drumline played. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he sat up onto his knees, but in doing so put himself directly into a lingering cloud of hairspray. He gagged, choked, and collapsed with a thud onto his face with his butt sticking up in the air.

The cloud of hairspray dissipated as the camera zoomed in on the two girls who had been watching the soldier from another pair of stools along the wall. The one on the left was skinny and dark-skinned and appeared to be of Hispanic descent while the one on the right was larger and fair. The girls were dressed identically, in hot pink short-shorts and wedge sandals and lipstick, black-and-white striped shoulderless midriff-baring blouses, and dark hair in pigtails.

"Oh my gosh, is he okay?" the skinny one asked, clutching hands with the larger one. Both girls were looking towards the fallen soldier with concern.

"I hope so," the larger one said, her voice lighter. "That was so unfair what happened to him."

"But it was also kinda funny right?" the skinny one asked in a low whisper, the camera cutting closer to the two girls' faces.

"Oh my gosh," the larger one replied with a shake of her head. "You are _so_ bad." Both girls launched into a flurry of giggling that was only stopped when a hiss, followed by another cloud of hairspray, came from off-screen.

"Umm, could you, like, _stop_ that?" the skinny one asked, both girls glaring indignantly to the left as the camera panned over to show the hairspray girl once again spraying her hair.

"Huh?" she said, finishing up and stowing the aerosol can inside her hair. "What, can't a girl do a little touch-up?" she asked in a thick Jersey accent, looking over the identically-dressed girls. "Though the two of you would need _way_ more than that..."

Before the other girls could reply, however, all three were distracted by a short, skinny black boy walking past them with a huge smile on his face. He had short hair and large glasses, and wore a red hoodie and dark yellow shorts. "Wow! A real zeppelin," he said in wondrous amazement, the footage skipping ahead to him running up to what looked like the far right corner of the room. "Did you know they were named for the German Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin who-"

He was interrupted by a girl falling from above and landing on her feet in front of him, visibly shocking him. From the wide grin she was sporting to the bright green eyes to the fiery red hair, everything about her radiated energy; she was wearing a sleeveless and high-necked top with a window in front, and very short pair of shorts hidden by a lighter green sarong. "That was awesome," the redhead said a hectic tune playing in the background as she spoke rapidly. "I even stuck the landing this time!"

"Hi, you must be some of the other contestants" came the diplomatic voice of another girl, the camera panning slightly to the left to show a brown skinned girl who looked to be a mix of Asian and Hispanic approaching. She was dressed in a rather preppy fashion, a dark gray top over an off-white polo shirt paired with green capri pants. "It's really nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," the short black boy said, the redheaded girl just stared at something off screen and looking somewhat stupefied.

The preppy girl noticed the staring. "What are you star...ing... at...?" She said as she turned to face the thing in question only to look just as stupefied as the other girl much to the short boy's confusion, the camera panning to the left away from the three teens and on to two more boys.

The one on the right was a thin and somewhat muscular white boy with blonde hair and a cowboy hat, wearing an unbuttoned pink shirt and blue jean shorts. The one on the left was an absurdly handsome brown-skinned young Hawaiian boy with well-coiffed brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a chiseled physique hidden underneath a tight, dark-colored t-shirt and baggy jeans. The white boy was looking at the girls, while the the Hawaiian boy just leaned against the wall.

"I think those girls are starin' at you dude," cowboy hat said, turning to face the other boy.

"I know," the Hawaiian boy said smoothly. "You get used to it."

" _Nice_ ," cowboy hat said, bumping fists with his companion.

The music suddenly turned dramatic, and lightning flashed outside earning a gasp from both boys. The scene moved back outside to show the zeppelin heading into some storm clouds, lightning flashing a few more times before the shot cut to the bridge. Chef Hatchet was there manning the wheel in his old pilot's uniform from season three, a nervous expression on his face. He grabbed the transmitter of the broadcasting system mounted over his head, and the shot cut to a loudspeaker as a red light next to it began to flash and buzz. "Hang on!" Chef announced. "This might get hairy!"

The ship began to shake, screws and panels and other parts raining down from the ceiling as the background music became ominous. The petite girl was shown looking oddly calm as the larger black boy nervously glanced around; the cut next to the soldier, boy in white, and normal-looking boy standing and looking around nervously; then the Hawaiian boy watching cowboy hat struggle to stay seated as the zeppelin shook; the short black boy screaming "This seems abnormal!" as the preppy girl and the redheaded girl looked around in panic; and the two identically-dressed girls clinging to each other as they shrieked in fear, the hairspray girl futilely raising her hands to shield her hair from the bits of metal that were bouncing off it with almost comical dings.

Lightning seemed to flash inside the room itself, and Chris McLean appeared to the left near the door to the cockpit as if out of thin air. "Hello, _newbies_ ," he greeted to a dramatic sting in the music. "Ready for some _fun_?"

The two identically-dressed girls darted over to him excitedly. "Ooh, yes!" the skinny one said.

"Totally!" The larger one added, and the two began a high-pitched squeal that took the host off-guard.

"Huh, a coupla keeners," he said, putting his fingers in his ears until they stopped. "I'm sure a little pain and starvation will fix that," he added as he walked off to the right.

He stopped by a doorway located between the large black boy and the normal-looking boy. "Let's get started," he said, the launching into a low theme of exposition. "This aircraft stinks. And is equipped with _two_ emergency exits," he raised a finger on each hand, "here, and at the end of the cabin." He pointed first at the door behind him, and then towards the right. The camera quick-panned over to show the preppy girl and redheaded girl still standing idly by the other door.

"At said exits," Chris continued as the shot returned to him, "you will find parachute packs," he knocked on the crate the normal-looking boy had been sitting on. "Only half of them contain _actual_ parachutes. The other half contain surprises," the music rose up ominously, "that will be utterly useless while falling from the sky."

"Well," the normal boy spoke up, "hopefully we won't need them."

Chris shrugged. "Who knows. This season is full of surprises. Like _this_!" With a wide smile he took out his remote control and pressed the button, and the camera cut to one of the engines outside as a small box attached to it blinked and beeped and exploded, destroying the engine.

Screams uttered forth from the zeppelin as it was shown going into a nose dive with smoke trailing from the blown engine, and the shot cut back inside to show the campers running and screaming around the cabin as tense challenge music began to play. A close-up showed one of the crates being opened by what looked like cowboy hat, who along with the Asian girl grabbed a parachute pack out of it. Moments later, the large black boy boy, the Hawaiian boy, and the larger half of the identically-dressed girls followed suit. Then the Asian girl was shown calmly slipping on her pack while holding her backpack in her arm, the large black boy doing the same, then the Hawaiian boy, thin half of the identically-dressed girls, and the boy in white all put theirs on as well.

The shot cut to the rear exit as the Asian girl said "Time to jump!" and with the large black boy jumped out the open door. The normal-looking boy followed after, then the shot cut to the side exit as the petite girl ran walked along the stools before diving out the other open door.

The soldier, a pack on his back and an extra in his hands, ran up to where Chris was still standing by the side exit. "While I do not agree with your methods," he scolded the host, "I cannot leave a man behind in a crashing airship. Your parachute, sir," he said, holding the extra pack out to the smiling host.

"Oh, no thank you," Chris replied with a light wave of dismissal, "I'm actually a hologram."

"What?!" Chef exclaimed in shock as he ran over from the left. "Why ain't _I_ a hologram?" He poked a finger at Chris, then gasped as it went through his head causing the man's entire body to flicker like a grainy television image. "Abandon ship!" he yelled, gripping the sides of his head in panic. He ran straight through the host and grabbed the extra parachute pack from the soldier, then fell backward out the emergency exit. The soldier fired off a sharp salute to Chris before diving out as well.

The camera cut far below the diving zeppelin, looking up as several contestants fell screaming past – the hairspray girl, the preppy girl, the boy in white, cowboy hat, the Hawaiian boy, the two identically-dressed girls, the soldier, and even Chef.

Then the shot shifted, the camera now falling alongside the Asian girl. "This reminds me of my seventh birthday," she said to herself as the two identically-dressed girls fell into view behind her clinging fearfully to each other. The Asian girl pulled the cord on her pack, and released a large collection of nuts and bolts. She gulped, the quickly tore into her backpack and pulled out a large white sheet, creating a makeshift parachute that quickly slowed her down out of the range of the camera. It quickly refocused on the two girls clinging to one another.

"Okay," the skinny one said, both girls' eyes clenched shut as they grabbed the cords on their packs, "three!"

"Two!" the larger one replied.

"One!" the skinny one said in rising panic.

"PULL!" they yelled together, pulling their cords. Both girls deployed parachutes.

"We get to live!" the larger one said in delight before both held each other and squealed.

A quick-pan up put the focus on the large black boy, silent as he pulled his cord and released a stack of papers. The moment he realized this, he looked around in shock and concern.

It was then that the nuts and bolts floated up to him, and he quickly grabbed some in each hand as they passed by. He put both hands behind his back in a flurry of motion, then safely floated down in what looked like a hastily built jetpack.

The shot cut to the petite girl next, who opened her parachute and freed a pair of screeching cats. "The tea leaves didn't say anything about _this_!" she cried with wide, frightful eyes before the camera panned left onto the preppy girl.

"This is insane! We could seriously die doing this!" she said before pulling her cord, revealing releasing a bunch of hotdogs. "You can't do this to us!" she complained as the normal-looking boy fell past screaming with a piece of paper stuck to his face.

"It says here he can," he said. With a groan he pulled his cord, only for a flurry of feathers to fly out and up. "Yyyup. Feathers. I get it. Funny," he said resignedly.

He fell out of sight, and the camera moved onto the hairspray girl as she pulled her cord to reveal a parachute. "Hah!" she barked out joyfully, shaking a fist upwards and yelling "Oh yeah, take that ya lousy mook!"

The shot moved to cowboy boy next, who pulled his cord only for a teddy bear wearing a smaller, teddy bear-sized parachute to float out. He looked up, then screamed at the top of his lungs while flailing his arms and legs.

A pan to his right showed Chef, who pulled his cord only to release several steaks, cheese wedges, and chef's hats. "Oh, that's just wrong," he said with narrow-eyed annoyance.

The shot cut to the redheaded girl next, who excitedly exclaimed "Alright!" upon opening the parachute in her pack.

Then came a cut to the boy in white, who nervously pulled on her cord only to watch in shock as his pack opened to release a small flock of doves who promptly flew off. "How could he not see it?" he said in a self-deprecating manner. "It's a metaphor for the futility of competition!"

Next was the Hawaiian boy, who pulled her cord and released a parachute. "Hah! Yes! I knew I was too beautiful to die," he said in utter relief.

The camera then panned to the soldier, who took a deep breath and grabbed his cord. "Alright cadet, remember your training," he told himself. He took another breath, pulled, and smiled as he deployed his parachute. "Hoo-ah!"

The camera cut to cowboy hat as he fell past a parachute that was quickly revealed to be attached to the skinny identical girl, who reached out and grabbed him by the leg. "Thanks dude!" cowboy hat said graciously.

The skinny girl glared to the right. "Don't just sit there. Save someone!" The camera panned to the right reveal the larger girl as the normal-looking boy fell crying down to their level, and she quickly grabbed him by the pack.

"Wh-what? I'm saved!" the boy said, opening his eyes and looking around with joy.

The eyes of all four teens widened in shock as the preppy girl, the boy in white, and Chef all fell past the front of them.

"And _here_ they come now," Chris told the camera as it cut to him and he lowered the binoculars he was holding. The shot cut outward to show him standing on the beach, watching as the preppy girl, the boy in white, and Chef all fell screaming into various parts of the water around that part of the beach. He turned to the other side and the camera panned to follow, showing the identically dressed girls, cowboy hat, and the normal looking boy landing on the sand nearby.

Next to land was the shorter black boy, who smiled in delight as he touched down next to a large rock. "Sweet Marie Curie," he said as a triumphant tune played, wiping his forehead and laughing, "I'm alive!"

It was then that the hairspray girl slammed into him, knocking him to the ground face-first. "Whoops, sorry Shortstuff," she apologized, taking out the can out of her pouf and giving her hair a quick spray. "I just didn't wanna risk landing somewhere hard, I mean look at me," she said, making a sweeping motion from her hair to her hips.

"Is this what pain tastes like?" the shorter black boy asked, his voice muffled by the sand.

The tense challenge tune resumed as the shot cut to the Asian girl floating to the ground with her makeshift parachute. The shot cut to her landing on the sand, and she quickly rifled through her backpack as if to check if everything was there.

The camera panned back to the beach as the Hawaiian boy and redheaded girl landed next to each other and the soldier landed next to them.

And lastly was the larger black boy without a parachute, who landed in front of the others on the beach via his hastily built jetpack the shock of all in sight. He smiled confidently as he stood up next to a gaping Chris, then let his invention drop to the ground and shatter.

The host turned to the left as Chef walked up to him, with cuts on his neck and a chunk of his left cuff missing. "You could've at least given _me_ one of the parachutes," he angrily told Chris.

"That's odd," the host said in genuine confusion. "It _was_ supposed to be a real parachute. I even told the interns it was for me to make sure," as he spoke, his assistant's eyes widened.

"You know what?" he said, his anger dissipating. "Don't worry about it."

"You sure?" Chris asked.

"Yeah," Chef said.

"Okay then. Now let's see...," the host said, turning back to the right and rubbing his stubble. He started mumbling numbers under his breath, pointing around the beach and then to a clipboard in his hand. "Huh," he said, "only one missing. Not so bad!"

"No," the petite girl's voice suddenly said, audibly shocking the two men. "We're all here." The camera pulled back to show her standing directly in front of Chris and peering at him.

"Riiiight," he said in creeped out acceptance. " _You_."

\

The scene flashed to the blazing sun, Chris saying "Welcome to Pahkitew Island!" as the camera panned back down to the beach. The cast was now lined up, the campers divided into two groups with Chris and Chef standing in the middle. "On the right, everyone who had _actual_ parachutes," the host continued, motioning to the line of teens to the camera's right.

At the far right was the hairspray girl, the Hawaiian boy right next to her. "Anne Maria, Justin," the host listed off, each smiling as their name was called. "Izzy, Brick," he continued as the camera panned left and up onto the redhead girl and the soldier, "Cameron," the shot panned back down as it headed leftward onto the shorter black boy, "Katie and Sadie." Last in line were the identically dressed girls, the skinny one standing next to Cameron.

"Oh my gosh Sadie," Katie spoke up, "can you believe we're actually on Total Drama?"

The Codependent smiled at The Hot-Blooded. "I know. I love love _love_ this show!"

"I do my best," Chris said with a smug grin.

The two girls grimaced in a way that implied he wasn't the reason they loved the show, then grabbed each others' hands and squeed.

XXX

"I only auditioned for the show because Sadie wanted to," Katie admitted. "But now that I'm here, I feel _really_ good about our chances. Plus, aren't the guys here like _super_ cute?"

XXX

"Your team will be," Chris read from a note card, "the...Pimâpotew Kinosewak," he pronounced awkwardly. "Which is Cree for 'Soaring Eagles'!" As he announced the name's meaning, a circular logo spun towards the screen against an orange and gold starburst pattern, stopping with a light gong. The disc was colored a light purple and bore the image of a bald eagle with its wings outstretched.

"No, no it's not," the Asian girl interrupted, prompting the camera to cut to her on the other side of the host. "That actually means 'Floating Salmon'."

"Oh...," Chris said, looking back at his notes. He laughed. "Then I guess you're the Floating Salmon," he told the first team, a dull and disappointed tune playing as the shot returned to their initial logo, which was slammed out of the way by a similar disc. This was one colored green, and bore the image of a flopping salmon that was looking right at the camera.

"Those without chutes," the host continued, looking at his card again as he addressed the second team. "Geoff, Jaxon," he said as the shot cut to cowboy hat and the boy in white. Next to them was the preppy girl, and the camera panned rightward to focus on her as well as the normal-looking boy. "Courtney, Dave," the host called off, both perking up at the sound of their names then glancing at one another. "Dawn, Britney," the camera panned next to the petite girl and the Asian girl both of whom smiled. "And B," he finished, the camera moving to the larger black boy on the end of the line.

"Your team is, the Waneyihtam Maskwak!" the shot cut outward as he fumbled the pronunciation of the second team's name. "Which in Cree means the 'Ferocious Ti'-"

"'Confused Bears'," Britney corrected again.

Another circular logo spun towards the screen against the same orange and gold backdrop. It was colored a pale pink, and the picture on the front was of a rather appropriately confused bear, complete with a question mark by its head.

Chris tore apart his note card with an angry glare. "This is what you get for using a free online translator," he scolded Chef.

"My bad," the hulking man sniffed uncaringly before walking away.

"Anywho," Chris continued with his usual fake smile, "seeing as there's _no_ where for _any_ of you to sleep tonight, we figured your first challenge should be...to build your own shelter!"

As he walked away the camera panned over to the Bears, focusing in on Britney and Dawn in particular. "So this is like a survival season?" Britney asked.

The Moonchild looked at her. "Don't worry, your survivalist background will be a great asset to our team. And you'll make plenty of friends too."

"Thanks!" The Globetrotter said with a bright smile before frowning. "Wait. How did you know that?"

"It's all over your aura," Dawn said. "Right in between your need to be prepared for anything and your desire to be seen as-"

A sharp whistle from off-screen cut her off. "Hey! Aura Whisperer!" Chris called out irritably, the camera quick-panning up and to the right to show the host standing high atop a large mountain of assorted trash and rubble. "Yeah! I was _talking_!" A light drumroll shifted the music into a typical expository theme as the camera zoomed out, revealing the full size of the junk pile as the fourteen campers walked over to it.

"Each team may take supplies from the common area before they begin to build," Chris continued. Shifting back into his usual demeanor and motioning to the rubble below his feet. "But, these supplies are guarded by Chef." The shot cut to a close-up of the large man's smirking face. "Armed, with a powerful tennis ball blaster." Zooming out, the camera revealed the large tripod-mounted Gatling gun that Chef was standing at, a glass tank filled with tennis balls at the top of it. The entire set up was located at the top of a short rocky plateau.

The host jumped to the ground, landing next to Cameron, Katie, and Sadie of the Salmons. "A glancing blow will sting," he said before the shot cut to Dave getting hit in the forehead with a tennis ball.

"Oww!" The Germaphobe yelped, bending over and rubbing his forehead in pain. The camera panned to the right to show Britney gasping in concern, and Dave straightened up and looked away defiantly. "That...only hurt a little," he said.

Courtney, standing between Dave and Britney, rolled her eyes.

"And a direct hit," Chris continued, "can take you right to the ground." The camera panned to the left as Cameron was shot in the hip, knocking him to the ground as Brick gasped. The Wide-Eyed Bubble Boy landed awkwardly on his side, and moaned in pain. "Will someone please help that little boy to his feet?" Chris asked, a dramatic riff playing as the camera panned to the left and Brick picked Cameron back up with one hand.

Cameron fell back to the ground as soon as The Cadet let go, groaning upon landing.

"Good enough," Chris said with an uncaring shrug. "On with the challenge!" The shot cut back a ways to show both teams watching him warily, their team logos briefly appearing above them. "Team Maskwak will build their shelter towards the beach," the host said, directing the campers' attention to the right. "Team Kinosewak, further inland," he added with a gesture to the left. "Best shelter, according to _me_ ," he added, motioning to himself in close-up, "wins the challenge." He took out his signature red airhorn and blew it. "Be-gin!"

A fast-paced challenge tune immediately began to play as Chef opened fire, his stream of tennis balls sweeping first towards the Bears. The seven of them screamed, but Courtney quickly took action. "Bears, follow me!" The Control Freak said as she charged off to the left, motioning for her teammates to follow.

"Run for your lives dudes!" Geoff added, waving each of his teammates past under hail of tennis balls. Once they'd all passed, The Party Dude ran after them with his arms shielding his head.

"Salmon Company, with me!" Brick commanded as the shot cut to him leading the Salmons to the right, picking Cameron up off the ground as he ran.

\

The music cut out as the footage skipped to the Salmons rising up from behind two large stumps at the edge of the woods.

"Okay platoon-" Brick began to say.

"I have an idea-" Izzy began to say.

Both behind the leftmost stump with Cameron, the two looked at one another.

"We should grab-" Brick continued.

"First we need-" Izzy continued.

A few hollow, wooden beats played and the camera zoomed in on the pair of them.

"If you would just listen to me," Brick suggested.

"Hey! I was talking!" Izzy complained.

XXX

"I don't know," Brick shrugged. "I figured being the only one here with military experience, I'd be the one in command. But I don't mind sharing the role with Izzy."

XXX

"Okay I should like _totally_ be in charge," Izzy confessed. "I mean, my IQ is 188! That makes me like the smartest person here right?" The Wildcard started to laugh, "There's just like no way I shouldn't."

XXX

The static took the scene back to the Salmons. "The first thing we need to do is decide what will be useful and acquire it," Brick told Izzy.

XXX

"That's actually a good idea," Izzy confessed. "Okay," she shrugged. "He can be in charge."

XXX

"But if you have a better idea," Brick said with a sincere smile. "I'm all ears!"

"That's better than what I was gonna say," Izzy said holding out her hand. "So I guess you're team captain!" Brick took the offered hand, but Izzy accidentally crushed it in the resulting shake. He whimpered in pain much to her alarm. "Oops."

\

The music shifted back into something intense and dramatic as the shot cut to the Bears taking cover from the continuous volley of tennis balls behind some large rocks. Geoff, Dawn, Courtney, Jaxon, and B were shown crouching behind one formation with varying levels of fright, then the camera panned right onto Britney and Dave.

"One pass each," Britney said, looking to her right at the others. "Grab something good and make your way to-"

"Yeah!" Dave interrupted, raising his arms enthusiastically to Britney's confusion. "She's _totally_ right, good call. I...have some dirt on my hands," he said, looking at his hands with mild panic before waving them with attempted nonchalance, "but no big deal! Let's...do what she says!"

" _What?_!" Courtney yelled from off-screen before Britney could respond.

\

"The most important item we need to get is wood," Brick said as the scene cut back to the Salmons, "so-"

Cameron spoke up. "Actually that wheelbarrow over there should increase our carrying capacity exponentially."

"What'd he just say?" Justin asked, The Eye Candy scratching his head in confusion.

"With the wheelbarrow we can carry more stuff," Izzy translated.

The camera panned to the right, and Anne Maria who spoke up. "Well, I ain't goin' out there with all these balls flyin' around," The Jersey Girl said, ducking as another tennis ball sailed over her hair. "What if I get hit?"

Justin gasped and shielded his face, and Katie gave her an odd look. "Sadie and I will get it!" she volunteered.

"We will?" Sadie asked in confusion.

Katie sighed. "Come on Sadie, someone has to. And this'll be a great way to impress our new friends!" She got out of cover ran off to the left.

"Ooh, I didn't think of that," she said as she stood up and ran off to the left as well. Once they passed by Justin, he sighed in relief.

\

The challenge music resumed as the shot cut to a close-up of B's feet as he ran along the ground, tennis balls falling around him. The camera zoomed out to show The Strong Silent Genius charging forward with his arms raised in front of him like a shield, the tennis balls bouncing off them without apparent effect. He took a step off a small boulder, and the angle shifted to show him somersaulting against the sun before he landed next to the junk pile.

He grabbed a large tire lying on the edge, hoisted it onto his back, and ran back to the left with the balls bouncing off it harmlessly.

"Whoa! Go B!" Britney cheered excitedly as the shot cut back to the other Bears still behind cover, all looking impressed.

XXX

B smugly rubbed his knuckles against his coat and blew on them with a grin.

XXX

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Sadie complained as the static cut away to her standing next to a wheelbarrow and getting pelted by the stream of tennis balls being fired at her. "Are you done yet Katie?"

"I got the wood!" Katie replied as she ran in from the left with an armful of wooden planks and beams. She dumped them into the wheelbarrow, then lifted its handles and ran forward scooping up Sadie along the way.

The shot cut back to the remaining five members of the Salmons. "Okay, so who's going next?" Justin asked, earning an odd look from Cameron and dreamy-eyed looks from Izzy and Anne Maria.

"Ooh, I'll go!" Izzy volunteered, raising her hand enthusiastically before running out into the common area with a cackle.

And then a cry of "Oww! Oww! Oww!" from off-screen as she was struck by tennis balls.

XXX

"It won't be long until I have this platoon acting like a finely tuned machine," Brick confessed proudly.

XXX

"Okay," Dave said as the focus moved to him hiding behind the rocks alone, "gotta say I'm pretty impressed by the big guy."

"Yeah, he is too," Jaxon said as he crept over. "He thinks they should consider making him team captain," he said, the camera pulling back to show the rest of his teammates as he looked around at them.

Dave gave The Artist a strange look. "What are you talking about?!" he asked.

Jaxon glared at Dave. "How many times must he explain this to you. _He_ is _him_!" he hissed and pointed to himself. That only seemed to confuse Dave more.

\

The shot cut to the rocky plateau as a sharp riff played and a shower of sparks exploded out of the side of Chef's tennis ball turret. "Aww man, stupid piece of junk," Chef muttered in annoyance as Chris looked on. "Chris, man, where'd you even get this thing anyway?"

"I don't know," the host answered with a shrug. "Ask the interns."

"Pfft, you gotta stop givin' them their pay out of the equipment surplus," Chef said, turning his attention back to the turret.

"Hey, it worked just fine until _you_ started using it," Chris countered as his assistant jostled the gun.

"Yeah, for the first time since _they_ bought it," Chef replied.

Chris pursed his lips."You may have a point," he said before turning a smile to the camera. "Building supplies are being collected," he said as the capstone theme started playing. "Team Kinosewak is doing a very _wood_ job! But Team Maskwak keeps coming back for _door_. You don't wanna miss any of this here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

A loud, sharp note resumed the episode, Chris popping up in front of the camera with a hearty "We're back! The players are moving," the music shifted into something electronic and almost awestruck, "Chef is shooting, pick your favorite team and start a-rooting!"

The camera pulled back to reveal him and Chef still standing on the rocky plateau. "You _are_ shooting, right?" the host whispered, shielding his mouth with a hand and leaning towards his assistant.

"Hold on just a minute," Chef said gruffly as he shook the Gatling gun vigorously. He then slapped the side of it causing it to fire off a single tennis ball. "Yup, I'm firin' again," he said with a dark smile.

\

The shot cut back to the base of the junk pile as Brick, a coil of rope hanging from his shoulder, picked up a plank of wood. He looked up just as the music spiked dramatically, and with a gasped "Whoa!" he jumped away from the round of tennis balls shot his way, then off to the right.

Britney then entered the scene from the left, immediately looking wary as she dodged and danced around the next stream of tennis balls. "It's going to be impossible to get something with all these tennis balls," she said irately. "Luckily," she said as she reached a hand in her backpack, "I have just the thing." She pulled a tennis racket out of the bag with a smirk.

XXX

"When I was ten my parents did some video work for Wimbledon," the globetrotter explained. "So I picked up some skills there. And as for why I had the racket?" she shrugged and dropped the bag on to the ground. "I just like being prepared." She started rifling through the bag. "I've got some protein bars, bandages, snakebite kit, sunscreen, fez with a propeller. You never know."

XXX

The scene cut back to Britney batting away tennis balls with her racket. "I've got you covered!" she yelled back to her team. "Get some more wood!"

The camera cut to the remaining members of the Bears, who had come out from behind their cover. "Good," Courtney said haughtily. "Geoff, Dave, go grab the wood while it's safe."

"Wait?" Dave spoke up. "Why do _I_ have to go? Shouldn't one of the more athletic-"

He was interrupted by Geoff grabbing his arm and dragging him off. "Come on dude!" he said jovially. "Wood's not gonna grab itself. Then it, like, wouldn't be a challenge."

"I never agreed to this!" Dave yelled fruitlessly.

XXX

Dave sighed deeply before beginning his confessional. "It's obvious I'm not really cut out for this," he said dejectedly. "The only reason I even tried out is because my cousin won the first season and my mom's convinced I can do the same."

He chuckled in a self-deprecating manner. "I'm just hoping I don't get sent home first."

XXXX

The scene skipped ahead to Britney still batting away tennis balls as Dave and Geoff ran back to their team - Geoff with a stack of wood that obstructed his head from view and Dave carrying a few pieces of sheet metal. The globetrotter glanced back at them and smiled... and in doing so left herself open to be hit in the head with a tennis ball.

\

The footage flashed ahead to Jaxon frantically searching through the junk pile. "Digging through trash to find material for shelter," he mused as he lifted an old busted television. "It must be symbolic of the wastefulness of modern society."

He was then hit in the head with two tennis balls. The artist fell over with an odd, stunned look on his face, and the TV landed on his stomach.

The shot cut to Chris and Chef laughing raucously and sharing a high-five.

Another cut showed Anne Maria standing impatiently at the edge of the pile as various small items were tossed out of it by some unseen person. "Okay, _why_ did I agree to do this again?" she said in annoyance, ducking under a brick tossed unwittingly at her and, unintentionally, a tennis ball coming from the other direction.

"Because Justin asked you to and you drooled so much you dropped your hairspray," Cameron said, leaning out from the pile as the Jersey girl gave him a scathing look.

"Besides," Brick said before she could reply, "three soldiers have a higher chance of success than just one or two."

"Yeah, yeah" Anne Maria replied in annoyance. "Don't mean I gotta like it!" Just then a tennis ball struck her in the back of her head, bouncing harmlessly off her hair with a metallic gong. She wheeled around furiously, then bent over and picked a brick up off the ground. "Hey! Watch the _hair_ , bozo!" she yelled, throwing the brick up towards where the tennis ball had come from.

The shot cut to the brick bouncing off the edge of the rocky plateau that Chris and Chef were standing on. The two men shared a nervous look, then broke out into laughter again before Chef resumed firing.

\

A flash took the scene to Dave and Courtney, once more hiding behind the cover the Bears had chosen. "Uh," Dave asked warily, "are you gonna help us at any point or...?"

The camera cut to Courtney narrowing her eyes at the stream of tennis balls. With a sharp spike in music and a dramatic "Hi- _YAH_!" she jumped in the air and roundhouse kicked one of the balls headed her way.

The camera move behind the ball as it flew back at a startled Chef Hatchet. The scene went black for a second as white starts and red stripes flashed across the screen, accompanying a sound like broken glass. Chef groaned in pain.

"Wowzers!" Chris said to a light tune as the camera's 'eyes' slowly blinked open, showing the smiling host standing overhead. "That girl's got some _skills_ , huh?"

A few deep beats played as the shot returned to the central junk pile. Dave and Courtney were searching the left end, B was looking through the top of it, Cameron was sifting through the right end, and Katie and Sadie were searching the bottom. Tennis balls littered the ground around them, but none were flying through the air.

Then the airhorn suddenly blew, promptly all of them to stop what they were doing and look up from the pile – including Izzy, who rose up from under a large tire near the top. "Iiiiiiiit's _building_ time!" Chris announced from off-screen before the shot cut to him. "Are you comin'," he turned and asked someone below and behind him, "or do you only wanna get paid for half the episode?"

Chef sat up, his right eye purple and swollen. Chris laughed and walked off, a sharp note playing as his large assistant stood with a groan and followed after.

\

The scene moved to seven members of the Floating Salmons standing in a large rocky clearing, all the wood and other supplies they'd gathered lying between them. "Salmon Company," Brick said as the team's logo spun into view overhead, "under my supervision we will build the _best_ military themed dwelling available."

"Military?" Sadie repeated as the shot cut to her and Katie sharing a questioning look to the soldier's left.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Anne Maria spoke up, shaking her hands in objection, "I ain't sleepin' in no barracks."

"What's wrong with a barracks? Izzy asked innocently. "They're a lot roomier than the movies make them look."

Anne Maria scoffed. "Look at me," she said in a vain tone, raising up a finger and moving her head from side to side. "Do you think I can survive sleepin' like a jarhead?"

"That's a good point," Justin spoke up, the camera panning over to show him standing next a pile of long wooden posts. "My modeling contracts are very strict." He took off his shirt and the camera zoomed in on his glowing chest as a dreamy pop tune began to play. "And I don't wanna risk losing _this_ ," he gestured to his well-muscled torso.

"Don't worry Justin," Katie said as the camera cut to her, Sadie, and Izzy staring at him dreamily. " _We'll_ build it safe enough for you!" The other two girls nodded mutely.

"Thanks girls," Justin said before turning to the camera and winking.

XXX

"I'm not just another pretty face," the model said smugly, "and abs, and hair, and butt okay? I'm also a _master strategist_. And you folks at home should watch out because I, am in it." He crossed his arms. "To _win_ it."

XXX

The Confused Bears' logo spun into view as the shot flashed to them, standing around a large leafless tree next to the various objects they'd managed to take from the pile.

"And the heroes banded together to discuss the next step of their quest," Jaxon narrated dramatically as the camera zoomed in on him standing at the far right next to Courtney. "What manner of dwelling should they build?"

Courtney gave the artist an odd look, then rolled her eyes. "Okay guys, we need a project manager. Since I've actually _been_ a CIT before, I'm electing myself. Any objections?"

"Courtney wait," Dawn said as the camera cut to her and B, the silent teen looking at the pile of wood then up at the tree. "I sense B has a plan."

"Then why doesn't B _tell_ us what his plan is?" Courtney asked as the shot pulled back to show the whole team.

"B doesn't speak," the moonchild replied. "It's all over his aura.

B shrugged and nodded his head.

"I don't know," Dave chimed in. "What do you think, Britney?" he asked, the camera focusing in on the globetrotter.

"Uhh...well, I think we should listen to B," she said. "I mean, he _did_ build that fiery-floaty thingy."

Dawn looked at the genius, who nodded at her with a small smirk. "Okay," she said to the team. "Here's the plan."

\

A military bugle started to play as the scene cut to a slow pan across a small hangar-shaped building cobbled together out of various sheets of scrap metal, the roughly curved roof patched with wood or even cloth in some places. It was nestled in between several erratic boulders of various sizes, and at the far right a shower curtain was used as the front door. Standing outside the building were the Salmons, the camera cutting to show them lined up and looking mostly satisfied.

"Well done Platoon!" Brick said in congratulations. "This isn't bad."

"It ain't _good_ either," Anne Maria muttered under her breath.

"This looks _nice_!" said Chris as an oddly heroic theme played, the shot pulling back to show him descending to the far side of the barn on his jetpack. " _But_ , putting it at ground level might not have been such a great idea."

"Why not?" Cameron asked before the music turned ominous and the ground began to shake. The camera panned to the rest of his team as they all looked around with wide, nervous eyes.

"Here comes your answer!" Chris told them with a hint of glee, the music rising as the seven teens caught sight of something and ran screaming to the left.

A large herd of moose came stampeding by, and the shot cut to the Salmons watching fearfully from some rocks. "This island is a little more _wild_ than our last one," Chris called out over the din of the stampede.

The herd soon passed, though, and the seven teens stood from their cover with fearful, wide-eyed looks towards their hangar. The camera quick-panned over to show it apparently unharmed...before it suddenly trembled, then with a deep and dramatic chant collapsed in on itself.

"NO...!" groaned six of the teens.

Anne Maria groaned. "All that work and the stupid thing don't even hold?!"

"Excuse me?!" Katie said angrily. "We busted our butts building that thing, it's not like we expected a stampede!"

"And you didn't even _help_ us," Sadie pointed out. "All you did was spray that hairpray in our faces."

"Hey I wanna win too," the Jersey girl said. "But I'm not riskin' my looks because of it. Justin knows what I'm talking about. He didn't do nothin' either. Right Hotstuff?"

The two best friends turned to the model who looked on with wide eyes.

" _He's_ a professional model," Katie defended. "He could like lose his job if he got injured. _You_ were just being lazy."

\

An upbeat jazzy tune began to play as the scene cut to a slow pan across a small nestled in the top branches of the tree. While the walls all seemed to be uniformly wood; the roof was cobbled together out of various sheets of scrap metal, planks of wood, bricks, and even a tire. The seven Confused Bears all stood on a balcony of sorts and admired their handiwork.

"Whoa dude!" Geoff said in amazement from the center of the group, raising his arms before walking about their new shelter, the camera moving behind the rest of the team once more. "Looks like B really knows what he's doing."

"It's great, B," Britney said with a happy smile as the shot cut back to her, Dave by her side staring at his hands in shock and horror.

"I...really think I need to go wash my sweaty, greasy hands right now...," he said, looking almost shellshocked. "And...the rest of me, too..." he added as his teammates looked on.

"I admit it," Courtney said in a resigned tone. "We were right to listen to B."

The music suddenly turned tense as Chris flew down towards them on his jetpack. "Nice treehouse," he said while hovering above them in the air. "Good job making it moose-proof."

"Making it what now?" Britney asked in confusion before the ground began to shake.

The shot quickly cut to a close-up of the approaching herd, then back to the Bears. Their nervous faces looked down from the railing that surrounded the building, watching as the moose thundered past. The camera cut back outward to show the entire shelter as the last moose passed, and the dust began to settle.

When nothing happened, the Bears let out a collective cheer.

\

A flash took the scene to another clearing, the two teams now seated on long logs with the Bears on the left and the Salmons on the right. "I'd like to say it was a hard decision," Chris said, standing between them as the music boomed dramatically, "but, let's keep it real. Team Waneyihtam Maskwak wins the challenge!" he announced, provoking a groan of disappointment from the Salmons as a tune of victory played.

The camera panned across the winners, showing B and Dawn smirking and smiling respectively, Geoff and Jaxon exchanging a high-five, Britney raising her arms and cheering prompting Dave to follow suit, and Courtney on the end silently pumping her fist to herself.

"The winners of each challenge will be rewarded this season with a take-out order from a sponsoring restaurant," he told the Bears. "This week, it's the Petting Zoo Barbecue," he said, the victorious music being replaced by a calm elevator music jingle as he took out two paper bags bearing the logo of a grinning sheep sitting in a barbecue grill. "The Petting Zoo Barbecue, someone _else_ touched your dinner," he told the camera. "We guarantee it." He winked.

"Aww man...," Izzy groaned as the shot cut to the losers. "I could really go for some goat right now..."

"Team Pimâpotew Kinosewak," Chris walked over and told them as the music became tense again, "please go vote! One member of your team is heading home today."

The seven of them groaned.

\

A few deep drum beats reopened the music as the scene faded ahead to nightfall, the full moon shining over a long-distance shot of Pahkitew Island. "Welcome to the Pahkitew Island elimination area," Chris greeted, the scene cutting to the flat hilltop that had been shown at the beginning of the episode. The traditional low, slow, and tense elimination had already begun, the fires of both the central pit and the surrounding torches had been lit, and the seven members of the Floating Salmon had seated themselves on the logs and rocks lined up to the side.

"This is where we determine who stays to play another day," Chris continued, "and who gets a one-way ticket home."

XXX

"Aw, do I have to vote for anyone?" Izzy asked in childish disappointment. "They all seem so nice."

XXX

"I don't get it," Brick said in astonishment. "I thought the bunker would be impenetrable. But it was... penetrated..."

XXX

Anne Maria was spraying her hair as the next confessional began. "Uggh. I risked my looks for _this_? What a rip-off," she complained.

XXX

"The votes are in," Chris said, the shot cutting to him with a tray of six marshmallows in his hand. "If I hand you a marshmallow," he picked up the first of the treats, "you're safe. Brick."

"Alright!" the soldier said from the far right end of the front row, snapping off a salute before catching the prize that was tossed to him.

"Katie _and_ Sadie," the host continued as the camera panned to the two girl sitting alone in the back row. They hugged each other and squealed, both completely missing the marshmallows tossed their way.

"Cameron," the camera panned to the far left to show the bubble boy catching his marshmallow with a grin, "aaaaand Izzy," a short pan to the right showed the wildcard catching hers in her mouth, "you are safe."

"Anne Maria," the host said, the shot pulling back to show the Jersey girl sitting between Izzy and Brick, "your unwillingness to risk your looks for the sake of the team slowed them down. Also," he added as she shrugged uncaringly and pulled her can of hairspray from her pouf, "it's kinda hard to _breathe_ around you." Her eyes popped open, and she put the can away with a sheepish smile.

"And Justin," the host continued as the shot cut to the model sitting with his arms crossed next to Cameron, opening his eyes and raising his brow in confusion. "You _also_ did nothing to help your team for the sake of your looks."

"I don't think my team'll hold it against me," Justin said with a grin.

"Yeah, don't care," Chris told him with a shake of his head. "Okay!" he continued with a smile, holding up the last marshmallow as the music began to trill. "The final marshmallow goes to..."

The shot cut from a close-up of Anne Maria, looking nervously from side to side as she filed her nails, to Justin, crossing his arms and nervously looking around as the tense elimination theme continued.

"Justin," Chris finally said, tossing the last prize to the model.

Justin let out a sigh of relief, eagerly catching the marshmallow with both hands.

"What?" Anne Maria asked in confusion. "But that means-"

"You're going home," Katie said as the camera panned out to show the whole team in the shot.

"This island is named Pahkitew," Chris said as a somber elimination theme began to play. "Which, is the Cree word for 'exploding'. So, we thought it fitting that this season's mode of transportation home should be something with a bang."

\

The scene rotated about itself, transitioning to Chris and Chef standing by some large object hidden under a sheet. "Without further ado," the host said dramatically, his assistant grabbing the sheet as a grandiose anthem began to play, "I give you the _Boom_ of Abashment, the Kablam of Chagrin, this season's humiliating way home," the camera zoomed out as Chef pulled away the sheet to reveal a large cannon with alternating red and white stripes spiraling around the barrel, "the _Cannon_ of _Shame_!"

The remaining Salmons gasped in shock.

"Any last words?" Chris asked dryly over a close-up of Anne Maria's head emerging from the muzzle of the cannon.

"Whatever," Anne Maria said bitterly. "I was too good for this Total Dramarama stuff anyway!"

"If you say so," Chris interrupted mirthfully as the camera cut outward to show the whole cannon and those watching it. The host pressed the button on his remote, and the cannon finally fired.

Anne Maria screamed as she was shot into the night, her former teammates watching on as the opening notes of the capstone theme played in the background.

"You know what's weird?" Chris asked as he turned from the rapidly-disappearing form of Anne Maria to face the camera. "I already _don't_ miss her," he told it with a laugh as the capstone theme began in earnest.

"Well, that's one down and thirteen to go," he continued with a widening grin. "Who's the next human cannonball? There are just too many good choices! Tune in and find out yourself, here on Total!" The shot jumped outward to show Chef, the cannon, and the remaining Salmons. "Drama!" The next jumpcut revealed the low rocky outcropping they were standing on by the beach. "Paaaaaahkitew Island!" And the final jumpcut showed the entire island from afar, the light of the elimination area shining from the smaller rock formation linked to the island by it's natural arch.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I imagine I've made quite a few people sad by booting Anne Maria first, so I'll try and explain that to start off. Basically I formed the teams by picking the Confused Bears, and shoving the rest onto the other team. B for the jetpack gag, Dawn as a translator, Jaxon to annoy Dave, Dave because of canon, Britney for Dave's love interest, Geoff because the idea of him screaming in mid air amused me, and Courtney to take Dave's canon role as only sane man. And since there's no way B's going to lose a building challenge someone from the other team had to go home first. And since I plan on giving Katie and Sadie personalities, Brick's planned as team leader, and Justin's a good candidate for the antagonist (I haven't decided who it's going to be yet), that just left either Izzy, Cameron, or Anne Maria. And of those three, Anne Maria's the one I had the fewest ideas for. Luckily, her vanity and hairspray gag made her a believable early boot especially with Katie's personality in this universe.

So yeah. To summarize, I eliminated Anne Maria because I really had no idea what to do with her, and that made her the most expendable person in the cast. It's a shame, as I really like her canon friendship with Cameron. But that wasn't enough to justify booting Izzy, as that's who would've gotten the boot if I had emphasized said friendship here.

Regarding Katie and Sadie. Expect them to be somewhat similar to their canon counterparts, but also different in the ways that count. Katie is labeled as the Hot-Blooded because I imagine her as someone who is ruled by her emotions. Sadie is labeled as the Codependent as to sort of showcase her role as Katie's sidekick. But she's also very smart. Canon implied she's smarter than Sadie so I'm taking that and running with it. If anyone's seen the Amazing World of Gumball, just think of Katie and Sadie as Gumball and Darwin respectively.

Izzy, I'm planning on making her a mix of her Island and Action self. Meaning she's also an intelligent young woman who's a bit unpredictable. Expect her to go from flawless strategy to wondering what socks think at the drop of a hat. But even in her weirdest, the hints of intelligence will still be there. Unlike how she was just plain crazy and also stupid in World Tour.

And then there's Courtney. My least favorite character ever. Her role this season actually goes against my bias for her. I mean, she's still bossy and hypocritical, but I'll do my best not to let her All-Stars and World Tour self shine through. It should be pretty easy with the team I put her on.

As for the challenge...well, it was pretty straightforward once I knew Anne Maria would be the first boot. The Bears had to win, meaning they needed to do well in the scavenging portion of the episode. Brick and B were chosen as the two shelter-builders because they both took leadership roles (sort of) in canon season four.

Now for who I imagine voicing the Danger Island campers:

 _ **Britney**_ \- Mulan from Mulan

 _ **Jaxon**_ \- Iron Fist from Ultimate Spider-Man

But yeah. I hope I managed to keep everyone in character, it's always rough for me the first few chapters. Let me know what you thought of the cast and of the premiere as a whole, and I'll see you all next week.

Also, gotta say off the bat. I'm _not_ shipping B/Dawn in this universe. They're one of my favorites, but I'm looking forward to more... nontraditional pairings from now on unless it's a canon one I really like.

Before I forget! I can reveal the final cast due to process of elimination. The cast of Danger Island are: _**Beth, Carly, Contessa, Dakota, Jasmine, Leonard, Lindsay, Max, Mitch, Olivia, Owen, Rebecca, Rodney, Scott, Terrance,**_ and _ **Topher**_

Now remember, of all of these, sixteen will move on to All-Stars 2 with each cast producing four Heroes and four Villains.

And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria


	2. (beat)

**Author's Note:** Is it just me, or did this week go by a lot faster than last week? I had a bit of writer's block, but I managed to get it done. Now let's get greasy.

 **ANNOUNCEMENT:** This was probably a forgone conclusion, but I can safely say that Geoff and Brody will be in the Ridonculous Race. However, they will be using their pre-production team name, The Bromance Bros. I have me reasons.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Jason Kreuger Myers:**_ Thanks, but I feel the need to point out I don't choose any debuts. You have a good idea, but I've already planned that particular episode out.

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ Well there was about a 50/50 chance to get them right. What can I say? People like oddballs, and I specifically made Jaxon as odd as I could. When it comes to Dawn and B, I honestly see any type of relationship between them to be plausible, but they're very rarely written as good friends. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't really considering balance when making the teams so I'm really glad they seem that way. Anne Maria does have a uniqueness to offer, but not on this particular season. I can't blame writers for brushing Katie and Sadie to the side, we have so little to work with in canon. _Ezekiel_ was given more characterization and that was before they destroyed him.

 _ **Guest:**_ This is actually my favorite cast out of the four. Funny thing about Anne Maria, if the writers had succeeded in what they wanted to so we all would've hated her. But as it stands, eh. I have a feeling I'll defending my hatred of Courtney for the rest of my life. Yeah, they were a couple in All-Stars 2 even if I did handle it poorly. Not in a it ended bad way, but more of a I wasn't that good a writer back then way. I hope this season can live up to your expectations!

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I know, I'm staring to think that randomizers just hate her. I can't take credit for that reference, that's what she called the show in her audition tape. Yeah, the randomizers hate Dave too. But I can honestly say that Britney/Dave will end better than Sky/Dave. And I decided to make Dave and Noah cousins because, well have you seen them, they look a lot alike. In my opinion, the only time Chris should tick off Chef is when he needs Chef mad for a challenge, hence the parachute gag. I'm glad you like the plan with Katie, Sadie, and Izzy. For everything else, wait and see.

 _ **TheChrisanthemum:**_ You're a Dave fan too? Dude! Internet five! Anyway, your premier reviews as always contain quite a bit that I can't comment on, but I really hope you enjoy what I have in store for your favorites.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Those three the big ones who I want to 'fix' from canon. And to be fair Courtney agreed with B begrudgingly. So it's totally in character.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Glad you like the cast, but I didn't choose anyone to compete here. I've been looking forward to writing characters like Courtney, Izzy and Cameron. Well, I have some ideas, but I don't know how they'll turn out. At the risk of revealing future plans, I have to question Brick and Izzy as a couple. Where's you get _that_ idea? I mean, nothing will really come out of Dave and Noah being cousins, but it felt like it needed to be added.

 _ **The Aspiring Fanfic Fanatic:**_ Thanks. To be fair, Izzy's still crazy just in a matter of unpredictably.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Again, what's with the Brick and Izzy pairing? I just don't get it.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Thanks for the reviews! But you weren't supposed to like Matthew, at any point of the series. It's a little weird that you ship Dott, but other than that, I really hope you like all the twists and turns this season.

 _ **Killshot Kamikaze:**_ Well, we aren't given a lot to work with for Katie and Sadie. Even Brainzilla wasn't that smart, she just seemed like somebody pretending to be. But yes, I prefer Island and Action Izzy to all other versions... except maybe Dramarama.

 _ **Rouge Tundra:**_ I know, this is the cast I've been looking forward to since day one. And while I could definitely see them in canon, there won't be even a hint of Dave/Courtney this time. Maybe if Britney hadn't been here...

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Britney, Courtney, Dave, Dawn, Geoff, Jaxon

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Cameron, Izzy, Justin, Katie, Sadie

We can't grease Lightning, but we can grease a pig

* * *

 **Episode 02: ...**

"Last time, on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!" Chris said over a shot of the new island from afar, the capstone theme beginning in the background. "It's an all-new season with an all-new island," he said as the recap montage opened with shots of the cave, the waterfall, and the elimination area. "And all-new _victims_!" he added gleefully over clips of Geoff and Justin in the zeppelin; and Anne Maria, Dave, Jaxon, Brick, Katie, and Sadie there as well. "I mean... _competitors_!" the host corrected with a laugh over a clip of Dawn complimenting B on his aura.

"Two incredible teams were created," Chris continued as the seven members of the Confused Bears rose up from behind the stumps and bushes they'd chosen as cover for the first part of the challenge. "And by incredible," the members of the Floating Salmon were shown reacting to Dave getting hit in the head by a tennis ball, "I mean incredibly _weird_." Brick tried to lift Cameron to his feet, only for the bubble boy to immediately fall over again.

"The first challenge was to build themselves a home," the host said as B was shown leaping into action for his team, followed by the group shot of several campers searching the junk pile after Chef had been knocked out. "And Team Kinosewak's tree fort was a hands-down winner," he added as the winning team was shown watching the stampeding moose herd from the balcony of their new shelter, "when compared to Maswak's collapsing hangar," he said as the hangar was shown collapsing to the horror of its builders.

"And for doing nothing but complaining about losing her looks," Chris said over clips of Anne Maria landing on Cameron, then spraying hairspray in the zeppelin, "and, well, being annoying in general, Anne Maria was the first one to be fired away in our Cannon of Shame!" Anne Maria was shown being blasted into the night, ending the recap montage.

"So, what firsts can we expect during our second challenge?" Chris asked the camera, standing against the dawn sky. "Find out soon, on Total!" The shot jumped backward to show him standing on the natural arch leading to the elimination area. "Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A pleasant, lilting tune began as the episode opened on Pahkitew Island, the sun only just rising out from between the peaks of its hills. The logo of the Confused Bears spun into the corner of the screen as the shot moved to the team's treefort, and the camera soon cut inside.

The focus was placed first on the right half of the building, where the three girls were shown sound asleep under torn and tattered blankets. The camera moved between a few close-ups to show Dawn and Britney sleeping in a set of rustic-looking bunkbeds along the right wall; Courtney sleeping in the top bunk of another bunk bed against the left wall ; and the clotheslines running from back-right to front-left, where it seemed most of the girls' outerwear had been hung for the night.

The camera cut to the other side of the building, and showed the four boys sound asleep as well. Dave and Geoff slept in a bunkbed set along the left wall; while B and Jaxon slept along the right wall. As with the girls' room there was a clothesline running through it that held most of their outerwear, and several boxes and crates and barrels littered the room like furniture. Atop a central barrel was an empty bag from their reward meal.

Dave started to groan almost in his sleep as the camera focused on him. He suddenly bolted upright, hopped down to the floor, and walked to the clothesline.

The camera cut outside to show Britney, fully dressed, leaning against the railing of the treefort as Dave, also dressed, walked outside. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked her.

Britney turned around with a smile. "Good morning Dave," she said brightly. "I was just about to go forage for some food," she told him while ducking slightly. The shot quickly cut to Geoff and B, fully clothed, watching with smirks. "Would you... like to come with me?"

"Out there in the woods?" Dave asked nervously. "With all the dirt and the bugs? No thank you." Geoff and B palmed their faces.

Britney deflated a little. "Oh," she said softly, "another time then."

XXX

Geoff started his confessional with a chuckle. "Man, I used to think only my buddy Brody was that bad with the ladies. I gotta help the little dude out."

XXX

The scene moved to the ruins of the Floating Salmons' hangar, their logo appearing in the corner of the screen as the camera panned to the left. It stopped on the team itself, gathered around the smoldering remains of a campfire with no shelter in sight.

"Uggh, we really need to finish the hangar today," Izzy said as the shot cut to a close-up of her face, showing the dark bags under her eyes as the wildcard stretched and yawn. "I don't know how raccoons sleep in trees, but I totally can't do it."

The camera cut to Justin admiring his reflection in a hand mirror. "No one said you had to sleep in the trees Izzy," he pointed out.

"Besides," Sadie said as the shot pulled back to show her holding the mirror Justin was looking at, "Cameron and Brick are working out what went wrong and how to fix it right now."

XXX

"It's only been a day and I've got Katie and Sadie wrapped around my gorgeous little finger," Justin said smugly. "Once I get Izzy to fall for me, and I _will_ , that'll give me three votes."

"Now I'm no math expert, but I'm pretty sure four votes plus six team members equals one incredibly handsome millionaire."

XXX

The static cut to Cameron and Brick standing in the wreckage of their shelter. "Well do you see what might have happened?" Brick asked.

Cameron looked at what was presumably the middle of the building. "It looks like the support beam wasn't properly braced," the bubble boy explained. "Without it anything more than a 1.5 on the Richter scale would've caused instantaneous collapse."

"Hmm," the soldier mused, rubbing his chin. "I was certain I'd told Justin to make sure that was built properly. I guess we all make mistakes," Cameron pursed his lips in thought.

XXX

"I don't know," the bubble boy said. "Something's just telling me not to trust that guy. Justin not Brick. It's almost like he has some weird hypnotic hold over the girls. It's unlike anything I've ever seen!"

XXX

A pleasant tune began to play as the scene flashed to a close-up of a bush growing along a forest trail. A pair of hiking boots walked out from behind it, and the camera pulled back to show Britney moving through the woods with a focused expression.

"Huh," she said to herself, "I expected more flowering trees and bushes considering the emphasis on survival this time." She stopped in her tracks and looked around. "Hey, there's something!" she said brightly before jogging over to a small tree-like shrub covered in red berries. She moved her hand out to start picking, but stopped abruptly. "Wait," she said, narrowing her eyes, "why is there a Chinese Mulberry Bush in Western Canada?"

The shot cut to a close-up of the berries. "Well they're not poisonous so I should definitely remember this spot," she decided, the camera returning to its usual position as she started harvesting some and placing them in a side pocket of her backpack. "I bet that'd really impress Dave."

Just then a triumphant sigh came from nearby, causing the globetrotter to perk up with interest. The camera panned ahead and to the right as she started walking in that direction, and the shot landed on Courtney standing by a similar berry bush to the one Britney had found.

"Berries are a decent _snack_ ," the preppy girl said with a superior air. "But we're going to need something _filling_ , like these apples I found," as she spoke, she held up one of the apples revealing it to be a light green with numerous spots and specks of darker greens.

Britney's eyes widened in shock. "No don't!" she yelled, tackling her teammate so the fruit flew from her hands.

"Hey!" Courtney protested, shoving the globetrotter off her. "What's your problem?"

"Sorry," Britney told her. "But that was a-"

"Manchineel fruit," came the voice of Brick, attracting the attention of the two Bears as he marched over from the left. "Referred to by the Spanish as 'The little apple of death'."

"He's right," Britney said as the two girls stood up and brushed any dirt off their clothes. "Well, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have died. But your mouth and throat would've swollen up pretty badly."

The camera cut to Courtney's hand, swollen and blistered. She shrieked and frantically started trying to scratch it.

"Don't worry," Britney told her. "All you have to do is-"

"Soak your hand in water and scrub it with sand," Brick finished. "The swelling should be gone within ten minutes."

"Oh," Courtney said softly, "thanks."

"Just because we're enemy combatants doesn't mean we can't be cordial with each other," Brick replied as a light tune played in the background.

XXX

"Brick is so... genuine," Courtney told the outhouse with a surprised look on her face. "And the rugged military thing doesn't hurt," she added.

"Not that I think he's cute or anything!" she said quickly. "I'm just making an observation."

XXX

"Campers!" Chris called over a tall loudspeaker, a drumroll as he paused leading into a more intense tune. "The only good thing about this morning is, that it's gonna get worse. For _you_." He laughed, and the shot cut to the five members of the Floating Salmon that were rebuilding their hangar pausing to listen. "There's a path heading into the forest. Follow it to today's hurt-tacular challenge." The three foragers were shown listening as well before the scene flashed away.

\

"Thanks for finding breakfast Brick!" Cameron said as the six Salmons were shown walking single-file through the woods with nuts and berries in their hands. "The anti-oxidants will certainly increase our performance in the challenge."

"My thoughts exactly," Brick said, right in front of Cameron at the head of their marching order. "More or less."

"I can't believe you found so much food so fast!" Justin added in amazement, right behind Cameron.

Izzy shrugged, right behind the model. "Anyone with military training could've done it."

"Oh, could you teach me?" Katie asked from the back of the line between her best friend and Izzy. "I _love_ these berries!"

"And it's a good idea for more than one person to know how to find food," Sadie chimed in.

"Good point Sadie," Brick told her. "It's good to see you're interested in how to survive out here in the wild."

\

Another flash took the scene to the Bears walking along a similar path in a similar position with their hands full of berries.

"Listen dude," Geoff told Dave as they walked along near the middle of the pack, only Jaxon behind them, "you missed a primo chance this morning. Britney _wanted_ you to go foraging with her."

"But..." the germaphobe protested weakly. "The dirt..."

"Must he suffer through this romance arc?" Jaxon muttered from behind them.

The camera panned up to show Dawn and B just in front of Geoff. "Oh, thank you for finding breakfast for us Britney."

"Oh, it was no problem," Britney said happily from in front of B.

At the front of the line, Courtney rolled her eyes. But before she could protest, a the whine of the loudspeaker came on.

"Clam up, campers!" Chris said over the loudspeaker. "Pick up the pace!"

"Come on," Courtney said. "We don't wanna be late."

\

The scene moved to the bank of a river, the thirteen campers standing with their back to the camera in front of the host. "Welcome, victims," he greeted, the shot slowly zooming in, "to the _Oop_ -stacle Relay Race of Hilarious Hurts." He was standing between a widescreen television set up on a tall stump next to another tree, and a pair of lawn chairs set up by a crate bearing a pitcher of ice water and a plate of sandwiches.

"He thinks you could've spent more time on the name," Jaxon said as the shot moved to the campers.

"Nobody asked you, Jaxon," Chris commented with a sharp glare as the focus returned to him. "Now, each player takes on a different Oop-stacle," he explained, "starting with..." He pointed a remote at the TV next to him, a DVD player sitting below it in a hollow carved into the stump. The television switched on, and the camera cut in closer to show two tall, sloped wooden balance beams running over a mass of brambles sitting in a small pond. All of the logs that made it up were coated with a thick, orange grease. "The Greased Log, Over a Thorny Bog!"

A bit of static cut the TV footage to the top of a cliff, a rope tied to a tall tree and leading down and to the right off the cliff. "That gets you to a Greasy Zipline over the ravine for the next player," Chris continued, the footage quick-panning down the line to show the other end tied a tree near the edge of a lower cliff. Another bit of static moved the scene to a massive three-dimensional maze of pipes, all lying in a bed of grease. "Then," the host continued as the footage slowly panned to the right along the pipes, "a quick and painful journey through, the Grease-tacular Tube-tacular!"

"Next up," Chris said as the next round of static took the focus to a large bed of tires unsurprisingly lying in grease, "is the Grease Tires!" The footage immediately transitioned to a shot of two wheelbarrows standing next to a veritable lake of grease. "Then a pass-off to the Greasy Wheelbarrow Race," another round of static took the scene to a tall, steep, grease-covered wooden slope with a pair of climbing ropes running down it. "And the last lucky player climbs a rope, up the Greased Wall. Or tries to and falls, which is waaaay funnier," he ended with a laugh.

"That's...a lot of grease," Dave said in rising panic as the shot cut back to the Bears. "It's...very greasy, like...all of it! Greasy...," he drooped in defeat.

"Yup," Chris said with a smile. "Now, I was _gonna_ have you pass a relay baton. But! Couldn't find any."

"So what will we have to use instead?" Cameron asked warily as the shot moved to the Salmon. "I've seen this show, and I'm pretty sure it's something impractical."

His answer came in the form of a horrifying squeal and the sound of something being dragged along the ground, shocking all the members of his team. "You'll be using," Chris said as the camera moved behind the campers again and panned to the right onto Chef struggling to drag over whatever was attached to the leashes in his hands, "greased wild _boars_!" The camera stopped on a flag-marked starting line, which Chef was slowly dragging two large spotted pigs over – one brown, the other pink.

"Not so much batons, as _ba-cons_!" the host joked poorly, turning a cheesy smile back to the Salmons.

Izzy laughed in delight, though whether at the joke or the boars was uncertain. "That is _so_ awesome."

"Thank you Izzy," Chris smiled as he walked over to the starting line, the two boars now sitting relatively calmly in front of it while Chef stood before them between the flags. "First team across the finish line with their boar," Chris continued with his usual smile, "wins."

"He has a question" Jaxon spoke up as the shot moved to the Bears, Dave's eye twitching. "There are six obstacles, but they have seven members."

"Two of you will have to double up on one section of the race," Chris explained off-screen before the camera cut back to him. "Now, decide who's on what oop-stacle. Cause the race is about to start!"

"Alright, so-" Courtney and Britney began at the same time as the focus cut back to the Bears. The two paused, then looked strangely at one another.

"What are you doing?" The two girls asked.

The two paused again. "Umm...," Britney began hesitantly before Courtney could say anything. "Sorry, but I just wanna get everything sorted out."

"Well, that's what I was doing," Courtney said. "After all, I'm this team's _leader_."

Britney cocked her head in confusion, and Dave raised an eyebrow next to her. "I thought B was in charge," the globetrotter said. "So I was gonna ask Dawn what he thought."

Courtney gasped in indignation. "B can't be this team's leader! He doesn't even _talk_!" she took a deep breath and calmed herself down. "I on the other hand used to be a CIT. I _know_ what I'm doing."

XXX

"I'm obviously the only person on the team with any leadership experience," Courtney told the outhouse haughtily. "That and I don't think any of the others are really cut out for important decision making."

XXX

"Now," the prep told her team as the scene cut back to them, "we need to decide who should pair up."

"He volunteers to pair with Dawn," Jaxon immediately said, sending a lopsided smile the moonchild's way.

"Uh..." Dawn tried to say before Courtney interrupted her.

"Then it's settled," the prep said. "You two take the pipes." Jaxon smiled and Dawn frowned. "I'll take the tires and Britney," she turned to the globetrotter, "you're on the log. Geoff gets the zipline," she continued as the shot moved to the party dude's smirk, "B can take the wall, leaving Dave with the wheelbarrow," she finished as the camera panned to the two boys, the latter not looking enthused. "Everybody clear?" Courtney asked as the shot cut backward to show the full team.

"Crystal!" Geoff declared brightly despite the rest of the team's lack of enthusiasm.

"Then let's go!" Courtney ordered, waving for her team to follow as she ran off to the left. Geoff and Britney were right behind her, Dave and Dawn and Jaxon behind them, and B was last, strolling with his hands in his pockets.

The camera panned away from them to the left to show the Salmons still deciding. "Okay Salmon Company" Brick said to his team. "We have to take all of us into account for this. Now here's the plan. I'll start us off on the logs," he patted himself on the chest. "Then Justin does the zipline," Brick continued, walking over to the model.

"Why do _I_ have to do it?" Justin whined.

"Would you rather risk falling into water, or grease?" Cameron asked.

"You gotta point," Justin conceded.

Brick nodded, then turned to Katie and Sadie. "Sadie, I need you to run the tubes," he told her, earning a bright smile and a nod. "Katie runs the wheelbarrow, leaving Izzy on the wall. Is that alright with you ma'am?" he asked the wildcard.

The shot cut to Izzy. "Totally!" she gasped. "I'll be like a rabid monkey."

"Okay teams!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker, causing Izzy and Brick to look up. "Take your places!"

"You heard the man," Brick said brightly as he led his team to the right, "let's win it platoon!"

\

"Rrready?" Chris asked, him and Chef now sitting in the lawn chairs by the television. A deep note began a slow but intense challenge tune, a boar squealing deeply as the camera panned over to the starting line. Britney and Brick were standing with leashes in hand, the soldier holding the calmer pink boar while the globetrotter struggled with the angry brown one. "Set!" Chris called out next before blowing his airhorn.

The brown boar quickly pulled itself free of Britney's grasp. "Wwwwhoa, hey!" the globetrotter said as she chased after it, first to the right and then back around to the left. "Come back!"

Brick and his boar watched them blankly for a second before the giant pig simply sat down with a stubborn squeal, Brick sighed. "C'mon,," he told it, walking ahead of it with leash in hand. "We need to," he grunted as he started dragging the boar along, its hooves digging into the dirt, "move!"

A few more deep, dramatic notes played as he stopped pulling and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Okay, Plan B...," he told the boar.

\

The footage flashed ahead to the greased logs, and the sound of Brick's triumphant "Hoo-ah!" preceded his appearance at the left. He was carrying his boar piggyback style, and with an excited grin he stepped foot on the slope up to the main balance beam.

He promptly slipped on the grease and fell face-first onto the slope, the boar squealing in fright on his back. "Doi..." he groaned as his eyes spun comically

\

Another flash took the scene to the bottom of the wall, where B waited with Izzy.

"Sooo...," the wildcard said, rubbing his chin and giving the genius a narrow-eyed look of suspicion. "B is it? What's your story...?"

B just looked at her oddly, then shrugged.

"Not much of a talker huh?" she asked before shrugging herself. "I get it."

XXX

"That guy's a little weird," Izzy said. "I mean, to go your whole life without saying anything? Crazy right?"

XXX

The static took the scene back to the greased logs as Brick hauled himself up to the main balance beam on his belly. "Easy does it," he told himself, his boar still perched on his back as the challenge music ramped up again.

The camera panned to the left as the Bear's boar reached the sloped log nearer to the camera. "Whooa, wait up little piggie!" Britney cried out, running up behind the boar and catching it by the butt as it slid back down the greased slope. "Get...up...there!" she grunted as she tried and failed to push the pig onward, and the camera cut in for a close-up just as the boar farted in her face. She stuck her tongue out and groaned in disgust.

"You got this dudette!" Geoff shouted, the camera cutting to the start of the second leg. He and Justin were standing by open packs, the model taking a harness and helmet out of his with a wary look. "Just put a little more muscle into it and show that pig who's boss!"

The shot cut back to Britney's close-up as she shrugged, then with another strained grunt pushed against the boar's bottom again. She finally managed to shove it up the slope, and the camera followed as it slid past a startled Brick.

Britney reached into her backpack, grabbed a short length of rope, quickly made a lasso, and roped the boar's leg. As the boar slid along the log, Britney was pulled behind it with the rope. She let go of the rope just after the pig slid down onto the grass, leaving a trail of grease behind it as it continued all the way to Geoff.

"Righteous!" the party dude cheered, startling the pig. Already wearing all his gear, he grabbed the boar's leash as it slid past him and he was pulled off to the right while a shocked and helmetless Justin watched.

A cut back to Brick showed him still on his belly, his eyes now focused but wide. "Desperate times, desperate measures!" he said before pushing himself back an inch, extending his arms then launching himself forward along the log.

The camera moved in front to show him rocketing down the greased log with a squealing pig on his back, then moved back to the side as he flew off the end of the main log. The camera followed him through the air a few more feet before he hit the ground with a bellyflop, grunted in pain, then slid another foot or so to Justin. "Here's your cat!" he said woozily.

\

The shot cut to Geoff running along holding the boar piggyback with both arms. It squealed and bit his head, causing the party dude to scream in panic.

The camera pulled back to show him reaching the start of the zipline. He continued screaming as he ran off the cliff, the boar somehow jumping onto the zipline and sliding down it. The camera cut to Geoff still screaming as he fell from the cliff and into the water below.

The pink boar arrived moments later, with Justin walking alongside it. "Okay little guy," he told the pig in a calm tone. "Are you ready to go for a little ride?" The camera cut to a close-up of the smiling pig and then to Justin, his leitmotif playing in the background.

"Good," he said over a close-up of him hooking himself to the zipline. "Then let's go!" he said as he ran and jumped off the cliff, the boar safely in his arms as he slid down the zipline.

\

The scene moved to Chris and Chef, watching the live feed of the challenge and laughing. "Man I _love_ this challenge!" the host said.

"Only because that kid with the cowboy hat fell right?" Chef asked.

"Well duh," Chris admitted. "What can I say?" he shrugged. "Falls just makes things funnier."

\

"He sees the pig!" Jaxon shouted, the shot quickly cutting to him, Dawn, and Sadie at the end of the zipline. "But he doesn't see Geoff."

"What?" Dawn asked in confusion. "What are you talking abou-" she added as her teammate ducked, and the boar jumped off the zipline and over him. "Oof!" she cried as it slammed into her chest, knocking her off-screen to Sadie's shock.

The shot cut to the pig sitting on top of her and squealing frantically while Dawn was on the ground and looking panicked.

"What's going on?" the moonchild asked in a voice matching her face. "I can't understand what you want!"

XXX

"I have a certain way with animals," Dawn told the outhouse. "So I should have had a way to calm down that poor pig. But I couldn't feel _anything_ from it!" she cried. "And come to think of it, I should have known about yesterday's moose stampede too. Something is very wrong..."

XXX

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" Sadie asked with a worried expression as she ran over.

"Get up Dawn," Jaxon said with a gruff impatience as he joined her. "They're in the middle of a _challenge_."

"There!" came the satisfied voice of Justin, the camera panning back to the left to show him walking with his team's boar, the helmet no longer on his hair. "Your turn Sadie," he told the girl, the camera cutting to in front of her as he winked.

"Whatever you say Justin..." Sadie said, a delighted smile forming on her face as the camera moved in front of her.

\

A pause sign appeared over the codependent's face as the footage stopped, and the camera cut to the side to show Chris with his remote still in his hand. "Well this is an interesting development!" he said, looking from the widescreen TV to the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "What's up with Dawn? And what will it mean for Team Maskwak? It's neck and neck and about to get _tubular_. Who's got the pork chops to win? Find out right here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a long-distance shot of the island and the squealing of a pig, the scene soon cutting back to the start of the third leg to show Sadie holding the leash of the Salmon's boar and crouching down in front of it.

"Hey there little guy," she smiled as she patted its head. "Ready for a little trip through some tubes?"

The boar squealed happily, and Sadie ran off with it not far behind.

"I don't know what you want!" Dawn cried, the boar now off of her but still panicking.

"They really don't have time for this," Jaxon said impatiently. "They have to go _now_!"

His shout frightened the pig even more, and it squealed one final time before running towards the tubes. "After that pig!" Jaxon shouted, running after the pig with Dawn not far behind.

"Faster!" Sadie said once her opponents had passed her. The boar grunted in understanding and ran off, forcing Sadie to run to avoid being pulled off her feet with a startled cry and dragging her into the tubes.

The shot cut outward to show the entire maze of pipes, banging and squealing and shouts of pain coming from within them. "I was worried about cruelty to animals during this challenge," Chris said, the camera pulling back and away from the live feed to show Chris and Chef still lounging by the television. "But I'm fine with cruelty to campers."

Chef smiled and nodded in agreement.

\

"Come on, Sadie!" Cameron urged as the shot cut to him and Courtney waiting at the other end of the banging pipes.

"What is taking those two so long?" Courtney added impatiently as the banging got louder.

The brown boar ran out with a squeal, dragging a grease-covered Dawn along behind it with Jaxon emerging not long after. It skidded to a stop in front of Cameron and Courtney, both recoiling in disgust, then looked back at the dazed moonchild as she stood up with a groan. Jaxon sighed heavily and wiped some of the thick, congealed grease off his chest. "It appears she is not great with animals," he said.

"I don't know what happened," Dawn said in a dazed tone. "I just don't know..."

"Yeah, don't care," Courtney said in irritation as the shot cut to her close-up, "just give me the stupid pig."

The boar squealed in protest.

"I think he didn't like what you said about him..." Dawn said, "or her..."

XXX

"So Dawn's freaking out that she apparently _can't_ talk to animals," Courtney complained. "And Jaxon didn't even _do_ anything! How did _I_ get stuck with all the useless teammates?"

XXX

The static took the scene to the start of the tire field, tense challenge music beginning once more as Courtney looked determinedly at the greasy mess that lay before her. She narrowed her eyes as the boar tugged at its leash impatiently.

"Okay, I need to find the trick for this," she told herself. "Sure, I could just run through the tires, but that grease would slow me down." The pig squealed and tugged harder at its leash, pulling Courtney off-balance.

\

Cameron was tossing something small and brown on the ground as the scene cut back to the end of the greasy tube maze, another rattling finally making its way through. "Almost there Sadie!"

His eyes suddenly widened as the crashing reached the end of the pipes, and with a startled yelp he was tackled to the ground by his team's greasy and terrified wild boar. It was dragging Sadie along behind it.

"Eugh! Here you go..." Sadie spluttered, the shot cutting closer as she lifted her head up and let it drop after speaking.

Cameron groaned in pain, got up, and started running to the tires, dropping some more pellets on the ground. The boar ran behind him happily eating them as it came across them.

"Ooh, Cameron's inner animal trainer has come out!" Chris announced over the camp loudspeaker. The bubble boy had reached the tires, and was easily running through them as he dropped more pellets.

XXX

"Pigs love pecans," Cameron explained. "I don't really know why, but if it helps."

XXX

A light chanting began as the scene moved back to Chris and Chef. "And with only _two_ oop-stacles left," the host told the camera, "the Kinosewak are starting to catch up to the Maskwak!" A frustrated groan came from the nearby television, prompting the two men to look over and chuckle. "Speaking of..." Chris said as the camera panned over to the widescreen and zoom-cut to the footage it was showing.

"How did this even _happen_?!" Courtney cried, the shot moving from a close-up of her foot wedged between two tires to her arm sticking down through one. The camera pulled back as she tried to get back up from the tires she was lying on near the end of the oop-stacle, holding the leash loosely.

A happy squealing grunt drew the camera's attention back to the left to show Cameron and his boar running swiftly along the tires near the middle of the leg.

"C'mon, Cameron, you can do it!" Katie called out encouragingly as the shot cut to her.

Dave looked warily from his opponent back to Courtney. "Could you maybe hurry it up a little?"

"What did you _think_ I was doing?" Courtney replied snippily from off-screen.

"I don't think you should have said that," Katie pointed out to Dave.

"I noticed," the germaphobe pointed out in a snippy tone of his own.

Katie glared at him, but her eyes widened in surprise when Cameron showed up and dropped some pecans in the wheelbarrow. The boar squealed happily and jumped inside.

"Thanks Cam!" Katie called out as she drove the wheelbarrow off-screen.

"And the Kinosewak take the lead!" Chris announced.

It was then that Courtney finally appeared, her appendages thoroughly coated in grease. "Here," she spat, "take the stupid thing."

She held out the leash, and the music trilled tensely as the camera cut in closer and panned down along its greasy length. Dave shuddered.

"It looks pretty dirty," he pointed out in near panic.

"Just take it!" Courtney reiterated, holding the leash closer to his face as he backed away slightly.

"But, but..." Dave tried again.

XXX

"I'll be fine!" Dave told the outhouse camera, clenching his fists tightly. "I mean, nobody said it was dirty, _germy_ , grease, right?" he said with forced hope.

"I forgot to mention," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, "that today's grease is brought to you from the grease trap of Chef's restaurant!"

Dave groaned in disgust.

XXX

The static cut to Dave cringing and near-crying as he ran along with his team's boar. He slipped and fell face-first into the grease and his wheelbarrow slowed to a stop... until he shot up and looked down at himself and let out an impressive yell before tearing through the grease at near impossible speeds. The background faded into a blur.

He soon passed Katie, startling both her and the boar.

"Oh my gosh, I need to hurry!" Katie said as she gasped and started running. Like Dave, she tripped and fell. Unlike Dave, she was able to get up and running again before getting too far behind.

The music turned tense as the camera quick-panned back to the right, showing Dave running right past the edge of the oop-stacle and into a nearby rock where B was standing. He was finally stopped by said rock and the boar was launched out of the wheelbarrow and into a shocked B before he had time to react.

"HAND SANITIZER!" Dave shouted in hysteria, looking around with wide eyes. "I NEED HAND SANITZER! AND SANDPAPER FOR SCRUBBING!"

"Dave!" Britney yelled as she ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders. "Look at me and take slow deep breaths," she instructed over a light romantic tune.

The camera cut to a close-up of his face as his panicked breathing slowly got more relaxed and normal before he smiled. Britney was shown in a close-up of her own, smiling with a light blush on her cheeks.

XXX

"Wow," Dave said, clearly impressed. "Usually I freak out _way_ longer, but Britney has a surprisingly calming effect on me."

XXX

"I have a bit of a crush on Dave," Britney admitted shyly. "Can you blame me? He's so cute and I think the word is 'dorky'. It's like they custom built him just for me!"

XXX

The music turned tense again as the scene moved to Izzy, watching nervously as the remaining six members of the Bears ran past her. "Faster Katie!" she called out to her own teammate.

The footage immediately skipped ahead to her reaching Izzy, the wildcard picking the boar up out of the wheelbarrow and running off.

"Well, gotta go!" Izzy said excitedly, causing Katie to bite her lip in worry.

\

A flash took the scene to the final oop-stacle, B currently about halfway up the wall with the boar slung over his shoulder. His teammates were gathered off to the side, watching excitedly with each step he climbed.

"Woo! You can do it, dude!" Geoff cheered.

"Go B!" Dawn chimed in, pumping a fist in the air.

The shot cut in closer to B as he narrowed his eyes, trying to find his next foothold only to slip on the grease. He finally got a grip with his foot and pushed himself upward a little more.

"Just keep doing it like that, and we'll win!" Courtney told him from off-screen as he climbed another couple steps.

The music's tension quickly ramped up as the shot moved to Dave and Britney, the germaphobe looking to the left and noticing something that made his eyes go wide. "Look out!" he turned and called out to his teammate. "Izzy's coming!"

Britney gasped in shock before the camera panned back to B.

B continued to climb, his eyes locked on the top of the wall. The shot moved back to ground-level as Izzy ran past the loitering Bears.

The camera pulled back as he grabbed the rope on the left half of the wall and started climbing, her boar slung over her shoulder much like B's. "Sorry," she said with a smirk, the shot cutting in for a close-up as she rapidly started climbing, "but I've got like a _lot_ of time training with the RCMP."

B smirked as the camera panned up to him. The camera zoomed out again to show both campers nearing the top of the wall with B in an unquestionable lead... that Izzy was rapidly diminishing. Just as the two were neck-and-neck, the shot cut to a close-up of the top of the wall from the other side as Izzy hauled herself up onto it with the boar still on her shoulder. She straddled the top for just a second, then grabbed a nearby ladder and slid down as B and his team's boar poked their heads over the wall.

"This just in," Chris said as the shot cut to him and Chef standing on the far side of the wall with the ladder in view. Izzy landed on the ground with a smile on her face, and set the Salmon's boar on the ground. "Genius beat by weirdo! The Pimâpotew Kinosewak win!"

"That is _so_ awesome!" Izzy cheered, her teammates rushing over to join her in celebration as the music turned victorious.

"Oh my gosh Izzy," Sadie gushed. "That was so amazing!"

"Like _really_ amazing," Katie added.

"And tonight's winner's meal is provided by," the host continued as the shot cut to him and his assistant, the large man holding a red-and-white cardboard bucket with a chicken drawn on the side. "Jimmy's Beaks 'n' Feet!" he said as a trendy theme started playing, the scene moving to the empty, greasy bucket against an orange-and-reddish background. Floating around the bucket were a pair of disembodied chicken beaks and a pair of similar feet. "Our chickens walk the walk, talk the talk, then, we put 'em in the fryer," Chris said as the chicken parts circled the bucket a few times, then flew into it.

The shot cut back to the normal footage as Chef tossed the bucket of fried chicken parts to the winner, and Chris grinned. "Now _that's_ amazing," he said in an ultra-close close-up.

A victorious horn was blown as the Salmons ran past the camera, in front of the members of the Confused Bears waiting at the start of the greasy wall. Courtney was still covered in varying amounts of grease, and the team watched sadly as their opponents ran by.

The attention of all six was diverted as B and their team's boar came sliding back down the wall. The genius hung his head in disappointment as he set the boar down on the ground.

\

"Alright platoon, good work out there today," Brick said cheerfully as the scene cut to their hangar, slightly more built than it had been this morning. The camera panned down to show the Floating Salmons walking single-file back towards it with Izzy standing proudly in front with the bucket of fried chicken parts they'd won, then cut in close to her as she smiled.

"Heck yeah we did!" she said. "Now let's eat this chicken so we can fix our shelter," she added, giving the bucket a pat.

"Sounds good to me," Justin said, the others chiming in with their agreement.

\

The scene flashed to the Confused Bears' treefort, a dull melody playing as the seven campers trudged towards it.

"I can't believe I got...greasy...for nothing!" Dave said in shock and horror as he stared at his hands.

"It's not for nothing," Britney told him, walking between him and Geoff. "We all tried our best, it just wasn't good enough this time."

The camera panned back past Dave to show Courtney snorting in the middle of their group. "Yeah right," she said, looking back over her shoulder to glare at Dawn, Jaxon, and B.

"I still don't know what happened," Dawn said hopelessly.

"He knew letting her do that part of the challenge was a bad idea," Jaxon chimed in.

Courtney stopped in her tracks and turned around and a few deep notes played in the background. "Wait," the the prep said lowly, "are you telling me that you didn't even _help_ her when she was blowing our lead?"

"Dawn said she could handle it," Jaxon shrugged. "Who was he to question it?"

The shot cut outward as Chris' voice suddenly rang through the air. "Waneyihtam Maskwak! Please head for the elimination campfire area!" he announced as the music became tense. "Cannon needs num-num!" he finished with a laugh, the shot cutting to the seven campers exchanging worried and wary looks.

\

The deep, tense opening of the elimination theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the entire island, the moon high overhead once more and the fires of the ceremony glowing over the water from the left-side peninsula.

"Hey, why so glum?" Chris asked, the scene moving to the campfire pit to show all seven members of the Confused Bears already assembled. "You tried your best, and it was horrible. Now," he said, a few deep notes being struck as the camera panned over to him. "Let's see who you all blamed for your collective failure." Chef walked over from the right as he spoke, carrying the tray of marshmallows.

XXX

"Both Dawn and Jaxon are pretty weird," Dave told the outhouse, "but since Dawn actually _tried_ to help..."

XXX

"I think it's obvious who we're voting out tonight," Courtney said.

XXX

B crossed his arms and shook his head disapprovingly.

XXX

"Geoff," Chris called out from off-camera as the music trilled ominously, the shot focused on the campers sitting on the left as the party dude caught his marshmallow. "Courtney," next was the preppy girl sitting in the front row, "Dave, and Britney. You're safe from elimination." The two sitting next to Geoff in the back row caught their marshmallows with wide smiles, leaving Jaxon – in the front row with Courtney, his hands on his knees – to stiffen anxiously.

The camera panned over to the final three campers sitting along the front row. "Which leaves Jaxon the weirdo," the boy in question scowled, "Dawn the nature girl," the moonchild hung her head in shame, "and B the slow climber." The genius stiffened in fear. "The next marshmallow goes to...B," Chris said, the marshmallow sailing through the air into the hands of it's relieved recipient while the remaining two widened their eyes.

"And the irritating oddball going home _tonight_ is...," Chris said as the music picked up. The shot cut to a close-up of Dawn, then to one of Jaxon.

Chris picked up the final marshmallow and smirked. " _Jaxon_ ," he announced, tossing the treat at Dawn.

The Artist gasped, then sighed. "He supposes it had to happen eventually. Will the hero at least return for a sequel?" Chef's arm grabbed him and started dragging him away.

"Don't call us," the host answered as the camera zoomed out to show the boy being drug to the Canon of Shame as his former team watched. "We'll call you."

\

The somber elimination theme started as the scene skipped ahead to show Jaxon loaded into the Cannon of Shame. He sighed melodramatically.

"Check it out Chef," Chris said to his assistant with an impish smile. "This, is a metaphor for how another contestant's chance at the million went up in smoke." He pressed the button on his remote, firing Jaxon into the night.

"So far," Chris said as the capstone theme began to play, "we've lost a Jersey girl and an artist. Two key players in a game I never, _ever_ want to play. Who's next in the boom-boom machine? Only time will tell. On Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I need to explain the title. This episode was named after something Sugar said in canon... and Sugar's not here. But since nothing anybody said really fit the wackiness of the canon title, I decided to use a quote for B. I hope you guys found it as funny as I did.

Anyway, today we say goodbye to Jaxon. Nothing against him, he just had the least amount of possible plot. Pairing him with Dawn gave me a legitimate reason to boot him since I kept dropping all the planned scenes where he got on everyone's nerves.

Speaking of plots, I hope you like Dawn's. I knew that once she was on this season I had to do something about the animals all being fake with her. So she can't 'read' the animals here like she expected and is going to take it hard. I'll still keep her other 'powers' though.

And one of the (possible) pairings has been revealed. Courtney/Brick or Brickney... maybe Courk. Anyway, I thought their similarities would work nicely together and their differences are surprisingly compatible as well. Anyway whether it floats or sinks is up to you. I mean, I'll write the same scenes either way but how it ends is what you guys are choosing.

Not much to say about the challenge though.

And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon


	3. Putting the End in Friendship

**Author's Note:** I am so sorry this is so late. The previous week has been... trying. But I have all next week off, so expect two chapters. One on Monday and one on Thursday. And sorry it's shorter than normal. I never can drag out these types of challenges normally.

 **ANNOUNCEMENT:** And the reason I'm not calling Geoff and Brody The Surfer Dudes is because that name is being taken by two guys from _another_ Fresh TV show. That's right, Reef and Broseph are going to be competing as The surfer Dudes in the Ridonculous Race.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ As you've no doubt been able to tell, I'm really bad at coming up with original names. I mean the Danger Island Teams are The Jade Dragons and The Ruby Warriors. Honestly, I can't see Izzy with anyone in this cast. You'll get some confirmation on if Dave likes Britney this chapter. Just think, Redemption is going to have quite the collection of weirdos. Really? I've never seen the Brick/Courtney ship. Would you mind telling me the name of the story?

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ I wouldn't call what Dawn has plot armor, she just had more than Jaxon. Glad you like the idea of Brick/Courtney. And I'm sorry, but I just don't see myself shipping Dott.

 _ **Guest #1:**_ Jaxon can be funny in his own way. Maybe if I had less comedic relief this season he could have made it farther. Glad you like the title though. I honestly couldn't think of anything else. Well I mean Brick's got the ruggedness of two of the guys Courtney fell for and the kindness of the other. Even though Brick's is genuine, it made sense to me. Dawn's connection with nature wasn't really something I could overlook this season. But it doesn't necessarily mean she has to make to _that_ episode.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Izzy's interactions first chapter were really meant to highlight her flightiness more than anything else. Well I wasn't thinking that much into the Brick/Courtney ship. Like I said to a guest reviewer, Brick's got the ruggedness of two of the guys Courtney fell for and the kindness of the other. Brick's is just genuine. _I_ forgot about Dawn's fear of robots from the Shuffledverse, too. I was thinking more she's expecting to understand the animals but can't and doesn't know why. Eh, not everyone will be missed. I'm sure Jaxon understands.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ The site wouldn't let me do "..." it counted as an empty title. How Brick/Courtney ends depends on erception to them over the season. I have to admit, I was really excited to see Dawn in this cast because it lets me explore her trying to figure out what happened to her animal communication powers. Cameron's definitely noticing something, that much I can say. I had planned on Dave letting loose with Jaxon's speech patterns, but I couldn't find a place to put it, Dawn's revelations, and Dave's interactions with Britney. He just fell through the cracks in more ways than one. I have no intention on repeating the clusterfuck that was Skave. But yes Geoff will be in an odd friendship with Dave like Shawn was in canon. I know to me one of the biggest missed oppurtunities of the Shuffledverse was a lack of interaction between Dave and Owen. As for the rest, wait and see.

 _ **WeirdAlFan101:**_ Thanks, and you assume correctly.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks. Those are the three plots I've looked forward to writing the most. Actually I'm not sure if I'm going to have Izzy do the third person bit this time. But she definitely takes the spot for resident weirdo.

 _ **Johnathen:**_ Don't worry, I planned on sinking Dawn/B long before I posted the first chapter.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ I noticed the name change. A tribute to our recently fallen legend? There was no way I was getting rid of Dawn this early. That's exactly what I had in mind when I chose Courtrick as a potential couple. I've decided to go with that as a name. I hated the way Skave went down in canon. You wanna show that sometimes couples don't work out? First of all this is a cartoon, it doesn't have to be realistic. And second, they could've easily done it in a way that didn't make people hate both of them.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Brick and Courtney are no weirder than some of the canon pairings.

 _ **TheChrisanthemum:**_ Well half the fun of guessing is being wrong. I like things to end on a happy note for characters, read into that what you will. I'm convinced there's a way to have Courtney her canon self and still be likable. That is my goal for her this season.

 _ **InsertDotJpeg:**_ Well, I hoping this season is epic.

 _ **Guest #2:**_ Thanks. You have some great idea, but the Race has already been planned out. I will say you've guessed something correctly. But I'm not saying what...

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Britney, Courtney, Dave, Dawn, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Cameron, Izzy, Justin, Katie, Sadie

Time for some evil balloons, and I'm talking about the one from Gumball

* * *

 **Episode 03: Putting the "End" in Friendship**

"Last time, on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!" Chris said, launching straight into the recap montage with a clip of Brick and Britney at the starting line of the previous challenge, the globetrotter quickly losing hold of her boar and chasing after it. "The teams ran a super-slippery race," Brick was shown slipping and falling as he tried to climb up the greased logs, then Justin lifting up their team's boar as he went down the zipline, "while holding some _very_ rare pork!"

"Dawn learned that she can't talk to animals," the host said as the moonchild was shown panicking with her team's boar on her chest, " _shock_ er. "And because Izzy won it for the Pimâpotew Kinosewak," the end of the challenge was shown in the next challenge, "Waneyihtam Maskwak decided to send Jaxon home," he finished over Dawn getting the final marshmallow.

The montage ended there, the scene flashing to the smiling host standing by a TV that showed the final shot of Jaxon blasting off. "Today's challenge is treacherous, deadly," Chris told the camera, "and unless you're doing it, _hilarious_!" He laughed. "Who will survive to play another day? And who will be sent home via Giant Cannon Airlines?" He pointed a thumb at the television, still displaying the Cannon of Shame. "Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

The episode opened with a lilting tune as the scene faded into Justin laying on the ground with his head propped up by a rock and his arms behind his head and a smile on his face.

Then the distant and unmistakable squealing of Katie and Sadie rose up, jilting the music and causing the model to scrunch his face up in aggravation. He sighed in resignation and then plastered on another, much less genuine, smile as the two girls got closer. "Good morning ladies," he said flirtatiously

The shot pulled back to show the two girls each holding a handful of berries. "Good morning Justin!" they chimed together. "We got you some breakfast," Katie added.

"You girls are too sweet," Justin told them, barely masked an eye twitch as the two began squealing again.

XXX

"Okay," Justin said with a heavy sigh. "I know I said I was gonna use the girls to get me to the end, but I didn't expect them to be so annoying! For the past three days it's been nothing but 'Hi Justin,' 'Nice shirt Justin,' 'Nice abs Justin,' 'I bet our babies would look really cute Justin.'"

"And that's not even counting all the squealing! I swear, I'm gonna frickin' lose it if I don't ditch them soon."

XXX

The static cut to the three of them walking through the woods, presumably to their shelter. "Y'know girls, I'm really glad we were put on the same team," Justind said idly at the right of the group.

"I'm really glad too," Katie said dreamily standing in between her best friend and the model.

"I'm really _really_ glad!" Sadie chimed in, running around to Justin's other side. Katie shot her a glare, but it was either unnoticed or ignored.

"I don't think you get what I mean," Justin said, acting somewhat nervous. "To be on the same team as the girl you..." he sighed, "have a crush on."

Katie and Sadie's eyes widened and they stopped moving.

"Maybe you do know," he continued, still walking forward. "I _have_ been dropping hints ever since I got here." With that, he continued walking off screen.

"Oh my gosh Sadie," Katie said once he'd left. "Can you believe it?"

"I know," Sadie answered.

"Justin has a crush on me!" both girls said at the same time with their eyes closed. A flat note played as the two opened their eyes to glare at each other. "Um excuse me?" they asked. "What do you mean he likes _you_?"

"Well no offense Sadie," Katie said. "I mean you're really cute, but I'm just prettier and tend to attract more guys than you."

Sadie gasped indignantly. "I can't believe you said that."

"It's true," Katie said, crossing her arms smugly. "Everyone on the team thinks so."

"Well at least I don't look like a stick with clothes you... you.. _tanorexic_!"

Katie gasped. "That is it!" she yelled. "We are _so_ splitting up as BFFFL's!"

"Fine!" Sadie shouted.

"Double fine!"

\

A slower, more plodding tune began as the scene flashed to five Bears happily eating as Britney arrived with a bucket in hand, earning the attention of her teammates.

"I got freshwater from the stream!" she announced as the shot moved in closer to her. "Don't wanna get dehydrated during the challenge!"

"Awesome!" Dave said, pushing past Courtney and B to run over to her side. "So great, you are so great. I saved some berries for you!" he told her with a smile, holding out a hand full of blueberries.

"Thanks Dave," Britney said as Courtney rolled her eyes.

XXX

"Dave was already pretty useless," Courtney complained. "But now he's distracting on of the actually _good_ players on the team." She sighed. "I need to make sure he and Britney don't become a thing."

XXX

"Well, _I_ brought enough fruit for all of us," Courtney pointed out as she walked over to Dave and Britney before separating them, "so that wasn't really necessary."

"Uhh...thanks?" Dave replied, looking at her in confusion.

"You're welcome!" the prep replied without missing a beat or losing her false enthusiasm. "And Britney, don't think your efforts went unnoticed either."

Britney smiled at her. "Thanks. Getting water was the least I could do. Great job foraging, by the way. I guess my tips came in handy."

"Anything to help the team," Courtney smiled. "But I think we'd do better if you and I stuck to foraging and someone _else_ ," she shot a quick glance at Dave, "got the water."

"That's not a good idea," the globetrotter frowned. "What if we get voted off? Then the team wouldn't have a way to get food. How about we trade off so I can give everyone survival tips?"

"I call first!" Dave quickly and enthusiastically added. "Foraging! I'll totally go with you!" He rubbed his arm awkwardly as a soft, light-hearted tune began to play and Courtney narrowed her eyes.

"Guess what, campers! Iiiiiit's challenge time!" Chris suddenly announced over the island's loudspeakers, the Bears furrowing their brows and heading outside. The shot cut to one of the loudspeakers tied to a nearby tree as the host added "All butts to the meeting area in five!"

The shot cut to Geoff standing up at the front of the Bears' group. "You heard him, dudes, let's go!" he told his teammates before running off. B, Dave, and Britney quickly followed suit, but as Courtney prepared to do the same the camera cut in close to show her pausing and looking back.

"Something on your mind?" she asked, the camera shifting to show Dawn peering at her.

"Your plan won't work," the moonchild told her.

"What plan?"

"To break up Dave and Britney. It won't work." With that she left, leaving Courtney to shudder before following along.

\

A flash took the scene to the Salmons walking through the woods together, Katie jogging off ahead.

"What's wrong with her?" Brick asked aloud from the front of the group.

"Maybe she's just really excited to see what the challenge is about?" Izzy suggested as the camera panned to the back.

"Who cares what _she_ thinks?" Sadie said bitterly

Cameron gave her a strange look over his shoulder. "Uh Sadie? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I hate seeing you so upset," Justin added as the shot moved back to the right.

Sadie smiled. "Thanks Justin, but Katie's just being a baby right now."

Unseen by all his teammates except Cameron, Justin smirked.

\

The music turned slightly tense as the scene flashed to Chris standing next to a large crate filled with what looked like brightly-colored water balloons. He was making marks on a clipboard, but looked up and back when Katie ran up to him.

"Chris," the hot-blooded girl began with urgency, "I really need to talk to you." The host raised an eyebrow at her, but remained silent. "Can I swap teams?"

"All teams are final," Chris answered, looking back at his clipboard.

"Pretty please?" Katie continued, clasping her hands together and holding them in front of her face. "I can't stand being on a team with Sadie another _minute_!"

"Yeah, no," Chris told her with a shake of his head. "This is called Total _Drama_. I don't know what's causing your fight, and I don't particularly care. But, whatever it is, it's sure to be more interesting than everybody getting along."

Katie frowned as a flat note played. "But-"

Chris held up a hand to stop her. "No more buts. No team swaps, end of story."

XXX

"Great," Katie griped. "I'm stuck with Little Miss Boyfriend Stealer."

XXX

The static cut away to reveal that all twelve campers had arrived, their backs to the camera as they faced Chris, Chef, and the crate of balloons.

"Gather 'round, victims!" the host began. "Today's game is called...' _Doom Balloons_ '!" he announced dramatically, holding up a sloshing blue balloon.

"Doom balloons?" Courtney repeated skeptically as the camera cut behind Chris's head.

The shot rotated a few inches to the left to show the Salmons. "Well, that doesn't sound too bad..." Sadie said hesitantly.

"That's cause I haven't finished yet," Chris told her with a quick chuckle, the shot moving back in front of him as he tossed his balloon back onto the pile. "You'll have ten seconds to collect a bunch of balloons that are filled with...who knows what," he explained as the camera began to slowly zoom into the pile. "Talc, paint, itching powder," the camera switched to a faster pan across the increasingly worried and/or horrified faces of the campers, "bees, spiders, bird poop...it's always a surprise!" he finished with a laugh as the shot stopped once more on the Bears.

"Bummer dude," Geoff said sadly.

"Thanks, that's what I was going for," Chris said with a proud smile as the focus cut back to him. "If you're hit with any balloon contents, you're out," he continued sternly. "It doesn't matter if the balloons are thrown, dropped, launched, kicked, or sent by courier. Last player standing," he smirked and took out a whistle, "wins it for their team."

He blew the whistle. "Get your balloons, people!" he yelled, blowing the whistle a few more times in quick succession as the shot cut to the campers rushing into action. The sounds of pushing and arguing filled the air as Chris kept track of the time on his watch, and when he and the camera looked back to the crate Dave, Britney, and Geoff were picking up the last few balloons.

They soon ran off into the woods, and the camera followed them as they passed Chris and Chef. "The hunting doesn't start until you hear the airhorn!" he announced, pulling out his airhorn.

XXX

"Alright, my kind of challenge!" Brick confessed excitedly. "Just two platoons in all-out balloon warfare," he clenched his fist. "May the best military w-"

He was cut off by the sound of an airhorn. "Oh, better get out to the battlefield!" he told the camera.

XXX

A low yet ominous melody began to play as the scene moved to Cameron, now walking through the woods with a few balloons cradled in her arms. He paused at a sudden rustling sound, and the camera cut in closer as he stood up flush against the nearest large tree. He slowly looked around behind it, and the shot cut first to his eyes widening, and then to what she was seeing.

Justin was alone in a small clearing, a small pile of balloons on the ground while he relaxed against a rock.

The shot cut back to Cameron as she moved back behind the tree he'd taken cover against, and rubbed his chin.

XXX

"Maybe I'm paranoid," Cameron suggested. "But I can't help but think Justin had something to do with whatever's going on between Katie and Sadie."

XXX

The static took the focus to Justin as he idly relaxed, only to perk up when he heard Cameron call out "Hey Justin!"

Justin stood up, dusted the dirt off his clothes and raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing?" Cameron asked.

"I figured I sit here and wait for one of the others to find me, then distract them long enough to take them out," Justin replied, motioning to the path in front of them as, suddenly and inexplicably, an entire tree shot down into the ground behind them. "What about you little man?"

Cameron scowled at him. "I was looking for something to make a blow dart out of," the bubble-boy explained.

"Come again?" Justin asked.

"So I can pop the other team's balloons before they throw them," Cameron finished.

"Ah," Justin said understandingly as he tapped the side of his head. "Pretty smart."

XXX

"Cameron's got some serious brains," the model told the confessional. "And _my_ brain's telling me that that's not a good thing for me. I should probably do something about him before it's too late."

XXX

A hollow noise played as the scene moved to Britney walking alone through the forest, the camera cutting in close as she heard a twig snap behind her. She raised an eyebrow and a balloon, and a sharp note played as the shot moved back, revealing Dave standing behind her. "No!" he cried, raising his arms and leg defensively.

"Oh, hi Dave," Britney smiled, lowering her balloon.

"Hey, Britney," Dave said, "I was thinking. Maybe we could...team up, y'know?" The camera moved from behind the globetrotter to behind her teammate. "Watch each other's back?

Britney smiled wider and blushed.

XXX

"Dave's a nice guy," Britney told the outhouse camera with a soft smile, "and he's _so_ adorable. But I have a bad habbit of getting obsessed with guys I like," she explained more seriously and somberly. "It takes so much effort to not constantly think about his eyes," a faint blush started forming on her cheeks, "or that hair...or his smile...," she said, holding her head as she looked dreamily to the side.

"Uh...," she suddenly said, the blush disappearing, "what was I talking about? Oh! Right! I need to take things slow!"

XXX

"Iiiii...think I'll go it alone," Britney reluctantly told Dave, a few deep notes playing in the background. "I mean. I _want_ to be with you- _Go_ with you. I want to go with you. But. It's just...easier to be silent when you're by yourself."

"Are you saying you find talking to me just...too...tempting?" Dave asked with a sly smirk.

Britney swooned. "Umm, yes. That's exactly what I mean."

XXX

"It's not like I'm falling for her," Dave told the outhouse camera. "I mean sure, yes, she's really cute, and totally awesome at anything, and everything...," he gushed, growing more and more amorous by the second, "and she has those deep eyes, that silky hair...what was I saying?" he asked as his eyes suddenly popped open. "Oh, right," he said at the memory. "Yeah, I'm falling for her," he admitted with a shrug.

XXX

"Going it alone might work _sometimes_ ," Dave said slyly as the scene returned to him and Britney, "but I feel that-"

A deep and ominous tune began as Britney tensed up, then shushed Dave. She quickly looked from side to side as the music built up, and the shot cut to Justin and Cameron peering through a bush with smirks on their faces. The bubble boy raised up what looked like a hollow piece of reed and took a deep breath, then the camera cut to Britney shoving Dave to the ground. "Get down!" she warned in a whisper.

She raised one of her balloons and looked around again, then the shot cut to Cameron blowing a few small pebbles out of the reed one after the other. Each hit one of the Britney's balloons, which promptly burst to reveal a swarm of bees within.

"Beeeees!" Britney cried out, holding her head in panic before running away from the buzzing swarm.

"Britney! Wait up!" Dave exclaimed, popping back up into view after she'd ran off. He promptly gave chase.

The shot cut to Justin and Cameron standing up out of the bushes. "Great plan Cam!" the model congratulated as the two shook hands.

\

A beep sounded as the scene cut to Chris, paused footage of the two Salmon boys on the widescreen next to him. "Justin and Cameron are _really_ enjoying the game," the host told the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "Obviously, they doesn't know what surprises are waiting in _their_ balloons," he added with a laugh, putting away his remote. "Stay tuned for more mayhem when we return. To Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with the opening of a tense tune, the camera following a rustling behind some shrubs until Brick crept out into the open. "Alright," he whispered to himself as the shot cut in closer, "no sign of the enemy out front. Better start watching out behind me...," he said, turning around and backing up in the direction he'd been going.

A pan to the right showed Courtney warily backing out of the bushes from the opposite direction, and the music trilled ominously. The camera zoomed outward just enough to show them both unwittingly drawing closer and closer, and the music spiked dramatically when they finally bumped into each other.

Both teens gasped, whirled around, and raised one of the many balloons they were carrying. Then they froze the moment they saw each other.

"Hmph," Courtney sniffed, "it's just you."

"Yes indeed," Brick replied. "Here we are. Enemies."

"Yeah," the prep said aggressively. "Enemies."

The camera cut outward a little bit as both tensed up as if to throw...only to stay still and silent for a few more seconds.

"What's the matter?" Courtney asked as the shot cut back to her close-up. "Don't wanna hit a lady?"

"Not at all," Brick replied, the camera moving to him. "Just waiting for you to make the first move so I can dodge it and counterattack!"

"Yeah, well...me too!" the prep said.

The shot cut outward again as they stared each other down for a few more seconds.

"Well then," the cadet said, "it seems we're at an impasse!"

"Seems so!" Courtney said. "Guess we might as well leave and take out somebody else!"

"I suppose we don't have much choice in the matter!" Brick agreed, and the two began to back up slowly without breaking eye contact or lowering their balloons. "Strategic withdrawal it is!"

"Yeah!" Courtney said just before both stepped off-screen.

XXX

"I did _not_ let Brick distract me," the prep aggressively told the outhouse camera. "I just...wanted to go pick off the weaker members of his team first."

XXX

"Courtney is a formidable opponent," Brick told the camera, his chest puffed up for a moment before adding "maybe even more than I thought! After all, not just anyone can so easily force a highly-trained cadet like myself to strategically withdraw from the battlefield!"

XXX

The scene moved to a close-up of Britney's arm as she used a seashell to scrape away the stingers that riddled it.

"Britney!" Dave said, the shot cutting outward as he ran past the tree Britney was sitting against with his balloons in his arms. He stopped as he saw her, first smiling and then cringing. "Yikes. They _really_ got you good!" he said over a close-up of the globetrotter removing her final few stingers, then glaring at him.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized. "But hey, it coulda been a lot-" the sound of someone standing up came from off-screen- "woryaeryu!" he stammered in shock.

"It was," Britney said as the camera cut back to her, turned around and pointing at the large amount of stingers still stuck in her back.

"Wowzers," Dave said. "Sorry I got you knocked outta the game, Britney!" he told her as she clenched her eyes shut and pulled a stinger out with her fingers. "And I'm sorry the bees went after you. I mean I'm _glad_ , but-"

"You're _glad_?" Britney asked in a broken voice, sagging sadly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Because I'm allergic to bee stings!" Dave quickly explained. "And tomatoes...wheat...and peanuts," he listed off thoughtfully. "Flowers, mountain lion dander, and most fruit-flavored gums."

"Really?" Britney asked in confusion.

"Well I've never been tested for any of it," he admitted with an odd smile, "but I've always _suspected_. It's better to err on the side of caution when dealing with-"

"Dave!" Britney said, grabbing his arm to cut him off before letting go again. "You _have_ to warn the others that the Kinosewak are using our own balloons against us!" She grabbed his shoulders, earning a small smile from Dave. "I am not going to spend another night listening to Courtney complain about us losing." She let go of him again. "We _have_ to win this one, Dave!"

"You got it, Britney!" he told her enthusiastically. "I am _on_ it!" The shot zoomed out as he ran off to the left with a smile on his face.

Britney turned to watch him leave, before raising a hand and calling out a warning. "Tree!"

The sound of a collision and a pained "Oww..." from Dave immediately followed.

\

A flash took the scene to Sadie, walking by herself through the forest carrying a load of balloons. The camera cut in closer as she sighed sadly. "I know I said I should be mad at Katie...," she told herself, "but right now all I can think is how much I miss her."

She stopped walking, and looked around with a rather blank expression. "Life was just always more _fun_ when we're together," she said to herself as she resumed walking. "Don't you think so, Katie?" she asked with a happy smile as she looked to her side.

A dull note played as the shot cut outward, showing once again that Sadie was all alone. She seemed to sag. "Oh yeah, you're mad at me..." Sadie stopped and sighed again. "I guess all I can do right now is hope for the best," she said with an almost grim expression as she looked forward again and resumed walking.

\

Another flash moved the focus to Katie, a light and methodical tune playing as she crept silently along a patch of underbrush with a balloon raised and ready to throw. The shot cut to her tiptoeing feet, then to her darting eyes, and then back outward as she suddenly spotted a bush rustling off to the right.

With a fierce battle cry she charged forward, the camera following alongside her as the music spiked dramatically. As she reached the bush Geoff rose out of it, yelling and ready to throw a balloon as well.

Katie threw her balloon at the party dude and his chest was splattered with red and yellow.

"Ketchup and mustard?" Geoff asked in confusion. "Righteous. Good hit Katie," he told his opponent as he tipped his hat to her.

"Oh, thanks," Katie said with a hint of a blush.

"Well guess I'm heading back to the shelter," Geoff replied from off-screen, prompting a dopey grin to form on Katie's face as the background turned pink and a lovesick song played. "Catch you later."

The shot cut back to hotblooded girl's dopey grin, and then outward to show Geoff walking away.

XXX

"Okay," Katie gushed. "Sadie can _totally_ have Justin. I just found someone even hotter!"

XXX

The scene cut to Dave, looking back over his shoulder as he ran through the woods. He stopped to rest against a tree, then looked up and shouted in surprise when he heard Dawn ask "Did you find anyone from Kinosewak?"

"No, not really," Dave answered as the shot moved to his close-up, a hand on his chest and his breathing heavy. "I mean, not since Britney got hit, anyway. But even then-"

Dawn cocked her head curiously. "Britney was taken out?"

"That's...what I said...," Dave said, nervously backing up an inch.

She leaned in closer to him and peered at him. "I take it you had something to do with it?"

"W-well, I mean," Dave stammered, "they burst her balloons while she was holding them. We never even saw who did it! Just...one minute we were talking," he motioned to a spot in front of him with both hands, "then she's shoving me to the ground," he moved his hands a little to the left, "and then there's bees everywhere!" he threw his hands up wildly.

A few deep notes played as the shot cut outward to show Dawn smiling at Dave. "So in other words," she said, "you distracted her."

Dave laughed awkwardly. "...I guess I did..."

XXX

"Dave and Britney are more compatible than they realize," Dawn told the outhouse. "Their auras are practically a two-piece puzzle!"

XXX

"Is it just me," Dave asked the confessional, "or is Dawn really creepy?"

XXX

"So what are you doing anyway?" Dave asked as the static cut back to him and Dawn.

"Helping B," she replied as the camera panned to the side to show the genius pulling back a huge rubber band stretched across two trees like a giant slingshot. He smiled and waved at his teammates, then narrowed his eyes at something off screen.

The camera cut to Cameron and Izzy approaching just before the balloons that B was holding flew at them and hit them, covering her in brown sludge and him in a white powder. Izzy promptly cringed and shuddered in disgust and Cameron just sneezed.

The shot panned back to the right to show Dave and Dawn smiling admirably at their teammate. "Great shot B," he told the genius.

B opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then scowled and pushed Dave into a nearby bush. A second later, Brick appeared and threw a balloon at him, hitting B in the side with some sort of thick, pink liquid.

\

An exciting challenge theme began to play as the shot flashed to show Courtney running through the woods with a balloon at the ready.

"Just do yourself a favor," she said with an intense edge in her voice, "and give up!"

The camera panned ahead to show that she was chasing Sadie and quickly gaining ground. "I don't want to!"

The camera cut to a rock in the path the girls were running through, and a green loafer tripped on it. The shot cut outward to show Courtney flaining and screaming as she fell forward, the balloon she'd readied to shoot at Sadie flying up into the air and then back down onto her.

She groaned, and the camera moved above him to show her lying on his back, his face covered in a green slime. She opened her eyes, and screamed. "GREEN JELLY!"

Sadie had to drop her balloons and jump out of the way to avoid being run over by the panicking prep.

\

"Okay, one balloon left," Dave whispered to himself as the scene cut back to a close-up of him creeping through the woods, clutching his last weapon and looking around anxiously. "I-"

A branch snapped, Dave stiffened, and the camera pulled back. "Who's there?" he asked, and the intense challenge music resumed.

"Just the guy who's taking you out," Brick declared, standing up out of a bush and pelting Dave with a balloon. It burst into a cloud of pale gray powder, causing Dave to cough.

"What the-?" was all he could say before confusion before confusion gave way to frantic scratching oh his head and armpit and lower back.

XXX

"Itching powder?!" Dave asked the outhouse camera in a mild panic, still covered with the stuff and scratching his armpit. "Really?! I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to this!" he declared, switching to scratching his other side.

" _Everyone_ is allergic to it!" Chris informed him over the camp loudspeaker. "It's _itching powder_!"

XXX

"Hoo-ah!" Brick cheered, pumping a fist in celebration as Dave hopped away on one foot, screaming and scratching himself. "One combatant left!"

The camera panned to the right as the music became ominous, and Dawn rose out of the bushes with a calm look on her face. "That may be true, but you won't get me," the moonchild declared, hitting him in the face with a balloon just as he turned around.

"Darn...," Brick said, drooping in disappointment as pink paint ran down his face.

XXX

"Well that was embarrassing," Brick told the outhouse with the paint still dripping down his face.

XXX

Static moved the focus to Sadie, a light and methodical tune playing as she crept silently along a patch of underbrush while looking around. The shot cut to her tiptoeing feet, then to her darting eyes, and then back outward as she suddenly spotted a bush rustling off to the right.

Like her friend she charged forward with a fierce battle cry, the camera following alongside her as the music spiked dramatically. As she reached the bush Sadie rose out of it, yelling and ready to throw a balloon as well.

They, and the music, stopped when they saw each other.

"Oh," Sadie said in relief, wiping her brow. "It's just you."

Before Katie could respond, Justin walked on screen. "Hello ladies," he said smoothly. "Is everything okay? I noticed your little spat earlier today."

"Everything's just fine Justin," Sadie said with a smile.

"Yeah," Katie chimed in. "I was just about to-"

"That's great news!" Justin said happily. "Hey, I think I know where Dawn is hiding, how about the three of us get the drop on her?"

\

The footage immediately skipped ahead to a shot of the waterfall from a distance, before cutting in closer to show Dawn siting in lotus position along the edge of its pool with balloons in her lap. Strangely, there wasn't any visible streams coming from the pool.

The camera panned up the fall to the three Salmons watching overhead.

"Alright," Justin said as the three leaned over the edge, "she's right down there. Just drop it on her."

"Sadie," Katie said seriously. "Before I drop this balloon I just wanna say, I'm sorry I said you weren't pretty enough for a guy like Justin."

"And I'm sorry I called you a tanorexic," Sadie replied.

"And _I'm_ sorry I said your butt was too big to fit on a bus seat," Katie said.

Sadie gave her an odd look. "You never said that."

"I did," Katie admitted sheepishly. "Just not to your face."

Sadie blinked. "It doesn't matter," she declared as a touching tune played in the background, "because you're my best friend and I love you."

"Oh I love you too!" Katie said, and the two wrapped each other in a big hug.

A loud throat clearing got their attention and the camera panned over to show Justin watching impatiently. "The challenge?"

"Right," Katie said, holding her balloon over her head. "Just let me-"

"No, I'll do it," Sadie said, grabbing the balloon from her friend.

"Sadie what are you doing?" Katie asked as she pulled the balloon back.

"If you can't decide," Justin said, grabbing hold of the weapon himself. As the three tugged it in a separate direction each, the balloon finally burst and covered them all in something pink and mushy.

The camera jumped outward to a full shot of the island as Justin's tremendous shriek of "IT'S IN MY HAIR! SOMEONE! ANYONE! TELL ME HOW TO GET FISH GUTS OUT OF HAIR!" filled the air, startling a flock of birds into flight.

At the end of it, Chris announced "Game over! Team Maskwak wins the challenge!"

XXX

"You know," a fish gut covered Justin seethed. "I _was_ gonna let those two stay and boot Cameron. But. He. Can. Wait. It's time to put an _end_ to that friendship."

XXX

A sharp, jarring note played as the footage resumed with Chris and Chef standing before the campers, all but Dawn covered in whatever they'd been hit with.

"Tonight's winners get to enjoy dinner from Mary's Lamb-Burger," Chris announced, holding out a bag of fast food. A trendy tune began to play as a close-up of the greasy thing spun into the foreground against a pink-and purple back, showing off the image of a smiling blonde white girl with a big pink bonnet holding up what looked like a burger with a lamb's leg sticking out of it. "That's Mary's Lamb-Burger and Barbecue Emporium," the host repeated. "Mary had a little lamb," he recited as the camera zoomed in to several sheep falling into the bag. A burst of fire flared up out of it, prompting Chris to laugh. " _Had_."

Chef snickered.

\

The scene faded forward to night, the opening bars of the elimination music playing over the usual long-distance shot of the island.

"Alright, players!" Chris said as the shot cut to the firepit, the Floating Salmons seated and several already holding marshmallows. "Those of you holding marshmallows," the camera zoomed in and panned across Brick, Izzy, Cameron, and Justin, "are safe. For now," he added with a laugh as the shot landed on Katie and Sadie, both empty-handed and clutching each other in wide-eyed fear.

"Katie, Sadie, one of you is going home tonight," the host continued as the music began to trill. "Sadie, you not letting Katie drop the balloon cost your team the game." The shot cut from Chris to the bottom two, and the girls hugged each other tighter. "And Katie, you not dropping the balloon when you had the chance opened Sadie up to try and do it herself. And _that_ cost you the game. Which in hindsight, really takes the drama out of this. Sadie, you're out."

The final marshmallow sailed over her head as both girls gasped.

"No! Why _Sadie_? Why her?" Katie said as a touching guitar tune began to play.

"It's so unfair," Sadie said, breaking the embrace and covering her face with her hands.

"I so can't do this," Katie said, putting a hand on her best friend's back and looking at the host. "I _need_ Sadie! Without her I'm totally lost!"

Sadie grabbed her by the shoulders. "Katie, listen to me," she told her best friend, her voice cracking as the camera moved behind Katie's head. "You can do this. You are smart and beautiful, and definitely stronger than me," she admitted, looking away before clasping her hands and smiling again. "And plus, you're like the funnest girl I know. You have to do it for both of us!" The camera moved behind her as she finished, and Katie began to tear up.

\

The emotional music continued even as the scene skipped ahead to show Katie loaded into the Cannon of Shame, Katie struggling to hold her tears in on the ground next to it. "I miss you already!" she told her BFFFL.

"I miss you more!" Sadie replied, openly sobbing.

"No, I miss you more!" Katie replied.

"Well _I_ won't miss you at all," Chris interrupted with an impish smile, the music scratching to a halt as he pressed the button on his remote, firing Sadie into the night.

"Goodbye!" Katie called out to her screaming friend one last time before dropping to her knees and crying into her hands.

XXX

"Huh," Izzy mused in the confessional. "When Justin went out with Katie and Sadie this morning they were friends, and when they come back they've had such a big argument that they lose a challenge. Could it be that gorgeous outside is hiding a rotten inside?"

XXX

"Eleven players remain," Chris told the camera as it cut to him near the sheer rock wall leading up to the elimination area and the capstone theme began to play, "but only _one_ goes home with a million dollars. Find out who lasts, and who blasts, on the next, Total! Drama! Paaaaaaahkitew Island!"

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Probably figured it out when you saw the title. Oh well. Sorry to Sadie, but since not only canon but _every_ fanfic I've ever read cuts Katie first I wanted to explore the opportunity of Katie by herself. Not that I think having Sadie do nothing in canon wasn't a mistake, but as you can tell I like doing the less explored options if I can.

Regarding Britney and Dave. In the (admittedly very very _very_ bad) 'canon' All-Stars 2 they wound up a couple, and she was just as lovesick there as she is here. It's actually her fatal flaw. And I think it's interesting to see Dave in a relationship with someone just as _odd_ as he is.

And the last (possible) pairing has been revealed. Geoff/Katie. I honestly can't think of a portmanteau name for them. I don't know, they just seem like they fit to me.

Not much to say about the challenge though. I never was good at these types.

And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie


	4. I Love You, I Love You Knots

**Author's Note:** The first of a double update week. I consider this to be the finale of the first third of the competition, so get ready for some fun.

 **ANNOUNCEMENT:** Stoked isn't the only Fresh TV show that's getting a team in the Ridonculous Race. I'm also bringing Wyatt and Caitlin as the Mallrats.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Johnathen:**_ A friendship just works better for what I have planned. I can't give away more than that.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Thanks. I was going for cute with Britney and Dave. Kinda like how Sky and Dave were cute before the writers threw all our dreams about them into a woodchipper. If Courtney doesn't have an hypocritical opinion, is it really Courtney? I wouldn't say Dawn's for or against anything, she just vaguely knows what's going to happen. Justin is a scheming scumbag, but that's what I like about him. I do hate his only really villainy was the break-up though. I think I'll use Gatie as the ship name. It's closer to Gigdette. I was actually watching the first season of Stoked on Netflix when I got the idea. And I had to do it. It's a shame Sadie had to go so soon, but that is the nature of the game. No worries, review when you can.

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ Reef and Broseph are from a show called Stoked, it's about a group of surfers working at a tourist trap for the summer. I'll definitely check out that Brickney ship fic. It'll give me something to do on the way to the Thanksgiving celebration. I'm not sure where I got the idea of Geoff and Katie, but I could see it working. I'm glad you like Britney and Dave though. Katie being by herself is definitely going to be explored this season.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Really? I've only seen one fic where Sadie went first and it was never finished. See the announcement for your Ridonculous Race question, and I can't really make any comments on the rest of your review because it'd reveal too much.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Thanks. Justin does look rather villainous doesn't he?

 _ **Guest:**_ I couldn't just keep them the bland friends they were in canon, not after what I did with Scarlett. I think people are really going to like what I do with Katie.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks! Good thing you like the relationships, let's hope things stay that way. And the boyfriend stealer line wasn't a World tour reference.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ That sequence of events was exactly what I was going for. Izzy is on to Justin, but it remains to be seen what comes of it. Brick and Courtney are both way too proud to admit they were distracted by a crush. I wouldn't say Dawn won her team the challenge as much as she was just the last person standing when the Salmons took themselves out.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ I think Katie/Geoff have the similar personality to make things work. And Katie's story will definitely be interesting. No worries about lateness. Review when you can.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Britney, Courtney, Dave, Dawn, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Cameron, Izzy, Justin, Katie

Truth or Scare. Or based on my school friends, "Tell me who you like or do something gross"

* * *

 **Episode 04: I Love You, I Love You Knots**

"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris opened over a clip of Brick hitting Dave with a balloon full of itching powder. "The teams went wild with balloon animals," Brick was shown hitting B with a balloon full of pink paint, "and not the kind ya think." The next clip showed Katie running out of the bushes to hit Geoff.

"But in the end," Britney was shown fleeing in terror as her own balloons burst to reveal a swarm of angry bees, "Team Kinosewak went bust," Courtney tripped on a rock in the ground causing her own green jelly filled balloon to hit her, and Katie and Sadie and Justin fought over their last balloon, causing it to burst and cover them in fish guts.

"So for the second time, they had to send a member home. And thanks to Katie and Sadie's bestie break-up-make-up," a quick series of clips showed the BFFFL's arguing before the challenge, Katie getting blown off by Chris after asking for a team swap, and the two making up during the challenge, "it was Sadie who was left without a marshmallow." The montage ended with Sadie offering words of encouragement to a distraught Katie, then getting shot into the night by a cannon.

"What sort of luck is in store for our campers this time?" Chris asked the camera as it cut to him standing in an open field with a hand behind his back. "Probably bad. It's time, for Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A deep tune began as the episode opened on the morning sun, the camera soon panning down onto the Salmons' bunker and cutting inside. Katie was sobbing on the bottom bunk of the set of beds she had formerly shared with Sadie. A low, touching tune was playing in the background.

"Sadie wouldn't want you to spend all your time moping," Izzy told her with a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Well she's not here," Katie said. "And it's all _your_ fault!"

Izzy briefly widened her eyes, then sighed. "I'm sorry okay. But you knew one of you had to go first."

Katie sniffed, then propped herself up on one arm to look at her teammate. "That doesn't mean I was _prepared_ for it!"

Both girls' attention were caught by Cameron's voice calling out "Is everything okay over there?"

"Come on in Cam!" Izzy called back.

"Sorry to interrupt," the bubble boy said as he walked on screen. "But Brick's about to go foraging and he wanted to know if either of you wanted to go with him."

"You should go Katie," Izzy suggested. "Maybe it'll take your mind off of Sadie."

Katie sniffed. "Okay," she said. "I'll try."

XXX

"I've never done _anything_ without Sadie before," Katie confessed awkwardly while rubbing her arm. "We've been best friends and neighbors since we were five years old."

XXX

"I just don't get where Britney went," Dave said, the static cutting to him, Geoff, and Courtney walking together through the forest as the music became more plodding. "I mean, she said she was gonna come foraging with us..."

"I already told you Dave," Courtney told him as the camera moved in closer. "She had to show Dawn and B where to get the water. Unless you _like_ the idea of dying of thirst."

"But why wouldn't she tell me-I mean us that she wasn't coming?" Dave asked.

Geoff shrugged helplessly. "Maybe she forgot dude. You gotta admit, she's not the most focused around you," he added with an elbow nudge and a wink.

"But-" Dave tried to say before Courtney suddenly stopped, forcing him and Geoff to stop as well.

"Alright," the prep said as the focus moved to her, "we should be meeting the others any minute now." She waved them forward before proceeding through the bushes and out of sight.

"Others?" Dave whispered to Geoff, earning another helpless shrug before they followed Courtney.

The scene immediately cut to a small clearing as Courtney walked in from the left, and Brick and Katie walked in from the right. "Good morning Courtney," the soldier greeted, raising his hand as he drew closer to his nominal enemy. "Are you ready to forage?"

"Obviously," Courtney said, the camera panning to the right slightly as Dave and Geoff emerged from the woods with surprised looks on their faces.

The shot cut to Brick and Katie as their brows shot up. "I thought you said only Courtney and Britney would be here," Katie said in confusion.

Courtney blinked. "Britney wanted us to split up so we could all learn how to survive out here," she answered with an eye roll that went unnoticed. "But they _shouldn't_ be a problem..."

"Hey, the more the merrier!" Brick said brightly.

Courtney smiled at him, and the camera cut to Geoff and Dave sharing an odd look.

XXX

Katie started her confessional with a squeal. "Geoff's here!" She sighed and looked down sadly. "But I don't know what to say. _Sadie_ used to coach me on how to talk to guys."

XXX

"Call me crazy," Dave told the outhouse, "but I think Brick the straight-laced military leader of the other team has a thing for Courtney the control freak that cares more about winning than people."

He gave the camera a dry look. "This place is weird."

XXX

The static cut to the girls' side of the Bears' treefort, where Britney was pouring water into plastic cups of various sizes and colors.

Courtney walked into the room, then frowned. "What are you doing?"

Britney gasped in surprise. "Oh! Courtney! I didn't hear you come in. I was just pouring some water into a cup for Dave." A flat note played as Courtney stared at her blankly. "You know... his germaphobia," Britney said awkwardly. "I just thought...he'd appreciate a clean-ish cup to drink from, then I thought 'Why not just give one to everybody?'"

Courtney took a deep breath, then smiled. "You haven't been in Canada for a while have you?"

"Not really," Britney said with an awkward smile and laugh. "My parents are cinematographers and I was homeschooled. Everywhere they went, I did. So I don't really know a lot about Canadian culture outside the stereotypes."

"Well in that case I have to say something," Courtney said. "You're going to scare Dave off if you keep obsessing over him like this."

"I am?" the globetrotter asked fearfully.

"Yes," Courtney answered. "You need to play hard to get. That means you act like you _don't_ like him," she said upon seeing her roommate's confused look. "Guys want what they can't have, so that'll make him like you more."

"That..." Britney said slowly, "doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Of course it doesn't," Courtney shrugged. "He's a guy. But trust me, this will work. Would I lie to you?"

Britney thought about it for a moment, then smiled.

XXX

"There," Courtney said with a satisfied smile. "Within a day or two they'll both lose interest and we get our best player back to normal."

XXX

The footage skipped ahead a ways to show all five Salmons gathered around the campfire in front of their bunker, eating berries and roasted fish.

"Great haul Izzy," Justin said with a smile, sitting between her in the foreground. "I really appreciate it."

"And I appreciate that trick you taught us with a battery," Brick told Cameron, the camera zooming in on the two sitting next to each other on the far side of the fire. "It sure does make this fire easier."

"Eh, it's no big deal," Izzy said with a shrug.

"Yeah, happy to help," Cameron chimed in.

The camera panned back to Justin as he swallowed a bite of fish. "Are you okay Katie? You haven't said anything since you got back from foraging," he turned and asked the thin girl sitting between him and Brick.

The shot cut in closer to her, perking up at the question. However, any response was cut off by the sudden whine of the camp's broadcasting system switching on. The Salmons promptly covered their ears and cringed, and shot dirty looks towards the side.

"Morning, campers!" Chris announced, the camera cutting to the booming loudspeaker. "It's time to start today's fun activity!" The shot moved to the Bears' treefort as Britney, Courtney, and Dave opened the door and poked their heads outside to listen. "So, get your butts over to the meeting area, tout de suite!" He finished with a laugh.

\

The scene immediately flashed to the meeting area as the two teams filed onto the angled logs set up as benches. Chris stood between them, under a large television monitor that had been affixed to two tall, thick posts. Above the monitor was an electronic scoreboard that read 0-0, each in the color of the logo it was under.

"Step right up, players," Chris said. "Team Kinosewak to the right, Team Maskwak to the left."

The shot cut in close to the Salmon's bench as Cameron and Izzy filed in at the end after Justin. "Hey, have you noticed something weird with Justin?" Cameron whispered to his teammate.

"Yeah I have," Izzy replied, shielding her mouth with her hand as he glanced to the side, "I think he may have had something to do with Sadie's elimination."

XXX

"At least I'm not the only one who's noticed," Cameron told the outhouse. "I was worried all that time in my bubble made me a little paranoid."

XXX

"Then why did you vote for her?" Cameron asked in disbelief.

Izzy cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Uhh, never mind," Cameron said quickly. "My point is, we have to vote him off the next chance we get. He kinda reminds me of Alejandro and you know how much trouble he caused."

"Oh I know, I cheered when that handsome jerk lost all his hair," Izzy whispered.

"Maybe we can get Katie to see that Justin's the reason Sadie was sent home," Cameron suggested.

A sharp throat-clearing got their attention, and they looked up. "If the two nerds of a feather would quit mumbling," Chris told them sternly as the shot cut to him, "I have a challenge to intro. You can save your conversation for later."

"Oh, sorry," Cameron said, the shot cutting to him and Izzy noticing their teammates' confused stares then looking over towards the host.

"Thank you," Chris said, bouncing lightly on his feet as he took a breath, opened his eyes, and smiled for the camera. "It's time we separated the brave from the liars," he announced as a light but tense theme began to play. "The game is Truth, or Scare!" The shot cut from the Salmons to the Bears, a mixture of confusion and dread appearing on the campers' faces.

"Every round a player is chosen at random," he explained, pointing up to the monitor above him. Its screen was divided in half, with each side spinning like the reels of a slot machine – the left showing the faces of the campers, the right alternating between a halo and a flame. The left side suddenly stopped on Izzy, and the shot briefly cut to her frowning and looking around as the host continued. "It also chooses whether you'll do a truth, or a scare. Halo means truth," the right side of the screen was forcibly stopped on a halo, "flames mean scare," and then to flames.

"Get a scare," Chris explained as the shot cut back to him, "and you'll have to perform a terrifying challenge!" he said with a dark and vicious grin, provoking a gasp from the Salmons and an ominous musical riff. "Don't worry," he told Brick sitting on the far end of the Salmons' log, "not all the scares will be scary. Some," he pointed his finger close enough to the soldier's face to force him to lean away, "will be disgusting."

The shot cut back to the reels, the left still on Izzy as the right resumed spinning before stopping on a halo. "But in this case, Izzy has gotten a truth." A cut to the girl in question showed her sitting in between Cameron and Justin, gulping nervously as she stared up at the monitor. "This means she just has to answer a question honestly! But the answer," he leaned over towards the girl, startling her, "will be _revealing_! It could expose a dark secret that will destroy her in the eyes of her newly found friends!" The music trilled ominously as Izzy's eyes darted around in rising panic. "Or not," the host said with renewed nonchalance, "whatevs."

"How will you know if we lie?" Izzy asked, rubbing her neck nervously after Chris left.

"For that," Chris grinned as he took his spot back in the center, "we spared no expense. Meet Clucky," he motioned down and to the left, the camera quick-panning over to show a normal-looking brown chicken walking over, "the truth-seeking chicken! No lie gets past this bird." Clucky looked around calmly as she was introduced. "She's former CIA and runs her own law firm: Buck, Buck, & B'gawk. If you have a secret," he gleefully told the campers as the shot cut back to him, "this poultry polygraph will pluck it out." With a flutter and a squawk, Clucky flew up onto Chris's well-coiffed head.

"Completing a challenge or telling a truth gets your team a point," he continued. "But, if you fail a challenge, or tell a lie, your whole team gets a shock."

A metallic clinking was heard as the shot cut to a close-up of Dave. "Umm, what do you mean by 'shock'?" As he spoke, Chef walked up behind him and put a metallic collar around his neck, the same clinking sound heard as it locked and crackled with electricity. "Also," Dave added warily as the camera pulled back to show his full team, himself sitting on the right between Britney and Geoff, "what are these metal collars Chef's putting on us?" He motioned to Britney's collar as Chef stepped to the side and put one on Geoff.

"You just answered your question," Chris said with a happy smile and a chicken still on his head. "But let me make it even clearer..." He held up a pair of single-button remote controls, a red one in his right hand and a green one in his left. With a squinting grin he pressed the buttons, and a dramatic note played as the two teams were electrocuted – first the Bears, then the Salmons.

He released the buttons, and the shot cut to the smoldering members of the Salmons. "Have you tested these?" Katie asked.

"Yup, I just did!" Chris answered with a bright smile. "And, you're still alive. Congrats. Let's start the game!" he said, turning to the other side. "Izzy?"

Izzy gulped again as Clucky fluttered over onto her lap, stared her in the eye, and clucked at her in suspicion.

XXX

"So I may have a couple of things I don't want the others to know," Izzy said impishly. "Luckily this isn't the first time I've dealt with a lie detector chicken.

XXX

"Izzy, the question is," the host continued, "do you have a criminal record?"

Izzy looked to the side and saw Brick, Katie, and Justin looking at her and Clucky clucked demandingly. "Okay! Okay..." she told her in a placating tone.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "The truth is," she began along with a drumroll, "I..." The Bears were shown looking interested, then the shot cut to Cameron doing the same. "...don't _technically_ have one," Izzy admitted as the drumroll concluded.

The others gasped. Clucky clucked at her in suspicion, staring deeply into her eyes as a tense tune played...only for it to level off as she clucked in confirmation.

"Clucky says, that was a truth!" Chris announced as the scoreboard was shown dinging up to 0-1.

"'Technically'?" Courtney asked from across the way. "You either do or you don't."

"Care to elaborate, _Izzy_?" Chris asked with a mischievous smile, and the music began to rise dramatically.

"Umm...well...," Izzy said, closing her eyes and looking away nervously, "not.. really. I mean, I was given a question and I answered it and got a point. If you wanna know more, then ask me another truth question later."

"She has a point," Cameron spoke up. "Unless you plan on giving her more points then her turn is over."

"Thanks Cam," Izzy said, putting a hand on the bubble boy's shoulder.

"Fine," Chris said tersely before looking back up at the monitor which promptly began to spin again, "we'll move on. Looks like B's next," he announced, the left reel landing on the Bears' resident genius, "doing another truth. And the question is...," he began as the shot cut to him holding a stack of note cards, "What is your first name?"

B's eyes widened, and Clucky landed on his lap with a demanding cluck.

"Maybe he could get a scare instead?" Dawn asked. "B can't answer this, he doesn't talk!"

"You're running out of time, B," Chris said sternly.

B's eyes darted from the right to the left in a panic.

XXX

"I have to do something," Dawn declared. "I can't let B fail because of this!"

XXX

The static cut away to her patting B on the back and giving him an encouraging smile. He looked back, sighed silently, and nodded his head.

"B is short for... Beverly," Dawn told the host.

Clucky looked him right in the eyes, then nodded in acceptance and clucked at Chris. The background music turned triumphant.

"Well," the host said as the music stopped. "While that _was_ a truth, _B_ was supposed to be the one who answered. So-" He pressed the red remote and the Bears were all shocked.

"What the heck was _that_ about?!" Courtney complained. "You just said it was the truth!"

"As I just said, B did not answer the question and therefore it doesn't count," Chris told her plainly. "Next up is..." He looked back up to the monitor, and the first reel quickly stopped on the globetrotter, and the second on a flame shortly after. "Britney! Doing a scare."

"Britney," he said as the shot cut to the wary girl and the music became slow and tense, "to earn a point," the camera moved behind her shoulder as Chris walked in front of her, "you will have to drink. An entire jug." The shot switched from zooming in on Britney to zooming in on Chris. "Of mineral water!" He produced a clear glass jug about two-thirds full of sloshing water.

"Oh, that's not so bad." Britney smiled, taking the jug.

Chris took out a stopwatch. "You've got thirty seconds," he said, pushing its button. The background score immediately sped up, the clock ticking over it.

Britney put the jug to her lips...and took a small sip. And another small sip. And another. And another.

"What are you...," Dave asked in disbelief, the camera cutting outward to show her teammates watching her. "Really?"

"Are you sure that's the best way to do that?" Dawn added.

"Stop sipping and _chug_!" Courtney chimed in.

Britney gave her an anxious look, then gasped for air. "Fifteen seconds," Chris told her with a smile, the stopwatch still ticking in his hand.

Most of the Bears groaned. "If I drink any faster I'll get sick," Britney told them in a pleading tone.

Geoff replied by grabbing the jug, and vigorously shaking it so the water began to fizz and hiss ominously.

Britney gave him a blank and wary look. "Geoff, what are you doing?"

"Stop it," Courtney added, standing up with a look of irritation. "How can she drink it if it's in your hands?"

Geoff just smiled. "Trust me dudes," he said, pointing towards Britney's mouth. He removed his hand from the jug's mouth, and the water shot at Britney, knocking her onto her back with her legs sticking up in the air.

XXX

"My older brother taught me that trick," Geoff confessed proudly. "Haven't lost a soda chugging contest in years."

XXX

"Well half of it went up her nose," Chris said as the shot cut back to him and his stopwatch. "But that still counts as drinking Team Maskwak gets a point." He motioned up to the scoreboard, which updated with a ding to show the score at 1-1. "Well done Britney," he said to the girl, who was still on her back. "Britney?" he asked as she reached up and grabbed onto the log.

XXX

"I don't know what's about to happen," Britney told the outhouse camera, painfully holding her bloated stomach, "but it clearly can't be good." Her stomach gurgled ominously. "Not good at all..."

XXX

Now sitting back on the log among her teammates, Britney's stomach gurgled loudly again and the other nervously scooted away from her.

"It's a 1-1 tie," Chris told the camera as it moved back to him and the capstone theme began to play. "But, it looks like a contestant might get blasted off the island early, and we won't even need the cannon! Stay tuned to find out, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

Britney's stomach growled again as the shot hung on the full view of the island.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed on a close-up of Britney's rumbling stomach, the background music quickly building up into an intense peak as her hands shot up to cover her mouth and her cheeks bulged.

She burped. Lightly.

"That was disproportionate" Cameron commented, the shot cutting to him, Izzy, and Justin crouching behind their team's log.

"Aww," Izzy added as she stood up and stepped back over the log. "I was hoping for something a little more... 'Boom-boom'!"

The music became tense as the camera cut back to the monitor, the first reel stopping on Justin. "Justin!" Chris said impishly just before the second reel stopped on a halo. "It is, truth time!"

"Uh...," Justin said, looking at Clucky warily as the chicken walked over. "I won't get like some freaky chicken disease will I?"

Chris shrugged. "Who knows?" he said before raising his next note card. "Justin, for a point: What worries you the most?"

"I never worry," Justin said calmly. "It causes wrinklage."

The music became deep and dramatic enough as Clucky was shown giving him a one-eyed inspection, then fluttering over to the smiling host and knocking the remotes he was holding to the ground. She pressed the button on the Salmons' with her beak, and the team was electrocuted.

"Justin's the one who lied," Brick said after the shock passed, "why are the rest of us getting shocked?"

"Sorry, but you're a package deal," Chris told her. "Remember: if one of you tells a lie, you all pay the price." A tense tune played as the camera cut first to Brick and Katie, then Izzy and Cameron, then Justin's face falling upon seeing his teammate's glares.

Justin just gulped and pulled at the collar of his shirt.

The shot cut back to the spinning reels. "And next up, we have..." Chris said before the first reel stopped, "Dave."

"Sure," the germaphobe said optimistically, "I got nothin' to hide."

"Doing, a scare!" Chris finished as the second reel was shown stopping on a flame. Dave gulped, and Chris walked over to him with a mischievous grin. "Alright Dave," he said, "there are scary scares. Then, there are scarier scares," he hunched himself over and made claws with his hands. "And then," Dawn and B were shown sharing a confused look, "there's this." he took out a note card.

"For a point," Chris said as the music built up ominously again, "you must...kiss a person next to you."

Dave's eyes widened in fear, and he looked to his left at Geoff. The party dude raised an eyebrow. "Dude, I'm flattered," Geoff said, "but you're not really my type. Plus, I'm sure there's someone _else_ you'd rather be kissing right now."

Dave let out a breath of relief. "Yeah, sorry," he said, giving his teammate an awkward smile. Then, as he turned his head to the right, a touching tune began to play as he locked eyes with a faintly blushing Britney. "Well...if it's this or a shock," he said as she briefly looked away bashfully, "I guess we may as well...I mean," he rubbed the back of his head, "if we have to."

The two leaned towards each other ever so slightly with smiles on their faces.

XXX

" _YYYYYYYYYES_!" Dave cheered, raising his arms then pumping his fist one after the other. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

XXX

" _YES_!" Britney said happily as the touching tune resumed. "I mean, yeah we have to. No big deal..."

"Right," Dave chimed in. "It's not...like..."

"Yeah," Britney said with a light shrug, "it's just two people."

"Well if that's all it is," Courtney spoke up impatiently, the shot cutting outward to show both her and Chris staring at the pair in annoyance, "then why don't you hurry up and get it over with already?"

"Yeah, clock's ticking," Chris added, pointing at his stopwatch.

Britney and Dave shared a look at one another and the music became tense, the camera zooming in as they puckered up and moved slowly towards each other.

"Time's up!" Chris announced just before they kissed, a sharp note playing as the shot cut outward to show the full and shocked line-up of the Confused Bears. "And since your lips never actually touched..." The camera panned down to Clucky as she stepped on their team's button, and another sharp note played as the six were electrocuted.

"Aww," Britney said dejectedly.

XXX

"What am I doing?" she asked herself in the outhouse. "I'm supposed to be playing hard to get. That was not hard to get!"

XXX

"Next up," Chris said over another close-up of the spinning reels, "Courtney! Doing...a scare," he announced as the reels stopped on the preppy girl and the flame respectively.

The shot briefly cut to the girl in question perking up before returning to the host. "Courtney," he said as tense music began to build, "for the point, you must... eat a bowl of gelatin."

Courtney smiled. "Is that all?" she asked confidently.

"Huh," Dave said as the camera panned over to him, "I thought these scares were supposed to be disgusting."

Chris laughed. "I haven't explained the twist yet. Chef?" he added impishly, shaking his stopwatch at the Bears.

The shot cut to Chef bringing a bowl of green gelatin to Courtney on the end of her team's log as the girl's eyes widened in shock. "Eat up," Chef told her, "you got thirty seconds."

The camera cut to a close-up of the prep trembling with fear, then to a close-up of the gelatin.

XXX

"You know that movie?" Courtney asked the outhouse. "With all the dinosaurs in the theme park? And that one scene where the green jelly is just skaing on the girl's spoon right before another attack. Yeah, I was in daycare when I saw that and I've been terrified of green jelly ever since."

She took a deep breath. "But I refuse to let my team down. _Someone_ on this team has to be focused on winning."

XXX

A deep, dramatic note was struck as the challenge footage resumed on the close-up of Courtney with her eyes clenched shut and the gelatin now sitting on her lap.

"Come on," Geoff told her as the shot cut outward to show the campers next to her, "you can do it."

"It won't get any better if you keep waiting," Dawn added.

"Right," Courtney said before gulping nervously.

She suddenly opened her eyes, stared at the gelatin for a second, then cringed in disgust. "GET THIS STUFF AWAY FROM ME!" she shouted, tossing the bowl off her lap and scrambling off the log.

"Seriously?" Dave asked dryly, the bowl having landed on his head and gelatin covering his head and shoulders.

Britney swiped some from the boy's shoulders and popped it in her mouth. "I don't get it, lemon lime is like the best flavor."

"Interesting," Chris commented as the shot cut to him. "You can think about it while your team is being electrocuted."

The camera immediately cut back to the Bears as electricity once more coursed through their bodies. All six of them groaned as it ended. "I just couldn't do it...," Courtney said in shame.

The shot moved back to the monitor as the reels began to spin again – and soon landed on Brick and a halo. "Ready and willing sir," the soldier saluted as the focus moved to him and Clucky jumped up onto his lap. She clucked at him suspiciously and looked him in the eye, but he just snorted. "I won the honesty medal back home three years running."

"Brick," Chris began to read from his card, "out of everybody on the island, who best fits your compliant nature?"

"Compliant?" Brick answered in disbelief. "I'm large and in charge!"

A cluck drew the camera back to Brick and Clucky as the chicken got face-to-face with the startled soldier, staring him right in the eyes. After a moment she clucked in disdain, fluttered away, and landed next to the two remotes that were still on the ground. She stared back towards the Salmons as she pressed their button, and the shot promptly cut to them getting shocked again.

"Sorry Brick," Chris said from off-screen as the camera focused on the smoldering cadet, "but Clucky says you're lying."

"Aww man," Izzy said in disappointment as the shot zoomed back out.

"Way to go, man," Justin spat, and the cadet groaned.

"From here on in, I'm gonna suggest better team play," Chris said as the focus moved back to him. "Maybe then then the score will get higher than 1-1!" he added, the shot quickly cutting away to the scoreboard. "Remember what's at stake. The loosing team will be sending someone home! And while I don't know who that could be there's already a couple good candidates on each team." The shot cut first to the Salmons as Justin and Brick looked around in a defiant sort of sheepishness, then to the Bears to show B, Courtney, and Dave all hanging their heads in shame. "But hey!" Chris said brightly. "Anything can happen! It's on to the Lightning Round!"

A fast-paced an intense challenge theme began to play as the reels resumed spinning, quickly stopping on Britney and the flame. "Grab a wolf by the ears!" Chris announced. The footage immediately cut to a slow pan onto the forest with plenty of furious howls and snarls coming from off-screen. The camera finished its pan to show Britney, bruised and scratched and smiling proudly, holding a large, angry wolf by the ears.

The shot cut to the scoreboard as it became 2-1, then panned down to show the reels landing on B and a halo again. "Who is your least favorite teammate?" Chris asked with great enthusiasm, pointing to the boy and causing him to gulp nervously. The camera panned across his haggard and mostly glaring team as he darted his eyes around nervously. Clucky was shown moving over to their remote, and the seated Bears were soon shocked once more.

The reels began to spin once again, this time landing on Katie and another flame. "Beautify a bear!" Chris called out and the footage moved to the hot-blooded girl kneeling beside a bear lying on its back. She frantically applied dark eye shadow, red lipstick, and a bit of blush to it, and it soon sat up, looked at its reflection in a hand mirror, and grunted happily. The scoreboard promptly changed to 2-2.

A pan down to the monitors showed the reels landing on Cameron and a halo. "What is your most embarrassing memory?" Chris asked, and the the cut to the bubble boy rubbing his chin and looking up in thought.

"My mom made me wear a diaper until I was eleven," he explained unabashedly. As he spoke the camera panned to the left across his shocked and slightly mortified teammates, ending with a shot of both Chris and Clucky gaping in shock.

The shot cut to the scoreboard updating to 2-3 in the Salmons' favor.

Then the reels landed on B and a halo again, and the shot cut to the boy in question as he rolled his eyes.

The footage skipped over the question and inevitable failure, and the shot immediately cut to him and his teammates being shocked.

A cut back to the reels showed them landing on Geoff and a flame. "Okay Geoff, to get a point," Chris said as the scene moved to Chef bringing a tarantula to the haggard Bears, "you must take this _live_ tarantula and-"

Geoff shrugged and grabbed the bug, then shoved it in his mouth and swallowed.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Chris exclaimed in shock, barely able to stop himself from vomiting. "All you had to do was _pet_ it!"

"Oh," Geoff said blankly. "Do I still get the point?"

The shot cut to Chris, doubled over and trying to avoid puking. He took a deep breath, then resumed his usual posture and cleared his throat. "Yeah okay, uh, point for Team Maskwak!" he announced, a light triumphant tune playing as the scoreboard updated 3-3.

"After all this pain and anguish," Chris continued, the shot cutting outward to show him and Chef and Clucky standing between the two teams, "you're still tied. Makes it seem like it was all for nothing," he added thoughtfully as the camera slowly zoomed in on the depressed-looking Salmons. "And while I could do this all day," the shot panned across the similarly-downtrodden Bears before cutting to the grinning host, the remotes now in his hands, "seriously, I mean these are _awesome_!" he said excitedly, looking from one remote to the other before stowing them away behind his back. He took a breath. "It's time for the game to end," he announced, earning a sigh of relief from the Salmons. "Right after the _Sudden Death Round_!" he added with dramatic excitement, earning a gasp from the Bears.

"A player from each team will go head-to-head in a duel challenge," he explained. "Winner's team gets immunity. Loser's team gets shocked, and, sends someone home," he said with a sly smirk.

The shot cut to the monitor, now showing only one reel containing the faces of the Bears and nothing else. After a couple seconds it landed on B.

"Not _again_!" Courtney complained, slapping her hand against her forehead.

Dave crossed his arms and glared. "This is for the game Courtney," he said. "Could you try and be a little supportive?"

Courtney took a deep breath, then smiled. "You're right," she said sweetly. "Let's try and support the guy who only gets truth questions even though he doesn't talk to represent us in the final round!" she said, getting less sweet and more irritated with every word.

"Don't worry Courtney," Chris said as he walked over to the team. "In the sudden death round, there are _no_ truths. Only _scares_."

"That means we still have a chance dudes!" Geoff said, prompting the team to cheer.

"Well that depends on if he can beat..." Chris said as the shot cut back to the reels, now showing only the faces of the Floating Salmons, " _Izzy_!"

A deep note played as the shot cut to Izzy's smile. "Allright," she cheered as she walked over to the host and B, "let's bring on the scares!"

B just crossed his arms and smirked.

Chris held up two cloth sacks – one in each hand, both tied shut. "The game is simple," he explained with his usual smile. "In each of these bags you'll find the opposing team's shock remote. First to undo the tightly-knotted string, get the remote, and shock the opposition, wins the day."

The shot cut outward as he handed the bags to B and Izzy. "Go!" he declared, and a deep and tense challenge theme began to play.

A close-up showed Izzy trying to untie her knot, a determined look on her face. It was followed by a close-up of B doing the same, pursing his lips as his large fingers tried to get a good grip on the string.

"Do it, B!" Courtney called out, drawing the camera to the Bears. "Remember what's at stake!" she added as Dave, Britney, and Geoff cheered.

The shot then cut to the Salmons, Cameron, Katie, and Brick all cheering Izzy on enthusiastically. "Yeah," Justin added halfheartedly, "don't let me get shocked again!"

"Oh no," Dawn cried as B was shown still fumbling to get a hold of the string. "His fingers are too big!"

"If you can't undo the string," Courtney called out from off-screen, prompting B to turn his head and the camera to cut back to her, "then find another way!"

The shot cut back to B as he smirked confidently, then renewed his efforts by attacking the knotted string with his teeth. The camera panned over to Izzy, who had loosened her knot but not untied it. "Urgh, why is this so tricky?" she griped in frustration as she kept pulling at the string.

The screen split in two, each side focusing in on one of the bags, and just as Izzy finished untying her knot with her fingers B simply pulled the entire string off the bag with his teeth. Both bags were opened, but the right side slid away and the camera pulled back as Izzy tried to dump out her remote.

"Oh no no no!"she cried as she fumbled and dropped it.

The shot cut to B holding up his remote with a grin. He slowly raised a finger to push the button, then the camera moved to Izzy half-bent over and gasping at her opponent, then back to B - his eyes closed in triumph - finally pressing his remote.

Izzy was shocked, as were the rest of the Salmons.

\

A deep note played as the scene skipped ahead a little ways, the campers all seated. "What an interesting day," he said in a calm voice as a faintly victorious tune played. "Team Maskwak," he motioned to the winners, "as winners of Truth or Scare, you gain immunity," he said as he walked over to them. B sagged in relief. "You also get this week's fast food delivery," he took out a greasy paper bag, "courtesy of Humpty Dumpty's Meat Shack!" An elevator music tune began to play as the shot cut to the open bag lying on its side on an orange table; on the side of the bag was an image of an egg-shaped character sitting in a horseshoe despite the nursery rhyme never mentioning eggs. "At Humpty's all the king's horses feed all the king's men," Chris said as a few horses ran into the open bag, which then tipped upright.

The shot cut to the team in question as everyone gurgled in disgust and covered their mouths.

"Yeah," Chris told them as he stowed the bag with his own look of disgust. "Or if you want, Chef's grillin' fish. Team Kinosewak," he turned to the other team, "time to vote one of you off the island."

The five members of the Floating Salmon sighed and sagged in disappointment.

XXX

"We lost, and I didn't earn us a point," Justin said almost worryingly. "I need to do something about that..."

XXX

A flash took the scene to Britney walking through the woods apparently by herself, until Dave ran up alongside her. "Ssooo," he opened, "crazy day, huh? I mean, we almost _kissed_ back there..."

"Totally," Britney answered with a smile as the shot cut in closer, "really crazy." She stiffened slightly as her eyes widened, then she ran ahead down the path.

The camera lingered on Dave, and he sighed. "I wish I could figure her out," he said sadly as he started walking back in the other direction. "Is she into me, or not? I just wish she'd give me a sign. Any sign at all..."

\

Another flash took the scene to just outside of the Salmons' bunker, the camera focused on Izzy. She sighed, then looked up as she came upon Justin - completely shirtless - walking in her direction.

"Hey Izzy," he said suavely. "Can we talk?"

The camera panned down his well-muscled torso as his leitmotif played.

Izzy just nodded with her mouth agape.

"It's about tonight's vote. I heard the others talking and they wanna send you home," he said.

Izzy didn't visibly respond.

"But I think we should send Cameron home instead, he just doesn't really _fit_ _in_ with the rest of us y'know?"

Once again, Izzy just nodded with her mouth agape.

"Great," Justin smiled. "Then I'll see you at the ceremony tonight." With that he walked away, leaving Izzy's eyes glued to his backside.

XXX

Justin started his confessional with a chuckle. "It's just too easy."

XXX

The footage cut ahead to nighttime, the moon high above the island. The opening of the elimination theme was cut short as the camera cut to the campfire area, the Salmons' logo appearing in the corner.

"The following Team Kinosewak members are safe," Chris opened. "Brick, Katie," the shot cut to the pair sitting on a log together and happily catching the marshmallows tossed their way, "and Izzy." The shot cut next to Izzy and Cameron sitting together on another log, the wildcard accepting her prize. The boy smiled at her, then froze and frowned in sudden realization as the dramatic music began to build.

"Cameron, you could be going home because you've been trying to convince everyone not to trust a teammate," the host explained from off-screen, Cameron sent a glare to the model sitting next to him, "and, you're not a very physically gifted player."

"Justin," the shot cut to the model as he raised an eyebrow, "you could be going home for getting your team shocked by refusing to tell a simple truth, and becaused some of your team doesn't seem to trust you."

Justin smirked. "So I noticed," he said smoothly.

"And tonight's human cannonball is...," Chris said with a bright smile, " _Cameron_!" The shot cut back to the bubble boy, his eyes widening as he gasped in shock. He looked to the side, and Justin smirked at him as he caught the final marshmallow in his open palms.

\

The scene rotated to the Cannon of Shame, the camera focused on a scowling Cameron in the barrel, the somber farewell tune playing in the background. "I'm telling you guys you can't trust Justin," he said sharply. "He's the reason Sadie went home and he hasn't even _done_ anything all season!"

A dull note played as the shot cut to his former teammates, Brick looking sheepish and awkward as Izzy looked down in shame and Katie rubbed a hand against her chin. Justin, meanwhile, simply crossed his arms and smirked.

"If you guys aren't careful," Cameron warned as the shot cut back to him. "You're all going home!"

"Yeah, just like you," Chris told him as he took out his remote and pressed the button.

Cameron was promptly shot screaming into the night.

Chris snorted as the shot moved back to him, and the capstone theme started up in the background. "Ten players left," he told the camera with his usual fake smile. "Find out which nine will get to hang, while one, goes bang. Next time, on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And so it happens that I had to eliminate Cameron. I noticed that he had significantly less potential than the other males, and especially the females. So I had in the earliest planning stages had him as the first boot, then second, then third. His final fate was decided when I finally came up with a plot. He was the first to notice Justin's villainy and was sent home because of it. Sorry to his fans, and to those expecting him and Izzy to become friends or even him to notice the strangeness with the island. This just... wasn't his time.

Oh and it was a bit contrived, but I managed to reveal B's real name.

Fun Fact: The backstory to Courtney's fear has real world roots. My own mother refuses to eat green jello because of the very scene in Jurassic Park that was described, and my aunt - a preschool teacher- once showed it to her class only knowing that it was about dinosaurs.

Not much to say about the challenge though. I never was good at these types.

And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron


	5. Splash Dash Redemption

**Author's Note:** Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Or Happy Thursday if you're an international reader.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Guest 1138:**_ Thanks. I had to have B constantly fail his team to make Cameron's elimination all the more surprising. Justin is in a rather interesting position right now. The OC's name is Britney, you had it right.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ I don't plan on having the others forget Cam anytime soon. But you got your team names mixed up. Cam was on Team Kinosewak.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Well I said during the first chapter that Izzy was going to be a lot more sane here. And yes, writer's block hits me _hard_ sometimes.

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ It's a good show, I think you'll enjoy it. Well as a party dude, Geoff has to be ready for practically anything. I purposely wrote the last chapter to make people think B was getting sent home. But I actually _did_ manage to come up with something for Cameron, it just led to his elimination. Funny you should mention Amy's entrance...

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ I've also noticed that about Cameron in fanfics. I guess it just takes a certain set of circumstances for him to go far.

 _ **Guest:**_ Sadly it wasn't his time. But interesting hopes for the winner. It seems Britney, Brick, Dave, and Dawn are rather popular this season.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Yep, I made it look like B was the natural boot just pull the carpet out from under you and send Cam home. Actually, Courtney's fear wasn't a tie-in to Dramarama. My aunt actually showed Jurassic Park to a group of preschoolers. The whole scene with Dave's scare was one of my favorites in canon. And I guess he looked over at the guy because of the rule of funny. The Kinosewak aren't in too much trouble, a numbers advantage never means that much. If I'm being honest. Wyatt/Caitlin are my 6teen OTP. Okay, I forgot about Underdogs. I guess it's kinda equal who goes first between them in fics.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Well there are still a couple of candidates for a villain this season...

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Thanks. I planned on Cam's elimination being a surprise. I read your ideas for Dramarama, and I like them. I like them a lot.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Britney, Courtney, Dave, Dawn, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Izzy, Justin, Katie

Time for one of these guys to make a splash, then get shot out of a canon

* * *

 **Episode 05: Splash Dash Redepmtion**

"On the last episode of Total Drama," Chris opened, a long-distance shot of Pahkitew Island giving way to a clip of Chef clipping a shock collar onto Dave's neck. "It was a battle of Truth or Scare judged by Clucky the poultry polygraph," the host said as the reels landed on Izzy, who gulped as Clucky fluttered onto her lap. "Where the competitors had to tell the truth, or," Clucky was shown pressing on one of the remotes and shocking the Salmons, "complete a scary-slash-disgusting challenge." The next clip showed Courtney looking wide eyed at the green gelatin, then knocking the bowl away from her. "Failure meant, _this_ would happen," Chris added over another shot of he himself pressing the buttons on both remotes, electrocuting both teams.

"Looked like something might be, uh, _brewing_ between Britney and Dave," he said over a clip of them attempting to kiss followed by her holding her stomach in the confessional; he laughed as Cameron, Justin, and Izzy came up out of the cover of their log. "But in the end, it was Izzy's butter fingers that lost it for Team Kinosewak," he added over a few clips of the final round, showing both Izzy and B struggling at first before Izzy fumbled and B succeeded, shocking his opponents. "And Justin once again used his beauty to sway the votes in his favor, sending Cameron home." A shirtless Justin was shown talking to Izzy, then Cameron was shown blasting away into the night, ending the recap montage.

"Who's next to let their team down in a hilarious and hurt-y way?" Chris asked the camera. "Find out now, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A peaceful tune started to play as the episode opened on a shot of the moon, the camera soon panning down onto the water as a trail of bubbles made its way across. The shot cuts to the beach, where the bubbles eventually end up. To a dramatic sting in the music, a strange horned green creature rises out of the water and opens its glowing red eyes with a roar that scared away a snake, a bunny, and a raccoon.

\

The scene flashed to the girls' side of the Bears' treefort, focusing on Dawn in particular sleeping peacefully before her eyes opened and she woke up and sat straight up with a gasp.

XXX

"I felt a presence on this island," she told the outhouse, "something cruel and evil."

XXX

"Courtney! Britney!" Dawn hissed to her roommates.

"Ugh," Courtney groaned. "What is it?"

"We have to find Chris and warn him," the moonchild whispered. "There's something on this island and it wants us all to suffer."

"Yeah," Courtney scoffed sleepily. "It's _Chris._ Go back to sleep Dawn."

"But-" Dawn protested before a pillow flew across the room and hit her in the face.

XXX

"I've been humoring Dawn and her 'powers'," Courtney told the outhouse. "But she if she disrupts our sleep cycle and makes us lose a challenge she is so out of here."

XXX

A lilting piano tune played over the morning sun, a bluebird flying by before the camera panned down to Britney picking blueberries off a bush. "And after being stranded in the Amazon for a few days I learned to be prepared for anything," she said as she put the berries into a wicker basket. "Better safe than sorry right?" she asked, the camera pulling back to show her talking to Dave.

Dave's eyes widened at the sound of the question, and he looked back over his shoulder at her. "Uh, right! I was listening," he told her.

XXX

"I wanna tell Britney how I feel," Dave confessed, his hands on his knees. "She's all I can think about! I just hope I don't do that thing I always do," he said in concern.

XXX

"Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any part of my childhood," Britney told Dave as they walked back through the forest together. "Having two cinematographers as parents meant I got to have some amazing adventures."

"Is that even a _real_ job?" Dave questioned in an almost mocking tone, causing Britney's eyes to briefly widen before she gave him a confused look. "I always thought it was something Californians made up," he said, twirling his finger around, "I mean most of the stuff you need for that can be done with a halfway decent phone and," Britney's confused look turned to a hurt stare, "...uh-oh," he stammered, finally noticing his teammate's expression.

XXX

"Yep," Dave told the outhouse camera, palming his face, "it's happening."

XXX

"If that's what you think, I can just shut up about-" Britney said dejectedly, holding her arm and walking away.

"Wait!" he said, taking her off-guard and causing her to stop and turn around. "I always say dumb things before I tell a girl I like her! Not that I'm always telling girls I like them," he added awkwardly as she gave him another confused look, "just cute ones!" Her face became hopeful. He cringed, not noticing Britney's change in expression. "Still...doing it...," he said to himself.

Dave took a breath, and a touching tune began to play. "I like you," he told Britney to her surprise and pleasure. "What I wanna know is...do you like me too?"

XXX

Britney started her confessional with a squeal. "He likes me back!" she cheered. "He really likes me back! This is the greatest day of my life! I guess Courtney was right about playing hard to get."

XXX

The footage cut back to Britney and Dave looking at one another. Then, suddenly, Britney squealed and tackled Dave to the ground in a hug.

"Uh, was that tackle a yes," he asked with a hopeful smirk, "or a no..." he frowned.

The camera panned to Britney, lying on top of him and giving him a brief disbelieving look before smiling again. "It was a yes," she told him. "Definitely a yes. I can't wait to tell our grand kids about this moment."

"Grand kids?" Dave asked in confusion. "What do you mean by-"

Britney cut him off by leaning down and kissing him as a light and touching tune played.

Their smiles were turned into confused stares by the whine of the camp intercom turning on "Wakey wakey campers," Chris announced in a taunting voice, the shot cutting away from Britney and Dave to show Katie yawning as she stood up, Justin sleepily sticking his head out of the front door of his team's bunker, and Dawn in lotus position looking up from the rock she was sitting on. "Everyone gather down by the lake!"

\

The scene flashed ahead to show all ten campers walking to the lake together, sorted into their teams with the Salmons in front and the Bears in back. The shot soon focused in on a touching tune playing as Dave looked back over his shoulder, gave Britney a dreamy look, then sighed.

The camera focused on Britney as she smiled and blushed, then the shot pulled back to show Courtney walking behind her.

"What's with him?" Courtney asked, the shot briefly cutting to Dave picking a flower up off a tall mound of dirt as he passed it, sniffing it, then sneezing. "He's worse than he was before. What happened to playing hard to get?"

"I did," Britney whispered happily. "And it totally worked! Thanks Courtney, you're a real friend."

"Uh, you're welcome," Courtney told her in unnoticed confusion. "Glad I could help."

"I told you it wouldn't work," Dawn said suddenly, causing the prep to gasp and turn around.

The camera panned forward onto Dave and Geoff walking side by side. "What's up with you dude? I don't think I've seen you this happy since we got here."

Dave smiled at him. "Love's a wonderful thing Geoff," the germaphobe said dreamily. "I told Britney how I felt and she tackled me to the ground, then kissed me."

Geoff held up a hand. "Dude! _Nice_! I _knew_ she wanted you man."

The two boys slapped five, then bumped fists.

XXX

"Who would've thought I'd not only get a girlfriend, but considered a party obsessed guy as one of my best friends?" Dave smiled. "I'm actually glad my mom made me audition for this place."

XXX

The static took the scene to the Salmons, the camera focusing in on Justin and Katie as they walked along in silence.

"So," Justin began with a flirtatious smile, "nice day, huh?"

"Yup," Katie answered shortly, not looking at the model. "For now, at least. I think it'll get worse once we get to the lake."

"Oh yeah," Justin said in a knowing tone, "totally. I shudder to think of what kind of 'challenge' Chris has in store for us today."

"You and me both," Katie said, still not looking at Justin.

XXX

"Okay, so I know I'm not that smart compared to the others," Katie told the outhouse. "But what Cam said last night made a lot of sense. Sadie and me were fine until Justin made that comment about liking one of us. And he hasn't even said anything about it since!"

She narrowed her eyes. "If he's the reason my BFFFL was sent home, then he needs to pay!"

XXX

"Is it me," Justin asked with a hand on his chin, "or is Katie being weird?" He shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to up my _flirtations_ , or at the very least make sure we don't lose this challenge."

XXX

The team logos appeared in the corner as the campers were shown to have arrived on the beach. Floating in the water a few feet away was a speedboat with Chef in the driver's seat, and Chris was standing atop its bow with his old red megaphone in hand.

"Today, we will be laughing as you risk your lives in the Smash, Splash, 1-2-3, X Dash!" The camera pulled back as he gave the challenge title, revealing a pair of detached wooden docks set up alongside each other in the lake. Each had a large area at one end in the color of one of the teams as well a small rack along the back side. These areas were at opposite ends of the challenge area, and extending from each was a longer, narrower platform that ran right alongside its counterpart on the opposite dock. At the far end of those platforms were smaller square platform, dueling sticks in their respective team's color piled on top. the Bears' platform was in the foreground and their colored area was on the left; the Salmons' platform was in the background and their colored area on the right.

"Players," Chris explained as the shot cut to a vertical splitscreen of the two platforms, team icons starting on each of the colored areas and rolling along the docks 'towards' each other, "have to cross the beams, grab a dueling stick from the end of the dock," the rolling icons reached their respective dueling stick piles, "bring it back to yours, and place it on the end of the board." The shot cut to the short three-hooked rack sitting on the end of the Salmons' dock. "Two dueling sticks make an X," the host explained as a pair of green-padded sticks popped into existence leaning against one of the hooks to make an X. 'Three Xs wins the challenge," he added as two more pairs of crossed dueling sticks popped into place along the Salmons' rack.

"Interesting," Justin said, the shot cutting to him as a sly and thoughtful look appeared on his face.

" _Anyone_ who messes with the other teams sticks," Chris leaned over to scold him, "will result in them losing the challenge."

"Thanks for clearin' that up man," Justin told him with a charming smile, Brick looking blankly at him while Katie rolled her eyes.

"Only one team member may cross at a time," Chris continued. "If you land in the drink, that turn gets you no points, so use that dueling stick to swat, trip, or bat your opponent into the water. This will be _awesome_ to see!"

"This challenge is _barbaric_!" Dawn cried.

"Just think of it like a chicken fight at a pool party," Geoff said with a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Uh, any particular order we go in?" Dave asked.

"You decide your own order," Chris answered. "But, each team member must go at least once."

"Yay...," Dave said, gulping nervously.

"Well, seems pretty straightforward," Britney commented as the camera panned onto her. "A nice easy challenge should do us all some good."

"Oh don't worry," Chris told her, "it'll be plenty hard. Especially for _you_. Chef?" he turned to his assistant and nodded, the man nodding back then standing up.

"Uh...what's going on?" Britney said slowly and with growing dread as ominous music began to build.

"I'm confiscatin' your backpack," Chef said with a dark smile, the camera pulling back to show him walking over with his hands behind his back.

Britney gasped.

"Yeah," Chris said with a devilish smirk as the shot cut back to him. "And while your at it, take Beverly's coat too."

"But why?" Britney asked as B removed his trenchcoat and handed it to Chef.

Chef cackled evilly, and the shot cut back to Chris. "Because you two have all sorts of hidden goodies in there that would tip this challenge in your favor. It's just no fun seeing you guys win like that."

"But-" Britney protested.

"Don't care," Chris said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "You're doing it. And if either of you refuse then you've got an automatic date with the canon. That means if Maskwak loses, they can lose up to _three_ players in one go."

Britney groaned, and Chef grinned as she handed him her backpack. "Thanks girlie," he said.

The shot cut to Chris being dropped off at another wooden dock by Chef, who was back in the driver's seat of the speedboat, and the host soon took a place next to the white deck chair and purple umbrella that had been set up on it. "Well with that all settled," he told the campers as a triumphant tune played, "iiiiit's game time! Swim to your docks and wait for my signal to start."

XXX

"It's so unfair of Chris to do this," Courtney complained. "Without B's tools and Britney's stuff, we're on _level_ _ground_ with the others!"

XXX

The scene moved to the Bears' starting dock as Dave surfaced next to Britney and gasped for air, then Geoff popped up on her other side with a hand on his hat. "Well then dudes," he said as he easily hauled himself up onto the dock, "let's get this challenge won!"

B, Dawn, and Courtney surfaced next with the prep promptly pulling herself up onto the platform as well, then offered her hands to Dawn and B. "Come on, I'll help you up," she told them.

B shook his head and pulled himself up with ease, and Courtney looked back at Dawn. "Umm, no thanks," she told her as she easily got out of the water as well.

A quick-pan put the focus on the Salmons, all four of them now on the dock as well though dripping wet. Justin grunted in disgust, and the camera focused in on him and Katie as he shook his hair dry. "Man, I was hoping that since we lost our bathing suits in that blimp explosion we wouldn't have to do any swimming...wouldn't have minded showing it off, though..." he added with an expectant look at Katie. "Uh, hello? Any comment on that?" he asked after noticing that Katie wasn't looking at him.

"Not really," Katie told him.

"Really?" Justin asked in confusion. " _Nothing_?"

A pan to the left showed Brick smiling with his hands on his hips. "Alright platoon," he said, "who wants to go first?"

"I'll do it!" Izzy volunteered enthusiastically, the camera moving further to the left onto her. "I'm totally stronger than I look." With that, she ran off with an eager smile.

Another quick-pan put the focus back on the Bears. "Me first," Dave volunteered. "We should save Britney's skills for tougher players," he explained.

The piercing wail of an airhorn made him flinch, and the shot cut to Chris reclining on his chair. "Go!" he shouted, and a tense challenge tune began as Dave ran off down his team's plank.

"Be careful, Dave!" Britney called out after him, causing Courtney to roll her eyes.

"Hahaha, yeah!" Izzy cheered as the shot cut back to him running along. "You better watch out, 'cause Izzy's taking you _down_!" she called out to Dave as the two passed each other, Dave raising an eyebrow as he watched his opponent run by.

Izzy was shown picking up a green dueling stick from her team's pile, then Dave was shown picking up a red one from the opposite end of the arena. He looked back nervously down the course, and the shot cut back to Izzy as she raised her stick high, closed her eyes, and let out a warbling battlecry as she ran back along the narrow path. Dave did the same though his cry was much more fearful, and the shot cut outward to show them running by each other without so much as taking a swipe.

"Seriously?" Chris said with an annoyed scowl from his seat. "Start hurting each other!" he yelled into his megaphone as the music turned deep and ominous. "Or I'll get _bored_ , and that will be bad news for _all_ of you!"

"Alright," Geoff said as the shot cut to Dave putting his stick on the Bears' rack, "time to show these Salmons who's the _boss_!" The party dude ran off with a confident smirk.

The shot then cut to Izzy returning to her teammates. "Woo! Point for us!" she cheered.

"Yeah, and point for _them_ , too," Katie pointed out. "I'm going next, I'll make sure only _we_ get a point this time," she said before running off.

Izzy hung her head in disappointment, and Justin put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry," he told her. " _I_ appreciate your effort." She looked at him and pursed her lips.

"Alright, time to make up for the balloon challenge," Geoff told himself before the shot cut outward to show him and Katie running by each other.

"I hope you like swimming Geoff!" Katie shouted.

"Same to you dudette!" Geoff replied. The challenge music ramped up as he slid to a stop beside his team's pile and picked up a dueling stick, Katie soon shown picking up one of her own from the opposite pile.

The shot cut to them meeting again in the center, Katie swinging her stick at Geoff only for the party dude to block it with the middle of his own. "Hah! It's gonna take a lot more than that to knock me off!" Geoff taunted as he pushed Katie's stick away, then jabbed with his own.

"I'm not going down without a fight!" Katie retorted, batting away the jab then swinging her stick back down at Geoff; the party dude ducked under it with a startled look.

"A little better," Chris conceded as the shot cut back to him, "but I'm still bored! Release," he said into a walkie-talkie, " _Scuba Bear_."

The camera moved back to a close-up of Katie and Geoff pushing their sticks against each other, struggling to get the upper hand. "Wait, who?" Katie asked in confusion, her opponent shooting a similar look back over his shoulder.

She was answered when a large brown bear wearing a diving mask and scuba tank jumped out of the water, roared, and swatted Geoff into the lake.

" _Geoff_!" Katie cried, looking at where the party dude had fallen. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Scuba Bear roared again, earning her attention and prompting her to scream and run back along the dock. Chris laughed, Katie reached her team's base, and Scuba Bear gave her a stern 'watching you' gesture. He then turned and gave the same gesture to the Bears, and the shot cut to B helping a dazed Geoff out of the water while Dave, Dawn, and Courtney shot fearful looks down the dock, and even Britney looked wary.

The music trilled tensely as Scuba Bear bit down on his mouthpiece then jumped backward into the lake, and the shot cut to Katie as her fear gave way to a self-assured calm as she put her dueling stick next to the one Izzy had gotten. "Katie completes Team Kinosewak's first X!" Chris announced all the while.

"Brick should go next," Justin said with a knowing nod. "He could knock any of those Bears out for sure."

Katie scoffed. "Can't _you_ handle it?" she asked rudely.

"Of course I can," Justin protested as Brick walked by.

"Don't worry team," Brick said. "I have this under control."

\

A flash took the shot to the Bears as Courtney rolled her eyes and stepped forward, her back towards the rest of the docks. "Okay, I'm up," she told her teammates. She turned and dashed off, but the focus lingered on her teammates.

"How do you think she's gonna react when she realizes she's up against Brick?" Dave asked with narrow, wary eyes.

"I don't know, but it's gonna be _wild_ ," Geoff said with a smile.

The music became slightly more intense as the scene cut back to Courtney, the shot zooming in as she raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what are _you_ doing out here?" she asked as the camera jumped back out to show her and Brick approaching one another.

"Getting a point for my team ma'am" Brick answered confidently as they passed each other by.

Brick was shown grabbing a dueling stick, then running back. "But I guess this'll have to be a draw," he said as he and his opponent approached one another. "After all, I can't hurt a lady."

"Luckily, _I_ can hit a gentleman!" Courtney countered, swinging her stick at Brick as soon as she was close enough.

The soldier frowned and blocked the swipe with his dueling stick. "I was hoping to avoid this," he sighed as the camera cut to his close-up. "But if that's the case-" he was interrupted with a sharp and wailing guitar as his eyes widened.

The camera pulled out to show Courtney's dueling stick was embedded in his crotch, then cut to the Bears' platform to show B, Geoff, and Dave wincing while covering their crotches, then to Justin doing the same, then to Brick as he fell into the water.

XXX

"Remind me not to get on Courtney's bad side," Dave told the outhouse with a shudder.

XXX

The shot cut to a close-up of Brick floating in the lake; whimpering as he swam through the water.

"And Courtney has found her mojo!" Chris announced with a giddy smile before the shot cut to the other members of the Bears.

"Uhh...good job, Courtney," Britney told the prep as she returned with dueling stick in hand.

"There's nothing to it," Courtney replied as he hung up the stick and completed her team's first X.

"If you say so..." Dawn said uncertainly.

XXX

"I told you I wasn't distracted by Brick," Courtney confessed smugly. "Sure he's cute, but so's a million dollars!"

XXX

"And Maskwak ties things up," Chris told the camera as it moved to him, the capstone theme beginning in the background, "And Kinosewak's resident soldier takes a hit to the _privates_. Will they be able to come back, or will Maskwak take the lead?"

It was then that Brick surfaced behind his platform and pulled herself up to it. "Not if I have anything to say about it," Justin said lowly.

Chris looked from her back to the camera. "See for yourselves after the break. Right here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

"Whoa, are you alright?" Izzy asked as the scene faded in to her helping Brick back onto the Salmons' starting dock.

"Nothing hurt but my pride," Brick answered, wincing slightly as he walked.

"Looks like it's my turn," Justin said as he ran away, the camera lingering on him as he scowled.

XXX

"I have to be _extra_ careful," Justin told the confessional. "This challenge could do some serious damage to my beauty."

XXX

"Okay, I guess I'm up," Britney told her team.

"Good luck!" Dave said quickly and enthusiastically, taking her hand. "I mean, not like you'll _need_ it or anything, I mean it is just Justin."

"Thanks!" Britney said with a large smile before reluctantly tugging her hand away and running off.

A deep, no-nonsense tune began to play as the shot cut to Britney and Justin passing each other by. "Good luck swimming back to your team!" Justin taunted, smiling and winking. Britney just narrowed her eyes upon reaching her pile of dueling sticks.

XXX

"I'm not used to not having my backpack everywhere I go," Brittney confessed. "But that doesn't mean I'm incapable without it."

XXX

An ominous chanting started to play as the two ran at each other once more, Justin smirking as he prepared to strike and Britney still narrowing her eyes. The footage slowed down as she went into a feet-first slide, sticking out her dueling stick and using it to trip Justin. The pacing returned to normal as Justin let out a startled scream, and plunged forward off the dock and into the lake.

XXX

"See," Britney smiled. "I told you."

XXX

A tense tune played over a close-up of a few bubbles on the surface of the lake, Justin soon surfacing from beneath them. The camera pulled back as Scuba Bear surfaced to the left, causing Justin to scream in fear and swim off towards his team's starting dock.

"Britney makes it back, finishing Maskwak's _second_ X," Chris announced over a shot of the globetrotter happily slotting her dueling stick into place. "But, they still have two more players that have to make a run while Kinosewak can stick to their more capable players."

B nodded at Dawn, then made a run for the dueling sticks.

The shot cut to B and Izzy passing each other, then to B picking up his dueling stick. "You can do it B!" He perked up at the sound of Dawn's voice, and the shot cut to his teammates cheering him on.

"Go, Izzy!" Katie cheered, the next shot cutting to the Salmons all cheering on the wildcard.

Izzy smirked, then swung her dueling stick hard.

A sharp note played as B blocked it. He raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips while Izzy's face dropped into a frown. He pushed his stick at her, but she didn't budge.

"Okay, I'm like _so_ not going down easily," she told him. "There's just no way."

The tense challenge music resumed in full force as both began to push against each other, both trying to knock their opponent back but neither succeeding. The cheers of their teammates soon rose up over the music, and the shot cut first to the Bears and then to the Salmons again. Justin's eyes narrowed thoughtfully, a sly smirk formed on his lips, and then he let out a dramatic gasp. "Oh my gosh, is that Scuba Bear behind Beverly?"

B immediately glanced down at the water, allowing Izzy to shove him into the water as the music finally peaked. She ran back off down the dock, and the camera panned down to B as he surfaced with an angry scowl.

"Sorry dude," Justin said unconvincingly as the shot moved to the Salmons, Izzy setting her dueling stick on their board in the background. "I guess I'm seeing things."

"Team Kinosewak catches up!" Chris announced from his lounge chair. "Each team is halfway there, meaning there's still plenty of pain left to come."

The shot cut back to the rest of the Bears as Courtney sighed. "Well, there goes our winning streak," she remarked, quickly drawing dirty looks from Dawn and Dave.

"B did the best he could," Dawn told him. "It's not his fault Justin played dirty."

"Yeah, but it is his fault that he fell for it," Courtney countered.

"Come on, you can't blame him for wanting to watch out for Scuba Bear," Dave said. "You would've done the same thing!"

Courtney scoffed. " _I_ would've found a way to do it that didn't involve losing the point."

Dawn and Dave opened their mouths to respond but the sound of water splashing distracted them, and the camera followed their gazes onto B as he climbed back up onto the dock. He held a hand up then pointed to himself and sagged a bit.

"Well in that case," Dawn spoke up, stepping forward, "I suppose I should go next," she said with an uncertain grimace.

"Yes you should," Courtney said. "But after that you and Dave need to sit back and let people who are actually _good_ at this game take the wheel."

XXX

"What?" she defended. "It's called being a _leader_. Those two just aren't built for this kind of challenge."

XXX

"My turn," Katie told her teammates before running off, a slow but tense tune beginning in the background. The camera cut to her and Dawn passing each other, the taller girl smirking dangerously and giving her opponent a quick wave. "I hope you're ready for a swim!" she taunted.

The shot cut to a close-up of Dawn's nervous face as she groaned. "By the Earth Mother, please don't let me get eaten!"

Dawn was shown grabbing her dueling stick from the pile, then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and started running. The camera pulled out to show her running back along the dock...

...then Katie appeared from the left, and the music spiked as she smacked Dawn into the water with ease as she passed by.

"And Kinosewak completes their _second_ X!" Chris announced from the sidelines.

The rest of the Bears were cheering as the shot cut to Katie rejoining them, adding her stick to their rack with a grin on her face. "How was that?" she boasted.

"Not as impressive as you think," Justin said. "She's like four feet tall."

"Dawn doesn't seem to be that capable compared to some of the others," Brick added.

Katie scowled. "Well fine then, why don't one of _you_ do better?"

"I intend to ma'am," Brick said, walking forward with a salute. "I need make up for my first loss."

"Well try not to come back with out a stick," Justin called out as Katie narrowed her eyes.

XXX

"Cam was right," Katie confessed. "Justin hasn't done _anything_ all season!"

XXX

"Prepare to take a swim ma'am," Brick said as the shot cut to him and Courtney running past each other, the music once again becoming low and tense.

"I could say the same to you!" Courtney countered.

The shot cut to her reaching her team's pile of dueling sticks, but the camera panned over to the rest of the Salmons waiting nearby. "Hey Izzy," Justin said in a suave voice, standing behind the girls and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Huh?" Izzy grunted, turning first her body and then her distracted face towards him. "What's going on?" she asked before glancing back in the direction of their dock.

Justin walked around to the front of the wildcard. "I think it'd be a good idea if I left the rotation during the rest of the challenge. Y'know, so I don't lose any of my _modeling_ contracts back home."

Katie and Izzy both raised an eyebrow at each other.

"Especially my abs," he continued, pulling his shirt off and gesturing to his torso. "Now as you can see, I don't _just_ have a six-pack. I got _twelve_. That's a dozen smokin' hot man-dominals."

The camera moved back to the side as Izzy and Katie didn't look too impressed.

Justin blinked, taken slightly off-guard. "Nothing? When were your last eye exams?"

XXX

"I think my control over the girls is slipping," Justin confessed worriedly. "But how?"

XXX

Once more the tense challenge music resumed as the static cut away to show Courtney and Brick clashing with dueling stick pressed against dueling stick. "Hey, you're not too bad!" the cadet said.

"Of course I'm not," Courtney replied.

"Too bad I have a couple years of military training to draw on in situations like these," Brick said, the camera moving behind Courtney as he started rotating his stick.

"Oh yeah?" Courtney replied, the shot catching her smirk before cutting back to show her abruptly step away and draw her stick back, causing Brick to suddenly lose balance.

"Whoa-oa!" he cried, windmilling one arm as he leaned forward precariously on one foot.

Courtney drew back her own stick, then with a powerful grunt swung at Brick's face. The cadet quickly recovered, grabbing the end of Courtney's stick and yanking hard enough that the two ended up with their faces inches apart on the same platform, both of them furiously blushing.

"You're quite the worthy opponent," Brick told her nervously before taking a step back, unbalancing the prep enough that she fell into the water.

The footage skipped ahead to him rejoining his cheering team, sharing a high five with Izzy before placing his dueling stick on their rack. "And with that," Chris announced, "Pimâpotew Kinosewak need only one more dueling stick to win!"

The Confused Bears groaned as the shot cut to them. B scowled and stepped forward. A few deep notes played as he adjusted his hat, not bothering to look back at his teammates. The camera panned back to show Dawn helping Courtney out of the water, both looking anxiously towards the side.

\

A flash took the scene back to the Floating Salmon as Justin stepped forward. "Alright soldier, you got this," Brick said, giving the model a slap on the back.

"At least we hope you do," Katie chimed in.

"Oh don't worry, I do," Justin said confidently. He started to walk forward, only to stop and gulp at his opponent.

"Just _go_ already!" Katie yelled. Startling the boy into running.

The shot cut to Justin and B passing one another on the docks. B pointed to Justin and then to the water with a smirk on his face.

As he reached his pile of dueling sticks the camera moved back onto the other members of the Salmons, quickly focusing in on Katie and Izzy as they huddled together. "Do you think he can do it?" the wildcard whispered.

"Probably not," Katie admitted with a shrug.

"After really paying attention to him and thinking over the last few days," Izzy whispered back, "I _really_ wish I hadn't voted out Cam."

\

The tense challenge music resumed as the scene cut back to B and Justin, now running towards one another with dueling sticks in hand. "Not the face!" Justin cried, upon seeing B raise his stick high and swing it hard. "Or the neck! Hands, legs, knees, feet, or anything in the chestial region!"

B stopped and scratched his head in confusion.

A dramatic riff suddenly played, and Scuba Bear leaped from the water and landed in front of Justin with a roar. B's face fell into wide-eyed opened-mouthed shock before running off.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" Justin said as the camera panned back to him facing off with Scuba Bear. "You could seriously hurt me," he gestured to his still shirtless torso as his leitmotif played.

Scuba Bear looked down at the model with a blank look, then roared ferociously and brought his right forepaw down hard on him. Justin had to quickly block with his dueling stick. "Uh-oh," he said blankly just before Scuba Bear hit him in the face with his left forepaw, knocking him into the water.

"Ahahahahaha!" Chris laughed, wiping away a tear as the shot cut back to him. "That's what I wanted to see. Keep that up Scuba Bear, or else you're toast."

The shot cut back to Scuba Bear glaring towards the host, then grunting and jumping back into the water.

Dawn and Dave and even Courtney were all cheering as the camera cut back to them, B rejoining them and placing his dueling stick on their rack. "And Maskwak makes their second X!" Chris announced from off-screen. "They're catching up, but they still have to be careful."

"I'm next," Dave volunteered as he and his teammates looked away from the direction of the host.

"You can't be serious," Courtney scoffed. "I've had _dolls_ that weren't as scrawny as you."

"Let him go," Britney said. "If he thinks he can do it, I believe him."

"Yeah, dude's got this," Geoff told her, lifting his hat a bit and smiling cheekily.

\

Brick hauled Justin up out of the water and onto their dock. "Stupid bear," the model said, lying wet on his belly.

"We're still in this," Katie said uncertainly.

"Exactly," Brick said. "We still only need one more dueling stick to win this, so let's-"

"Izzy is _on_ it!" Izzy announced with great enthusiasm before running off. "Yeah!"

At the sound of her cheer her teammates looked over at her in shock. "Wait!" Brick said, reaching out to her too late. A dull note played as his arm flopped back down, and he frowned in growing unease. "We need a plan..."

The intense challenge music resumed once more as the scene cut to Izzy and Dave passing one another on the narrow dock. Izzy was shown eagerly picking up her dueling stick, then Dave was shown looking nervous as he picked up his, and finally the two were running back towards each other.

"Woo hoo!" Izzy cheered, raising his stick high and shaking it. "Time for Izzy to win again!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Dave countered nervously as the camera swung around to him.

The music spiked as Izzy swung her dueling stick, only for Dave to gasp and duck under it and out of sight. "Wha-?" she muttered in surprise, just before the camera panned down to Dave and showed him crouching. With a smirk he thrust his dueling stick at Izzy's legs, knocking them out from under her causing the wildcard to fall onto her belly with a crash, landing on the side of the dock. A second blow moments later, this time to the face, pushed her backwards and into the water.

Dave smiled, then continued running. His teammates cheered as he rejoined them, and the camera quickly focused in on Geoff and Courtney. "I told you he could handle it," Geoff said.

XXX

Izzy laughed nervously. "Whoops..."

XXX

"Tie game!" Chris announced, the music becoming tense yet again. "Next dueling stick on the board is for the win!"

"Okay, I'll take this one," Britney said as the shot cut to the Bears.

"You better not lose this for us," Courtney warned.

Britney frowned. "Hey, I can-"

"Don't worry, Courtney," Dave interrupted, "Britney's good at practically everything! She'll be fine." B and Dawn nodded their agreement.

"Thanks, Dave, I-" Britney tried to say.

"Fine," Courtney conceded. "Just go already," she said to Britney in an impatient tone, jerking her head towards the right.

Britney smiled and ran off.

\

A flash took the scene to the Salmons as Justin narrowed his eyes. "I'm going again," he declared, running off before the others could object.

Tense music started as the camera cut to Justin and Britney running past one another once more. "You better get ready!" Justin called out in a mocking voice.

"Oh, I am...," Britney replied under her breath, narrowing her eyes in a close-up.

The shot cut to Justin as he arrived at his team's pile of sticks, lingering for a second as he bent over. He glanced over at the Bears, and the camera pulled back to show them cheering for Britney.

"Yeah! That's my girl!" Dave called out enthusiastically, and the shot cut back to Justin as his eyes narrowed and a devious smile formed on his face.

XXX

"I think I just found a new mojo," he confessed devilishly.

XXX

The static cut away to Britney and Justin locking sticks as the music spiked dramatically. "So," Justin said loudly, "how does it feel having such a _crappy_ boyfriend?"

"Hey, don't call him that," Britney said in offense.

"Don't listen!" Dave called out, the two looking towards the left before the camera quick-panned onto him. "He's trying to distract you!"

The shot cut back to Britney as she narrowed her eyes and glared at Justin. "Dave is _not_ -" she said harshly before getting hit in the face by Justin's dueling stick and falling backward into the lake.

"Yes!" Justin cheered as Britney surfaced with a furious splutter. "Thanks for the win," he taunted, leaning over and putting a hand on his hip.

The music spiked dramatically as Scuba Bear burst up from the left, splintering a portion of the Salmons' dock as he broke through it and landing behind Justin. He roared and swiped at the model, but he quickly ran off with a terrified scream. The camera lingered as he grunted in disappointment, then looked towards Britney who yelped and swam off. Scuba Bear grunted in disappointment again.

"Team Kinosewak wins!" Chris announced through his megaphone, and the shot cut to Brick, Katie, and Izzy cheering as Justin placed his dueling stick on the board to complete their third and final X.

Then the shot cut over to the Bears groaning, Britney joining in as Dave helped her out of the water. "Sorry I distracted you Britney," Dave said.

"Well I wasn't gonna let some jerk insult you," Britney shot back. "As far as I'm concerned," she hugged him, "it was worth it." The camera panned over to Courtney crossing her arms with a glare.

\

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of the campers walking back through the forest, the camera quickly focusing in on Katie and Izzy at the back of the Salmons' group.

"Well he _did_ win the challenge for us," Izzy pointed out, implying the conversation started before the camera focused on them.

"Yeah," Katie grunted, "but you saw how he did it. I think we should vote him off as soon as we get a chance. How about we form a girls' alliance?" she offered a hand to the wildcard. "Then we can work together to keep Justin from distracting us when it counts."

Izzy brought a hand to her chin, then accepted the handshake. "You gotta deal."

XXX

"Today just proved Cameron right as far as I'm concerned," Katie said. "And I swear I'll stop at nothing until Justin is shot out the canon!"

XXX

The static took the scene to Dave and Courtney, walking just ahead of the Salmons. "I can't believe we lost again," Dave sighed as she stared straight forward.

Courtney stopped in her tracks and wheeled around on him. "I know," she said. "But we have an even bigger problem."

"Oh, like who we're voting off?" Dave asked. "Because I was thinking of going after Dawn because of how she's not really helpful to the team. Of course, _I'm_ not all that helpful either," he admitted, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, I overheard some of the others talking," Courtney said seriously. "And they wanna send _Britney_ home."

"Britney?" Dave asked in concern. "But she's our best player!"

"Not today she wasn't," Courtney pointed out. "I just wish there was some way to save her. But the others are dead set in their votes..." she sighed and walked away, leaving Dave to purse his lips thoughtfully.

XXX

"Don't judge me okay," Courtney told the confessional. "I'm doing this for the good of the team."

XXX

The elimination theme began to play as the footage skipped forward to the usual shot of the nighttime island. All six Confused Bears were already seated on the logs and rocks and barrels, Dave and Britney sitting on a particularly long one in front with Courtney off to the right and Geoff, Dawn, and B seated in back. Chris was standing at his podium, and the Floating Salmon were standing beside him.

"Everything's going to be okay," Dave whispered in Britney's ear. "I promise."

"What are you talking about?" Britney asked before they both turned their heads to the side as Chris cleared his throat.

"To the victors, go the spoils," he announced as the camera cut to him and the Floating Salmon. "Compliments of Spoiley's Secondhand Food Emporium," he said, a game show jingle playing as he took out a greasy paper bag with the image of a spotty and half-eaten apple on the side, and presented it to the winning team. "Where one man's _trash_ , is another man's _tapeworm_ ," he told the camera with a cheesy grin. "Think fast!" he said before tossing it to the Salmons, Izzy catching it with a smile while her teammates recoiled in disgust.

"Okay," he turned back to the Bears and folded his arms behind his back, "it's time to vote."

XXX

The static cut to a five-way split-screen showing Courtney, Britney, Geoff, B, and Dawn all casting their votes with little hesitation.

XXX

"Now," Chris said as the footage moved back to him and the plate of marshmallows he was holding and the widescreen TV he was standing next to, "one of you gots to go. Beverly," he tossed the first marshmallow to the genius who caught it without so much as a flinch, "you're safe. As for everyone else, I'd say you all messed up pretty badly today," he explained as the camera cut to and panned across the anxious faces of Britney, Dave, Courtney, Geoff, and Dawn. "Enough to justify any one of you going home! But luckily for Dawn and Geoff," the two in question brightened up as they were tossed marshmallows, "that's not gonna happen. _Yet_ ," he added with a laugh.

"But as it happens, we have a _special_ case for tonight's elimination," Chris continued, the camera briefly moving to the campers as they perked up. "I think I'll let _Dave_ do the talking," he said with a devious grin, stepping aside as the camera focused in on the television.

XXX

"Courtney said the others wanted to send Britney home," Dave told the outhouse. "So I'm quitting to save her. After all, she deserves the money more than I do."

XXX

The static cut away to show Britney gaping in shock, a deep note playing. "Wh-what?" she stammered. "Dave! Why would you do that?" she turned to her team. "And how could you all vote for me?!"

"Hey!" Geoff said sharply, standing up and putting a hand on his chest. "I was planning on voting for Courtney! Girl's been _major_ harsh ever since we got here! And we all agreed."

Courtney gulped nervously. "Well I thought-"

It was then that Dawn spoke up. "She knew _exactly_ what she was doing," she interrupted. "Courtney's been scheming to keep you and Dave apart from day one."

The music spiked, and her teammates gasped. " _WHAT_?!" Britney and Dave exclaimed at the same time.

"Courtney!" Britney said to the prep with tears in her eyes. "How _could_ you?! I.. I thought we were friends!"

The shot cut back to Courtney as she nervously glanced around the glares of her teammates. "I was trying to help the team!" she defended.

"You were trying to help yourself," Dawn replied, shaking her head sadly. "And you've failed."

Chris was laughing as the shot cut to him, and he wiped away a tear. "As _hilarious_ as this is," he said. "It's time for the end this episode with a bang."

\

A flash took the scene to the Cannon of Shame, Dave loaded into its barrel. "Can't I take back my resignation?" he asked as the somber farewell theme played in the background.

"Sorry, bro," Chris said as the camera panned down to him and the remote in his hand, "but all eliminations are final. Guess you won't be living up to your cousin after all," he said with a smile before happily pressing the button.

Dave was shot into the night, his final yell of "I love you, Britney!" trailing off over the lake.

The camera cut back to Chris as he sighed contentedly, then panned up to Britney sitting on the ground and crying into her knees while Dawn patted her on the back.

She lifted up her head just long enough to say "I love you too, Dave," before sobbing again.

The capstone theme began to play as the scene moved back to Chris, still standing by the Cannon of Shame. "Love can make people do some crazy things," he told the camera with a smile. "Wanna know who's next to be gone? It won't be long! Right here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** I'm really proud of this chapter's title.

I'm sorry I had to send Dave home. My goal with his subplot was to have it start off developing the same as canon, but with Britney being more enthusiastic about the pairing than he was I couldn't exactly let it play out as long. Plus as much as I like Dave, after this episode he really started to go downhill. This way I could preserve the goofy oddball he was at the start of the canon season.

There was also the added benefit of establishing Courtney as a threat. But I want to point out that while what she did was bad, she did have a point. You see, my plan for Courtney is to have her as a villain, but one who does that things she thinks are necessary for her team. Hypocrisy aside. Think of her as an anti-villain. I hope that makes her more likable to the people out there.

That being said, it's time that I reveal the season's big twist. This time, there is no _main_ antagonist. Instead, I've divided the season into separate 'arcs' where one person will have the role for various reasons. This episode marks the transition from the Justin arc (His primary method of scheming has become dismantled by Cameron's warning) to the Courtney arc (Despite having pragmatic intentions, her team's not going to treat her too kindly after this, and she will react accordingly.) There will be one more arc before the game is done, and each arc may not necessarily end in that person's elimination.

Overall, this episode was probably the most different in terms of structure in a long time. Without the Shawn subplot I had more time to devote to the challenge; without Topher around to make Chris insecure the Slowtox jokes had to be cut; and without that and Ella there wasn't really a good way to have Scuba Bear attack Chris, which was my biggest regret. I'm sorry for disappointing those of you who wanted to see that stuff, it just wasn't in the cards.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave


	6. Mo' Mokey Mo' Problems

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry for how late this is. Lack of internet coupled with lack of motivation just made for a really hard writing experience. But I'm back and will hopefully be caught up by the end of the week so check back daily because there might be more updates. Props to anyone who guessed that the title of last week's episode was a reference to Red Dead Redemption. That was an awesome game btw and I recommend it. Speaking of games, the new Civilization VI expansion looks great, and if a certain leak is to be believed, Canada will be a playable civ.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

 **ANNOUNCMENT:** Due to my band geek roots, I've made one of the new Rindonculous Race teams a couple of band geeks themselves. Their names are Andrew and Elliot, both are OC's that failed to make the cut for Danger Island, and I can't wait for you to meet them.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Guest:**_ Well that was the exact reaction I wanted from both Skytor and Brave, so thanks. And I'm not divulging anything about the monster just yet.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ I don't know about Dawn making it that far, but she is pretty safe for the time being. It's a little early to speculate on the third arc. Just sayin'...

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ My thoughts exactly with Dave. I agree with you on canon Skave. The really annoying thing is that even if you didn't want them to end up, there were about a hundred different ways to do it better than that. Interesting you took my last response as Amy being the monster. I was just referring to the entrance.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ True sometimes a character works best when they're sent home early

 _ **That British Guy:**_ She thought Britney's crush was distracting her from the game. And she's kinda right.

 _ **Jubilee Jugsaw**_ **:** Thanks. I hated what they did to Dave in canon too. Hence the differing plot.

 _ **Guest 1138:**_ Thanks. But to be honest, I could've ended Dave's plot with him being abducted by potato people to be their king in a war against Brazil and it'd still be better than canon.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Now now. We haven't heard Courtney's side yet. I'm really excited for the third antagonist. You have a point about Dave, but last episode is kinda the root in all that. Katie and Geoff interactions aren't really taking precedent at the moment, but they'll start up in earnest next chapter.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks. I'm surprised at how much comedy I can pull from Justin. Oh, this is just the tip of the likable Courtney iceberg. Yeah, the Shuffledverse version of Dave left a real bad taste in my mouth for some reason.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ Well there's just not a lot left I can do with Justin as a villain. Courtney on the other hand has quite a bit of potential.

 _ **TheChrisanthemum:**_ Admittedly, a character reminiscing about their time on the show is a bit of a giveaway.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Britney, Courtney, Dawn, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Izzy, Justin, Katie

Time for one of these guys to make a splash, then get shot out of a canon

* * *

 **Episode 06: Mo' Monkey Mo' Problems**

"Last time, on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!" Chris said, the opening shot of the sunlit island giving way to a clip of Britney and Justin's first round against each other, ending with Britney sweeping the model off his feet with a dueling stick. "The teams battled in a Smash, Splash," the next clip of the recap montage showed Courtney jamming her dueling stick into Brick's crotch, and was followed by Katie completing the second X for her team, "and 1-2-3 X Dash."

"Got to meet Scuba Bear," Chris continued over a clip of the bear jumping out of the water and swatting Geoff into it. "That's right," the bear was then shown interrupting Justin and B's stand-off, " _Scuba Bear_."

"Katie and Izzy stopped falling for Justin's charms," the host continued as the two girls didn't react to the shirtless model, "forcing him to _actually_ help his team for once." the model was shown grabbing a dueling stick from his team's pile, "but still manage to not do much," Chris added with a laugh over clips of Justin being knocked into the water by the other team.

"Britney and Dave _finally_ hooked up," Chris continued over a clip of Dave confessing his feelings to Britney, followed by their kiss, "and then she lost it for her team by caring more about _Dave,_ than the _game_." Britney was shown talking to Courtney about the relationship, then being distracted by Justin in the final round, and lastly the model placing the final dueling stick on the Salmons' board. "And thanks to Courtney's meddling," Courtney was shown talking to Dave after the challenge, "Dave quit the competition in a pointless sacrifice," Chris said as the rest of the Bears were shown reacting to Dave's resignation, then the germaphobe being shot out of the Canon of Shame.

"We're down to nine, which is great," Chris told the camera as it cut to him. "And it's soon to be eight! Who'll go kaput? And who'll stay put? Let's find out, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A grand tune started off the musical score as the episode opened on the Confused Bears' treefort. The scene soon cut inside to the girls' half of the living area, Britney lying facedown on her bunk and crying while Dawn patted her back comfortingly.

"Why would she do this?" Britney asked between sniffles. "I thought we were friends. I thought she was helping me!"

"I've seen her aura," Dawn said. "I honestly can't tell if she meant to betray your trust or if she truly thought she was helping."

"Splitting me up from the love of my life?" Britney asked incredulously. "How was that helping! She's just a self-absorbed user who only cares for herself!"

The camera panned over to Courtney standing in the entryway. After a few moments, she hung her head and sighed.

XXX

"I really _was_ trying to help her," Courtney confessed sadly. "Britney was way too focused on her relationship with Dave. That wasn't healthy!"

She looked down at her lap and sighed. "And now the girls both hate me."

XXX

"And now both of my roommates hate me..." Courtney said as the static cut away to a frontal shot of her and Brick picking berries off a bush. "It's not my fault. I was trying to do right by the team!" The viewpoint moved behind them as they put their haul into the satchels slung over their shoulders messenger bag-style, then continued on to the left. "I mean, don't get me wrong," the prep continued after Brick gave her a patient look, "I don't have a problem with showmances, but they _can't_ get in the way of the game. And now, I don't even think I'm _worthy_ of being the team leader."

Brick nodded his head, and the camera pulled back a foot or so as they stopped at another berry bush and began to pick from it. "I think you made the right call. Being a leader isn't just about being large and in charge, you also have to be willing to make the tough decisions and living with the consequences. Especially the last part," he said, the shot cutting in closer. "I mean, look at the balloon challenge," he said, "I didn't want to split up Katie and Sadie's friendship, but they lost us the challenge and Katie was more athletic. For what it's worth, I think you're a great leader."

"Thanks Brick," Courtney said with a blushing smile as they stored their latest pickings and moved on.

"And besides, they can't be mad at you forever." Brick continued. "I mean, I'm not really sure what exactly you did, but I know there have been people on the show who've done a lot worse."

"It was pretty bad," Courtney admitted, rubbing her arm nervously.

Brick pursed his lips. "Well then, maybe you should take some time and forget leadership," he told her. "Spend some time with friends and forget about the competition for a time. The cadets call it 'Mandatory R&R'."

Courtney scoffed. "It doesn't work like that in my family," she said with a sad smile. "You work every waking minute towards your success, any time spent that you don't is wasted. I can be happy once I win."

As the prep began to walk away, the camera focused in on the frown that formed on Brick's face. "And what would happen if you burned yourself out?" the soldier asked as he followed. "You're not too far gone until _you_ believe you are."

The camera panned back to Courtney as she sighed. "Fine. If I'm still here, I'll try R&R tomorrow. But if it doesn't make me feel better then I'm going back to being a full-time leader. Deal?"

"Affirmative," Brick said, snapping off a quick salute. "I always did like a challenge!"

XXX

"Okay, Brick's a really sweet guy," Courtney calmly confessed. "But even _if_ I was looking for a relationship I couldn't go for it. Especially after what I did yesterday. That'd just make me a giant hypocrite."

XXX

A few deep notes played as the scene moved to Geoff, Katie, and Izzy, the camera directly in front of them as they sat on a large rock on the beach and held onto makeshift fishing poles. The shot cut in for a close-up of Izzy as his eyes narrowed in suspicion; the viewpoint switched to another rock just offshore, then back to Izzy as she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, am I crazy?" Izzy said as the shot moved back in front of her, Geoff and Katie and she pointed at the rock she'd been looking at. "That rock wasn't here yesterday, was it?"

Katie looked at the rock in question, the shot cutting to it and then back to her raising an eyebrow as well. "No crazier than usual," Katie said. "That rock _definitely_ wasn't there yesterday. Come to think of it," she said, looking down at the rock they were sitting on, " _This_ one wasn't here either!"

"Hey, yeah!" Izzy said, standing up in outrage...that quickly passed into confusion. "But...that can't be right. Rocks don't just...show up overnight."

They looked at Geoff, who shrugged. "Don't look at me, I don't know anything about rocks. Maybe we're at the wrong stream or something?"

"We are?" Izzy wondered, looking around and scratching her head. "I guess we must be. Not the first time _that's_ happened," she said with a chuckle as she sat down. "But hey, I'm just glad I'm not the only one noticing weird things."

XXX

"Izzy's totally not buying it," the wildcard said while rubbing her shin in thought. "There's something loco about this island."

She chuckled. "Okay. between the island and Hottie McHotsuff, I'm like totally a detective. I could've won that mystery challenge back in season two like _that_ ," she snapped her fingers.

XXX

The background music became low and tense as the scene cut back to Courtney and Brick walking together through the forest with satchels of fruit and lines of fish. "Hey, teens!" Chris suddenly announced over the camp loudspeakers.

"Aww, why now?" Courtney promptly complained as the two stopped and looked up.

"Proceed to the meeting area," Chris continued, the shot cutting to the booming loudspeaker. "It's time for me to laugh at your pain! There'll also be a challenge."

As he spoke, the camera moved back to the two as Brick smiled. "Alright," he said eagerly. "Sorry Courtney, it's been a pleasure," he saluted her, "but the competition is back on." He turned and ran off with, and the focus moved to the Courtney as she blushed and smiled, then ran off as well.

\

The scene flashed ahead to the meeting area, the team logos appearing over their respective sides. All the campers save for Britney, Courtney, and Brick were present; Chris and Chef were there as well in the back center, the assistant standing behind some sort of box on a pedestal and the host standing next to a vending machine of all things. The machine seemed almost ordinary, a faded salmon color and with a large circular signboard sticking out of the top – which bore the image of a familiar salmon-colored bag of snacks with a fish tail for a logo...

"Where's Brick?" Katie asked worriedly, crossing her arms and looking around. "He usually beats us here."

Izzy shrugged as the camera moved onto her. "I don't know. Maybe there's something going on with him and Courtney and they lost track of time."

Justin let out a barking laugh. "Brick? Charming a girl? I'll believe it when I see it."

The camera cut to B as he mimed taking a bite out of an apple, then tossed it over his shoulder.

"Good point," Dawn said. "They're probably just dropping the food they collected at our shelters."

XXX

"Man, it's weird how Dawn always seems to know what you're thinking," Geoff said. "It's awesome. But it's weird."

XXX

"I'm giving the others _one more minute_ ," Chris said irritably, checking his wristwatch as the camera cut in closer to him. "Then they're cannon food."

Just then the shot cut to the heads of the three Bears present turning to the left, and an odd but jolly tuba melody played as the shot cut to Courtney running up. "I know! I'm late!" Courtney said irritably. "Just add it to the list of stuff I've _messed up_."

"Planning on it," Geoff said tersely.

Courtney looked to see B rolling his eyes and Dawn looking neutral, then sighed and sat down.

"Where's Britney?" she asked.

"Last I saw she was still crying her eyes out after you sent her boyfriend home," the party boy accused.

XXX

"Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh with Courtney," Geoff admitted. "But Dave was like my little buddy, and what she did to him was... It just wasn't cool man."

XXX

A military drumline played as the scene cut to Brick running up to his team from the left. "Sorry I'm late," he announced. "Now who's ready for today's challenge?"

"I am!" Izzy said enthusiastically, high-fiving Brick as he ran past to sit down at the end of the log.

"It's always nice to see your enthusiasm," the cadet remarked as he sat down.

Courtney scowled at the wildcard from across the way, then huffed. "Seriously, where's Britney?" she asked, looking around.

"Here I am..." Britney answered, the camera following her teammates' gazes to the left to show her running up and taking her spot next to Geoff. "Sorry for taking so long, I'm just not feeling very well today. And I'm just starting to notice how odd this island is."

The shot cut to Chris crossing his arms and scowling. "And how could this island _possibly_ seem odd?"

"Well," Britney said thoughtfully, pursing her lips and tilting her head, "there's the Chinese Mulberry Bush in the forest, the trees that I marked for navigation seem to have disappeared..."

"Oh, oh, and also," Izzy piped up enthusiastically, "and that mountain totally wasn't there yesterday...," she said with a strangely serious expression, pointing off into the distance.

A few ominous notes played as the shot cut back to Chris, his brow furrowing even more. "Yeah, like the two of you have _any_ credibility. You're just seeing things, there's nothing out of the ordinary about this island."

XXX

"So I'm not the only one who's noticed the strangeness of this place," Dawn said. "That's... comforting."

XXX

"Today's challenge is called 'Snack Attack'," Chris began, the usual exposition theme playing as the logos once more reappeared above their respective teams. "This vending machine _only_ takes gold coins," he explained with a motion to the machine as the shot cut in closer. "The first team to get _their_ gold coin into the machine wins, _and_ gets something to eat."

"Seems easy enough," Justin remarked with a cool smile.

"I was hoping one of you would say something like that," Chris replied. "Chef?" he said, motioning to his assistant. The large man opened the lid of the wooden box, the closer shot revealing that it had two holes punched into it before two small wide-eyed forms were revealed to be within it. "I'm giving the coins to Alphonse and Betty here," Chris said as a pair of monkeys hopped out onto the side of the box, identical in shape, color, and curiosity save for the necklaces they wore – pink on the left, blue on the right. Chris flipped two gold coins at them, and which they happily caught before jumping down and scampering off. "Who are now going to run away."

"They're getting away!" Courtney exclaimed as the two monkeys ran past her team.

"After them!" Katie stood and shouted for her team.

"STOP!" Chris exclaimed, holding out his hands for the two teams to stop. "Nobody move! The monkeys get a head start. Kinosewak's monkey has a blue necklace," he explained with his usual smile. "Maskwak's monkey is in the pink one."

The shot cut to the Confused Bears as they huddled together slightly. B smirked at his teammates and pulled a banana from the pocket of his shorts.

"Awesome thinking ahead dude!" Geoff said brightly.

"Yeah, but does it bother anyone else that there's bananas growing out here?" Courtney asked.

"Okay," Chris said, drawing the focus back to him as he pulled out his airhorn. "You can go after your monkeys, riiiiiiiiight... _nnnNOW_!" A close-up showed the horn being blown, and the campers all ran off.

\

"Alright platoon," Brick said, a hectic tune playing as the scene flashed to him leading his teammates into the woods then abruptly stopped, "I say we split up to cover more ground. Who's with me?"

"Sure!" Katie immediately and enthusiastically agreed, stopping alongside him.

"Works for me," Justin said coolly as he ran off into the woods.

"Alright, time to lone wolf this thing," Izzy said eagerly, howling like a wolf a few times as she ran past Brick and Katie.

"So I guess it's just you and me?" Katie asked Brick.

"Seems so," Brick answered with a cheery smile.

XXX

"It took a while," Brick said. "But I think this team's become a well-oiled machine."

XXX

The scene moved to Betty, the monkey in the pink necklace, as she sat on a rock by a stream as she admired her coin, then looked around with a few wary 'ook's. A slow, tense tune began to play as the camera pulled back to reveal the five members of the Confused Bears creeping up to it, Geoff, B, and Courtney in front with their hands raised expectantly, Dawn just behind them with an uncertain frown, and Britney lingering behind with a dull look on her face.

"Alright," Courtney whispered as B handed her the banana, "remember: no. Sudden. Movements." The rest of her team nodded, and Courtney locked eyes with the monkey that was watching them. "Alright Betty," she told it, "let's make a deal. How about you trade us that coin you got there for this nice banana?"

The shot cut in for a close-up of it, and a tinkling sound played as Courtney wiggled it. Betty looked at it for a moment...then gave it a few dismissive 'ook's and turned away to focus on her coin again.

"Aww, c'mon," Courtney said in frustration as the camera cut back outward, "it's nice and fresh! See, look!" she said, peeling the banana and waving it at the monkey again. Betty briefly looked at it, but quickly looked back to the coin in her hands.

The camera moved back onto the four Bears as they stood up and huddled together. "Okay, this isn't working," Courtney said in annoyance.

"I just don't get why," Dawn said, looking at the monkey with a puzzled expression. "I should be able to figure out what she wants!"

"Time to switch to Plan B dudes," Geoff told them.

The camera panned on to B as he nodded.

They turned back to face Betty, the shot cutting back outward to show the three crouched down again. "Now!" Geoff shouted, the music spiking as he pounced.

Betty simply turned and ducked, causing Geoff to sail over her and land with a splash in the river. She stood up and laughed, then jumped onto and off of Courtney and B as they pounced as well. She laughed all the way past a startled Britney, then the shot cut to her climbing the trunk of a pine tree. She paused to look down, then ate the coin.

The five Bears gasped. "NOOOOOO!" they cried out as one as Betty climbed away.

\

A flash took the scene to Chris walking calmly through the forest whistling to himself, utterly unaware of Justin running towards him with a devilish smirk. They soon collided, knocking the host onto his butt and the delinquent back a step. "Whoa, sorry man," Justin said, putting on an apologetic smile as he offered his hand to Chris. The host, rubbing his head and glaring in annoyance, accepted it. "I was so caught up in the challenge," the model explained while Chris dusted himself off, "I didn't see you there. Hey, you see that monkey go through here?"

"As if I'd tell you," Chris said tersely.

"Come on," Justin pleaded smoothly, grabbing the host by the shoulder.. "One hot guy to another. You tell me where the monkey is, and we can do guy stuff." Chris eyed the hand touching him then the model it belonged to. "I'll give you a foot massage. Huh? Huh?

"Justin..." Chris said slowly.

"Uh huh?" the model asked expectantly.

"You're kinda makin' me uncomfortable."

XXX

"I really thought playing to his ego would help," Justin confessed. "What's going on? It's like my brain doesn't want to come up with any good ideas anymore."

XXX

The scene moved to another part of the woods, a few light notes playing as a bush began to rustle. The camera cut in closer to it just as Alphonse, the monkey in the blue necklace, leaped out of it with a happy chitter. He was soon followed by Brick, who looked around in suspicion before spotting something and smirking.

"Hah! A formidable plan," he said as the shot cut to a blue necklace lying on the ground and dramatic music began to build up, "but you're gonna have to try harder than that too fool me." He picked up the necklace, and the camera panned up to him as he looked up and his eyes went wide. He screamed and the music spiked as the camera moved behind him, panning up to show the massive pine tree standing before her and all the countless monkeys sitting in it.

\

A flash took the scene to Izzy, crawling through the woods on her hands and knees and humming a spy movie-esque tune as she went along. "Get ready to be caught little monkey~. Get ready to b-" She stopped upon reaching a pair of familiar feet, and blinked in surprise. She looked up, and the camera pulled back to show Katie standing over the wildcard with her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Getting into character," Izzy admitted as she stood up. "This challenge _totally_ reminds me of that time in Australia when this bushman taught our platoon who to catch and cook crocodile. Oh! And koala!"

"Uh," Katie said uncertainly. "Isn't killing a koala bear _illegal_?"

Izzy laughed. "Don't be silly. Koalas aren't bears."

Katie looked taken aback for a moment, then shook her head. "That doesn't answer my question."

"What question?" Izzy asked blankly.

Katie took a deep breath and pinched her nose. "Is killing a koala illegal?"

"I don't know, probably," the wildcard admitted with a shrug. The camera cut to Katie's dumbfounded look as Izzy laughed. "Probavly it's illegal."

"Never mind," Katie said suddenly. "Have you seen the monkey?"

Izzy looked at her in confusion for a moment, then perked up in realization. "Oh! _That_ monkey! No. Haven't seen it," she answered simply.

" _Great_ ," Katie sighed.

\

Another flash took the scene back to Betty, who was now sitting on a larger rock and scratching her armpit.

"Someone hold her," Geoff said, "I'll get the coin!" The shot cut outward to show him and B creeping up on either side of the monkey, their arms stretched out to grab it while Courtney, Dawn, and Britney watched from the sidelines.

"That's it," Geoff said slowly as he and B approached. "Here monkey, monkey, monkey..."

The camera pulled back as a bear suddenly rose up from behind the rock formation Betty was sitting on, roared, and swiped the monkey into its mouth as Geoff screamed. The bear swallowed.

"Oh come on!" Geoff exclaimed in disbelief, stomping his foot.

"Spit that monkey out right now!" Courtney ordered, thrusting a finger at the bear as it happily rubbed its belly.

The bear looked at Courtney, blinked, then raised its forepaws and roared. The Bears screamed as a dramatic riff played, and the viewpoint changed to the live feed on television. The camera promptly pulled back to show Chris and Chef watching back at the meeting area.

"If that's how it ends for Team Maskwak," Chris commented with fake worry, the footage promptly pausing, "I don't think I could _bear_ it!" he joked, cracking a smile and looking at Chef.

Chef just rolled his eyes and shook his head while the host laughed.

"What?" Chris asked. "Too hilarious?"

Chef walked away.

The capstone theme started playing as Chris turned to face the camera. "Wanna see how angry a bear can get?" he asked. " _Me too_! So, stay tuned to Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

"Now how am I supposed to sort this out?" Brick wondered aloud, the episode returning to a view of him from the branches of the tree she was looking at, several curious monkeys on and in the branches looking back at him.

"Wait a minute," Katie said, the shot cutting to her and Izzy arriving on the scene, "are you saying that any of those could be our monkey?" she asked Brick, pointing towards the camera and the tree.

"I'm afraid so," Brick answered, looking from his teammates to the tree, the camera moving behind the three Salmons to show the monkey-filled pine again.

"Huh," Izzy remarked. "What are the odds?"

"You two are the smart ones," Katie told them. "Can't you think of something?"

Izzy and Brick looked at each other, then shrugged.

\

A flash took the scene back to the bear as it burped, then started cleaning its teeth with a toothpick. The shot zoomed out to show the five aptly named Confused Bears watching it from a safe distance.

"I don't know what we're gonna do dudes," Geoff said, extending a hand towards the bear as the camera moved back in front of them. "A coin stuck in a monkey trapped in a bear? It's just crazy man."

Dawn sighed despondently. "I really should have known that this would happen."

"Seriously?" Courtney asked, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised in disbelief. "You could've predicted the monkey eating the coin _and_ the bear eating the monkey? That _ate the coin_?!"

Britney sighed. "It does sound a little silly when you say it like that."

"New plan," Courtney declared, taking a step to the side. "If the coin's in there," the shot cut to the bear, "then let's just bring Chris the _bear_!" She pointed at it, causing it to gape in shock.

Geoff, Dawn, and Britney gasped, and B widened his eyes in shock. "Bring him the bear?" Geoff repeated. "How the heck do we do that?!" he threw up her arms. "It's a _bear_!"

"Well do any of you have a better idea?" the prep asked snippily.

A few tense notes played as the rest of her team all gave her sheepish looks.

\

The music became slightly hectic as the scene flashed back to the Salmons, Justin walking up to Katie, Izzy, and Brick.

"So, what's goin' on?" the model asked.

"Monkeys," Katie answered, pointing towards the camera which promptly cut behind the group as the new arrivals turned and noticed the tree full of monkeys they were facing.

"Whoa," Justin gaped in surprise.

"Now you're almost caught up with us," Katie said.

"I got this," Justin scoffed, walking forward as his teammates watched. "Hey, monkeys!" he cupped his hands and shouted toward the tree, the camera positioned directly in front of him. "Get a load, of _this_!" He took off his shirt and gestured to his chest. His leitmotif playing as the camera panned up his sparkling torso. "So, how about handing over that coin?" he asked with a wink.

A record scratch halted the music as Justin suddenly gasped and jumped back, narrowly dodging the clumps of something thick and brown and somewhat goopy that were flung at him.

"And now you're completely caught up with us," Katie pointed out, hands on her hips as the camera moved over slightly to show the rest of the Salmons.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Justin asked as he put his shirt back on.

The shot cut to a close-up of Brick tapping his chin in thought. "Well, we can't force them to give us the coin. Asking doesn't work, either. We'll just have to trick them."

"But how?" Katie asked hopelessly.

"It's easy," Izzy replied in an innocent tone. "Play Monkey See Monkey Do."

A few dull notes played as the camera jumped outward, showing the other three Salmons looking at Izzy blankly.

"It's worth a shot," Justin said.

"Why didn't we think of that earlier?" Katie asked.

\

"So does everyone understand the plan?" Courtney asked.

"Let me get this straight," Geoff said. "You think we should get it mad and hope we can outrun it long enough to lead it to Chris."

"Yes," Courtney said simply.

"Ignoring the fact that that will just get us mauled?" Geoff continued.

"Maybe, maybe not," Courtney said determinedly as the shot cut to her, "we won't know for sure unless we try. But we do know that if we just leave it like this, one of us will be going home tonight, and I know you don't want that to happen."

"Depends on who's goin' home," Geoff admitted.

"Whatever you decide to do," Britney spoke up as the camera panned to her pointing to the side, "we better do it fast. The bear's walking away!"

The others gasped, and a dramatic riff played as the shot cut to the bear standing up with a satisfied grunt and wading into the river. The shot then cut back to B as he stood up straight and put on a determined look.

\

The footage cut to the monkeys in the tree watching the Salmons and growling viciously. The music trilled tensely as the shot cut to the campers themselves as they broke a huddle and lined up, mischievous smiles on their faces.

"Alright monkeys, wave your hands in the air!" Justin called out, leading his teammates in raising his hands and waving them around. The shot cut to the monkeys as they enthusiastically followed suit, every last one of them waving their hands and ooking excitedly.

"Now shake those booties like you just don't care!" Katie said next, the camera cutting to her as she turned around, put a hand on her hip, and shook her butt back and forth – her three teammates quickly following suit. Once again the shot cut back to the monkeys as excitedly mimicked what they were shown, those on the branches turning around and those clinging to the trunk just staying put as they all shook their butts at the camera.

"And...flip a coin in the air!" Brick followed, pulling a silver coin from his back pocket. Once the others had followed suit they all flipped them into the air, then smiled expectantly up at the tree as the most became tenser.

The shot cut to a close-up of some of the monkeys, most looking down at the humans with renewed suspicion and irritation – except for one, who smiled excitedly. It pulled out a gold coin and flipped it into the air to the surprise of its comrades, and the camera followed the coin as it spun right into the waiting hand of Izzy. "Hah! Excelente!" she grinned, the camera cutting back to the monkeys as Alphonse palmed his face and the others glared at him.

"Finally!" Katie said in relief as the shot quick-panned back to the Salmons. "Let's get back to the meeting area so we can win!" She turned and ran off back to the right, and her teammates followed alongside her.

\

The scene flashed back to B. He cracked his knuckles and neck, and the camera pulled back to show him getting strange looks from the rest of his team who were standing over to the left.

The genius walked past his teammates and into the river. A quick-pan to the left showed the bear pausing at the far bank to look back at him, and the camera cut back to show him picking up a small stone. He drew back, then threw the stone with all his might. The music blared dramatically as the stone was followed through the air, soon striking the bear on the muzzle and bouncing off.

The music died off as the bear blinked, then rubbed the place it had been hit and grunted in displeasure.

And then the camera pulled back and the music blared again as the bear stood up, raised its forelegs, and roared angrily. It charged back through the water on all fours, a fast and dangerous tune playing as the five campers scattered, Courtney and Geoff screaming as they ran with Britney and Dawn to the side while B turned and ran to the right, the bear chasing right after him.

"Quick! After that bear!" Courtney called out as she chased after B and the bear. Dawn and Britney quickly followed after, with Geoff taking up the rear.

"Why are we even doing this...," he groaned before running out of sight.

\

The music turned hectic as the scene moved back to the Salmons running through the woods. "Alright!" Izzy cheered excitedly. "Another win for us, how cool is that?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Katie said, the shot panning back to her running just behind Izzy. "We're doing good, but we have no idea what the Bears have been up to."

"Well they sure aren't done yet," Justin spoke up as the camera panned to him. "Chris woulda rubbed it in our faces if they were."

"Maybe so," Brick replied, the shot panning ahead to him, "but we should still move fast."

\

The music became fast and hectic as the static cut to B running away from the snarling bear, the camera soon pulling back to show them chasing around the meeting area. The rest of the Confused Bears was standing near Chris, and all five of them were watching B and the bear with varying expressions – the host looking amused, Dawn and Geoff looking worried, Courtney looking impatient, and Britney looking somewhat glum.

"Hey, uh, not that this isn't funny or anything," Chris spoke up, the shot focusing on him as he turned his head to the left and looked over his shoulder to watch B run by in the background, "but is anybody gonna bother telling me why you guys brought me a bear instead of the coin like I asked for?"

"We did bring you the coin," Courtney told him.

"Rrrrrright...," Chris said, rubbing his chin with a skeptical look as the bear roared and continued chasing B. "You say the coin's inside the monkey, which is inside that bear," he asked, pointing to his hand and then over his shoulder at where the bear had gone. " _That's_ the story you all agreed on?"

"It's the truth dude," Geoff told him, waving his arms frantically.

"We wouldn't have upset the bear otherwise," Dawn chimed in.

"Yeah...," Britney agreed halfheartedly. "That'd just be pointless."

"I see...," Chris said, still looking skeptical. "Well unless you guys can get the coin back _out_ of the bear and _in_ to the vending machine, you're outta luck."

Geoff and Courtney groaned, and Britney sighed. Then B ran past them, earning their attention. "We have to help B!" Dawn cried out before the genius disappeared to the left, the bear still running after him.

Courtney growled. "That's it! I've had _enough_ of this stupid challenge!" she declared, rolling up as a dangerous tune played.

The shot cutting to the bear as she jumped on its back. "Alright bear, stop!" she told the bear, grabbing it around the neck and pulling tight – the bear, startled, quickly skidded to a stop.

B skidded to a stop and sighed in relief, then wiped his brow, and promptly passed out.

The shot cut to Geoff and Dawn. "I got this dudes," the party boy said.

The shot cut to him jogging toward Courtney and the stopped bear. Just before he reached the bear his teammate hopped of its back and to the left, allowing Geoff to come up behind it, pick it up around the waist, and squeeze.

The camera moved in for a close-up as the bear's eyes and mouth bulged, and with another mighty grunt from Geoff it coughed up several things all at once. The shot cut to the ground as a rather stunned-looking monkey landed with the magazine it looked to be reading, as well as a license plate, a shoe, and an apple core. A pair of white-skinned hands soon scooped the fluid-covered monkey up, and the camera panned upward to show Geoff grinning victoriously at it.

"Eww...," Courtney said, the shot quickly cutting aside to her cringing in disgust.

"Your turn little dude!" Geoff declared as the shot returned to her squeezing the monkey's belly causing its mouth and eyes to bulge.

The tense music that had been playing rose up as Dawn and Courtney were shown wincing as they watched Geoff. "Don't hurt it too badly!" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, just enough to win!" Courtney added.

Just then the camera quick-panned to the left as Izzy ran out of the woods, a gold coin in her hand and a smile on her face. "Alright, almost there!" she cheered.

The shot cut back to Courtney and Dawn as they turned their heads back to Geoff. "Keep going!" Courtney said.

"But try not to hurt it!" Dawn added with a hint of nervousness.

"We're going back to Loserville with an attitude like that!" Courtney scoffed.

"Don't worry, I do this with my buds back home all the time," Geoff told them as the shot cut to him continuing to squeeze the monkey's belly, now holding it against his chest. "Got it!" he added with a cheer and a victorious riff as one more strong push caused the monkey to spit out the coin. Geoff promptly dropped it and jumped forward, the shot cutting to the coin on the ground as he quickly picked it up. "Go long!" he cried as he flipped the coin forward the camera following it through the air before showing Courtney catching it.

"Outta the way!" Izzy barked as she ran past the three Bears, causing them to gasp.

"Throw the coin Courtney!" Dawn quickly told her teammate.

Courtney eyes were shown widening in close-up, then narrowing confidently. "Got it!" she said, the camera pulling back to show her closing an eye and throwing. The camera followed the coin through the air as tense music played.

The shot cut back to Izzy running, a smile forming on her face. The viewpoint shifted to her own to show the the vending machine getting closer and closer, then returned to Izzy side.

The shot cut to a close-up of a coin entering the slot, then panned back to show Izzy smiling at the machine a split second before the Bears' coin landed in.

"Yes!" Izzy cheered, raising her arms as a victory theme played.

"Whoa!" Chris exclaimed in shock as the shot cut to him. "Game over!" he turned and told the camera. "Team Kinosewak wins the challenge!" he announced, and Courtney, Dawn, and Geoff groaned. A pained groan cut them off, and the shot followed their gazes to the ground to show the bear crawling off on its belly.

"Today's snack food is from our Japanese affiliate," Chris told the camera in a suave voice as it cut back to him. He turned to the side and motioned to the vending machine, a familiar fast-paced electronic jingle playing as the machine was shown against the usual orange-and-gold radiant background. "Iiiiiit's Chef Hatchet's Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go-Time Candy Fishtails!" he announced as several of the disgusting treats flew out of the vending machine, wiggled in the air a bit, then came together in front of the machine's signboard and disappeared.

"Okay," Chris said in a more serious tone, both teams now assembled before him, "Team Maskwak, it's time for you to vote to determine who's going into the cannon," he told them sternly. The shot cut in front of the five of them, Geoff and Courtney sending glares to each other while B was still passed out, Britney still looking glum, and Dawn looking between them all.

\

A few deep notes played after the scene flashed back to the Bears' treefort, the camera soon panning down and over to their fire pit to show Geoff and Britney dumping a small pile of sticks and twigs by it.

"Man, it sucks not having Dave around," Geoff told his glum-looking teammate. "Dude just had a way of making things funnier," he said, the shot cutting to Britney silently crying before moving back to him. "And it's not that B's a _bad_ roommate, but with him not talking...," Geoff gave a short sigh as she arranged a few sticks on the firepit, "well, at least tonight's vote should be an easy one."

The camera panned over to Britney as she sighed. "Yeah... easy..."

The music turned tense and ominous, and the camera panned up to the treefort's front window to show Courtney glaring down at her teammates. The scene then cut inside to show her walking away from the window to door, and over to the door to the boys' side. She took a deep breath, then called out "Hey B, can I talk to you for a sec?"

B opened the curtain to the boys' side of the shelter and tilted his head in confusion.

"I was thinking about tonight's vote," Courtney said calmly, causing B to frown. "You know why I did what I did yesterday right?"

B pursed his lips and nodded.

"But with Geoff acting the way he is, I may as well not done anything.," the prep finished. "And if he's going to _keep_ acting this way, we're just going to keep losing. So I think you should talk to Dawn and have her vote for Geoff."

A dull note played as the shot cut to B sighing. He nodded in agreement before climbing retreating back into the shelter. Once he was out of sight, the camera panned back to Courtney, who smirked as an ominous riff played.

XXX

"If the others wanna treat me like a villain," she confessed. "Then I'll just be one."

XXX

The scene moved to B and Dawn picking berries off a bush together. "Let me guess," Dawn began as the monster popped up from a bush in the background and slowly sank out of view, "Courtney wants us to vote for Geoff tonight."

B stopped picking to give Dawn an affirmative look.

"I fear there are dark days ahead for our teammates," the moonchild whispered solemnly.

B sighed, then nodded his agreement.

The sound of footsteps just then caught their attention, and they looked up and to the left to see Geoff running up to them. "Just who I wanted to see," he greeted them. "It's way past time for Courtney to go. You guys in?"

Dawn and B shared a wary look.

\

Another flash took the scene back to Britney at the firepit, barely looking up as Dawn walked up to him. "I brought you some food," Dawn said with a cheery smile, holding out a handful of berries.

"Thanks," Britney said, taking them. He stared at them for a moment, then let them drop onto the ground.

The shot cut to Dawn as she sighed, then walked away with a neutral expression.

\

A deep, sharp note opened the ceremonial music as the scene cut to the usual moonlit shot of the island. "Team Maskwak has voted," Chris said, the Confused Bears' icon appearing in the corner of the screen as the scene moved to the fire pit. "The following players are safe," he continued as the shot cut in close and he picked up the first of four marshmallows from the tray that Chef was holding. "B," the camera quick-panned over to the backrow to show the boy in question happily catching his prize, "and Dawn." A pan to the side showed the moonchild holding her hands out with no eagerness whatsoever.

"The rest of you received votes against you," Chris said with his usual calm expression. The shot immediately cut to the front row as Geoff and Courtney shot glares at each other from either side of Britney, who merely hung her head.

"Geoff, however, will _not_ be going home this time," Chris said matter-of-factly as he tossed another marshmallow at the campers.

"Hah! Take that, you Alejandro wannabe," Geoff shot at the prep upon catching his prize, Courtney gaping in shock then growling in anger.

"And the final marshmallow goes to...," Chris said, the music reaching its tensest part as Courtney turned a shocked and terrified look his way. The host closed his eyes and picked up the marshmallow, and the music peaked... " _Courtney_." He opened his eyes, and tossed the marshmallow away.

"Yes!" Courtney stood and cheered, catching her marshmallow then turning a smug look towards the annoyed party boy. "Take _that_."

"Britney, you're out," Chris said from off-screen, the camera panning to Britney as she stood up.

"I gathered," she said sadly, the viewpoint shifting to the side as she turned around. "Thanks for voting for me, who ever it was."

Geoff and Courtney turned back to show Dawn and B looking at the globetrotter sadly.

"But why her?" Geoff asked in shock, the shot cutting to him.

"I don't care," Britney said truthfully. "With Dave gone I don't wanna be here anymore."

"Luckily, I can help with that," Chris said gleefully, drawing the attention back to him. "The cannon awaits."

\

The screen flipped around, transitioning the scene to the Cannon of Shame with Britney already loaded in. "Goodbye everyone," she said as the somber farewell theme played. "It was really nice being out here with all of you. But true love awaits!" she said, closing her eyes and smiling.

"I disagree," Chris said simply as the shot cut to him pressing the button on his remote. Britney was fired off into the night with a yell of 'I'm coming Dave!', and the shot cut to her former teammates watching her leave from the edge of the elimination area.

"Well, that's another one gone and already forgotten," Chris said smugly as the shot cut back to him, shrugging as the opening beats of the capstone theme played. "As tempting as it is to see how many kids I can stuff into the cannon, eight remain. Who's next to show us their cannon-do spirit? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And thus ends Britney's time on the show, which I'm surprised no one predicted. As I've said a few times, Britney's about as obsessed with Dave here as he was with Sky in canon. It just makes sense that once he's gone she loses all her motivation.

Britney aside, I think a lot of development occurred this week. Both Geoff's happy-go-lucky nature is starting to slip; Courtney shows some of her more personal thoughts to Brick while completely cutting herself off from her team; and Dawn and B are stuck in the middle. I don't know, this just seemed like a good chapter to focus on the Bears.

Let's see, what else...well, speaking of Courtney. I'm having her be constantly under pressure of her over expectant parents. Her desire to succeed is going to conflict with the human being that she actually is for a while and make up the bulk of her character.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney


	7. This is the Pits!

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry for how late this is. Real Life has me kinda like Loki in that scene in the first Avengers. But I'm going to try to do better. As you know this isn't an elimination episode but hopefully it's still entertaining. I wound up rewriting it like five times because I hated it so much, but I think it's as good as I can get it at this point.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Nicky Haugh:**_ Thanks!

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Thanks! Yeah, Britney just didn't fit where I wanted to take this season. You've got some insightful predictions there. But I'll do my best not to leave anyone longer than necessary.

 _ **Guest:**_ I love Dave and Britney together, but honestly I might postpone Geoff/Kaite, I'm just having a hard time getting them to have interactions.

 _ **Shrimpimp:**_ I wanted more people to notice it to make that underlying theme less... underlying. Now it feels less like a romance movie with a crappy ending. This is going to be the reward challenge, and I'll definitely have to find a way to fit an aura reading in at some point.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I mean, I thought the last second save was kinda cool, but what was the point if they were just gonna bullshit Ella like that? . Captain Hollywood is kinda my favorite part of Geoff, Im so glad I have a way to do that and have him be a cool guy at the same time. I can't mention the team swap, but I will say that Dawn knows just how bad Courtney can be. Likr I told Shrimpimp, I felt the strangeness of the island should have been given more prominence over the romance plots, especially considering how badly they ended.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Britney's elimination was the logical conclusion in my mind. I'm definitely going for Tragic Villain territory with Courtney. Time will tell how successful I am at it.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks. As long as the eliminations make sense, I'm doing better than canon.

 _ **Guest 1138:**_ Key word for Courtney is trying. She's been a challenge to write so far. An don't worry about the 'ramblings' I like that people theorize so much.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ That's pretty much how I wanted to portray Courtney. I don't think the elimination detracted from Britney's character arc. Her relationship with Dave _was_ her arc.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Eventually he will.

 _ **Yoyo**_ **:** The last two seasons will be 26 episodes.

 _ **TheChrisanthemum:**_ Not quite yet. That was a bad joke...

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Courtney, Dawn, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Brick, Izzy, Justin, Katie

It's spelunking time. And that doesn't mean hitting kids with fish.

* * *

 **Episode 06: This is the Pits!**

"Last episode was crammed full of monkey!" Chris opened, the recap montage immediately beginning with Justin leading the Salmons – and the pine tree full of monkeys – in waving their arms in the air. "And monkey crammed full!" the host added over shots of the monkeys looking out at Brick, then Justin narrowly dodging a barrage of monkey poop thrown at him after an attempted distraction.

"A hunt for some golden coins further splintered Maskwak apart as they dealt with an increasingly ridiculous chain of events," he continued, the montage quickly flashing from their monkey refusing the banana Courtney offered, to the monkey eating their coin, to a bear eating the monkey, and to B fleeing from the bear as his teammates and the host watched. "And showed Kinosewak that maybe they're not as hopeless as I thought," Chris added as clips were shown of Izzy talking to Katie, then Katie suggesting her plan to get the coin from the monkey.

"In the end, Maskwak lost," Izzy's coin was shown landing in the vending machine, "and despite some scheming from Geoff and Courtney," both rivals were shown talking to B at separate times, "it was _Britney_ who was sent home by her own wishes." Britney was shown standing up in acceptance as the final marshmallow went to Courtney, then getting blasted off into the night.

The montage ended there, and the scene moved to Chris standing alone in the elimination area. "Eight remain," he told the camera. "Who will stay, and who gets blasted away? Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A harsh trilling tune played as the scene opened on the Salmon's bunker, Justin walking out of it with a yawn and a stretch of his arms. The camera zoomed in and followed him to the team's firepit, where she stopped and locked eyes with Izzy who was tending it. "Morning," he said in a suave tone.

"Morning," Izzy replied. "Can you help me with this?"

"What?" Justin asked as the shot cut to his confused close-up. "Why can't Brick do it?"

"Because," Izzy scowled as the camera moved to her, "Katie's foraging, Brick's fishing, and we're almost out of wood. So if you _want_ uncooked fish for breakfast, then you can stay in. I just don't think the others would like that too much."

The shot cut back to Justin as he laughed awkwardly. "Alright. I'll take care of it," he said as he started to walk away to the right.

Izzy rolled her eyes and looked back at the fire. "Sure you will..."

XXX

"Justin is _so_ lucky we've been on a winning streak lately," Izzy confessed. "The moment we actually lose, Katie and me plan on voting him off. Until then," she gave a small shrug, "I'll make him work. He's gotta do _something_ other sit around and be eye candy."

XXX

"Okay, I'm pretty sure the girls aren't affected by my _charms_ anymore," Justin told the outhouse in mild panic. "And that means I can't give them any reason to eliminate me. So..." he slumped over and sighed, "I have make myself useful around camp by hauling around firewood."

He gave another sigh, then crossed his arms and glowered to the side. "Who's dumb idea was it to make survival actually _matter_ this time around?"

XXX

"Can I ask you something?" Katie asked as the static cut to her in front of a berry bush with Geoff in the background.

"Sure thing dudette," the party boy answered, tipping his hat as he dropped a handful of berries into his basket.

"Is it wrong to hate one of your teammates?" she asked sheepishly.

Geoff sighed. "I don't know if I can answer that."

"Well maybe not like 'hate'," Katie corrected. "But more like 'really don't like and look forward to seeing them gone'."

"Oh," Geoff said. "In that case no. I'm feelin' that way with Courtney right now."

"Courtney?" Katie asked with a head tilt. "Why don't you like her?"

"Because she majorly harsh all season, and she's the reason Dave was sent home," Geoff answered.

"Wait, I thought Dave quit," Katie said.

"Yeah, after _she_ talked him into it. And I really thought Dawn and B would've voted for her last night. Guess I was wrong."

"She sounds like Justin," Katie said. "He hasn't done anything except cause trouble and be lazy the whole time we've been here."

"Sounds like we got some serious villains on our hands," Geoff commented. "With any luck they'll be the next ones shot out of a canon."

"Totally," Katie giggled. "That'd be so fetch. Thanks Geoff."

"For what?" Geoff asked in confusion.

"For.. being there," Katie told him. "I've just been feeling kinda lost without Sadie and, you're just, like really easy to talk to."

"No worries," Geoff told her with a smile. "I get it. My bud Brody auditioned for the show too but he didn't make the cut. I didn't wanna show up without him, but the dude made me go."

"Oh my gosh," Katie gasped. "That's so sad."

"Another way we're the same I guess," the party boy said. "And you know, you're real easy to talk to also."

\

The scene flashed over to the Bears' treefort, a bluebird flying by in front of it. "And so we dug up the school's front lawn and replanted it in the school foyer!" Geoff said, the shot cutting inside in mid-sentence to show him and his teammates standing around the entrance of their shelter eating fruit and what looked like roasted fish on skewers.

"Wow, Geoff," Dawn said with a bright smile, "that sounded like it was fun."

Geoff chuckled proudly. "I know! We even put a flag on it and putted a few rounds of golf before the getting caught. The principal gave us the longest detention in school history." As he spoke the camera panned over to the left to show Courtney rolling her eyes.

"And while you wasted your time with stupid pranks, _I_ spent my high school building up my college admissions forms," she informed him with a condescending tone. "I'm in debate club, drama club, _and_ I've been student council president for two years thanks to my excellent speech giving skills."

"Two years huh?" Geoff asked with a smirk and an unusually smug expression. "I've been president for _three_ years."

Before a shocked Courtney could respond, the sound of a blowhorn came over the camp loudspeakers. "Calling all contestants!" Chris began as the four Bears looked up and to the right. "It's time to get rolling!" He laughed, and the four campers shared a wary look. "Ahh, that'll make sense in a minute..."

\

The scene promptly flashed to a close-up of Chris' smiling face. "Listen up everyone," he began. "Today's challenge is simple." The shot cut outward to show both teams standing by, their team logos appearing as they sighed in relief. "Simple, and _deadly_!" Chris clarified, furrowing his brow devilishly as the music spiked and the cast groaned.

"You'll all be racing across the island," he explained, motioning to the right, "in these Turbo Orbs!" A pan over revealed Chef standing by two giant hollow orbs, one green and one red and each with an open circular hatch on the side. "Each team will cram into one Turbo Orb and run like a hamster in a wheel," Chris continued as he walked over. "First team to the other side of the island wins immunity."

"Hey, that almost sounds kinda fun!" Geoff said brightly as the shot cut to him and Courtney.

"For you maybe," Courtney said as she started walking towards the orbs.

The shot cut outward to show the campers heading into their respective orbs. B shrugged as he followed Dawn into the red orb.

"Excuse me, sorry," Dawn apologized as she climbed into the red orb after Courtney and Geoff. B then tried to climb into the green orb only to get stuck, his legs dangling freely into the air before his teammates inside grunted and he was sucked inside with a hollow sound. Chris put his hands behind his back as he watched them, then looked to the left – the camera panning over to the sole remaining camper, Brick.

The shot cut in closer to show him shivering nervously. "Brick? Hello~?" Chris said as he walked over. "That was kind of an order, y'know."

"R-right," Brick stuttered. "It's just, uh, it looks awfully _dark_ inside those things."

"Probably cause it is," Chris told him. "You're not, like, scared of the dark or anything, are you?" he asked in mock concern.

"N-no, of course not!" Brick said in mild alarm, finally taking his eyes off the off-screen orbs. "It's just that, uh," he rubbed the back of his head, "how are we supposed to see where we're going once we're inside?"

"You're not," Chris answered. "That's kinda the whole point. So, y'know, get inside so we can get started."

"R-right," Brick said before gulping nervously.

XXX

"Ever since I was born, I hated the dark," Brick confessed anxiously. "With the creaks," he held his arms against his chest in fright and looked to the side, "a-and the 'Who's that?'" he looked to the other side, "and the 'Get away!'"

He gulped. "But I can't tell my teammates that, they need to see their leader as large and in charge!"

XXX

"I'm alright," Brick declared as he walked past Chris, "I can do this. Just...concerned about the safety of my team is all."

"Uh-huh...," Chris said in mild disbelief as the sound of Brick stopping came the moment he left the screen. "Well then," he said as the shot cut outward to reveal the cadet frozen in his tracks and shivering in fear, "if you wanna keep 'em _safe_ , then you better compete. That's an _order_ ," he said sternly.

Brick just gulped.

"Okay, bad cop didn't work," Chris said with his usual smile. "Time for good cop!" A touching tune played as the shot cut back to Brick, the host walking up and putting an arm around his shoulders. "Brick," he said softly earning the cadet's attention, "I didn't know you had this issue. Now that I do, I realize this challenge is harder for you than anyone else," Brick raised an eyebrow with an awkward expression, "and that's unfair. Chef," he said with a sudden and manic grin to the side, "toss him in!"

The music spiked dramatically as Chef leaned over, grabbed Brick by the shirt, and tossed him screaming into the green orb. He slammed the door shut behind him, then the camera pulled back to show Chris walking over to the red orb.

"Excuse me. But what's stopping us from breaking a bone in these things?" Courtney stuck her head out and asked calmly.

"Luck," Chris told her before shutting the door. "YOU MIGHT FEEL A SLIGHT DROP!" he yelled loudly, taking up a position to push the orb as Chef did the same with the green one. "READY! SET! GO!" At his mark the two men pushed the orbs into motion, and the camera followed them as they slowly started rolling with the campers inside screaming all the way.

They promptly fell into the opening of a pit cave, and Chris laughed.

Dangerous music played as the camera followed them down the shaft, the two orbs colliding with numerous rocky ledges along the way, eliciting grunts of pain from those inside them. After a few seconds, though, the camera stopped moving and the orbs dropped off-screen, hitting the unseen ground with a pair of particularly loud and metallic thuds.

The groans of the campers rang through the air, the shot cutting to the orbs sitting in the holes they'd made as the dust cleared. The camera zoomed in on the door of the red orb as it swung open, B falling backward out of it and landing on the ground with a groan. Dawn followed as she tripped forward in a daze, landing on B's chest to the shock of both.

"Oh, sorry," Dawn said.

XXX

"For the record," Dawn confessed calmly, "I don't have feelings for B. He's attractive enough, but there's nothing in his aura that suggest we'd be a good match."

XXX

The static cut away to B standing up then helping Dawn to her feet, only to catch movement out of the corner of his eye and look backwards to see Geoff slumping against the side of the orb. "That was wild," he chuckled as the camera panned over to Brick crawling out of his team's orb with a panicked gasp.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Izzy asked, catching Brick and steadying him as Katie and Justin watched with concern.

"Y-yeah," Brick said between fast and heavy breaths, the shot cutting in close as his eyes darted around. "Just, uh, getting my bearings, that's all. I...I see the sun's shining on us," he said once his gaze had locked above them, the shot pulling back as he stepped away from Izzy. "We can see where we are, that's nice. And I can climb us out of here in a jiffy!" he said, becoming more and more confident with each word.

"Man that fall could've caused serious damage to my face," the model commented bitterly.

"Wouldn't that have been a shame?" came the voice of Chris, the rest of the Salmons raising their heads as all four looked to the side. "So," the host continued as the camera cut behind the four teens then panned up and forward to show him watching from a large monitor mounted on the cave wall, "your _real_ challenge is getting out of this cave."

"Why'd you lie to us?" Katie asked next to Justin.

"If I had said I wanted to cram you into giant balls and drop you a hundred and forty feet into a cave," Chris explained with a mischievous smile, "you all would've _mooooaned_ and _whiiiiined_...this was easier!" he finished cheerily.

B nodded in agreement as the shot cut back to the Bears.

"Moving on," Chris said as Izzy walked by in the foreground, "there are two bags of supplies somewhere behind you."

The shot cut to Courtney and Izzy standing by a pair of duffel bags, Izzy by a yellow one on the left and Courtney by a green one on the right. Courtney bent down and opened hers up, then pulled out the supplies inside. "Rope, climbing gear, and night-vision goggles," she counted. "This is perfect," she said with a smug grin, putting the items back in the bag and picking it up.

Izzy smiled as she began to unpack her own bag. "Let's see...," she said confidently before looking inside the bag and gasping in shock. " _Kitty litter_?!" she exclaimed in surprise, standing up with a bag of litter, a few sauce packets, and a CD case with the image of a few former contestants on the front. "Soy sauce?! And a Drama Brothers CD? What the heck?!"

"One bag _might_ be more helpful than the other," Chris said before the shot cut back to the feed of him on the monitor. "Now, if you look around, you'll see a bunch of tunnels," he explained, the camera panning across a series of tunnel openings in the rock. "They all lead to a single exit on the surface where the finish line awaits. But, some will get you there safer or faster than others. First team across the finish line, wins."

"One more thing," he said as the shot cut back to the Salmons, Izzy warily rejoining her teammates. "According to Cree legend, no one who's come in to this cave has _ever_ come out!" The camera panned to the Bears in the middle of Courtney grinning over her team's supplies; B widening his eyes in shock and Courtney, Dawn, and Geoff gasping. "But hey," Chris said with a smug smile as the shot cut back to the monitor, "I thought the fall would kill you, so, congrats on surviving that. Your challenge starts-" the camera filming him panned to the airhorn in his hand, "NOW!" An ominous chanted note played as he blew the horn, causing the cave to rumble and rocks to fall...

"So," Courtney said, the shot cutting to one of the tunnel entrances before pulling back to show her standing a ways away from it, "it's all about choosing the right tunnel fastest!"

"We should choose fast," Izzy said, looking up and around as the camera cut to the Salmons. "I don't like the sound of that rumbling."

Brick gulped. "So then...we're gonna have to head into one of those dark, mysterious tunnels, huh?" An ominous tune played as the cave shook again, the shot cutting outward to show all eight campers tensed up.

"IT'S A CAVE-IN!" Katie screamed, gripping his hair in panic, and the music became even more dramatic as the shaking continued and rocks began to fall.

"Yeah, it is now," Izzy said sharply before a rock falling next to her caused her to scream and start running. The rest of her team did the same, and their opponents followed suit.

The shot cut to the tunnels on the left as Courtney and Geoff ran up to it. "This way dudes!" he called back over his shoulder, pointing at one of the tunnels before running into it with Courtney as rocks fell around them. Dawn and B arrived moments later, but stopped and gasped as several large boulders fell and blocked the path the other two had taken.

B looked down at his teammate with a fearful expression.

Dawn looked around in a panic, then gasped and smiled. "This way!" she said, running into the next tunnel on the right with B close behind.

The camera panned further to the right to show Izzy frantically sidestepping away from a larger rock as her team continued to panic and cry. "We're all gonna die!" Katie cried as rocks fell around her.

"Get a hold of yourselves!" Izzy said sharply. "We have to move now!"

"But where?!" Justin asked.

"Anywhere that's not here, now move!" Izzy ordered before running off into a tunnel on the left with her hands covering her head and the rest of her team right behind her. Moments later a few more boulders fell down and blocked the entrance, and the scene faded to black...

\

Izzy coughed as a very dim light returned to the scene, the Salmons' logo appearing on-screen as she stood up. "That was _way_ too close," she remarked. "Everybody still alive?" she asked, squinting as she looked around the dark.

"I'm good," Katie said sharply, the camera pulling out to show the rest of her team gathering around her. "How do we get out of here, anyway?" she asked, propping herself up on one arm in close-up and looking around.

"I have no idea," Justin said, the shot cutting to a close up. "I can't see in the dark. Hey Izzy, why didn't you bring us to a cave with better light?"

"I'm _so_ sorry that I wasn't able to see how much light the cave had when we were panicking for our lives," Izzy told the group.

Justin smirked. "Well you should have. If we lose this is on _you_ ," he said.

Izzy took a deep breath. "Nevermind, let's just go." With that she walked ahead, followed by Katie, Justin, and a nervous and panicky Brick.

XXX

"Okay, when did _I_ become the most focused one?" Izzy asked in annoyed confusion.

XXX

"Check it out," Izzy told the group as they came across a cave with stalactites covered in bluish-green worms with a sickly glow about them. "A glow slug colony."

"That is so gross," Katie commented.

"Don't let any of their guano get on my face," Justin added.

"A-at least they're lighting the way," Brick added with a sense of calm about him.

A slurping sound grabbed their attention, and they and the camera turned to the left to see Izzy toss a handful of slugs into her mouth. Her teammates voiced their disgust.

"What?" the wildcard said defensively. "I know what I'm doing." With that the camera zoomed in on her navel as a beam of light shot out of it with a shimmering gleam. "See?" she asked. "Now let's go."

The rest of the Salmons gave each other nervous looks, but followed her all the same.

\

The scene flashed to total darkness as the music became low and tense. Courtney was heard coughing and panting. "Is everyone okay?" she asked.

Something clicked, and a band of green static flashed across the screen before the scene faded back into green-tinted view with an electronic hum. The viewpoint was Courtney's as she looked at Geoff, the party boy wearing his own pair of the unusual three-lensed goggles.

"All good dude," he answered. "Dawn? B?"

There was no answer.

"Dawn?" B?" he asked again a bit more worriedly as the shot returned to the normal, if a bit darker, sideview.

"I don't think they got here in time," Courtney said as the shot returned to her point-of-view as she looked at the blocked cave entrance. "But if I know them, they're fine. They'll probably beat us to the finish line."

"So we lost track of two teammates in a cave-in and all you can think about is winning?!" Geoff asked incredulously.

"Yes," Courtney hissed. "Because if we lose those two are going to vote together and send one of us home. So can you flip the jerk switch to off and help me get us out of here?"

\

The scene flashed to Dawn and B as they walked through their bit of cave. B stopped to look around and scratched his chin as dawn walked ahead.

"What's wrong B?" Dawn asked him, stopping and turning around.

B pointed to the ceiling and the camera followed his gaze to some stalactites.

"What about them?" Dawn asked.

B gestured to the ground and made some sort of swimming motions.

"I'm sure that doesn't mean anything," Dawn told him. "I may not be able to empathize with animals anymore. But this cave _felt_ right."

A few deep notes played, and Chris's voice filled the air. "Hey guys," he said as the teens looked around, the camera panning up to show a large monitor on the wall above them. "Welcome to the _Spike_ Zone. You might wanna keep it down, or those stalactites will rain down and skewer you like kabobs."

"That should be easy enough," Dawn said, the camera cutting back to her. "We can just slip through and-"

"Yeah, that sounds boring," Chris interrupted as he looked down at the two. "So here's a crocodile." The camera focused back on Dawn and B as they turned around, then cut to a section of cave wall opening up to show a crocodile angrily walking through.

Dawn and B slowly started walking away. "And remember," Chris added. "Your _whole_ team has to make it through. So no leaving behind legs or hands," he chuckled. "Anyway, good luck!" he called out mockingly before the screen cut to black.

B motioned ahead of them and he and Dawn slowly tip-toed through the cave. The crocodile roared, and the two looked up in shock as ominous music began to play and the roof of the cave began to shake.

A pause symbol appeared on-screen as the footage stopped.

\

"Oh man, is it getting _good_!" Chris gushed, the camera pulling back to show him watching the feed on a widescreen TV cart from the comfort of a deck chair. The capstone theme began to play, and he turned his usual smile to the camera. "Stay tuned to find out who gets buried and who comes out on top, here on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commerciak Break)

\

The episode resumed with dust clearing away to show Dawn and B huddled together in a mass of fallen stalactites, the faint sound of something sparking barely audible from off-screen.

"I don't understand," Dawn said as B cocked his head to the side toward the sound of the sparking. "This cave felt like the right way to go." She didn't notice B standing up and walking off the the left.

A rock flew by and landed at her feet, and the moonchild looked up to see B standing over the crocodile, which had been skewered by the falling rocks. However, rather than the expected reptile innards, the croc was instead shown to have mechanical guts and its eyes were black like a powered down machine. This was most likely the cause of the sparking.

"The crocodile was mechanical?" Dawn asked in a strange mixture of comprehension and confusion.

B nodded in agreement and began picking wires and computer chips out of the reptile carcass.

"I take it you have a plan?" the moonchild asked again, this time sounding much more confident.

B nodded again, this time accompanied by a smirk.

XXX

"I'm glad the crocodile turned out to be a fake," Dawn confessed. "Mainly because that might help me figure out why I can't empathize with the animals here. Maybe they're _all_ fake?"

XXX

"Let me know when you figure it out," Dawn told her friend as she sat down in lotus position and began to meditate.

\

A flash took the scene to the rest of the Bears as an agitated Courtney walked by while Geoff talked from off-screen. "... So to make up for the arts and crafts fiasco, I decided to get on her good side with some compliments. But I'm so nervous, all I can tell her is 'You pitch a tent like a guy'. Clearly didn't get me _any_ where. So later-"

"For the last time,: Courtney said through gritted teeth. "I! Don't! Care!"

"Geez," Geoff scoffed. "I'm just trying to pass the time until we know a way outta here."

The buzz of static caught their attention, and the camera panned up to a monitor mounted on the wall as the rivals looked up at it. "Allow me to help you with that," Chris said over the live feed with a smug smile. "You just reached 'The Leap of Faith," he added with a thoughtful dramatic flourish of his hands as the camera zoomed out to show Geoff and Courtney at a ledge that stopped just before a misty pit. "Even with night-vision goggles," the camera panned to the mist, "you can't see the bottom. You gotta have _faith_ and just jump in," he said with a cheesy grin as the shot cut back to a nervous Courtney and pleased Geoff.

"It leads to the way out," Chris informed them, "or sharks," he added as a quick aside causing the two to widen their eyes in fear. "I honestly can't remember. Either way, you can't go back the way you came," he held out a small remote and pressed the lone button on it, and the camera cut to their entry tunnel being blocked by falling rocks.

"Good _luuuck_ ," the host finished mockingly before the monitor went black.

"That," Courtney gulped as the music turned dark and plodding, "that looks like a long way down."

"Well better get jumpin'," Geoff declared as he turned around and walked to the blocked tunnel.

"What are you doing?" Courtney asked in a slight panic.

"Getting a running start," Geoff answered with a smirk. "This is gonna be _sweet_!"

"But you don't know how deep it is!" Courtney complained. "Or if there are sharks down there!"

"Only one way to find out," the party dude retorted.

"That's completely and totally irresponsible," the prep cried.

"Best way to live brah," Geoff said with a tip of his hat. Without warning, he grabbed Courtney's hand and jumped with a "Woo-" that was cut off rather suddenly.

The camera panned down to show the 'Leap of Faith' was about a half-foot drop.

"How'd you know it wasn't that deep?" Courtney asked.

Geoff shrugged. "I didn't."

" _WHAT?!_ " Courtney screeched.

\

A reverent tune began to play as the scene flashed to the Floating Salmons walking into a cave bathed in a soft red light. "Whoa...," Katie said in awe as the girls gaped and looked around, and the camera pulled back to reveal the numerous red crystals jutting out of the rock around them – and the monitor mounted on the back wall.

It turned on from static to the live feed of Chris, and the reverent music stopped. "Welcome to the gem cave," he greeted. "This ruby ravine is home to a bear. But not just any bear," he said in a mischievous tone, "the _Bling Bear_!" he announced in a deep, dramatic, and creepy voice as the background music boomed. He laughed darkly, hunched over with his hands stretched out like claws.

Brick, Katie, and Izzy shared a disbelieving look. "Did you just say _Bling Bear_?" Katie asked hesitantly.

"Trust me," Chris said as the shot moved back to him, "you _don't_ wanna make him mad. Just walk through here without stealing a gem, and you'll be okay!"

"That seems easy enough," Izzy said as the shot cut to her close up. Suddenly the music turned tense and a roar echoed through the cavern.

"Aaaand, you fail," Chris pointed out with a delighted smile. " _Wow_. That was fast."

XXX

The confessional started with Izzy pounding her head against the side of the outhouse. "That wasn't even three seconds before we lost. I'M SURROUNDED BY _LOONS_!"

XXX

"I bet Justin stole one to use as a mirror," Katie scoffed.

XXX

Brick sat in the outhouse while staring at a gem from the cave with an entranced look on his face. "So shiny..."

XXX

The cavern shook, and something burst through the rock off-screen and to the left catching the team's attention. A dramatic riff played as the camera zoomed out, revealing a familiar-looking bear wearing scuba gear, gold chains, and gold teeth standing menacingly in a hole in the wall behind them.

"Hey," Justin said with a hand on his chin. "Isn't that just Scuba Bear with-"

"Shut up and _RUN_!" Izzy yelled, shaking the model out of his epiphany as they all ran off to the right, Bling Bear roaring and chasing after them.

\

"Hey check it out," Geoff said as the scne flashed back to him and Courtney, now approaching a cramped side tunnel. "It looks like a way out."

"Do I even bother explaining how dangerous that could be?" the prep deadpanned.

"Do you _want_ to stay down here forever?" the party boy snarked back as he crammed into the tiny entryway and slowly disappeared out of view.

\

The music became inquisitive as the scene moved back to Dawn and B, the latter fiddling with a mass of wires and computer chips while Dawn continued to meditate. The genius smiled and wiped some sweat from his brow, and Dawn opened an eye to peer at him. "Have you finished yet?"

B nodded and pressed a button on his cobbled-together remote. The ding of an elevator caught their attention, and the to looked to the right in confusion.

"I think I'm beginning to see your point about this cave,: Dawn commented as the two walked into the elevator shaft.

The shot rotated to show them inside the shaft, which had green carpet and tasteful cream coloured wallpaper, and faint muzak playing in the background. As they waited, B nodded his head to the tune and snapped his fingers to the beat causing Dawn to giggle into her hand.

\

A roar filled the air as the scene flashed back to the Salmons, now running through some other dark cavern while tense music played in the background. After a few seconds they skidded to a stop at the edge of a pool of water, and shared a look. "Do you think we're supposed to swim?" Katie asked.

"It _has_ been a while since Chris gave us any more instructions..." Brick replied.

Another roar caught their attention, and the camera panned to the left as Bling Bear ran at them on its hind legs. The teens yelped as he got close and jumped into the water, but the bear stopped at the edge. It sniffed the air, then waved its paw and grunted in repulsion before walking away.

"Not that I'm complaining," Justin said as the shot cut to him and his teammates floating in the water, "but why isn't he following us? He even had a snorkel."

"Who knows with this crazy show," Izzy replied off-handedly.

Brick sighed. "Frankly ma'am, I don't wanna look a gift horse in the mouth."

Izzy nodded, then looked around and smelled the air. "Okay, who farted? This place is _rank_!"

"Yeah," Justin frowned and looked from side to side, "it does stink in here doesn't it? Well...we should probably keep moving now that we're safe."

"Hey guys!" Katie called out, bringing the attention of her team and the camera to the right. "There's a stream," she said with a point to some water flowing out of an opening in the cave wall. "Maybe it leads to the surface?"

"Good work ma'am!" Brick said with an eager smile. "Salmon Company, let's move out," he added as he began to swim towards it.

\

The music rose up grand but tense as the footage flashed ahead to light pouring down into a narrow cave shaft through a round hole. "It's getting hard not to fall with all this mud," Katie complained from off-screen.

"Just keep moving," Izzy told her. "I see daylight!"

Katie climbed into view on the slope at the bottom of the screen, pausing just under the hole. "You're right!" Katie said, looking up through the hole with a smile as Izzy, Brick, and Justin climbed up next to her. "We made it!"

The scene immediately flashed to the outhouse as the door swung open and the Salmons ran out of it, covered in filth and screaming in horror.

The shot cut to them pausing to catch their breath, and they shared a wide-eyed look. "The _toilet_?!" Katie asked in disbelief. "We just _crawled_ out of the _toilet_?!"

"That must mean," Brick said in growing shock, "the water and the mud, they were..." He, Katie, Izzy looked at each other, then shuddered in disgust.

"That is _so_ gross...," Izzy moaned.

"GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!" Justin screeched at the top of his lungs as he ran past them.

\

The music became tense again as the scene moved back to Geoff and Courtney crawling along through a tight and slightly inclined tunnel.

"Are you sure this is the right direction?" Courtney asked in annoyance. "I don't think we're headed anywhere near the finish line!"

"Let me guess, you have a 'natural sense of direction' or something," Geoff replied testily.

Courtney huffed. "It comes with being a CIT," she said with a haughty look on her face. "But _you're_ the one who drug us down a random tunnel and-" She promptly bumped into Geoff, and looked back forward with shock and annoyance. "Umm, what's going on? Why did you stop?"

"Cause I see daylight... and what made this tunnel," Geoff said, the camera panning over to show him staring a a large number of angry gophers.

"For the record," Courtney said, "I blame you for this."

Geoff sighed. "Of course you do."

\

A deep and dramatic note played as the scene flashed to a nondescript clearing. The camera zoomed in as it panned to the right, showing Chris sitting in his lawn chair in front of his TV. It showed nothing but static, even as he frantically changed channels with his remote, and after a few moments he simply turned it off entirely. "Yup," he declared, "I've lost the kids." He looked to the right as Chef walked up behind him. "Better grab our getaway bags and fake passports, ' _Hector_ '!" Chef's eyes darted shiftily from side to side.

Just then the sound of nervous chittering caught their attention, and the camera panned out to show the gopher family running in fear out of their hole just as Courtney burst through the ground with a guttural growl as Geoff crawled out next to her. She looked around and quickly regained her composure. "Hey, we're in the lead."

"No you're not," Chris told them sternly as he walked over. "That wasn't the right exit."

"It wasn't the _worst_ one either," came the voice of Katie, drawing the attention to the right as she and her team walked up still covered in filth. Chef covered his nose as they passed him and backed away.

The shot cut back to Chris as his eyes widened in shock. "Whoa, where did you guys come from?" He sniffed the air, then grabbed his nose and recoiled in disgust. "And what's that _smell_?!"

"We came out through the-" Brick began to explain as Chef stepped back with a gas mask over his mouth before Justin waved his arms around and muttered something unintelligible and horrified sounding.

"I think we lost," Dawn said, the shot cutting to her walking over with B. "Maybe the others found a faster elavator?"

"Elevator?!" Chris repeated in outraged disbelief. He sighed, then glared at all eight campers. "Look, _none_ of you won. I said the first team to cross the finish line," the shot cut outward as he motioned vaguely towards the cave, "and _none_ of you _did_! You skipped _dozens_ of awesome challenges. We don't even have enough for an episode! You're all disqualified," he crossed his arms defiantly, "this whole episode is a _bust_!"

The campers looked at one another...then cheered. "No elimination tonight!" Katie exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh, no-no-no-no-no!" Chris replied. "There will _be_ an elimination," he told them with a devious smirk and laugh.

\

The scene faded to black, then to the elimination area with a few deep beat of a drum. All eight players were gathered there: the Confused Bears on the left with B and Courtney behind Dawn and Geoff; The Floating Salmon on the right with Brick and Katie behind Justin and Izzy.

"As you can see," Chris told them, "I had a special reward planned." He motioned to the right and a catchy jingle began to play as the camera quick-panned over to Chef standing by a buffet table loaded with meats of all sorts, and a few fruits and vegetables on the side. "Darwin's All-You-Can-Eat Food Safari!" the host said in an imitation old-timey upper-class English accent.

"Sweet spread dude," Geoff commented with a smile as the shot cut back to him, the sound of a blowhorn cutting him off before he could continue.

"Tonight's elimination will be," Chris said sternly before putting on an impish smile, "this _dinner_! Chef?"

"Lightin' it up," Chef said, the shot cutting to him cackling with glee as he poured gasoline onto the buffet table. He tossed away tank once it was empty, then lit a match and flicked it casually onto the feast.

It exploded into a short-lived fireball that left the food, the table, and Chef all scorched. Chef smiled, and the campers groaned.

"Now," Chris said as the focus moved back to him, "I have a serious matter to discuss. It's become obvious that a certain ' _couple_ ' is well on their way to Smooch City." The shot cut to Brick and Courtney glancing at one another. "I think we all know who I'm talking about," he added as they looked away with blushes.

"This type of lip-lock alliance is unfair to the other players. And _suuuuper_ awkward. So, to spice things up a bit," Chris said with a smile as the camera cut back to him, "I've decided to switch things around."

XXX

"This is why I shouldn't give in to my feelings for Brick," Courtney told the outhouse. "And I'm sure he feels the same way."

XXX

"Huh," Brick wondered in genuine confusion. "I wonder who the couple is..."

XXX

"So without further ado," Chris said with an impish smile as the tensest part of the usual elimination music played, "the person I'm sending to another team is... _Dawn_! Y'know, to split her and Beverly up."

The shot cut to three of the Bears gasping in shock, with B widening his eyes.

"Me?" Dawn asked in confusion. "And B? But we're not-"

XXX

B rapidly waved his arms around as if to furiously deny the accusation.

XXX

"Dawn and B huh?" Izzy mused. "I can see it," she said with a shrug.

XXX

"Dawn," Chris said decisively, "join Team Kinosewak."

The shot cut to Dawn as she looked to her team and sighed. She shared a quick hug with B, then trudged over to the left.

"Oh, and just so the teams aren't lopsided," Chris added mischievously. "Hmm...," he rubbed his chin in thought, "Brick! You're now on Team Maskwak."

Courtney was shown reacting with shock as the elimination peaked, then looking up to see her new teammate. "I guess we're no longer enemy combatants," he told her with a smile.

"Watch it with her dude," Geoff warned, causing Courtney's shock to give way to irritation.

XXX

"Seriously?!" Courtney griped in the confessional. "Is Chris doing this on purpose?!"

XXX

"So," Chris said, the capstone theme beginning as the camera panned across the rebuilt teams with Dawn and Brick having swapped seats, "we had eight, and eight remain. But," the shot cut to his close-up, "I promise we'll feed that cannon some human next time. Here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Not a whole lot to say since there wasn't an elimination this time. There's some development going on with Katie and Geoff and the more hints at the island's true nature, but other than that? Nothing.

As for the pairs...well, they were fairly obvious. The Salmons seemed the best fit for the Bling Bear and outhouse gag, Dawn and B for the fake croc, and Geoff and Courtney by the wayside.

The swap was a difficult thing to figure out, since there's not really any obvious pair of couples for Chris to break up. So I decided to have him put the one together under the guise of splitting one up. Because messing with Courtney seems like a total Chris thing to do.

Not much else to say. Things are gonna get difficult and painful from here on out, as these mostly beloved characters get picked off one by one...but hey, it's called Total Drama for a reason.

I hope you all look forward to the second half of the series.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney


	8. Three Zones and a Baby

**Author's Note:** Right on time! I personally hope everyone's having a Happy Valentine's Day. I mean, I despise the holiday with a passion, but I hope you guys don't. Me, I've got work and the release of Civ 6: Gathering Storm to be my Valentine.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

 **ANNOUNCMENT:** Have you guys missed seeing Tyler? Well good news! He's coming back for the Ridonculous Race. He and his buddy Steven will be competing as 'The Jocks'. And I'm really excited for their story.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Rule of Funny. We must never question it.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ Ugh, I hate non-elimination chapters. I feel like I have to work twice as hard to keep it from being filler. I don't know, something about the Katie/Geoff pace just seems off to me. I'm considering extending that plot past the season. It is amazing how much comedy I can squeeze out of a guy who doesn't talk though. And the team swap does force Courtney to confront her feelings.

 _ **PurpleShadowManipulator:**_ Thanks! You don't know how glad I am here you say the interactions were good. I hate writing scenes that don't lead to an elimination. Geoff is one of my favorites this season. I really feel like I've perfectly merged his first season and Captain Hollywood personas. And Izzy's saneness was a nod to the disaster challenge in season two. It's surprisingly hard to make her balance her crazyness and her intelligence. And I will definitely check out your story this weekend.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Responsible Izzy was one of my favorite moments in season two. This was the perfect challenge to add it in here. You know, I never made the connection between the Geoff/Courtney rivalry and Duncney. Well since fan response has been so well, I can say that Brickney will end better than Skave. And as for why Skave was ended like that, I read somewhere that the writers wanted to show that not all relationships work out. Of course they could've done a much better job about it.

 _ **Nicky Haugh:**_ Thanks!

 _ **Guest:**_ Nope, I fully plan on finishing this series out. Sorry, but I'm planning for the last few pairings of the series to enter crack territory. We only saw it for one episode in canon, but sane Izzy was my favorite. Honestly, the Bridgette and Brody references were to fill time because I'd already cut enogh of the episode. But I'm glad you liked it! And I couldn't leave Brick's fear out. It just fit so well.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I'm not planning on abandoning this yet. To much work was put into it. In hindsight splitting up B and Dawn made a lot of sense. Those two were close friends and half the team, the other half of which hated each other. It's still a bit unfair. No worries about the short review. Not a lot of twists that time. And yes, Geoff and Brody will be competing under their preproduction name of the Bromance Bros.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Thanks. I'll take 'decent' it's a pretty big comfort.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ It made sense as an elimination, too many carbs. All I'll say about the Scarlet episode is that I'm really looking forward to it. Of course there's only one way to know if yo're right about this one.

 _ **Guest 1138:**_ Well as interesting as they can be given this is the last pre-merge challenge. I'm actually pretty please to hear you can't nail down who'll be eliminated. It means I've been doing a good job with the plots. Or my penchant for curveballs is making me predictable.

 _ **Jubilee Jigsaw:**_ Thanks, but to be honest, that wasn't a high bar.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Brick, Courtney, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Dawn, Izzy, Justin, Katie

Be vewy vewy quiet, Chef's hunting campers

* * *

 **Episode 08: Three Zones and a Baby**

"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris began, the capstone theme opening over a long-distance shot of the island before the recap montage began. "The players had a ball," the host said over a clip of all the campers but Brick jumping into their respective teams' Turbo Orb, "that quickly rolled into a pit that everyone had to escape!" The orbs were shown rolling into the opening of the pit cave, then bouncing off the ledges and walls as they fell through it.

"Geoff and Courtney traded barbs," Chris continued as the montage flashed to the two snarking at each other before the challenge, "a _lot_ ," the party boy and prep were shown arguing shortly after escaping the cave-in, "and it was _awesome_." Courtney was shown sending one last barb at Geoff while they were facing down the army of gophers.

"Meanwhile, Dawn and B found more than they should've," the two Bears were shown walking into an elevator, "and Team Kinosewak showed us how _not_ to win a challenge," the four ran in horror out of the outhouse, "in the most dis-gus-turbingly hilarious way ev-er!" The four were shown with disgust, and hysterics on Justin's part.

"No one went home," Chris said as the montage skipped ahead to Dawn hugging B goodbye, "but I busted out a little McLean magic," Dawn was shown approaching Brick, who stood up and walked away, "and made Dawn and Brick switch teams."

The montage ended there, and the scene flashed to Chris standing by the rear of the cannon. "But, this is today," he told the camera, "and someone will blast away!" he gave the cannon a loving pat. "So hip-hip-hooray, for Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A peaceful, lilting tune played as the scene opened on the Salmons' bunker, the camera soon zooming in through the front window. A close-up showed Dawn sleeping peacefully in lotus position on a bed that, based on its orientation, had once belonged to Anne Maria; without opening her eyes, she cleared her throat and said "Is there something on your mind Katie?"

"How'd you know?" Katie asked in awe, the camera pulling back to show her brushing her hair in front of the small stand below the front window. "Gah!" she yelled in surprised when the camera pulled out just enough to show that Dawn was standing right next to her and peering at her.

Dawn pursed her lips, then took a step back. "It's all over your aura. You want me to vote for Justin."

"You can read auras?!" Izzy asked in excitement, rushing to Dawn and pulling her to the other side of the room before the other girl could attempt a reaction. "Read mine! Read mine!"

Dawn looked at the wild card intently for a moment, the smiled uncomfortably.

XXX

"Izzy's aura was like... if someone had a paintball fight in an museum of abstract art," Dawn confessed slowly. "I've never seen anything like it."

XXX

"Hey girls, have you got breakfast yet?" Justin's voice called out from across the divider.

"You could've gotten something yourself," Izzy answered back, both her and Katie's faces turning to scowls.

"No can do ladies," the model called back. "This is my first morning not being woken up by Brick and I'm staying in. Plus I found some fruit that works great removing discoloration from bruises."

The shot zoomed in on Katie as she stormed out with trembling rage. "Lazy, lying, good-for-nothing..." she muttered before slamming the door with enough ferocity that the whole structure shook.

Dawn from the door to the divider to Izzy, then sighed deeply.

\

A flash took the scene to the Bears' treefort as Geoff and B led Brick to the firepit. "We're back with breakfast, Courtney!" Brick called out towards the girls' side before laying his bag of fruit down on the ground next to Geoff and B's.

"So like I was saying," Geoff told the boys, "Brody tells me that he thought _I_ was supposed to pack the wetsuits. We only had enough cash for food and a motel and neither of us are about to drive five hours for some clothes."

Brick and B gave the party boy an amused look. B then rolled his eyes in way that suggested he could definitely see that happening.

"That sounds like a predicament," Brick said. "But you gotta tell us, what'd you do?"

"Okay, okay," Geoff laughed, and the camera cut to Courtney watching her team from the balcony with a half-hearted glare. "So we decided to just hit the surf anyway. I mean how cold could it _really_ be...?"

Courtney sighed and went back into her side of the shelter.

XXX

"Of _course_ Brick's bonding with the guys," she complained to the outhouse. "He's only kind, and thoughtful, and an amazing listener who can see past people's _obvious_ flaws and still treat them like normal people."

"I just hope _Geoff_ doesn't make him hate me," she added as a fearful aside.

XXX

"So, uh, looking forward to today's challenge?" Courtney asked B, the static cutting away to show them leaning over the balcony.

B gave a small shrug. He quickly noticed and looked back over his shoulder, a few tense notes playing as the camera panned down to show their teammates laughing at something.

B cut his eyes to the boys and sent a concerned glance at Courtney.

"Brick and I are friends," the prep explained sadly. "I don't want Geoff changing that. No matter how much I deserve it," she added quietly.

B's face portrayed he heard that last bit, but kept it to himself as he went into the boy's side of the treefort.

XXX

"It's simple," Courtney told the outhouse. "All I have to do is make sure the Salmons lose today, then the boys can't vote me off."

XXX

The static cut away to show Brick and Goeff sitting together on opposite sides of the firepit with a spread of fruit and fish between them.

"Man, I thought for sure the others would join us," Geoff commented.

"I guess they weren't hungry," Brick said. "Shame. I was hoping to compare and contrast strategy with Courtney," he smiled fondly. "She's something else," he explained to a mildly confused party boy. "I'm glad I have the chance to get to know her even more!"

Geoff swallowed a handful of berries. "Oh," he said with a blank look before a sudden realization seemed to come to him. " _Ohhh_!" he said slowly, ending with a knowing look and playfully mocking chuckle. "You _like_ her, don't you?"

Brick promptly spat out a bite of cooked fish. "Wh-what? No I don't!" he spluttered in a panic. "I mean," he reasoned as he calmed down, "I like her as a friend and rival, well I suppose we're no longer rivals, but nothing more!"

"Dude chillax," Geoff said with a knowing nod, "I understand. Truth is, Courtney's pretty hot," he added with a thoughtful look. "She's just a bit to stuck-up for my tastes. But the point is," he looked back at Brick, "I've seen how you act around her. And that's _not_ how friends act. You're into her."

Brick pursed his lips. "Maybe you're right. There's just something about her that just contents me, I guess. I like bein' around her. Maybe it's attraction, I don't know."

"Dude, have you never liked a girl before?" Geoff asked in disbelief.

"You don't have time for romance when you're in the cadets," Brick puffed himself up and declared.

Geoff smirked. "No worries man. I'll help you out. Anything to defrost the Ice Queen."

Brick awkwardly rubbed the back of his head and frowned. "Ice Queen?"

Just then, the sound of a blowhorn rang through the air outside. "Attention, by soon-to-be victims!" Chris announced cheerfully. "Your fate awaits at the grand clearing!" The shot cut to the loudspeaker, and then to the balcony of the treefort as Courtney and B gathered on it. "Last one there, eats a rotten e~egg!" the host taunted.

"Bear Company," Brick announced to his new team, "follow me!"

Courtney followed him with no objection, and B and Geoff shared a look before running after them.

\

The music rose up into a fast-paced tune usually used for challenges just before the scene flashed to the Salmon girls racing through the forest, Justin soon running up alongside them. "Hah! Looks like we've got this in the bag," he told them with a wide smirk. "No rotten eggs for this team, right ladies?"

The shot cut in close to show Dawn, Katie, and Izzy sharing a look. "Since when did _you_ start putting in effort?" Katie asked.

"I've always been a team player," the model replied with a brief flash of nervousness. "Especially when there's such a _beautiful_ girl on my team."

The camera pulled back just in time to show Justin, whose head was turned to look at Dawn, run straight into a tree. Katie and Izzy laughed as they ran onward with Dawn, and Justin groaned in pain.

XXX

"Okay, so Katie and Izzy aren't falling for me anymore," Justin confessed with a sense of calmness. "But that doesn't matter anymore. Now that Dawn's on the team, I've got a new _edge_. I just have to get her on my side and then it's a tied vote if we lose. Question is, which one of them should go?"

XXX

A flat fanfare played as the scene moved to a checkered starting banner, the camera panning down and to the left to show Chris and Chef standing with the usual TV cart. As the sounds of heavy breathing drew closer he checked his watch, and the camera soon pulled back to show Justin running up to take his place alongside his teammates with the Bears already there as well.

"Aaaaand Justin arrives last," Chris announced, a triumphant tune playing, "so! He gets to eat the rotten egg." He turned and nodded at Chef, who walked forward with a smirk.

"You're kidding right?!" Justin asked in a panic.

"Enjoy your meal," Chef said darkly, the shot zooming in as he walked up and held out a foul-looking egg to the model; Justin took one whiff of it and recoiled in disgust.

"I'll take that as a 'no'...," he said, covering his nose with his arm as he hesitantly took the egg. "Bottoms up," he said with a hint of nervousness as the camera focused on him. He gulped, then shoved the whole egg in his mouth...and scrunched up in disgust as an odd sound played.

"Alright, while Justin enjoys his well deserved brekkie," Chris said, drawing the model's watery eyes to the right, "the rest of you listen up." The shot cut to the smiling host, and he continued. "Today's challenge is called 'Hush, or Die'." An image took over the screen, depicting an orange arrow and a green arrow moving alongside a line that had been divided into three segments by tick marks. "The teams have to race through three separate and unique danger zones," Chris explained, a bluish logo bearing the number 1, 2, or 3 popping into place as the arrows passed by the corresponding section of the line. The camera pulled back to show the image on the television screen, and Chris raised a trio of fingers.

"The three zones have one thing in common, though," he added, switching to one finger before the on-screen image slid away to be replaced by a standard 'volume' icon with curved lines rippling out of it signifying the noise level. "The noisier you are, the greater the danger becomes." He smiled as an orange-ish skull and crossbones flew out of the on-screen icon.

The shot cut to an arrow-shaped sign with a '1' on it. "Area 1 is called," the camera pulled back and to the right to show several male lions dozing on the various boulders that littered the forest, "the Lion's Lunch. You gotta sneak through a field of sleeping lions. Wake one up," he joked as the camera panned onto even more lions, "and you're lunch! Haha."

"Sounds easy enough if they're asleep," Brick told his teammates.

"Oh," Chris interrupted, "and there are rattlesnakes, too." The camera panned from him back to the television, the live feed now focused on a snake curled up on a rock. It raised its head and hissed at the camera, rattling its tail as well.

"Oh...well okay then," Brick said nervously, "that's different."

"Okay guys," Izzy told her teammates. "No matter how friendly they seem, do _not_ let those snakes kiss you. They've got super deadly venom. Pretty awesome right?"

"The venom in our snakes has been _slightly_ diluted," Chris explained. "So, you'll only _feel_ like you're gonna die! If you make it outta that zone alive," the camera moved back onto the TV, "maybe you'll die in Area 2!" The lived feed cut away from the hissing snake to a pan across an ordinary-looking stretch of forest. "The _Pasta Blasta_!" Chris announced dramatically. "Make a noise in zone 2, and blindfolded Chef will blast ya with pasta!" The feed cut to Chef Hatchet, standing blindfolded with his bazooka by a stack of cans of his own brand of extra-spicy spaghetti. A bird started singing overhead, and the camera pulled back to show him crouching down on the large stump he was stationed at and firing a blast of pasta. It hit the bluebird, plastering it to the trunk of the tree and scattering a few feathers in the process.

"Please," Courtney scoffed, "no one's ever died by pasta."

"Truuue," Chris said slowly. "Unless the burning-hot noodles cause you to scream and wake-up the carnivorous Pasta Bear," he pointed out with a grin, a bout of static transitioning the scene to a large cave with several empty pasta cans scattered in front of it, "forcing your team to untangle you before you get eaten alive."

"Yeah," Geoff said as the shot cut back to the stunned faces of the Bears, "I can see how that'd kill someone."

Another round of static cut the scene to a panning shot of what looked like a snowy mountain trail of all things, the usual arrow-shaped signs still marking the zone. "The last phase of the challenge is crossing the Avalanche Zone!" Chris explained, ending in a dramatic tone as the pan reached the checkered finish line at the very end.

"Avalanche Zone?" Justin repeated dismissively, the camera pulling back to show him walking over to the television with a smirk. "No need to explain what that zone is about since you gave it such an uncreative name."

Chris frowned in annoyance and took out a walkie-talkie. "Chef! Gimme a shot, 10 o'clock, 73° high, please?" A shot rang off as he lowered his arm, and seconds later a blast of saucy spaghetti sailed down and struck Justin in the chest.

"Aaagh!" Justin groaned as the camera cut to him lying on the ground struggling with the pasta pinning him down. "What is it with this show and my hair?"

"Here's the _catch_ ," Chris ignored the struggling model to explain the the campers. "It occurred to me that you kids are young and agile enough to handle this challenge easily. So it would be hilarious if I found a way to turn youth against you!"

The Bears all shared worried looks.

"You're worried already," Chris mused, "I like that. Anyway, to make things more fun for me, _everyone_ will have to carry a special something through the entire challenge! It'll make it _way_ harder."

"Sure," Katie said skeptically, "but I still don't get what any of that has to do with youth..."

Chris grinned, and the shot cut backwards to show a shadow slowly moving over the group. "I'm glad you said that. _Release_ the _babies_!" he commanded, raising his arms to the air as the music rose up dramatically.

Everyone gasped and looked up, and the camera quick-panned upward to show a pair of familiar interns in the basket of a hot air balloon – hanging from the bottom of which were eight babies swaddled tightly in pastel cloth. The female intern pulled a cord, and the babies dropped...

XXX

"I thought Canadians were the _nice guys_!" Justin confessed in a panic.

XXX

A few deep, ringing notes played as Dawn, Katie, and Izzy were shown catching their babies with frantic looks on their faces. The camera panned left to show Justin doing the same, then B, then Brick, then Geoff, and lastly Courtney. One of the babies cooed in its sleep, but none of them stirred.

"This is insane," Courtney said, her eyes still wide. "You've crossed the line McLean!" The baby in her hands began to cry, and her eyes darted down to it.

Chris gently shushed her, then grinned. "They're _sleeping_ ," he stage-whispered. "You wake a lion up with a crying baby, and it's _not_ gonna be a party!"

The shot cut back to Courtney as she nervously looked down at her crying baby. "It's okay little one," she said, rocking the baby slightly as a soft yet tense classical tune played. "You can sleep now, I won't let anything happen to you," The music became soft before fading away entirely as the baby settled back down into sleep, and Courtney smiled genuinely.

"Who knew you had a heart?" Geoff asked in a whisper, the camera pulling back to show him, B, and Brick all staring at her.

Courtney looked from the baby to scowl at him. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she whispered harshly but quiet enough to keep her beby asleep.

"You're right," Geoff whispered back. "That was out of line."

"Aaand," Chris whispered, the shot jumping back out to show all of the campers looking towards him except Justin, who was still holding his baby out at arm's length and looking at it uneasily. "Go!' Chris finished, taking out his airhorn and giving it the slightest of toots.

\

The scene flashed to a close-up of Brick and Courtney cautiously tiptoeing through the first zone as a low, tense trill took over the background music. The camera pulled to show B and Geoff in the foreground, both looking around nervously at the sleeping lions and snakes but in doing so missing a small twig on the ground in front of them. B accidentally stepped on it and the music spiked; all four Bears froze as the snakes lifted their heads and started rattling.

A close-up showed a lion uttering a growling yawn and opening its eyes; it only blinked them a few times before falling back asleep. B sagged his shoulders in relief, and the focus moved to Brick and Courtney looking their way.

"Watch where you're going," Courtney hissed. "We can't mess this up!"

B just smiled sheepishly.

\

Another flash, and a low-to-the-ground shot showed Dawn stepping gingerly over a sleeping snake. The camera moved up and out as she sighed in relief, only for a slender and tan arm to reach out of a bush and pull her into it with a yipe.

The camera immediately cut to the other side of the bush to show all the Salmons there with their babies, Katie with a hand on Dawn's shoulder and a look to the side. "I have an idea," Katie said, the music becoming louder and more serious. "We keep our lead, then wake up anything we already passed. Let the _others_ deal with the lions. What do you think?"

"Whatever," Izzy said with an apathetic shrug.

"Fine by me," Justin smiled.

The others looked at Dawn. "Well?" Katie asked her expectantly.

"Mmm...well...," she said uncertainly. "It seems a little...underhanded..." She glanced to the side, and the camera quick-panned over to show Brick stepping around a snake, then slowly stepping backwards. The camera followed him as he unwittingly neared a sleeping lion, but a heavy breath from it caused him to freeze in place.

"It's either them or us," Katie told her as the scene returned. "Look, you're on our team now, remember?"

"I know, but..." Dawn said, still looking hesitant.

"No buts," Katie told her. "You're on a different team now, and this team wants to win the challenge!"

XXX

"It's not that I _want_ the others to get eaten," Katie defended. "But with lazy Justin, crazy Izzy, and Dawn, against the best players in the game, we need every advantage we can get."

XXX

"I saw Katie's aura," Dawn confessed. "It's starting to turn dark. I hope there's something I can do to stop it."

XXX

Dawn sighed. "I refuse to take part in this, but I won't stop you."

"Good enough I guess," Katie huffed. "But you better make good on not stopping us."

"I won't," Dawn said.

"Eee!" Katie smiled, bending down and picking up a stone, then throwing it off to the side. The shot cut to it landing next to a snake, causing it to wake up and start rattling – the camera pulling back to show it staring right at the four Bears.

"C'mon, let's go!" Izzy hissed at her teammates as the scene returned to them, the music turning tense as they all ran off. The camera lingered in place, however, to show the tree next to the bush they'd been hiding behind descend into the ground with a metallic whir...

\

The music spiked dramatically as the scene flashed back to the Bears looking down warily at the snake that was hissing and rattling in front of them. "Aw man...," Geoff muttered in muted panic.

"Just...just keep calm, everyone," Brick whispered. "We just gotta go around it."

"Around it where?" Courtney hissed, the camera moving behind them as she motioned to their front and the shot pulling back to show the snake sitting in the middle of a relatively narrow path between two lounging lions. "There's barely any room to walk!"

Brick gulped as the camera cut back to an angled shot in front of them. "Good point..."

"I think we should split up dudes," Geoff suggested. "Less chance of wakin' up that lion if we aren't all trying to squeeze past it."

"Also a good point," Brick said.

B nodded his agreement.

"Right," Courtney nodded before tiptoeing forward. Geoff followed her, while B and Brick headed off in a different direction; the viewpoint moved above and behind them to show them filing slowly around either side of the snake.

XXX

"Alright," Geoff said. "Time to see if Courtney's got a thing for Brick." He sighed. "Man, can you imagine how much better this game will be with her being nice?"

XXX

The static cut away to show the Salmons creeping through another part of the zone, Justin in the back and the girls in the front as they headed past another lion sleeping on a rock on the foreground. "Okay," Justin looked back and whispered, "I'm pretty sure we're ahead of the other team."

"Good," Izzy replied. "Just a little bit further and-"

All four stopped in their tracks as Justin's baby suddenly whimpered. "Oh no," the model moaned with wide eyes, holding the baby out at arm's length. "What's wrong with it?" It whimpered again, and the shot cut to the nearby lion stirring.

"How should we know?" Katie replied. "Figure it out yourself!"

"I don't know anything about babies!" Justin replied, his voice getting louder. His baby started crying, and the lion awoke with a snarl. "Oh, this is bad," he said.

"Yes. Yes it is," Dawn replied calmly, the camera pulling back to show the lion now standing and facing towards them. It roared, and they all screamed.

\

A pause sign appeared over the scene as it stopped, and the camera pulled back from the television to reveal it on the left end of an L-shaped desk. Chris was sitting at the outside corner in a tall-backed office chair and his usual smile.

"Will Team Kinosewak be eliminated from the challenge," he asked as the capstone theme played, "and _existence_ right now? Or, will they somehow escape the Kings of the Jungle? And what about those babies, eh? How _else_ are they gonna make everyone's lives more miserable? Find out soon, here on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a deep note, the camera just behind Dawn's right shoulder showing the lion growling and readying for a pounce. "We need to back away _very_ slowly," the moonchild whispered. "And don't make any sudden movements," another deep note played as the camera moved in front of her as she slowly took a step back.

"If we run, he'll think we're food...," she said, the shot cutting to Katie and Izzy nervously backing away as a third deep note played.

The shot then cut to Justin sniffing his crying baby, then gagging. "Brain, I'm likin' what you just came up with," he said to himself, dashing forward with his baby held out in front of him.

"What are you doing?!" Dawn exclaimed in shock as Justinn ran past the girls, coming to a stop just in front of the lion. It stopped mid-snarl upon being confronted with the crying baby, then sniffed the air and cringed.

"Get outta here Simba!" Justin yelled at it, thrusting his baby towards it as it backed up and tried to cover its nose. He took another step forward, and the lion turned and fled.

"Uh," Katie said as the shot cut back to the three shocked girls, "what just happened?"

XXX

"Kid just needed a diaper change," Justin explained casually. "Would _you_ wanna stick around a loud ball of smelliness?"

XXX

"Hey!" Justin grinned proudly as Dawn, Katie, and Izzy rejoined him. "Am I a genius or what?"

Izzy took a whiff of him and his baby, then held her nose and waved the air away. "Yuck! You smell like a butterscotch candy wrapped in rotten ham," she said.

Justin's baby started crying again, causing the girls to wince and quickly attend to their own infants before they woke up. "Yeah, we're just gonna go on ahead," Katie told him irritably. "Don't bother catching up until your baby's diaper is _changed_."

"But-!" Justin said in disbelief as Katie and Izzy started walking away.

"Sorry," Dawn stayed back to tell him, "but you're a target until you can get him calmed down."

"But I-" Justin tried to say before the camera pulled back to show that the moonchild was gone without a trace. "Where'd she go?"

\

The pause sign reappeared with a beep, and the camera pulled back to show Chris at his desk again. "Ouch," he cringed mockingly, "Looks like Justin isn't so hot right now. But since he and his teammates made it through the Lion's Lunch, they are ready for the _Pasta Blasta_!"

\

A deep, ominous riff played as the shot cut Chef loading his bazooka with another can of pasta, and blindly taking aim.

Katie gulped, and the camera pulled back to show her, Izzy, and Dawn all looking wary. "So...who wants to go first?" Katie asked with an awkward laugh.

"I'll go! I'll go!" Izzy cheered, running ahead before her teammates could reply.

XXX

"Hey no use trying to think of a plan when you can just head out," the wildcard explained with a shrug. "I mean, it's gotten me in trouble a few times, but what are the odds that'd happen _here_?"

XXX

Izzy smiled and held her baby close to her chest. "Alright, wish me luck," she told her teammates who silently waved her. A tense challenge tune rose up as she ran forward and slid legs-first behind a bush, only to roll forward from it moments later to hide behind a tree. The camera zoomed in as she leaned out cautiously from behind it, looked around, and nodded. "Okay, looks like the coast is clear," she whispered before tiptoeing back out into the open.

Moments later, she took a step and something honked; it startled her enough that she fumbled with her baby for a second.

"Did I forget to tell you the field is full of booby traps?" Chris asked over the loudspeaker, Izzy looking down at her feet and the camera cutting to her lifting her foot off a bike horn. "My bad!" the host finished as Chef was shown firing his bazooka with a grin.

Izzy screamed as she was hit with a large ball of meaty pasta, and the camera cut to her front to show her stuck to the trunk with pasta up to her chin, her baby held over her head. "Uh-oh," Chris taunted mischievously earning a nervous look from Izzy, "here comes _Pasta Bear_!" The camera pulled back just enough to show the left forepaw and hip of a bear standing up, with gold rings on two of its claws and some kind of strap around its waist and back.

The music turned tense as the viewpoint shifted back to the side, Katie and Dawn running up to their unpredictable teammate. "Katie, free Izzy," Dawn said. "I'll try and distract the bear."

"Got it," Katie agreed, stopping in front of Izzy as Dawn continued running. The hot-blooded girl set her baby down on the ground, then started pulling pasta off her teammate.

"Please friend," Dawn said, the shot cutting to her holding out her arms in a placating manner. "What? Are you a fake too?" As she spoke the camera cut to Pasta Bear's running feet, the back outward to show him – scuba tank on his back, gold chains around his neck, and blindfold over his eyes - running clear past Dawn to her suspisions.

"Did I forget to tell you that Pasta Bear is running on smell?" Chris asked mischievously as the bear was shown running along blindly, pausing to sniff the air, then resuming his run with an excited tongue-lolling grin. "My bad!"

Dawn's eyes widened. "Katie! You must hurry!"

The shot cut to Izzy and Katie, the latter frantically pulling pasta away faster and beginning to scream as the former scrunched her face in confusion. "Hey, that's Bling Bear!"

\

"Uggh, I can't believe people have these things on _purpose_ ," Justin groaned as the scene flashed back to him standing by the Zone 2 sign, holding what looked like a dirty diaper at arm's length with only two fingers. He tossed it away to the right, then turned his back to the camera, bent down, and picked up his baby – swaddled, awake, and smiling. "I have no idea if I did that right, but at least you're not crying anymore," he told it with a smile of his own

"What are you doing?" Courtney said, the camera zooming out to show her walking over with her own baby in hand. "You do know that baby can sense your nervousness. Right?"

Justin groaned. "I'm _never_ gonna win this challenge," he whined.

XXX

"Hmm," Courtney said to herself. "He's attractive, and has a horribly inflated ego. I think I know how to guarantee my team a win," she decided mischievously.

XXX

"I feel bad for Courtney," Justin confessed seriously. "Have you _seen_ her team? She's seriously starved for _beautiful_ male company. And _I_ am in an excellent position to fix that. Which should net me a pretty good ally when the teams merge."

XXX

Justin sighed and smiled, causing both babies to giggle. "Hey, from one beautiful and smart player to another-"

"Don't you have to get back to your team?" Courtney asked, visibly annoyed.

"Right!" Justin said in a poor attempt of seeming like he forgot, smacking his hand against his forehead. "One last thing before I go?"

Courtney rolled her eyes and sighed. "Make it quick."

"Okay, so I used to have the girls wrapped around my gorgeous little finger," Justin explained, missing the prep rolling her eyes. "But now it's like they're ignoring me. What's going on?"

An odd note played as the shot cut to Courtney's close-up, the prep looking annoyed. "Maybe they don't think you're that hot anymore?" she suggested as if it were the simplest answer in the world.

Justin's eyes widened as he was taken aback, then he started to laugh. "They don't think I'm hot," he repeated through his chuckles. "Good one Courtney. No it's gotta be something else. I'll ask them," he told the girl, turning around and walking away.

The camera lingered on Courtney as she started to smirk, then turned around at the sound of footsteps accompanied by a deep, ominous note. "What was that?" Geoff demanded, the camera pulling back to show him, Brick, and B finally arriving. "Why were you talking to _him_?"

"Believe it or not," she replied with a bit of sass, " _I_ just helped the team. For real this time," she added seriously before walking off screen.

Brick quickly followed with a wide smile, and B started running off as well before he looked back at Geoff and slowed down. The shot cut to him close-up as he pursed his lips, and eyed Courtney's retreating form suspiciously.

"Team Maskwak are in to Zone 2!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker as B and Geoff ran off. "But do they have what it takes to catch up to Kinosewak?" he asked the camera as it cut to him at his desk.

\

The scene moved back to the Salmon girls, Izzy included, now running through the zone. "Unless Kinosewak figure out their problem soon," Chris continued via the loudspeaker once more, "I'd say yes."

A quick-pan back to the left showed Pasta Bear still chasing after them to the usual tense challenge theme, and the scene soon cut back to the girls as they shared a look.

"This thing is like some kinda robot assassin!" Izzy said.

"Why can't the other team make some noise to throw it off us?"

"But then it'd run into Justin," Dawn pointed out.

Katie let out an annoyed scoff as the camera cut outward. "No big loss."

The three were suddenly launched into the air by a long spring-loaded panel hidden in the ground, screaming as they flew backwards. Pasta Bear came roaring up to the panel and the pit below it, then stopped and sniffed the air. It grunted in confusion, then wandered off to the right.

The music trilled tensely as the shot moved to Katie and Izzy landing with screams in a bush. Moments later Dawn walked up to the bush with all three babies in hand. "I saved the babies," she told them, and Katie and Izzy stood up out of the bush and with looks of annoyance and shock and took their respective babies from her.

"How did you-" Izzy started to say.

"Aw come on!" Katie interrupted as she looked around. "We got launched back to the start!"

"Come on," Izzy cheered. "If we hurry we might get to do it again," she said, charging to the right with Katie and Dawn following shortly after, the music rising in pace and intensity.

The shot quickly cut to them catching up to Justin, the model sending a shocked look back over his shoulder. "Weren't you ladies in _front_ of me a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah, but why are you so far behind?" Katie replied.

Just then, Courtney ran up to them with the rest of her team right behind her. "Hi again Justinn!" she greeted with an overly cheery wave, shocking all four Salmons. "Talk later!" she followed up with as she and her teammates ran on ahead.

"'Again'?!" Katie repeated angrily, glaring at Justin.

"Nothing you need to worry about," the model said condescendingly.

"Then why not tell us what you two talked about?" Katie asked.

"Not now!" Izzy hissed. "We're not done with the challenge yet."

"Yes, I agree with Izzy," Dawn said.

Katie huffed. "Fine," she said as Justin bent down slightly, and the shot cut to him scooping up a bicycle horn up off the ground. He then threw it hard as he ran, and the camera followed it though the air until it his Brick in the head.

"Oww!" he exclaimed as the horn honked and bounced off, landing with another honk. He sent a dirty look back as he rubbed where he'd been hit, then stopped in sudden realization and looked forward. The shot cut to Chef turning towards the sound and grinning, then firing off a blast of pasta.

Brick screamed as he was hit off-screen, and the shot quickly cut back to him and his baby plastered to a tree by the spicy spaghetti. He groaned as his baby woke up and laughed in delight, and the camera cut to Pasta Bear catching sniffing the air then excitedly running off to the left.

"Ohhh crap...," Brick said nervously as he looked off to the right. The passing Salmons caught his attention as they passed by, though, and he glared as Justin as he pointed and laughed.

XXX

"Regaining the lead that my team blew," the model told himself in a congratulatory tone. "Way to put yourself higher on the totem pole Justin."

XXX

The music turned slow and tense as the static cut away to show B, Courtney, and Geoff running up to Brick.

"I'll free Brick. Geoff and B, go distract Pasta Bear," Courtney said, pointing first at their trapped teammate and then back over her own shoulder. "And try to slow down those Salmons!" she added as she frantically tore pasta off her crush.

"On it!" Geoff said in a serious tone before he and B ran off, the camera zooming in on Courtney as she scowled in their direction then resumed freeing Brick.

A tense note was struck as the shot cut to Brick raising an eyebrow. "Umm...is something wrong? Uh, I mean, aside from me getting caught?"

"What were you and Geoff talking about this morning?" Courtney said bluntly, the camera jumping back a bit as Brick's eyes widened and he began to blush.

"W-why do you ask?" Brick stammered.

"Because he and I never really got along and I know he wants me gone," the prep explained. "So I just thought..."

"Well... we _did_ discuss something," Brick admitted, "but it wasn't voting you off."

"So what did you two talk about?" Courtney asked hesitantly, pausing as she grabbed the bulk of the pasta. "I'm sorry," she added. "It's not really my place."

"I don't mind!" Brick exclaimed. "I want to tell you... Geoff he, well, he helped me realize that I like you."

Courtney stared at him for a second, then looked down and yanked the last of the pasta off of him with a blush. "I like you too," she admitted as both grabbed their babies. "But I can't," she said while looking at him sadly. "We're in a competition. And after what I did to Britney and Dave..." She hung her head.

Brick sighed. "I understand. I'd like to discuss this further, but after the challenge," he said, and the two ran off.

\

A flash took the scene to B and Geoff, the tense challenge music rising up once again. The shot cut to Pasta Bear running towards them from the opposite direction, then returned to the boys as they skidded to a stop.

"Take the little dude dude," Geoff said, handing B his baby then turning around. "Alright bear, take a whiff of this!" he said, letting loose a massive but almost silent belch just as Pasta Bear came into view. The shot cut in to the bear's close-up as his head rattled around and he passed out.

"Yes!" Geoff cheered, pumping a fist then accepting his baby back from B and exchanging a high-five.

Moments later the music spiked dramatically as B's brow shot up and he pulled Geoff down into a crouch, a blast of pasta sailing right through where Geoff had been standing. "Whoa that was close!" Geoff whispered, lifting his right arm to look back at the spaghetti that had almost hit him. "Thanks for saving me!"

B replied with a thumbs up and a smirk.

\

"I think we're back where we got launched," Dawn whispered as the scene flashed back to the Salmons creeping along together.

"Good, just keep quiet and watch your step and we'll be fine," Katie replied.

Moments later the girls were hit in the head with small globs of pasta flying in from the left, causing them to stumble and crash into each other. "What the heck?" Izzy exclaimed, feeling the saucy pasta on her hair. "How'd Chef find us?"

Justin gasped as he caught sight of something to the right. "I don't know, but he's not done!" he hissed, quickly jumping to the side before a normal-sized pasta blast crashed into the girls from the right.

It was then that Geoff and B ran by, their hands covered in pasta sauce. "Haha, sorry guys!" Geoff laughed.

The shot cut to the girls growling and scowling in annoyance before panning over to Justin, a mild grin on his face. "Hey, not a bad trick," he said, "wish I'd thought of it first."

"Me too," Katie deadpanned, and with a startled look he quickly began working on the pasta that was binding the girls together.

\

Another flash took the scene to the Zone 3 sign, snow falling around it as the music slowed down. "Looks like Team Maskwak is going across the second finish line first," Chris announced over the loudspeaker as the four members of the team ran across the screen, B and Geoff out front with Courtney and a sauce-splattered Brick behind.

"Yes!" Geoff cheered, raising the arm that wasn't holding his baby. "We're in the lead dudes!" He shared a high-five with B, then turned to do the same with Brick only to catch sight of Courtney's glare.

"Sshh," she hissed," do you want us to get buried?"

Geoff just rolled his eyes and put his hand down.

XXX

"I guess Courtney _didn't_ have a thing for Brick after all," Geoff shrugged.

XXX

"Congratulations Team Maskwak," Chris whispered, standing before the four in his white parka. "You're in the lead now, and just one more zone to go. First, I need you to hand in your babies." As he spoke, the long-banged male intern jogged over with a red baby carriage.

"Why?" Brick asked as he handed his baby to the intern.

"Lawyers called Chef and said something about danger, and babies, and lawsuits, blah blah blah bleh bleh," Chris explained in an uninterested tone.

"What a relief," Brick said as the intern pushed the carriage away. "We don't have to worry about the babies anymore." Courtney, B, and Geoff gave him nervous looks, then looked to Chris as the camera panned to the right.

Chris let out an annoyed sigh. "I know, don't remind me. You're lucky I don't have a replacement ready to keep things interesting."

The Bears sighed in relief, then continued onward. "Y'know...," Geoff began slowly and softly, looking around at the mountain they were on, "I don't remember seeing this place before today..."

"Hey, you're right," Courtney added. "Which is strange, cause things like this don't really just...pop into place..."

"Hey, not my fault you guys didn't notice it before," Chris told them. "Cause trust me, it's always been here."

The music picked up as the scene returned to the zone 3 sign, the Salmons breathing heavily as they ran up to it and the intern. Justin, Katie, and Izzy quickly handed off their babies, but Dawn paused after holding hers up. The shot cut to it's eyes wide open, looking at Dawn with a bright smile and burbling.

"Hand over the baby and let's go!" Justin told him.

"If I hand him in now, he'll just begin to cry," Dawn replied in an even tone, the intern growing impatient as the moonchild continued to hold the baby up. The camera moved over her shoulder as she moved to hand the baby to the intern, only for it to tear up and its lip to begin trembling true to her word.

"Just...put it in the carriage, it's not that hard!" Katie told her.

"Whatever," Justin said quickly, putting his hands around Katie and Izzy. "We'll just go ahead and let Dawn figure things out on her own."

"What?" Izzy said in shock as Justin started pushing her and Katie forward.

\

"We need Dawn to cross the finish line with us or we'll lose!" Katie objected as the scene flashed to the three.

"I know," Justin told her. "I just needed to talk to you girls in private for a second."

"About what," Katie asked skeptically.

"Listen," Justin said, the camera cutting in for a close-up, "I know we haven't seen eye to eye lately, but the three of us need to stick together right now." The shot cut to Katie and Izzy sharing a disbelieving and uncertain look, then panned back to Justin as he gulped. "Look. The three of us have been close since we got here. Remember when we voted off Cameron?" he asked, not noticing the scowls on the girls' faces. "Why should we let whatever happened come between us?"

Katie smirked. "Do you really wanna know why we've been distant?" she asked innocently.

"Yes!" Justin grinned. "It's been bothering me for a _while_. I even tried to talk to Courtney about it, but she just had some crazy ideas."

"We just realized," Katie said before leaning in and whispering in the model's ear, "you're not that hot."

\

A soft, sweet tune played as the scene flashed back to Dawn, rocking her baby in her arms. "There there little one," she said with a warm smile, "time to go to sleep..." The intern rolled his eyes, earning a pout from Dawn.

She handed her baby to the intern and started to meet up with her team...

Only to stop in her tracks when a loud " _WHAT?!_ " rang through the air. A close-up of the snow-covered slope above them showed it trembling, then the music came to a blaring finish as the shot cut backward and the snow fell down onto both teams.

"Whoa!" Chris said in shock as the scene cut to him and Chef standing just beyond the finish line. "Hey, I think we finally lost someone!" he said, an excited grin forming as he looked to his gaping assistant.

"Not yet we didn't!" came the voice of Courtney, Chris looking back to the left in shock before the camera quick-panned over, showing the prep digging herself out of the top of the snow with Brick and Geoff doing the same on either side of her. Courtney hopped onto the snowy ridge and slid along it on her back, while Geoff and Brick hauled B out of the snow before doing the same.

Chris gasped, and triumphant music began to play as Courtney, Brick, Geoff, and B all slid under the finish banner. "Team Maskwak for the win!" he announced through his megaphone, raising his left hand excitedly. "Congrats on not dying," he added, stowing the megaphone as the four Bears walked over to him.

"Way to ditch the losing streak dudes," Geoff said coolly as he and Brick high fived.

"Yeah...," Courtney said in thinly-veiled joy, sparing a longing glance at the cadet.

The camera cut back to the snow as the four Salmons poked their heads up out of it. "What... happened?" Dawn stammered, looking around with wide eyes.

\

The static cut away to the usual shot of the moonlit island, the ceremony theme beginning as the camera zoomed forward slightly.

A deep note was struck as the scene cut to the elimination area, the four Floating Salmons seated in the front row and wrapped in full-body blankets – Dawn on the far left, Justin next to her, then Katie, and Izzy on the far right. All four were sending annoyed looks to the right, and the shot cut to Chris standing solemnly by the fire with a tray of three marshmallows in his hands.

"The following campers are safe," he said, picking up the first marshmallow. "Izzy," the shot cut back to the campers as the wildcard eagerly stuck a hand out of her blanket and caught her prize, "and Dawn." The camera panned to the side to show the moonchild getting hit in the forehead by her marshmallow, startling her out of her thoughtful stupor.

XXX

"I know I should be worried," Justin confessed calmly, "but I'm not. You see, I talked to Dawn and Izzy before the vote and used my ultimate lady-killing move. The Mega Hair Flip." He slowly shook his head from one direction to the other, and his hair moved about even slower before falling back into its normal perfectly well-coiffed position.

"I'm back baby."

XXX

The static cut to a smug Justin watching as Chris announced "...and tonight's human cannonball is..."

The camera cut from Justin, to Katie rolling her eyes, to Chris holding the marshmallow in his hand with a smirk and back to-

" _Jus_ -tin," the host announced.

The model gasped in shock and stood up. "But why me?" he asked. "I'm the most beautiful person on the show! That alone should've gotten me to the merge!"

\

The footage flashed ahead to show Justin loaded into the cannon. "Just so you know," he declared bitterly, "this show just got 75% less handsome!" Without warning the cannon fired him off screaming into the night.

"Actually, no it didn't," Chris grinned as the shot cut back to him and now Chef at the base of the cannon. "Because _I'm_ still here."

Chef rolled his eyes, but the host ignored him. "Tune in next time," he told the camera as the capstone theme played, "for more pain, and less fun, right here on Total! Drama! Paaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Yeah, this will probably be the least unexpected boot of the season. What can I say? As much as I love Justin's character, this specific group of people just didn't lend itse;f well to him lasting a long time as he is. And now we're at the merge. And if canon placements alone are a reference it is the most out there merge to date. I mean, who pictured Katie lasting to this point of a debut? I'm really excited for what's coming post merge, you won't wanna miss it.

I am pretty proud of how it all went down, by the way - between Justin's poor attempts at scheming, and Courtney's pretty good attempts, it was set. And Katie had a hand in causing his outburst that made the team lose. Justin was just playing checkers when everyone around him was playing chess.

Oh, and while this elimination is more important to the story than Topher's in canon, there's a minor line in there that really sets up the final third of the game. Just sayin'

Anyway, that's it for the pre-merge portion of the game - though the cast doesn't know it yet. I hope you're all looking forward to next week...

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin


	9. Hurl and Go Seek

**Author's Note:** Gathering Storm is going great. Well I've had to drop a difficulty level, but I'm really enjoying the new mechanics and factions.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Guest:**_ It's nice to see you're happy with all the remaining campers, that means I've done a good job writing them. But I don't plan on any foreshadowing, for the next episode.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Yeah, it was Justin's time to go. But all I'll say about Dawn's confessional is that it could mean any number of things. At this point I'd say any one of the seven could win.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Like I said, Justin was not a very surprising elimination. Katie is definitely an interesting character thus far. But she'll return to her old self eventually. It's interesting how many people are talking about episode ten. That's not for another week. I'll see what I can do for the race. There's so much to plan there.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ It is, but I'll go into more detail in the post script.

 _ **WeirdAlFan101:**_ Eh, is anyone really upset when an antagonist gets the boot. No Ridonculous Race newbies have been cut. I'm adding some extra teams to reduce the appearance of plot armor in some of the teams.

 _ **OMAC001:**_ Not quite, remember I said there'd be three antagonists this season.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Not gonna lie, a bit of Justin's dialogue was based on Topher's. I always thought Courtney had a conscience, she just needed someone to actually bring it out. I'm glad you like Katie though. I took a pretty big risk with her and it's nice to know that's it's going over well. No comment on the swamp monster.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Justin wasn't really meant to be surprising, but I'm glad you like my portrayal of him. and everyone else.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ I find that B works well with pretty much anybody. It's not hard to see how he made it this far.

 _ **PurpleShadowManipulator:**_ Dawn's cryptic comment will be explained in time. I'm glad you like Courtney and Brick. The former especially. It means I've done a good job keeping my own bias out of her character. It's funny how Justin's a minor thought in most of the reviews despite that being his elimination. And I have checked out your story. I really like it.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Waneyihtam Maskwak:**_ B, Brick, Courtney, Geoff

 _ **Pimâpotew Kinosewak:**_ Dawn, Izzy, Katie

This week we have a sick game of hide and seek

* * *

 **Episode 09: Hurl and Go Seek**

"Last time, on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!" Chris began along with the capstone theme, the opening shot of the island unusually showing it at night. The montage began with a flash, the first clip showing Justin running into a tree while his team passed him by. "Justin made sure he was still on good terms with the girls," Justin was shown congratulating himself in the confessional, then chatting with Courtney during the challenge. "And he _wasn't_ ," Chris said with a knowing laugh.

"My insane challenge-" Chef was shown blindly firing his pasta blaster- "put the teams in some crazy-" the Salmons paused in sudden fright as Justin's baby started crying, waking up one of the nearby lions- "dangerous-" the Salmon girls were catapulted backwards into the air by a large hidden panel- "situations," Chris explained, ending with a clip of both teams getting caught up in the short avalanche.

"Dawn got to know her new teammates," the host continued as Dawn was shown smiling uncomfortably at Izzy, then peering at Katie. "And Katie _finally_ tols Justin how she _really_ felt about him," Chris said as Katie stormed out of the bunker, then later whispering to Justin that she didn't think he was hot. "He didn't take it well," Chris laughed the avalanche was shown again.

"Justin tried to flirt with Dawn," Chris continued over a clip of Justin's confident final confessional, "which worked as well as every other thing he tried yesterday," rapid clips were shown of him running into a tree, being abandoned by his team when his baby needed a diaper change, and his attempt to flirt with Courtney, "and she joined the other girls to send him packing." Justin was shown being launched out of the Cannon of Shame.

"We're halfway through the game," Chris said, the montage ending to show him standing at the elimination area, the starry night sky still behind him. "And only seven remain. Who's next to go? Just watch the show. It's time for Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A deep note played as the episode began, the music becoming low and trilling as the camera panned slowly and slightly to the right across the Bears' treefort. "Ssshhh, sleepyheads!" Chris said lightly over the camp loudspeakers, the camera moving to pan across the nearly-empty girls' side to show Courtney sleeping alone, followed by a long-distance shot of one of the island's valleys. "I'm here to turn your dreams, into _nightmares_!" The shot cut next to the Salmons' bunker. "Picture yourself on a _daaaaangerous_ island," he said, the music beginning to rise sharply as the camera flew slowly into the loft through the open window to show Katie, Dawn, and Izzy sleeping soundly.

Chris blew his airhorn, shaking the barn and jolting the girls awake. "PSYCHE!" he said loudly as the shot cut to one of the loudspeakers.

" _Aagh! DUDE_!" Geoff yelled in pain as the shot cut to the boy's side of the treefort to show him lying under the side window with his hands on his ears.

"I'm up, sarge!" Brick cried out desperately, the cadet standing sleepily at attention while B wiped the sleep out of his eyes and glared at the general direction of the loudspeaker.

"You already _are_ on a dangerous island!" Chris said with a laugh. "Meeting area! _NNNNOW_!"

Brick scratched his head in confusion, and B rolled his eyes.

\

The scene flashed forward to a tired Courtney walking up at the back of the pack of campers. Brick smiled at her, and she smiled and blushed back before settling her face into a glare at the host.

"Is there a reason you decided to wake us up in the middle of the night?" the prep asked irritably.

"Ugh, if this is some stupid night challenge, I swear..." Katie griped.

"Dude, can we go back to sleep now?" Geoff asked sleepily

The viewpoint shifted behind the cast peeking out between Dawn and Katie to show Chris standing in the distance in front of a large red curtain. "The reason I called you here is because," the host began, "it's time to merge the teams. Consider yourself merged!" he said, raising his arms cheerily.

"And that couldn't have waiting until morning because?" asked a rather annoyed Courtney.

"Hey," Chris shrugged impishly as the camera cut to his close-up, "if you guys don't want the Midnight Merger Meal, then fiiiiine. Go back to bed!"

B crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Chris shrugged angrily. " _Fine_ , the lawyers called to say that feeding only _one_ team every couple days was technically ' _starvation_ '. So," the camera jumped back behind the campers, "this is a legally-enforced team merger celebration dinner." The curtain behind him rose to a grand theme, revealing a high-class dining area with a long covered table, high-backed red-and-gold chairs, as well as silver candelabras and chandeliers. The campers cheered in excitement.

The camera began a slow pan across the set-up. "It was gonna be gourmet pizzas, bison burgers, and sweet potato fries," Chris explained, the shot quickly reaching him at the far right end of the table – with Chef and a dining cart bearing a large covered dish. "But, the silk tablecloth and the silver candelabras put us _waaaaay_ over budget. So, tonight, you'll be eating..."

A drumroll began as he motioned to the tray cover, the camera zooming in as Chef moved to lift it. "Juggy Chunks!" Chris announced, the drumroll ending in a short fanfare as the cover was lifted on a large glass pitcher of something...frothy, sickly green, and filled with what might have once been meatballs. It was bubbling rather like a swamp.

All seven campers gasped at once, recoiling in horror and disgust. "Eww, what is that stuff?" Katie asked.

"Yeah, I've never heard of Juggy Chunks in my life!" Brick chimed in.

"They're kind of an American thing," Chris explained nonchalantly. "One of the old competitors suggested them."

XXX

"Man, those Americans are really crazy," Izzy laughed

XXX

"This _fabulous_ dinner will be used as a pre-challenge," Chris explained, the campers now seated and Chris handing out mugs of Juggy Chunks to each one – starting with Brick on the far right end, then Dawn, then B. "The first player to finish their cup of Juggy Chunks will be safe from elimination." As he spoke, the shot cut to the far left end to show Courtney and Geoff receiving their mugs, both boys looking warily at the bubbling substance. "Alright, everyone," the boys looked up and to the right and the focus moved back to Chris and Chef, "grab some chunks!"

Chef leaned in towards the host, putting his free hand to the side of his mouth and whispering "This stuff _expired_ in 19 _76_!"

"Oh it'll be _fine_ ," Chris replied, shielding his mouth as well. "They're mostly meat, eggs, and mayonnaise, and I kept them somewhere _very_ warm." He leaned back, extended his right hand towards the off-screen contestants, and smiled. "Ready? Set? Enjoy!" He took out his airhorn, and gave it a sharp blow.

The shot immediately cut to the mug of chunks in front of Geoff, the camera panning up as he shuddered. "Man, I'd rather drink fruit punch from a communal toilet," he remarked.

B took one whiff of the 'dish' and immediately gagged.

Geoff spared him a worried glance. "You okay man?" he asked, earning a gulp and sickly nod in return.

XXX

B tapped his stomach and shook his head. Then he sighed, clenched his fist, and stared determinedly at the camera.

XXX

The static cut away to show Izzy gulping, then taking a deep breath before taking a swig of the chunks. She put her mug down after a second and forced herself to swallow. "Not bad," she remarked before happily taking another swig.

A couple deep notes played as the camera panned left onto Courtney, who turned an uneasy look from the wildcard to her 'meal'. She pinched her nose and took a swig of her own chunks, then belched wearily with slop still lining her mouth.

XXX

"I can't believe I have to eat something so disgusting," she complained to the outhouse. "I'll be surprised if this show gets renewed for another season after we all die of food poisoning."

XXX

"Ugh, I always hated watching the night challenge episodes," Katie griped, sitting against the wall of the outhouse with her arms crossed and her eyes narrow. "But," she straightened up, "I'm not gonna give up. Especially since I've made it to the merge. I _promised_ Sadie I'd win for us. And that's what I plan on doing."

XXX

The challenge resumed with a shot of Katie chugging her mug of chunks. After a few seconds, she lowered her cup and gasped for air. "This is _horrible_!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"It's not that bad Katie," Brick replied, the camera panning over to show him finishing a chug of his own, "It's only slightly worse than boot camp."

Katie narrowed her eyes at him then resumed chugging.

XXX

"Has Brick always been that annoying?" she asked.

XXX

The camera panned left away from Katie and Brick and onto Dawn. She took a sip of her chunks, shuddered, then took another small sip.

"You're never gonna win immunity like _that_ Dawn," Chris said as he walked by in the foreground. Dawn sighed, then began to chug her mug of chunks.

She only last a couple seconds before her stomach rumbled ominously and Dawn was forced to set her mug down, her slop-covered cheeks bulging. She looked to the right, and the shot cut to Izzy taking another swig and smiling. "This stuff is pretty good!" she said brightly.

Dawn shuddered in disgust.

XXX

"I'm not vegetarian by any means," Dawn told the outhouse calmly. "But something about that meal just feels.. _wrong_. And it not because Chris gave it to us."

XXX

The challenge resumed on a shot of Chris, shaking his head and tutting by the far left end of the table. "You kids are _so_ disappointing," he said. "Need I remind you that with the teams merged, _any_ of you could be voted out tonight unless you win immunity? Cause it doesn't look like you care."

"Finished!" came the voice of Izzy, the camera following everyone's sudden looks back down to Izzy, her mouth covered in chunks as she raised her largely-empty mug. Her stomach rumbled ominously, but she blissfully ignored it.

"I stand corrected. Izzy wins the pre-challenge," Chris announced, the camera cutting outward to show Brick and Courtney still drinking on obliviously, "and has immunity."

"I won!" Izzy cheered, raising a fist. "What'd I win again?" Dawn, Katie, and Geoff all groaned in disappointment and B sagged his shoulders.

"Brick! Courtney! You can stop now!" Chris said, the shot cut in close to Courtney as she continued to chug.

She finished her 'meal', then stuck out her mug and turned it upside down, uttering a weak "Done!"

The shot cut over to Brick as he forcefully chugged his down as well, then slammed the mug down on the table, wiped the slop from his mouth, and groaned out "Ugh...done..."

XXX

"I finished that whole jug," Courtney asked in angry disbelief. "For _NOTHING_?!"

XXX

"I know I lost," Brick admitted sheepishly. "But I just don't like leaving things unfinished. "It's something they drill into you at the cadets," he explained proudly.

XXX

A light, plodding tune started to play as Courtney walked over to Brick, both teens now in front of the table. "Grr, I can't believe after all that I didn't win!" Courtney growled angrily.

"Hey," Chris said, the camera following their gaze to the right to show him and Izzy standing at the right end of the table. "You're the ones who kept eating after Izzy finished," Chris finished with a mocking shrug and smile.

Courtney snarled, moving to lunge towards Chris only for Brick to hold her back.

"Whoa, hey, it's not worth it!" Brick told his crush with a hint of shock in his voice.

XXX

"I've never seen that side of Courtney before," Brick confessed. "I'm not sure if I like it."

XXX

Courtney was taking deep, calming breaths as the scene cut back to her. "Sorry," she said, "I just really don't like losing."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," Brick said, the camera pulling back to show his arms still around Courtney's waist, "you beat me."

"...it doesn't," the prep admitted after a moment, "but thanks anyway." Brick let go of her, and the two walked over to join the rest of the losing campers who were looking at them awkwardly.

"Okay, on that note," Chris spoke up, the camera cutting outward to include him and Izzy in the shot, "it's time to introduce our nighttime challenge: Hide, and Group Seek." The focus moved to him and Izzy alone, and the background music became tenser. "Izzy won immunity, so, she will be 'it'."

Izzy jumped in the air and pumped her fist. "Awesome!"

"Everyone will be given a head start to go and hide," Chris continued, "then Izzy will come and hunt you down. Each person Izzy finds," he explained as the camera panned slowly across the other campers, "and tags, joins her to search for the others. You hunt _together_ ," he emphasized, " _no_ splitting up." The shot cut back to him and Izzy alone. "Anyone tagged before sunrise will be on the chopping block at elimination. Anyone not tagged by then will also have immunity."

"What happens if all of us evade her until sunrise?" Courtney asked.

"Hmm," Chris said, the camera cutting back to his close-up as he rubbed his chin in thought, "a surprisingly good question. In the unlikely event that Izzy fails to tag anyone before sunrise, I'm gonna say that nobody gets immunity, not even her."

Izzy shrugged. "That seems fair."

"I'm glad you think so. Because I wanna shoot one of you kids out of the cannon later," Chris countered.

XXX

"Did I mention I once did some training for the reserves?" Izzy asked. "I've said so much on this show I honestly can't remember."

XXX

"Well, now that everyone's clear on what they're doing, it's game _time_!" Chris said delightedly. "Everyone but Izzy," he took out his airhorn, "go hide!" A close-up showed his horn being blown, and a tense bit of music played as B, Dawn, Geoff, and Courtney all ran off into the woods.

The focus moved to Katie as she smirked and turned around. "Good luck finding me," she taunted, "cause you're gonna _need_ it." She ran off, and the shot cut to Izzy looking undisturbed by the taunt.

"No I won't," she shrugged happily before noticing something back on the left. "Uh? Brick? Hello?" The shot cut to the boy in question, his head hung thoughtfully. "You...alive in there?" she asked, waving her arms wildly in front of his face.

Brick looked up in sudden surprise, his face blank. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, just thinking about some things. I'll be going now." He ran off, and the camera moved back to show Izzy smiling obliviously.

XXX

"Now that I know how I feel about Courtney," Brick told the outhouse, "I can't really stop thinking about our situation. Part of me wants to respect her wishes and just leave things where they are, but part of me wants to get her to change her mind."

"I'm not really sure which one I should listen to," he admitted.

XXX

A low, plodding tune played as the scene resumed on Izzy and Chris at the dining area. "So...," Chris began awkwardly as the camera cut in closer, "how 'bout them Juggy Chunks, eh?"

"Pretty good," Izzy said honestly. "You got anymore?"

Chris was momentarily taken aback, but quickly recovered. "No. No I don't. You understand that that was a _challenge_ right?"

"Hey, good is good," Izzy replied with a shrug and a smile. The camera jumped outward as the two were silent for a moment, before Izzy said "So how long is that head start anyway?"

The host checked his watch. "Not short enough," he muttered. He walked to the left past Izzy, then cleared his throat before yelling "Here comes Izzy!" and blowing his airhorn again.

Izzy ran off, belting a Tarzan yell at the top of her lungs.

"So the hunt begins," Chris said over a shot of Izzy running into the forest. "Anyone Izzy finds before sunrise is up for elimination," he told the camera as it moved back to him.

\

The music became fast and intense as the scene flashed to Geoff and Katie running through the forest together. "Dude, I am so glad the teams merged so we can work together," Geoff said.

"Me too," Katie said, the camera cutting in close. "I can't believe I made it this far. Do you think we could make it all the way to the finale?"

"Heck yeah!" Geoff laughed before abruptly becoming serious. "But seriously, we gotta be careful from here on out. Right now I'm thinkin' we get the your old team to vote for Courtney with us."

Katie nodded as the camera moved back to her. "I don't think Dawn's gonna vote for her," she said seriously.

Geoff sighed. "That means B probably won't either. We need _four_ votes if we're gonna get rid of her though."

"W-well, I might have an idea," Katie told him. "But for now, I really think we should focus on the challenge. We can't let Izzy find us!"

The camera cut outward to show the two teens disappearing into a dark, dense part of the forest...

\

A flash, and the view moved to Courtney as she crept along through the woods. "Okay,how am I supposed do this?" she asked herself, eyes searching around. "All I really need is to avoid Izzy, and that means I should keep moving." The camera cut in closer. "She has way more stamina than me, so I should find a safe place to hide. Preferably somewhere with lots of shiny objects so she'll get distracted."

The shot zoomed back out as Courtney slowed down, a thoughtful and contrite look on her face. "That's the kind of attitude that got you branded as a villain Courtney," she said to herself. "Stop it!" she slapped herself across the face, "it's too late to go back. If using the other's weaknesses against them is the way to win than that's what I need to do," Courtney decided as she began to walk again.

"And I _really_ need to stop talking about myself," she added, the camera cutting outward just as her stomach growled ominously and she stopped in her tracks again.

XXX

"Urgh...," Courtney groaned, her complexion ashy and her hands clutching her stomach. "I hope I can find a hiding spot soon," she said. "I think something was wrong with those Juggy Chunks..."

XXX

The static cut away to show Brick leaning with his back against a tree, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from his brow. "Okay. You can do this," he told himself. "Just...stop thinking about the dark, and start thinking about how you're gonna win this challenge."

The camera jumped back and up several yards, looking down at him from the branch of a tall tree. His brow shot up as he noticed it, and the shot cut back to him as he gave a small smile. "Maybe I can hide in the trees?" A sudden gurgling from his stomach caused him to wince and double over. "Okay, maybe I can't," he said weakly. "But...I need to try!"

A triumphant tune played as he grabbed the tree and began to slowly inch himself up its trunk and out of view. Only for the music to halt as the cadet fell out of the tree and onto his back with a groan. "Can I get some help here?"

\

The scene abruptly cut to Chris watching a live feed of Brick on his widescreen TV. "Looks like Brick just fell like a ton of 'em," he said as the capstone theme began. "Who'll successfully hide, and who'll take the cannon ride? Find out when we come back, to Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!" A few storms clouds rumbled as the camera cut progressively outward.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

A deep note was struck as the episode resumed, the scene fading into a vacant stretch of forest. "Eurgh...," Dawn groaned as she and B walked on-screen from the right, both looking pale and sickly and ashy respectively. "Are you feeling as bad as I am right now?" Dawn asked.

B slowly nodded in agreement.

"Well...whatever it is, we should probably find a place to hide so we can catch our breath," Dawn said as the two came to a stop.

B nodded again, then pointed off to the left; the shot quick-panned over to show a large bush.

The camera zoomed in slightly as Dawn and B walked up to it. "That should work," Dawn said weakly. "I think we covered a lot of ground before Izzy started moving, so we should be safe for awhile..." she said as she stepped into the bush.

B nodded in agreement as she followed after B, and the point-of-view promptly moved inside the bush to show the two huddled close together in the space between the branches.

"This is not going to help the rumors about us..." Dawn commented, hugging her knees in the left half of the space.

B sighed and shook his head.

"You're certain Charlotte won't be jealous when she sees this.

B waved her off with a genuine smile. A touching tune played as they bumped fists...only for both of their stomachs to suddenly growl, causing them to groan in pain.

XXX

"Oh, I've never felt anything like this before," Dawn confessed, clutching her stomach painfully. "What was that meal?"

XXX

The static cut away to show Courtney sitting behind a bush, the background music low and slow and tense. A branch snapped somewhere in the distance, and the prep started to gasp – only to quickly cover her mouth. With wide and fearful eyes she looked up at the top of the bush, and the camera moved over it to show Izzy standing several yards beyond it.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" she called out in an almost sing-song voice. "I know you're there. You can't hide from me forever." The camera briefly cut back to her prey before returning to a close-up of the hunter. Izzy sighed and shook her head. "I followed your footprints here y'know. It'll be easier to give up than for me to chase you across the island. You don't wanna be the only one who's not immune do you?"

The shot cut back to Courtney, her hands still clamped over her mouth but her brow now furrowed thoughtfully.

The shot cutting back to show Izzy walking along a path with her eyes glued to the ground. A sudden rustling to the side caught her attention, causing her to grin and silently creepy over to a large bush. She paused when a pair of eyes looked out at her.

"Run, dude!" Geoff yelled, popping out of the bush with Katie. The two ran off, leaving the camera to linger on a grinning Izzy.

"Gotcha!" she said to herself, quickly smirking and chasing after her new prey.

The camera pulled back and panned to the side to show Courtney again, lowering her hand and breathing a sigh of relief.

\

"Thanks for the info," Chris said, talking on his cellphone as the scene abruptly cut to him, Chef, and their television showing the challenge feed. The person Chris was talking to said something, and he replied "Very helpful." They said something else, and Chris ended the call. "Well, you were right," he told Chef. "According to the Juggy Chunks Poison Hotline, the kids should _not_ have eaten expired Juggy Chunks. They might have severe nausea, vomiting, strange behavior, and, hallucinations!"

"And that makes you _happy_?" Chef asked in disbelief.

"I'm actually more impressed they have their own poison hotline," Chris replied. "That just shows you how much these Juggy people care," he added as a touching melody played. "But we should keep an eye on the kids. Y'know, just in case."

\

A deep, ominous tune played as the scene returned to a much paler Brick, now sitting against a tree and clutching his stomach. He groaned, then looked up with bleary eyes as a raccoon hopped over and looked at him curiously. The viewpoint became Brick's as he looked back at the raccoon, his vision suddenly blurring and the form of the raccoon shifting into that of a very small Courtney. 'She' opened her mouth and chittered at Brick, her expression fearful but her tone neutral.

The shot cut back to a sideview of Brick as he yelped in fear and threw his hands up over his head. "Courtney!" he screamed, startling the raccoon into running away. After a moment Brick lowered his hands, looked up, and rubbed his eyes. "She must be... in trouble," he said wearily.

He groaned and stood up. "I have no choice," he declared. "I have to find her. Keep her safe."

He took two steps to the left before his stomach growled painfully, forcing him to stop and clutch. "Seriously!" he said almost angrily before groaning in pain. "Cadet training tip 502" He stuck his arm out and checked his own pulse, then felt his forehead and gasped. "Food poisoning! No wonder I feel so awful," he said, raising a finger to his lips thoughtfully, "Well," the camera pulled back as he stood up straight and proud, "I'm not gonna let it stop me. I'm large and in charge."

As he moved to continue on left his stomach growled again, causing him to stumble and trip. The shot cut in close to show his head slamming to the ground.

\

The music turned fast and tense as the scene flashed back to Geoff and Katie running through the forest, both looking pale and sickly. "Dude," Geoff panted, "I really don't feel good."

"J... just keep running," Katie replied with a pant of her own before looking back over her shoulder and widening her eyes in shock. "She's catching up!"

"Aw come _on_!" Geoff replied in disbelief as he looked over his own shoulder, and the camera promptly panned back to the right to show Izzy running towards them.

"Just give up," she called out, looking as normal as ever, "I can keep this up _all_ night!"

The shot cut back to Geoff and Katie looking at each other in distress. "I can't run any more," the party dude admitted.

"M-me neither," Katie added. "I just don't understand how we got so tired so quickly!"

"It's gotta be those-" Geoff began to say before the camera jumped outward, and a sharp note accompanied him slamming straight into a tree. Katie ran into him shortly after. "Juggy Chunks..." Geoff groaned in pain.

A yell rose up, and moments later Izzy slammed into the boys. "Tag," she said after the others groaned in pain. All three stumbled back away from the tree, and the shot cut in closer as they fell to the ground.

"Izzy...," Katie said weakly, giving her head a shake and smiling as the camera switched to a close-up. "Can we talk about tonight's vote?"

The shot cut back outward to show Izzy clutching her stomach and groaning in pain.

\

The shot cut to Chris watching the scene on his monitor. "Y'know," he said to Chef, "considering Izzy won the challenge, I'm surprised it took her so long to start acting wierd."

"The girl was weird enough already," Chef said. "Maybe it just took longer for us to notice," he added with a shrug.

\

"Urgh," Brick groaned, a hollow sound playing as the scene moved back to him clutching his stomach, "Food poisoning's not doing any favors..." He started walking to the right, looking around and clutching his stomach. "Courtney? Where are you?" he shouted into the dark forest. He stopped suddenly, and grinned. "Courtney!" he said excitedly, and the viewpoint shifted to his to show a rather blurry image of the prep off in the distance. Brick promptly ran towards it, the perspective changing back to his as he got closer and closer to his crush...who promptly melted away revealing a tree where she had been.

A metal clang resounded through the woods as a side shot showed Brick colliding with it. He stumbled back a few steps...and a strange panel of what looked like bark trembled, then dropped clear away. "What just happened...?" Brick mumbled as the camera zoomed in on the strange circuit board that was underneath, an airy and mysterious tune playing in the background.

"B," Brick turned and called out, "there's something...," he turned back and put a finger to his lips, his eyes looking up and down the strange portion of the 'tree'. "... you really need to see" he turned and finished.

A sharp note played as he stood straight up with a sudden jolt, a painful growl from his stomach quickly causing him to double over. "Oh no..." he began before his cheeks suddenly bulged, and he vomited onto the exposed circuitry causing it to spark and smoke. "Oh no, not again...," Brick finished, collapsing to his hands and knees. "Gotta find Courtney..."

Brick groaned in pain again, and rolled onto his other side. The music rose up ominously, the camera panning onto the sparking circuitry of the exposed 'tree', then outward and upward to show lightning flashing from the storm clouds that had been gathering, and rain beginning to fall...

\

The scene flashed to Dawn and B standing up out of the bush they'd hidden in, the music still tense and the rain now pouring. "I think it's time to find a better place to hide..." Dawn said, clutching her stomach in pain.

B pointed off to the left and clutched his own stomach.

"We must leave while we still can...," Dawn said, and the two started trudging off to the left.

\

Another flash took the scene back to Izzy, Katie, and Geoff. "So...you two want Courtney gone, huh?" Izzy asked weakly as she led the two through the rainy woods. "Fine with me, but don't you need four votes?"

"Whatever," Geoff grunted. "she's had it comin' for so long."

"An I think I can make it happen," Katie added. "But I'm not sure. And I think we should add Geoff in our alliance. If you want?" she added bashfully.

"Fine with me dudes," Geoff smiled.

"Me too," Izzy added.

"Awesome," Katie replied, giving them a weak but cheery smile.

The background music became low and tense as the camera slowly pulled back, eventually revealing Courtney listening in on them from behind a large tree. "No," she whispered angrily as the shot cut in close, "I've come too far to lose now."

\

"As morning grows closer," Chris said as the scene cut back to him and Chef watching the live feed, the long-banged intern holding an umbrella over him, "this challenge is getting _reeeeally_ entertaining. I wonder if there's a way to accidentally poison these kids before every challenge?" he asked aloud.

Chef shook his head and gave a light groan of disgust and disappointment.

"No?" Chris asked him. "Meh, you're probably right. It would lose its charm after awhile."

\

The scene flashed to Dawn and B sitting on rocks in the mouth of a cave. The sound of splashing water and tired groans caught their attention, and Dawn looked to the right. "Oh no," she said, standing up. "The others are coming!" The camera quick-panned to the right, showing Izzy, Geoff, and Katie trudging towards them through the rain. "We must leave!" Dawn told B as the shot cut back to them.

B groaned, tried to stand up, but immediately sat back down. He shook his head.

Dawn grabbed B by the arm. The camera pulled back as she tried to drag her much larger friend out of the cave.

The camera cut back to Izzy, Katie, and Geoff.

"Almost...got 'em..." Izzy said weakly, and the two boys grunted.

The camera panned back to Dawn and B, the music becoming tenser as Izzy, Geoff, and Katie arrived moments later, and Izzy groaned as she touched both teens. "There," she panted, "Just...Courtney and Brick left..."

\

A grand and dramatic song began to play as the scene flashed to a foot splashing in a puddle, the camera pulling back to show Courtney walking towards the right despite her sickness. "Okay," she panted, "Izzy's probably tagged just about everyone by now... So if they're all out here lookin' for me...then I...just need double back to camp where they won't expect me and I'll be golden."

"Courtney..," came a familiar voice that made her freeze in mid-step. She turned around, and the viewpoint became hers as it panned onto a silhouette with a wide, dark grin. Courtney yelped in surprise as the music spiked, and the camera jumped back out to show the figure take a step out of darkness – Brick.

"Oh! It's just you," Courtney said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Heheh, I didn't see you there," she explained with an awkward chuckle. "You scared me half to death you know," she added in irritation.

"Sorry," Brick said as bashfully as he could given his sickness. "I was looking for you all night. I just.. needed to know you were okay." A touching tune played as the two smiled at each other.

XXX

Courtney began her confessional with a groan. "Why'd he have to say something like _that_?!"

XXX

"Sorry...," Brick said in close-up, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," Courtney replied before pausing in sudden thought. "You weren't followed were you?"

He raised an eyebrow as the shot cut back to him. "I don't think so. Do you know you're going the wrong way?"

"No," Courtney said, putting her hands on her stomach. "I'm doubling back to-" she grunted in pain, and doubled over- "back to camp..." He just stared at her with concern, though it went unnoticed.

"Let me help," he said seriously. "You're in no shape to be moving."

Courtney gave him an withering glare, then gave her head a few shakes and briefly glanced back to the left. "I can take care of myself. I don't need you carrying me."

"If you say so," he replied, and the two walked off.

The camera pulled back a little ways as it followed the two through the forest. "I'm sorry for snapping at you," Courtney spoke up after a moment and pausing to groan, "I just don't like relying on others. I was taught to do everything yourself."

"It's okay," he replied in an almost, the shot cutting to show Courtney pick up a large broken branch.

"I'm just not used to the whole crush thing," she replied, the music rising ominously as the camera panned back over to show him raising the branch over his head like a club and grinning darkly, "sorry again..."

A flash of lightning took over the scene, and in the dark Brick cried out in pain as wood splintered. The scene returned to an overhead shot of him falling into the mud unconscious, the broken branch dropped next to him. Then the camera rotated up to show Courtney dragging him out of the open.

XXX

"I know he was only looking for me so he could sacrifice himself if I got caught," the prep explained to the outhouse. "I don't want him throwing away the game for me, so that's why I knocked him out. Hopefully the others won't find him because they'll be too busy looking for me."

XXX

The static cut to Courtney running through the woods...until her stomach grumbled painfully, causing her to stumble, trip over a rock, and fall face-first into the mud. "Crap... not like this..." she groaned as she began to crawl through the mud

Moments later Izzy and the other poisoned campers arrived, and looked with surprise upon her fallen form.

"I can't believe she's still going," Katie mused.

"Me either," Izzy replied, groaning as she kicked the girl lightly in the leg. "Tag."

Courtney groaned, and the shot cut in closer as she pushed herself up onto her arms. "No..."

"Where's Brick," Izzy asked.

"Not... telling," Courtney groaned as she tried to stand up. "You're too late anyway. It's almost..."

Chris stuck his hand in front of the camera and blew his airhorn.

"Dawn...," Courtney finished, smiling as the others groaned.

"Game over!" Chris announced as a light but victorious tune played, stepping into view with a smile on his face. "Brick has _also_ gained immunity! Now, everyone back to the meeting area," he told the campers, the shot refocusing on them as he walked away. "We need to pump your stomachs..."

The campers groaned again, and the camera quick-panned over to show Brick blearily waking up and rubbing his head. "Courtney? What happened?"

\

The usual elimination theme began to play as the scene moved ahead a little while, the rain long gone and the sun just peaking above the horizon. "Izzy and Brick won their immunity," Chris said before the shot cut to the firepit, all seven campers waiting on the seats. "And, after the voting, B, Dawn, and Katie are safe," Chris continued, the three in question catching the marshmallows tossed their way. "That leaves Geoff and Courtney," he said, the shot briefly cutting to him and Chef before returning to the campers.

Both Geoff and Courtney snorted from the left end of seats. "I'm not surprised," Courtney said, turning a glare toward Geoff. " _Somebody_ has been out to get me since day one."

"Yeah, 'cause you've been on _everyone's_ case since day one," Geoff retorted from the right end of the front row, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Because no one was focusing on winning!" Courtney yelled in exasperation.

"Maybe because some people care more about their friends than winning some stupid challenge!" Geoff shot back.

"If I may take the attention back. It was close," Chris said, the elimination music reaching its tensest part as he held up the marshmallow and the shot cut to Geoff and Courtney watching nervously, the latter even crossing her fingers. "But tonight's loser is.. _Courtney_!"

"Yes!" Geoff cheered, catching the final marshmallow.

"WHAT?!" Courtney roared in shock, Dawn and B gaping as well.

XXX

"Katie told me everything," Brick confessed. "Courtney knocked me out and left me there so she'd win. I'd probably be going home if it wasn't for Katie dragging me out of the way."

He sighed and slumped over. "But still, I feel like a rotten person. I should have never voted for her!"

XXX

"So I told a _teeny_ lie to make sure Brick would vote with us," Katie admitted sheepishly. "But I gotta say, if getting rid of people is this fun I can _totally_ see why Justin did it."

She smirked. "Maybe me winning isn't such a far fetched idea after all."

XXX

The static cut to the Cannon of Shame, the somber farewell theme starting up in the background.

"I guess I deserve this," Courtney said from the mouth of the cannon.

"Yeah," Geoff called out, standing high on the edge of the elimination area with the rest of the remaining campers. The shot cut in close to Brick as sagged regretfully.

Courtney sighed as the focus returned to her. "Y'know, you treated me like crap ever since Dave was eliminated. You think I don't feel guilty, that I expected everyone to give me a pat on the back. I _knew_ what I did was wrong. I didn't need you telling me every chance you got.," she told the others, the shot cutting back to those standing at the cliff's edge.

"Aaaand," Chris said as the focus moved to him and his remote, "that's enough of that." He pressed the button, and Courtney was shot screaming into the night.

The camera panned back onto Chris as he watched her go, then turned to face the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "Well, Courtney's gone," he said, "and it might seem wrong, but it-" the camera abruptly cut to the fake tree with the exposed circuitry that Brick had vomited on during the challenge; it was still sparking, and the host paused as the background music started to warp, and the circuitry burst into flames. "...is?" he finished as snow began to fall.

A cold, snowy wind blew past him as the shot cut back to Chris, and the background music continued to warp and distort. "Who's next, to-" Chris tired to continue, pausing when a rock, a stump, and a bush nearby suddenly lowered into the ground and were replaced by a small shrub, a tall pine tree, and a greener bush. "To...to...," he watched in utter bewilderment as the snow stopped and a small tornado passed by in the background, "cannon?" he said with a wide smile and an almost helpless shrug. Several small rocks suddenly jutted out of the ground around his feet.

"Um, yeah," he said quickly. "Here, on Total!" The camera jumped backward to show him standing by the Cannon of Shame. "Drama!" The shot jumped outward again to show more of the island...including the offshore rocks which were now jerking up and down on pistons, one of the high curved hills being suddenly replaced by a tall craggy mountain, and a few large spires of what looked like ice abruptly jutting out from the sides of the island at odd angles. "Paaaahki..." Another jump-cut showed the entire island, numerous mountains and spires and other rock formation popping up and disappearing at random, the music now so loud and distorted that it was completely unrecognizable.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" Chris yelled.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And Courtney has been eliminated. Now the first draft of this season had her make it to third place as the central antagonist. And with none of those redeeming qualities I tried so hard to add in. It made for a pretty flat character overall. Two things changed my mind.

Fisrt, there's Katie. I didn't really have a plan for her past making it farther than Sadie. So when I started to refine things in the planning stages, I thought about possible plots for her. There was her slowly learning to cope with being without Sadie. And that's been done to death in my opinion. Or the route I actually took, making her the season's third and final antagonist. After getting rid of Courtney, she discovered that evil feels good and is sticking with it. That being said, I'm going to postpone the conclusion of Gatie to another season. I still would like to do it, but it's falling through the cracks of more important storylines.

Anyway, the second thing that caused me to move up Courtney's elimination was Brick. In the original plans, there was no romance between the two and Brick had basically no plot whatsoever. Now he has the guilt over voting off his love interest.

Now we're down to the Final Six, and let me tell you, things are only gonna get more interesting from here, especially considering next week.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin

 **7th Place:** Courtney


	10. Blast From the Past

**Author's Note:** We're ready for the most anticipated episode of the season. I hope I live up to your expectations

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Nicky Haugh:**_ Thanks!

 _ **Guest:**_ Well, I think Brick would want to win for his own sake. I don't think anyone would look at this cast and call Katie being a villain. Actually, knocking Brick out was in character for Courtney. She made a calculated risk that backfired on her. And Charlotte _is_ B's girlfriend back home.

 _ **PurpleShadowManipulator:**_ I'm glad you like Katie as the antagonist, it's nice to see my risks being well-received.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Well, I like to start the merge with a shocking elimination, to really sell that anyone could go home. Glad you like the mythology gags. I can't talk about when the double elimination is though. I'm not going to destroy all of Courtney's progress just for her to be an unsympathetic boot. I've seen how poorly that can go over. To be fair, B's cool with pretty much everybody. It's a fair assumption that he just voted for the first person that came to mind.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ She took a calculated risk, it just didn't pan out. Well Katie wouldn't be a good villain if she didn't do anything villainous. Sugar totally was the one who recomended the Juggy Chunks. I personally think this episode won't disappoint. I hope the second Lego movie was better than the first, I couldn't actually sit through the first one.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Well, Dawn making it this far was kind of a no brainier. Those are some pretty good predictions though.

 _ **Jubilee Jigsaw:**_ Courtney would've gone further, but I need things to turn out the way they did.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ Sorry to boot a character you like so soon. Such a misunderstanding does have a bit of potential does it not? Katie was meant to be a surprise, but hopefully a good one. I'm surprised to hear that Izzy's your favorite. I mean, I'm glad, but it's not what I normally hear.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ In hindsight, Courtney could've made it further, but I'd have to change some other things that I really didn't want to. And no way was I cutting the Juggy Chunks, too vital and funny.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Well I have ideas about Villain!Katie, but as always the readers are better judges than me.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ B, Brick, Geoff

 _ **Girls:**_ Dawn, Izzy, Katie

You already know what's about to go down...

* * *

 **Episode 10: Blast From the Past**

"Last episode of Total Drama went down niiiice and eeeasy, one Juggy Chunk at a time," Chris opened, the recap montage beginning immediately with a clip of B shuddering in disgust as he tried to drink a glass of expired Juggy Chunks, followed by Izzy happily taking a swig and the camera panning to Katie as she watched uneasily, then pinched her nose and began to chug.

"Then it was time-" the montage moved to Dawn and B looking pale and sickly as they walked through the woods- "for a stomach-turning game of Hurl and Go Seek," Chris finished over clips of Courtney holding her stomach as it growled painfully, followed by Geoff and Katie running into a tree and Izzy tagging them shortly after, all three looking sickly and weak.

"And thanks to a little bit of treachery from Katie," the girl was shown talking to Geoff and Izzy about the vote, "that involved lying to Brick," the prep cringed as she raised a broken branch over an unsuspecting Brick's head, "Courtney was eliminated." The montage ended with Courtney denouncing her former team before being blasted into the night.

"Aaaand...that's...about it," Chris added with forced nonchalance, the music suddenly warping as the scene moved to a long-distance shot of the island as various formations and features jolted up and down or were replaced by other things entirely. "Absolutely nothing strange happened!" he added as the camera moved to another part of the island as one of the tall cresting hills suddenly shot into the ground, getting replaced by a more jagged peak. A pine tree was replaced by something deciduous, then storm clouds abruptly formed and thunder cracked. "Just like nothing's happening now!" Chris said defiantly, the music now unrecognizably distorted as the ground began to shake, and a strong and snowy wind blew across the land – carrying a chittering raccoon with it.

"Nope! Nothing to see here!" Chris said with panic in his voice, stepping directly in front of the camera with a worried expression and grabbing the side of it. "Uh, just a regular day," he said, moving the shot a step to the right as snow continued to blow in the background. "Get ready for-" A strong gust of wind suddenly blew him away from the camera, which quickly cut to show him rolling along the ground end-over-end, hitting a tall stump butt-first with his back on the ground. "Total!" he raised a finger and declared in a slightly higher voice. "Drama!" the shot cut outward to show the entire island, the land once more shifting and changing as hills rose and fell, ice spires shot out at odd angles, and the lightning cracked overhead.

The music made a pathetic attempt at resuming its usual course, but only made it a second before distorting again. The camera jumped backward, and Chris hastily finished "Paaaahki-"

XXX

The scene cut to static, which was soon replaced by a static image and calming standby music. The image was largely cream and black, a grid in the background with a large film reel in each of the four corners. And in the center was a color image of Chef Hatchet, a look of alarm on his face as he gazed upon the camera that was in the skillet he was holding over a stove...

 **XXXXX**

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

The scene opened on a long-distance shot of the stormy island, lightning cracking and the ground shaking. The shot cut to the Final Six gathered next to Chris, the host still wedged on his back up against the tall stump.

"I-it's an earthquake!" Brick shouted in panic.

"No," Dawn corrected, shielding herself from the harsh wind as the camera cut in closer, "it's a typhoon!"

"No, it's a volcano!" Izzy said, standing between them. The camera cut behind them to show a mountain of black rock rising up before them and erupting...something light and pink.

"A...volcano of sprinkles?" Geoff asked, the shot cutting to him sticking out his hand in bewilderment to catch the multi-colored sprinkles that were raining down upon them. "This place is _wild_ man," he added, popping a the sprinkles in his mouth.

The shot cut to B and Katie glaring angrily at Chris, who was now standing and frantically pressing the button on his remote over and over. "Umm, hello?" Katie asked bossily. "Are you gonna explain this or not?"

"No idea what you're...talking...about...," Chris said, blatantly feigning ignorance as he shook his remote. "Just, uh," he started punching the remote, causing it to spark, "need a minute...here..."

"You're hiding something," Dawn said suddenly, causing Chris to yelp and turn around to face her.

"Whatever do you mean?" Chris replied calmly, the shot cutting outward then panning a foot to the right as holes opened up around the stump he'd crashed into, as well as two others and a tree nearby, and they suddenly dropped down into the ground with the holes closing up after them. "You don't have vanishing trees where you come from?"

"No," Dawn said, her tone sombre and her hands behind her back.

The cast looked to the side again as the holes opened back up...and glittering and well-decorated Christmas trees rose up out of each one of them. A grand carol began to play, but it quickly warped and faded out. "What about Christmas?" Chris asked the group with a smile.

They all glared at him.

Chris sighed. "Fine," he said in annoyance. "The island is mostly artificial." Seven of the campers all gasped. "Yes! Gasp!" Chris replied, still irritated. "And we're having some technical difficulties, okay? It's nothing to worry about!" he declared, crossing his arms defiantly.

A hole suddenly opened up in the ground between him and Katie, and everyone was forced to take a step away as a monitor suddenly rose up out of it – displaying a red skull-and-crossbones against a darker background, and with a blaring siren and a pair of loudspeakers mounted on top. "Self-destruct sequence activated," an artificial female voice announced calmly. "Island will explode in one hour," it added, the shot cutting to a close-up of the monitor as it switched to a digital timer set at 1:00 and promptly counting down to 0:59.

The campers exclaimed their shock and disbelief all at once, their words getting jumbled together as they tried to talk over one another. Chris cut them off with a blast from his airhorn.

"Zip it!" he commanded, stowing his airhorn away immediately after. "For...your next challenge," he began awkwardly, taking out a tablet computer displaying an image of what looked like a room filled with monitors, "one of you has to shutdown the self-destruct! Which is located in this," the shot cut in close to the tablet, giving a better look at the room it was displaying, "underground control room. There are three ways to get there," he explained, the tablet's displaying changing to an image of the island with large red arrows pointing down to the left, right, and center. "So, you'll split into three teams of two," the display changed again to show what looked like schematics of the island's interior. "The team that stops the countdown, wins immunity."

The camera shifted behind him to show B, Brick, Izzy, and Geoff looking at the tablet. B's eyes widened, and he darted forward. He grabbed the tablet and smiled sheepishly at the host.

"Sure," Chris said in mild annoyance, letting him take it.

XXX

"B says that with him having the tablet, then he'll know where the fastest route to the control room is," Dawn explained.

XXX

"Sooo, if there's no questions..." Chris said slowly as the static ended. "Ready!" he raised a finger. "Set!" he looked at his watch.

"Of course we have questions," Dawn interrupted, walking over next to B who was tapping on the tablet's screen with a thoughtful look. "Why does an island have a self-destruct setting?"

"How should we proceed once we find the control room?" Brick added, stepping over as well.

"Why even bother lying about all the fake stuff in the first place?" Geoff chimed in, stepping forward as well.

"This, uh, this is just a challenge, right?" Katie asked nervously as she walked up next to Geoff. "We aren't actually gonna be risking our lives if we fail, right?"

"Silly Katie," Chris replied, walking over to the campers. "You've _always_ been risking your lives, just never so seriously," he told them. "But, don't worry," he said as he kept walking to the left, "I'll be right here to help you." The camera cut back out a bit to show the full cast again as a familiar roar began to rise up. "From a safe distance, in this helicopter!" he joyously explained with a point upward, dust getting blown up as the camera pulled back to reveal the two-rotated military helicopter hovering above them. It dropped a hooked anchor next to Chris, who grabbed its line.

"H-hold on now," Brick spoke up, his eyes wide with panic, "why don't we all just evacuate the island on the helicopter?"

"READY!" Chris called out over the roar of the helicopter, the shot cut to him being lifted up on its anchor. "SET!" he took out his airhorn. "GOOOOO!" He sounded the horn, and the campers gaped in shock.

XXX

"This is insane," Brick confessed in a panic, "I'm freaking out a little bit! I _really_ wish I hadn't voted off Courtney," he admitted pitifully before turning serious again, "but I have to focus! I'm large and in charge, and Courtney only threw me off my game. But still, I know she'd help me pull it together if she were here" He gave the camera a pathetic look, and finished with "I'm really losing it right now..."

XXX

"T-minus 55 minutes and counting," the computerized voice said as the scene returned to the digital timer, the campers still gathered around it – Katie, Geoff, Brick, and Izzy to the left; Dawn and B to the right.

"Alright troops," Brick barked as the shpt briefly cut to his close up, "pick your squadron and move out!" As he spoke the camera zoomed back out, Katie and Geoff running off to the left while B grabbed Dawn by the wrist and together they ran off to the right. Once they were gone, Brick looked around and sighed.

"Alright!" Izzy said happily while throwing an arm around the cadet's waist. "The two soldiers taking home the gold!"

Brick turned his eyes to his teammate, then sighed again.

\

A tense challenge theme began playing as the scene flashed to a close-up of Katie and Geoff's feet running along the ground, the shot quickly moving to them running through the woods together.

"You sure you can handle this, dude?" Geoff asked as the pair ran up a series of progressively taller rocks that suddenly rose up under them. "This is pretty intense!"

The two jumped off the tallest one, landing easily on the ground. "Don't worry," Katie replied as they began running again. "I'm on the track team back home!"

Geoff smiled. "Good to hear it. I think we're almost there. Whoa!" He gasped in surprised as they hit a frozen pond and began to slip; Katie quickly grabbed him, and forced him down as they passed under a jet of fire together.

"Totally," Katie said, running away with Geoff before another jet of fire shot out behind them. "You know," she said as they reached the edge of a cliff, grabbed a hanging vine, and swung onward to the left, "we work pretty well together!" Her sentence was punctuated by their landing in front of the camera, which promptly pulled back to show the shore of a lake.

"Whoa," Geoff said, the camera moving behind them. "Looks like we gotta take a swim," he told Katie with a small smirk.

"Looks like it," she replied, a touching tune played as the two smile at each other.

XXX

"Whoa," the party dude confessed. "It's like, my eyes knew that Katie was hot, but now it's like my _heart_ knows it too."

He slumped a bit. "I'm not good with words."

XXX

"I think that was a real moment," Katie confessed. "But I've never been good at reading other people."

XXX

The challenge music resumed as the scene moved underwater, Geoff and Katie plunging in and swimming downward leaving bubbles trailing in their wake. They paused and righted themselves to look around, and Katie promptly pointed something out. The camera moved behind them to show a pipe jutting out of the lakebed with a domed hatch on it; the shot promptly cut to the wheel-handle as both teens grabbed on and tried to turn it.

After a few failed tries Katie looked up in shock and pointed to the right, and the camera panned over to show the shark swimming towards them with an angry growl. Geoff smirked, the shark opened its mouth, and then the party dude punched it in the nose. It was blown back with a yelp, and Geoff put his hands on his hips, gave Katie a cocky smirk, and winked at her.

A growling caught their attention, though, and the camera pulled back to show the shark still there, rubbing its nose angrily. It snarled at them and bared its teeth, causing both teens to cover their mouths before more than a few bubbles escaped.

XXX

"If anyone asks," Katie said seriously, "I did _not_ pee my pants down there. And even if I did, which I did _not_ , no one would've noticed."

XXX

The static cut away to show the two teens frantically trying to open the hatch as the shark loomed over them...and a cloud of something dark yellow slowly spread out behind them. The shark retched and coughed in disgust when the cloud reached it, and swam off just as the two opened the hatch and the cloud dissipated.

A light but tense theme played as the scene moved to a hallway lined with cables and various electronic devices, water pouring in from an open hatch in the top. Geoff and Katie dropped along with it, the camera panning down to show them landing in a heap on the wet floor, the water flow soon stopping.

\

The challenge music resumed as a flash took the focus to Brick and Izzy, running to the right through a different stretch of woods. The camera moved ahead of them as a pair of holes suddenly opened up on either side of their path and spruce shot out of them at odd angles. Izzy gasped and slid under where the trunks crossed, and moments later Brick came bursting out of the branches above, landing on the ground between Izzy and the camera.

"Whoa, that was awesome!" Izzy said as the shot moved back to its usual side-angle. "How are you still so calm? I thought with the dark and the danger-"

"Please," Brick replied with a smirk, Izzy right behind her. "I'm large and in charge! Just stick behind me and we'll win this challenge."

XXX

"In cadets they tell you that your fears just melt away when in a life-or-death situation," Brick told the outhouse.

XXX

Izzy looked away, then perked up. "Hey, I think I see the way in!" she said, pointing off to the left.

The shot cut to a hole in the ground, Brick and Izzy running up to it moments later. "Okay, let's-" Brick began, taking a step to the hole before the ground shook and Izzy pulled him back. A tree shot out of the ground moments later. "-find another way in," Brick finished.

Another hole opened up to the left. The two shared, a wary look, then the shot cut in close to show Izzy jumping in, and Brick following moments later.

\

The scene flashed to B and Dawn walking through the woods, the former looking from the tablet he'd gotten from Chris to the path in front of him.

"Huh?" Dawn said distractedly, looking up. "Are we almost there?"

B stopped and turned around to face her, then cocked his head to the side.

"I didn't want to tell you," Dawn said seriously. "But I feel the dark presence again. And it's stronger than before. Almost as if it were following us," a flash of something darted through the woods behind them, but it went unnoticed.

B clapped his hand around his friend's shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile.

"You're right," Dawn replied with a not very genuine smile as they continued walking into a clearing full of rocks.

They stopped after a few seconds in front of a particularly large rock, and B held up his tablet. He twisted it around and tapped the screen, lowered the tablet and pointed at the rock.

"Okay then," Dawn said as she walked over. She crouched down and peered at the rock...only to fall backward with a gasp as it suddenly swung upward.

The shot cut outward as Dawn and B stared at the opening under it for a few moments, then B blinked and shrugged before hopping down the hole without a second thought with Dawn following behind moments later

The camera lingered on on the opening, and the music rose up ominously as a pair of familiar shoes entered the frame. A dark chuckle reverberated around the air as the figure jumped down the hole.

\

The scene flashed back to Geoff and Katie, now running through the well-lit hallway, skidding to a stop when they came upon a monitor showing a live feed of Chris. "Guys! Glad I caught you," he greeted. "I have good news!"

"We're gonna live?" Katie asked hopefully, the camera moving around in front of her and Geoff.

"No," Chris said shortly as the shot moved behind the teens, "I said _good_ news. I can download the footage from all the cameras to the helicopter! So, even after the island blows up, I can still cut together an episode."

Geoff and Katie scowled as the shot moved back in front of them. "Thanks a lot, man," Geoff said. "We're risking our lives," he threw his hands up in the air, "and you're just enjoying the show!"

"Hey, you think _you_ got it hard?" Chris shot back testily, the camera cutting to where he was sitting – in a high-backed chair at a nice desk in what would have been a rather high-class office were it not located in a military helicopter – The cappuccino maker on this thing is _terrible_ ," he griped, taking a sip of the cup in his hand. "Oh, and try to avoid the motion sensors," he added, offhandedly at first but soon smiling his usual smile. "They set off _crazy_ security all over the island." As he spoke the scene returned to Geoff and Katie watching the monitor, and once he was finished the monitor lifted up into the ceiling, revealing a field of security lasers switching on in the corridor beyond it.

"Aww, come _on_ ," Geoff said with a stomp of his foot, the viewpoint shifting to show the lasers switching on and off around him and Katie.

Katie took a deep breath, smiled, and put a hand on Geoff's shoulder. "I think I can do this," she said. "Sadie and me plan on using the prize money to become professional dancers."

"Don't see how that'd help..." Geoff said apologetically.

"Dancers have to be nimble," Katie said with a cocky smirk. "Just follow my lead, and take it nice and slow."

Katie promptly dropped out of sight, and Geoff smiled. "Lead the way,' he said before dropping down as well.

XXX

"Man this girl is something else," the party dude confessed.

XXX

A fast spy-movie theme began to play as the static cut away and the two began to literally dance their way through the field of lasers. While Geoff nearly lost his balance several times, Katie managed to go the whole way rather gracefully and with no mistakes much to Geoff's surprise.

XXX

"Man she's got some sweet moves," Geoff said. "Maybe I should ask her out after this whole 'we might die' thing."

XXX

The static cut away to show Kaite sticking the landing of a grand j'ete, Geoff stumbling alongside her moments later. "This is awesome Katie," the party dude praised as the pair danced forward as the lasers shifted again.

"You really think so?" Katie asked, looking back with a bashful expression.

"W-well, yeah, I mean..." Geoff stammered, a light blush on his cheeks.

"Uh, guys, is now the time for this?" came the voice of Chris, the camera panning over to show him watching through another monitor. "Less talking, more action!"

"You're like my bud Chad's really hot sister!" Geoff told Katie, both teens ignoring the host.

"Excuse me!" Katie yelled in offense...just before the lasers struck both her and Geoff at several points, causing an alarm to go off in the distance that caused both teens to shut up.

XXX

"Looking back, I think that was supposed to be a compliment," Katie explained calmly. "But I couldn't really tell that at the time."

XXX

"Uh-oh," Geoff said, the camera pulling back as the lasers shut off but the alarm continued.

"Intruders detected," announced the computerized voice from earlier. "Releasing robotic security units." The floor to the left of the two slid open, and the camera moved behind them as several figures rose up – a bear, a crocodile, a doer deer, and a fawn, except all four had glowing red eyes and bits of missing skin that revealed the sparking robotic bodies beneath. Geoff and Katie screamed and clutched each other.

XXX

"What with the killer robot animals," Katie continued from her previous confessional.

XXX

Chris audibly cringed as the footage resumed, the camera taking up a position between the robots and the boys, on the wall opposite Chris' monitor. "Well, that was the shortest season _ev-er_ ," he said in annoyance as the music became deep and tense. "Good luck guys, I'm out!" The monitor turned off.

"Is this weird or scary?" Geoff asked, the camera switching from the growling robots to him and Katie.

"Both," Katie replied as the tense music ramped back up, her wide-eyed gaze still locked on the robotic animals. "RUN!"

The camera jumped back to show them running and screaming down the hall with the snarling robot animals chasing right after them.

They soon gasped, and the camera shifted to show a heavy metal door lowering down ahead of them. The shot cut to them barely sliding under it, the robotic crocodile lunging after them but getting stuck immediately with the door trying to close on its neck.

Katie let out a breath of relief as she and Geoff stood up, but the party dude shook his head. "We're not outta the woods yet," he said, grabbing his partner's arm and pointing at the ground. The shot returned to the trapped crocodile as the door forcibly crushed its neck, which only freed the sparking head allowing it to scoot forward, snapping its jaws.

"Whoa...," Katie said in shock as the two began to back away from it.

\

The scene flashed away with a dramatic musical flair, moving to Brick and Izzy sitting against a wall next to an open door and panting heavily.

"What was that thing?!" Brick asked.

"I still say we could've taken it," Izzy said nonchalantly.

Brick's reply was interrupted by a monitor descending from the ceiling above them and to the left, which promptly turned on to show Chris looking. "Oh, there you two are," he said after finally spotting them. "I was wondering if you were dead yet, but it looks like you aren't."

"The day's still young," Izzy said playfully.

Chris took a sip of his cappuccino. "So," he said, setting the cup down, "how are you guys holding out?"

"Not very well!" Brick told him sharply. "One minute we're running down the hall with no problem, the next minute this _thing_ comes out and nearly kills us!"

"Oh, yeah, fyi, Geoff and Katie managed to set off security after some botched flirting," Chris said. "Now the island's crawling with killer robot animals!"

"Did you just say 'killer robot animals'?!" Brick said in shock .

"Yeah, we had _real_ animals," Chris explained, "but the animal rights people were all 'Blah blah blah blah'," he said with a dismissive tone and gesture, "so, we switched to robot animals! Some were _craaazy_ violent though, so, we caged them down here."

"That makes sense," Izzy shrugged.

"It does?!" Brick asked incredulously.

"Anyway," Chris shrugged, "it'd probably be _way_ safer to go find another path from where you came in."

"But that place was filled with trees and rocks and giant gears moving things around," Brick said uncomfortably.

Chris shrugged again. "Then hey, stay here."

As they spoke the camera moved to the dark doorway as a pair of round eyes appeared near the floor, and the music spiked dramatically as a small and innocent-looking orange tabby cat kitten jumped out into the open.

Brick and Izzy gasped. "Oh no, it's back," Brick moaned, the shot cutting to the kitten as its eyes glowed red and it opened its mouth up impossibly wide. Electricity shot from the walls of its mouth to the center, coalescing into a ball of crackling energy that became a massive jet of flame that was shot at the two. They quickly ducked, causing the monitor to be engulfed in flame as the music spiked dramatically once more. The device crumbled into charred pieces.

"RUN!" Brick yelled, turning and running away with Izzy just before another blast of fire hit them.

XXX

"Killer robot kittens?!" Brick asked the outhouse. "Is nothing sacred?!"

XXX

The static cut away to show Chris in his helicopter office, smiling at the camera with his cappuccino in hand. "Stay tuned to find out if anyone is _still_ alive when they get blown up," he said smugly as the capstone theme played. "Here on Total! Drama! Paaahkitew Island!" The shot jumped outward repeatedly, showing the helicopter hovering over the messed-up island.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The music trilled loud and tense as the episode resumed, the focus on a large pipe opening out of the ceiling as Dawn and B fell from it with a scream from the former. The tube retracted into the ceiling as the camera cut outward, revealing the two lying in a heap in a corner of a decently-sized room. The walls seemed to be made entirely of machines; a large vault door was located on the left wall with a glowing keypad on the front of it, and a monitor and some kind of futuristic keyboard were mounted on the back.

"Ow..," Dawn groaned, rubbing her head as B stood up and looked around.

B pulled the tablet from his coat, looked at the screen, then looked around the room.

The monitor suddenly switched on to show Chris' smiling face. "Dawn! Beverly! Congrats on being the _first_ to the control room-" the camera cut in closer as Dawn walked across the room- "and subsequently, not dying."

The camera cut to Dawn looking at the keypad on the door while B inspected the bolt across the top. "What's the password for the door?" she asked.

"I keep it safely locked away at all times," Chris explained with a smile as the camera pulled back to show the monitor again. "In the control room." Dawn groaned and B rolled his eyes in aggravation. "Just start hitting random numbers, it couldn't hurt," Chris suggested. "Oh, except for the electric shocks that thing dishes out every time you get it wrong," he clarified, the camera cutting in closer. "Those'll hurt."

A phone started ringing just then, and Chris quickly took out his cellphone. "Oops, gotta take this," he said, clutching the phone to the side as it continued to ring. "It's the network. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, I hope you had a nice life." The monitor switched off.

B grabbed a screwdriver out of his coat and began to work on removing the keypad from the wall.

"I guess there's nothing for me to do right now," Dawn said as she sat down in lotus position.

\

The scene flashed to a darkened corridor, the familiar feet slowly making their way across the camera...

\

The camera cut back to a head on shot of B with a look of intense concentration fiddling with a pair of pliers and a mass of multi-colored wires.

The view returned to normal as Dawn opened her eyes with a gasp. "B! Watch out!" the scene changed to the view point of something or someone directly behind her. "The dark presence! It's-"

She never finished her warning, as the screen went black for a second and she let out a grunt of pain. The scene cut to the ground as the now unconscious moonchild landed on it. B smiled as the door opened, but he too was knocked out by the unknown presence.

The scene quickly moved inside the room, the familiar feet stopping just at the entryway. The music turned dark and ominous as the camera panned up to reveal a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, an ironic t-shirt, and finally the one-eyed visage of former Total Drama competitor Matthew.

The view returned to normal, showing the hipster approaching a massive computer station. He paused in the middle of the room and flashed a disturbing smirk.

The camera cut to the computer as he walked over to it. "Now let's see...," he said, tapping his chin in thought as he looked over the keyboard. "Ah!" he smiled, raising a finger above a certain key. "This should get rid of those two at the door," he said in a psychotic voice, pressing the button and looking back with a darkly expectant look on his face.

A quick-pan back to B showed him slowly getting up and rubbing his head; He looked around blearily, and his eyes widened in shock as a panel opened up in the floor, and a certain bear wearing various accessories rose up in front of him. He out his hands up in a placating manner, and slowly backed away.

The bear ripped its accessories and fur and skin off in one fell move, revealing the robotic body beneath it. It rose its arms and let loose a mechanical roar, causing B flee the room corridor, stopping only long enough pick up Dawn and carry her with him bridal style. The shot followed them and the Bear back out into the hall, the door to the control room slamming shut behind them...

The scene moved back inside the control room, showing Matthew taking a seat in the chair in front of the computer as the massive monitor switched on to show a feed of Chris. "Matthew?!" he greeted in shock. "Oh well, looks like nobody won the challenge. Anyway as long as you're here, y'mind disarm the self-destruct sequence?" he asked, pointing down at the keyboard.

Matthew just glared. "Make it worth my while."

"Your _life_ isn't enough?!" Chris asked in shock.

"It's more than enough," Matthew answered calmly with a thumb to the side. "Which is why if you refuse my demands I'll just use the escape pod and let this island explode."

"What demands?" Chris asked.

Matthew snarled. "You give me this season's million dollars, _and_ declare me the official winner of World Tour _and_ All-Stars," he explained, clenching his hand into a fist and slamming it down on the control panel. " _I_ should have won those seasons, and I would have had _you_ not cheated me out of them!"

"And why would I kowtow to a sad little man who can't handle the fact that he lost?" Chris asked mockingly.

"I was hoping you'd ask that," Matthew said as he flashed an evil smirk that seemed to shock Chris, then pressed a button on the keyboard.

A hollow sound played as the scene cut outside to a nondescript part of the forest...and a few of the pine trees in the foreground suddenly lifted off like rockets. The camera followed them as they flew through the air, shooting at the helicopter which had to keep ducking and swerving to narrowly avoid getting hit. And all the while, Chris' cries of pain echoed forth from it.

The scene cut back to the control room, Chris standing back up on the monitor's feed with his hand on his head. "Hey! Have some respect for nature!" he yelled.

Matthew tutted and shook his head. "Give me the money, or the idiots on your new show _die_. Good luck doing anything with that on your hands."

"I don't think so," Chris countered defiantly. "Cause those 'idiots' are still in a competition for a million bucks and _you're_ currently in their way."

Matthew chuckled, low and slow. "No, they're in _mine_ ," he said, pressing a button that turned off the monitor.

\

"CHEEEEEEFFF!" Chris yelled as the scene flashed to a close-up of the curtained door to a cockpit, the host soon arriving through it with his cappuccino cup held high. "WE'VE GOT AN EMERGENCY!" The shot cut backward to show Chef at the controls in his pilot's uniform, looking at Chris. "The foamy thing on the coffee machine won't work at all, now!" he exclaimed, taking a long sip of coffee.

"Also, Matthew's back and is gonna blow up the island," he added in a much calmer voice. "We gotta warn the others." He took another long sip of coffee. "As soon as the foamy thing is working properly again."

\

A flash took the scene to Katie and Geoff running to the left through another hallway, skidding to a stop as a growing scream got their attention. The end of a large pipe suddenly shot down from the ceiling in front of them, and moments later Izzy and Brick fell out of it.

"Whoa," Katie said in shock.

"What're you two doin' here?" Geoff asked, kneeling down to help the two up.

"It's a loooong story," Izzy said, "But you guys gotta hear it. Okay, so first-"

"Ten minutes to self-destruct," the computerized voice announced suddenly.

"Eh, I'll just give you the short version," the wildcard finished, not at all bothered by the announcement.

A few deep notes played as the other three campers shared shocked grimaces. Katie opened her mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by the appearance of a monitor, lowering down from the ceiling. Rather than a video feed, however, it displayed only an audio signal as a green-toned graph.

The person on the other end cleared their throat, then Matthew's voice said "Oh hey, there you guys are!" in a slightly awkward tone. "I'm one of the interns here. Anyway I have some bad news. I'm in the control room, but there's no way to turn off the self-destruct! Chris must've been lying to you guys."

"Figures...," Katie grunted as the shot moved to the campers.

"Typical," Geoff added.

"Apparently you can only shut it down from _here_ ," Matthew added, the monitor switching to a floor plan of the facility with a red arrow lead from a flashing dot, through the halls, to another room.

"Hmm, just down the hall,' Brick said, leaning in and checking the display. "Great job!"

He moved to run off with the others only for Izzy to grab him by the shoulder and pull him back, staring suspiciously at the monitor all the while. "That voice sounds familiar..." she said to the confusion of the others. "Matthew!" she declared suddenly. "You were that guy that blew up Chris's house last season."

Matthew grunted in annoyance, and the monitor switched to a video feed of him in the control room. "Fine, you got me," he admitted. "Not like it even matters. Not with the clock ticking anyway," he added as the monitor switched to the self-destruct timer, now approaching 8 minutes. "Better go down that hall I told you about!"

"Uh, no," Izzy objected, "I bought a _lot_ of stuff on late night infomercials. But I ain't buyin' that."

"Can you really afford to take that chance right now?" Matthew asked as the monitor switched back to the video feed. "Besides, why would I want the island to blow up when I'm _on_ the island?"

"Look, all that matters is that somebody stops the self-destruct," Brick pointed out as the focus moved to the campers. "And Matthew has a point."

\

The footage flashed ahead to another room, a door sliding up on the right and Geoff, Katie, Izzy, and Brick running in.

They immediately stopped and gasped.

A deep, tense tune took over the background music as the viewpoint shifted to that of the campers, the camera panning across countless robotic duplicates of Chris McLean attached to the ceiling by strange devices with lots of wires and cables and tubes extending from a central part with a pale blue light on the front.

"Well, this is a room full of nightmares," Katie remarked.

"I wouldn't worry," Matthew said over the intercom. "You won't live long enough to _have_ nightmares!" he added as a slow taunt that ended with a maniacal laugh as the door slammed shut behind the campers. The shot cut back to the robots as the tense, dramatic music rose up, and their eyes started to glow red...then, one by one, the devices holding them up released, and they dropped to the floor.

"Well, this isn't good," Izzy said as the robotic Chrises stepped around her and the others, forcing the them to stand close together back-to-back. "Any last words before we go out fighting?" she asked with a slight smirk.

"Don't joke about that," Geoff said nervously, only briefly taking his eyes off the robot army.

"I think she's serious," Katie said before looking at the camera. "Sadie, if I don't make it outta this, I lied to you about why I broke up with Russel. He called you a fat cow and I never told you because I know those comments bother you more than you let on," she finished with a pitiful look.

XXX

"I should've told Geoff that I like him," the hot-blooded girl admitted. "But I wanted my last words to be to my best friend."

XXX

"Total! Drama! Drama! Ha-ha-ha!" the robot chanted in a stilted chorus as another wave of them approached the campers.

The shot cut back to the girls, Izzy raising her fists while Katie huddled nervously next to her. "Um...um...," Brick stammered, "Mom, Dad, Melanie, I love you all and I hope you can move on without me." The robots lunged, Geoff punching one away while Katie yelped and vaulted up into a handstand on another's shoulders. She allowed herself to fall forward, bringing the Chris-bot to the ground with her.

A flat note played as the shot cut out to show Geoff ducking under the swing of a robot and punching it in the stomach. "Brody," he said, grabbing one robot in a headlock while smashing another face-first into it, causing both of their heads to break. "Dude, do _not_ blame yourself for this if things go bad. This wasn't your fault."

"Mom, I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused in the last few years," Izzy admitted as she ducked between two Chris-bots causing them to slam into each other. The scene zoomed in on her face as she narrowed her eyes.

"And I'm gonna live long enough to show it!" Izzy roared defiantly, heavy metal music taking over the audio as she grabbed the nearest Chris-bot, picked it up, and threw it at three more. Another one approached her and she punched its face in, then a third one came up from behind and grabbed her around the neck.

She bit clean through its arm.

The shot cut to Katie, Geoff, and Brick watching in utter shock as the sounds of battle and the occasional bit of robot came flying through the air.

XXX

"I'm a little ashamed at how nice it felt seeing Chris get destroyed repeatedly," Brick admitted.

XXX

"Yeah, I used to be in the reserves," IZzy said proudly, rubbing her knuckles on her clothes then blowing on them proudly. "Never expected the hand-to-hand combat lessons to come in handy this way though."

XXX

The static cut away to a severed Chris-bot head bouncing off the floor and landing with a thud. "Total! Total! Toootal...Toooootalll..." it said, its voice growing slower and deeper and its eyes losing their red glow with each repetition until it finally lay still and silent. The shot cut to Izzy standing among a pile of robot parts, breath heaving and oil splattered on her clothes. The others slowly approached her, Geoff even kicking a robot arm put of his way.

"Guys! You're not gonna believe this!" came the sudden voice of Chris, the camera pulling back as a monitor showing a video feed of the host descended from the ceiling. He spotted the pile of destroyed robots at the campers' feet. "Hey! What did you do to my promo-bots?" he asked in shock and outrage.

"Uh...promo-bots?" Katie repeated in confusion.

"How do you _think_ I did the promotion tours for the show?" Chris asked angrily. "You think I went to all those malls _myself_?"

"You sent violent robots to promote the show?" Brick asked in disbelief.

"Hey, they gotta defend themselves," Chris explained, growing angrier. "Do you have _any_ idea what the average Total Drama fan is like? DO YOU?!"

"Hey!" Katie shot back with anger of her own, even throwing her arms up. "If you'd actually done something helpful instead of sipping some stupid cappuccinos or whatever, this wouldn't have happened!"

"First off," Chris replied as the camera cut in closer to the monitor, "I'm on to smoothies now." He paused to take a sip of a smoothie in a greenish cup with a long straw. "Secondly, I don't like your tone," he continued. "And thirdly! _Thiiirdly_! Dang," he paused, his momentum abruptly lost, "I had something for this. It was a big one, too," he said, scratching his head with his straw as he tried to think. "Umm...uhh..."

Just then the shot cut to the door into the room as Dawn and B were thrown through it, the robot once known as Scuba/Bling/Pasta Bear charging in after. Dawn and B landed at Brick's feet with a thud and a groan from the former, and the camera panned up to show the others tensing up for another fight. Izzy picked up a severed robot leg and charged, the camera following her as she screamed, raised the leg like a club, and brought it down hard on the Bear's head.

Both head and leg were completely smashed, and Izzy just glared as the robot sparked, then fell over.

"Right, thirdly," Chris said as the camera panned back to follow Izzy walking back to the group, "one of our former competitors snuck onto the island and is gonna kill everybody if I don't give him the million. Side note; I am _not_ giving him the million."

"I _told_ you there was something evil on this island," Dawn spat as she stood up.

"No one likes a know-it-all Dawn," Chris told her tersely.

\

A flash took the scene to a close-up of a fist pounding against the control room door, the camera soon pulling back to reveal the pounder as Dawn. "Please don't do this!" she pleaded.

A tense note played as a monitor lowered nearby, showing Matthew's scowling face. "This is your fault," he said simply. "If you all had decided to do something _important_ with your lives instead of trying to become reality stars, you wouldn't be here and would have more than-" he looked up expectantly.

"Four minutes remaining, "the computerized voice said.

" _Four_ minutes to live," the hipster finished. "Goodbye, morons," he said, turning off the monitor.

It immediately turned back on. "Hey, how's it going on your end?" Chris asked.

"The door's still locked and Matthew's not budging," Katie said.

"Right," Chris nodded before turning to the side and calling out "Chef, move us to a safe distance! She's gonna blow!"

"What?!" Katie said in disbelief.

"You're letting us die?!" Geoff added.

"Hey, you all signed a release," Chris replied. "One million bucks is a lot of cash."

The campers immediately began to protest, their angered voices all rising up and mixing together until Chris cut them off with a blow from his airhorn. "ZIP IT!" he shouted, and the camera cut back to the monitor to show him smiling. "Just wanted to do that one last time. Later guys!"

The monitor shut off once more, and a few deep notes played as the campers shared a worried look.

"Oh God, we're really gonna die aren't we?" Katie said in a panic.

"Ugh, if only we could convince Chris to just give up the money, our problems would be solved" Brick said, a hand on his forehead as he tried to think. B's eyes widened in realization.

"Everyone!" Dawn said, snapping everyone out of their panic. "B has a plan!"

\

The scene flashed to Matthew sitting in at the control panel with a scowl when the monitor turned on showing Chris in the inner workings of the island.

"Right here!" 'Chris' said. "Now!"

Matthew pursed his lips. "So you have what I want?" he asked in an unconvinced tone.

"One! Million! Dollars!" "Chris said as sparks began to flew out of his ear.

"Just two more questions," the hipster said. "First, what's my name?"

"Total! Drama!" 'Chris' replied.

"And second, did you really expect me to _fall_ for that trick?!" He asked in growing outrage, only to be shocked at the sound of the door opening.

"No," Dawn said dangerously as the camera cut to six very furious campers in the doorway. "We expected you to be distracted long enough for B to hack the lock again."

The shot returned to Matthew as he gulped, then was tacked to the ground by a snarling Izzy. The camera pulled back to show the others watching with shock and horror and the frame shook every so often the off-screen beating was so savage. Brick shook himself out of it and dashed across the room.

The scene cut back to Matthew, battered and bruised, falling in a heap on the ground as an unscathed Izzy brushed dirt off herself.

"Self-destruct, terminated." The computer's voice rang loud and clear through the room. The camera pulled out to show the room's monitors displaying 00:00 against bluish backgrounds, and Brick standing proudly at the main console.

"Thank you, explosives deactivation training," he said with an almost cocky smile, snapping off a sharp salute.

The shot cut to Matthew's close-up as he growled in anger.

The other inhaled as if to cheer as well, but were cut off by the main monitor switching to a video feed of Chris. "Guys, before you all die," he said calmly, "I just wanted to say that...OH!" he said in realization upon opening his eyes and seeing the room. "Whoa! You took down Matthew! Nice," he laughed, "way better than dying, am I right?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Katie shot at him angrily.

Another growl got his attention, and the music rose up quickly and dangerously as Matthew ran past. "No. NO. NO!" he shouted in rapidly rising fury. This time Geoff tackled him and crashed into the monitor, causing a shower of sparks and an electrocution that rendered both unconscious. Brick and B promptly grabbed them by the arms and pulled them away.

The shot cut to Chris, sitting in the copilot's seat of the helicopter's cabin with Chef beside him. "Not the computer!" the host exclaimed as the console in front of him crackled with electricity, then started to smoke.

"Island Sector A," the computerized voice announced as the shot moved to a raging forest fire...and the bunker that had been built by the Floating Salmons burning along with it, "combustion initiated." The shot cut next to one of the windows of the helicopter, Chris pressing his face against it to look outside. "Island Sector B, cryoactivation completed," the computer said as the shot cut to an iced-over portion of the forest, snow falling and a sasquatch frozen in ice sliding by.

"Grrrreat," Chris said dryly as he returned to his seat, the camera jumping outward to show the entire island – the left half now engulfed in flame, the right have covered in ice.

\

The scene faded ahead to the next night, the usual elimination music beginning over a shot of the area where the Cannon of Shame was located. "I know I normally hand these out to those who are not being eliminated," Chris said, the shot cutting in close to show him holding a tray of marshmallows, as well as Chef, Brick, Dawn, B, Katie, and Izzy. "But today, I feel a _special_ ceremony is called for," he continued with an almost mischievous tone.

He turned, picked up a marshmallow, and prepared to throw it. "You, are _so_ eliminated," he said before throwing the marshmallow. The shot cut to it – and several other marshmallows shortly after - hitting Matthew and/or Geoff in the face, both boys stuck in the muzzle of the cannon with Matthew in a straitjacket. "You're more eliminated than anyone's ever been eliminated. Even that Jersey chick," Chris said as the shot cut back to him and Chef. "The whole island's a _freak_ show because of you!"

"Not cool man," Geoff sighed.

"Yeah, neither was trashing the computer that controls the island," Chris shot back. pressing the button on his remote with little fanfare and sending Geoff and Matthew screaming into the night.

The camera moved back onto Chris, the frozen yeti floating by in the background. "Well, we almost tested the Big Bang Theory," he told the camera with a smile as the capstone theme began to play. "But, at least everything's back to normal. Tune in next week to see who stays in the gang, and who goes bang. Here, on Total! Drama! Paaaaa-" a sudden voice interrupted him.

"IZZY! WE KNOW YOU ARE DOWN THERE!" the voice said over a megaphone, the shot cutting up to a helicopter painted in the blue, yellow, and red of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. "YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!" the voice added as the helicopter's spotlight was turned on and moved across the cast members assembled around the pit below.

"Wait, so all that stuff you were saying was true?" Katie asked Izzy in shock.

"Who knows?" Izzy answered with a shrug, "well guys, it's been fun. But now I gotta go." She pointed dramatically at the helicopter, and shouted "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIIIIVE!" as the music rose up intensely. The wildcard ran off laughing past a shocked Chris and Chef, the helicopter giving chase with the spotlight firmly on her.

Chris quickly recovered and glared at the direction the girl left in. "Just so you know," he shouted at her, "I'm counting that as your official resignation! That's all for now," he said with his normal hosting demeanor, "unless something _else_ decided to happen tonight?" he asked with a sharp look at the campers.

The camera cut back to the Final Four and panned across their utterly shocked faces.

"Guess not," Chris smiled as the shot cut back to him. "Anyway, tune in next time for more Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

The island was still half-burning, half-frozen as the camera made its final zoom outward.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** ...and that's that. As predicted by a lot of people, Matthew returned and tried to blow up the island. I brought him back because no one in this cast was really cut out for that level of evil and I didn't want to use Mal again.

Now the eliminations. I admit, at first I considered bringing in Explosivo to be the reason behind this episode. But quickly abandoned it, but I'd already locked in Izzy's elimination here. So I just gave her her canon elimination from season one. Chris marks it down as a resignation because he's just done with the night's events. and that's that.

Geoff on the other hand. I have a picture in my mind for how I want the last few episodes to go, and he didn't really fit in with it. Which is why Ihad him destroy the compute for the island. Yes, it's a bullshit elimination and I fully admit to that. But I backed myself into a corner.

Oh yeah, about Geoff and Katie. By now I think it's clear that both will be returning for All-Stars 2. So I'll just conclude their romance arc there.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin

 **7th Place:** Courtney

 **6th Place:** Geoff

 **5th Place:** Izzy


	11. Before the Dawn

**Author's Note:** Sadly, this chapter's one of the shortest. But it's still enjoyable.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Well to be fair, I did say Matthew still had some use in him. Anyway, I know Geoff's elimination was weird, but there was nowhere else to put it and keep everything in character.

 _ **PurpleShadowManipulator:**_ Yeah, I'm really upset with how I had to handle Geoff's elimination. I'm glad you liked Geoff and Izzy this season though. Of course, those aren't had characters to like.

 _ **Guest:**_ Thanks! I'm glad you liked Matthew's return and subsequent beating. Well to be fair, the more polarizing OC's all got stuck competing on Danger Island, it is a little odd to hear that someone likes Matthew though. But to each his own. Melanie is Brick's sister.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Geoff was a curveball, but a necessary one. And there really was no other place Izzy could have gone.

 _ **Guest1183:**_ I thought the RCMP was a nice touch to end the weirdness of the last episode. Actually I can't remember the name of it, but there was a fic a while back that had Dawn and Max as the Final Two.

 _ **WeirdAlFan101:**_ This is a pretty good season for B. Katie too, I don't think I've ever seen her make the merge.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ That's the problem with making everyone likable. Eliminations start sucking. I'm glad that everyone's liking Katie though. I had no idea how that risk was gonna play out when I started this season.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Matthew's return was a bit obvious. I'm glad that Geoff's elimination was a better reason than Max's. And yeah, I always thought that the giant fire in canon was how they found Izzy also. That or episodes of the show were being aired before filming ended. Sorry, but Katie and Sadie won't be in the Race. I just think they're better characters when handled separately.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ I know, these 13 episode seasons really are too short.

 _ **Phenomenal Excelsior:**_ Yeah, not really sure why they made that change to Chris. All-Star is going to be after Danger Island and feature 16 campers from this season and that one.

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ B, Brick

 _ **Girls:**_ Dawn, Katie

Now it's time for a mountain climbing challenge

* * *

 **Episode 11: Before the Dawn**

"Last time, on Total Drama," Chris opened along with the capstone theme, the recap montage beginning with a shot of the island malfunctioning – mountains growing, trees changing, storms suddenly popping up. "We had some, uh, 'technical difficulties'," Chris said as a chill wind blew a raccoon past the camera, and a volcano grew before the contestants' eyes. "Then someone, clearly _not_ me," he added over a shot of Matthew launching a group of tree-rockets, "accidentally activated the island's automated self-destruct sequence." The monitor displaying the self-destruct timer was shown popping up between the host and campers, and the montage flashed away.

"We had an hour to shut down the main computer," Chris explained over a clip of him explaining the challenge to the cast by way of a series of images on his tablet, "or the island would blow! Killing everyone who wasn't aboard a fancy helicopter," he said over a clip of himself being lifted off by the military helicopter as he formally began the challenge.

"Dawn and B made it to the control room with loads of time," he continued as B was shown breaking his way into the room in question, followed by a shot of Dawn then him falling to the ground then Matthew walking to the main computer. "But it turns out former competitor Matthew was somehow on the island, and demanded the million dollars in exchange for the campers' lives. But with the help of an incredibly handsome robot," he continued as the montage flashed ahead to the hipster 'talking' with the Chris-bot, "the teens gently subdued Matthew," Izzy was shown tackling Matthew, "and carefully shut down the main computer," he added over as Brick was shown standing triumphant next to the deactivated self-destruct timer, followed by Geoff destroying the computer.

"I then sent Matthew as far away from me as possible," Chris said smugly over a clip of the conversation that led up to Matthew and Geoff being blasted into the night. "and sent Geoff along the ride for destroying my island," he laughed as the blast itself was shown.

"Then Izzy's past caught up with her in a _biiig_ way," he added over a clip of the RCMP helicopter arriving at the island. "And she-"

The montage ended, and the scene cut to Chris standing proudly in front of a bare rock wall. "Well I don't know where she is actually," he admitted. "But I do know this! Today, four will become thee," photographs of each of the Final Four slid into view around him – B and Dawn on the left; Brick and Katie on the right - "And soon we will see! Who'll go kabloom, or should I say...whom? Whom cares! Let's start the show. It's Total! Drama! Paaaaaaahkitew Island!"

The camera zoomed outward as always, and at its greatest extent revealed the current state of the island: the left half smoldering and the right half partially frozen; remnants of the damage done to it the previous episode.

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A lilting tune began as the episode opened on the partially-ruined island, the shot soon moving to the long-banged male intern pushing the frozen sasquatch over to the chubby male intern, who took out a blowdryer and started using it on the ice.

\

The music continued as the scene flashed to the treefort, a green bird flying happily past the camera before it moved inside to focus on Katie. She was sleeping peacefully in what looked like a bed, but the sound of heavy footsteps caused her to stir. She blearily opened her eyes and yawned, but as she sat up to stretch her arms she bumped her head on something – and the camera pulled back to reveal that something as the top bunk of the set of beds she was sleeping in.

"Ugh, I should have taken a top bunk," she grumbled.

"Good morning Katie," Brick said, the camera pulling back even further to show him leaning against the frame to the girls' side of the cabin. "Been a rough couple of days hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess," Katie said neutrally. "I miss Geoff..."

Brick sighed. "I know what you mean. I miss having Courtney around to talk to..."

"Hey at least we still have a shot at the million," Katie told him with a pleasant smile. "But anyway," she said with a quick glance about the room, "where are Dawn and B?"

"They volunteered to secure our provisions for the day," the cadet explained with a thumb over his shoulder.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Katie said with false nervousness.

XXX

"As one of the more athletic members of the Final Four," Brick explained confidently. "I realize I'm a prime target for elimination. To that end, my best shot is allying with Katie. She's just as fit as I am, and we already know we work well as a team."

XXX

"It's just," Katie asked while rubbing her arm, "it's the Final Four, and the others are so close and..."

Brick nodded in understanding. "You're suggesting an alliance," he finished for her.

"Yeah," Katie said excitedly. "It's the only way either of us have a shot at the million."

"You've got a point..." Brick said to himself. "Alright. We'll team up. Salmon company to the end."

"EEE," Katie squealed, dashing over to the cadet and grabbing him in a hug that shocked him. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Brick darted his eyes around, then carefully removed the girl's arms from around him. "You're welcome. And the best part is we don't have to worry about any tricks from of the others."

"Riiight," Katie said as Brick left. A few deep notes played, and the shot zoomed in on a close-up of Katie as she smirked.

XXX

"Normally I'd say Brick is the best to go home," Katie confessed. "But Dawn and B are way too close to even attempt going against them in the Final Three. So my plan is to ally with Brick and make sure either Dawn or B lose."

"The others still don't think that much of me, so it'll be _easy_ get what I want out of them."

XXX

Another lilting tune played as the scene moved to Dawn and B walking through the forest, picking fruit off bushes and trees and putting them in their packs. "Looks like the pomegranates are ripe," Dawn said with a smile as she pulled one off a tree. "Do you want one?" she offered B.

B shook his head with a short wave of his hand.

"Very well," Dawn said, putting the fruit in the pack. "B, it's clear we won't vote for each other," she then began, stopping suddenly and causing her partner to turn around to face her. "And I don't really trust Katie right now because her aura is so dark, so I wanted to know if you would help me convince Brick to vote her off?"

The shot cut to B as he nodded his agreement.

XXX

"B is my best friend," Dawn confessed. "He has a naturally calming presence that really helped when I didn't know why my abilities weren't working. Without him I surely would've been eliminated by now."

XXX

The two friends moved to bump fists, but were stopped off by the sudden earsplitting sound of feedback coming over the camp's loudspeaker causing both teens to wince and cover their ears.

"Sorry! Sorry about that, "Chris apologized. "Seems like every time I press this button," the high-pitched screech of feedback came over the loudspeaker once more, the shot cutting to Brick and Katie on the balcony of the treefort as they were shown wincing and covering their ears as well. "Yup, it's definitely this button," Chris said with an audible smirk. "Anyway," the shot cut to one of the booming loudspeakers, "time to join me at the base of Mount McLean. I just named the mountain," he explained. "I named it after me. Y'know? McLean? Cause I'm awesome? Aaaanyway," the shot cut back to B and Dawn, the two friends awkwardly looking up to presumably where some loudspeakers were, "just get over here prrrron-tooo!"

\

A flash took the scene to a barren and rocky mountain trail, Chris and Chef standing on a slightly higher rock near the edge of a cliff while the Final Four stood nearer to the mountainside.

"Congratulations," Chris greeted. "You should be very proud of yourselves for making it to the Final Four. Proud, and utterly terrified of what awaits you."

"Is the island gonna try and kill us again," Katie asked dryly.

"Nope," Chris answered. "The island is now _completely_ offline. Thanks to a certain _somebody_ whose name I never wanna hear again."

"Are you talking about Geoff," Brick asked, "or Matthew?"

"The second one," Chris said sternly before he resumed his usual demeanor. "Now, today's challenge is called 'Mount Ever-fast'," he explained, slowly spreading his hands in a revelatory fashion. "Which is like Mount Everest, only this mountain was modeled after one in Canada."

"What does this have to do with the challenge?" Dawn asked simply.

Chris sighed in annoyance. "The rules are simple," he continued in a put-upon tone. "At the top of Mt. McLean is a flag," he explained with a point upward, the camera quick-panning up to show a small pinkish pendant flag waving from a metal flagpole at the peak of the mountain. "First one to capture the flag wins immunity, and gets to feed on a _fabulous_ take-out dinner. The last one to make it to the top gets fed to the canon. Chef?" he said, turning to the right as his assistant stepped forward with an armful of climbing packs. He tossed them at the campers and they all landed on the ground with a heavy thud as the three of the Final Four immediately began to talk all at once, their tone questioning but their words indistinguishable.

They were cut off by a blast from Chris' airhorn. "Go!" he commanded, and a fast-paced challenge tune began as the five raced up the trail – Brick and B out front, then Katie and Dawn in the rear.

Then the music cut out abruptly as the shot returned to Chris and Chef, and the host sighed happily. "This is gonna sound crazy, but I kinda miss that artist kid. 'It's like, a metaphor for something," he added in a mocking tone.

A light tune played as the two men burst into laughter, Chris even doubled over.

The host took a moment to recover, then said "Alright, time to make their lives miserable." He pulled out his remote control and pressed the button, an ominous riff playing as the camera pulled back an a large green shipping crate was lowered down in front of the two men. It hug about a foot off the ground, and without warning a scaly fist and the snout of a crocodile burst through two separate parts of it.

\

The challenge music resumed as the scene moved back to the mountain trail where Brick and B were charging onward, smirking competitively at one another. Brick seemed to suddenly realize something, then looked back. "You doing alright back there, Katie?" she asked, the shot cutting to the girl in question still running along at the back, now behind Dawn.

"I'll be fine," Katie said while seeming out of breath, "just not used to steep inclines."

The shot cut to a close-up of Brick as he slowed down so that he was alongside Katie and thus near to Dawn. "I'd be happy to lend a hand if you want," he said.

"Really?" Katie asked brightly.

XXX

"Now that I know the challenge suits everybody _except_ me," Katie said in mild annoyance, "I need to readjust my strategy. My new plan is to appear just weak enough so that Brick will want to help me out. Then when we get to the top, I'll have more stamina than the others and can easily take that flag."

She crossed her arms and stared at the camera. " _Nothing_ is stopping me and Sadie from achieving our dreams."

XXX

"Katie has been a good teammate all season," Brick explained. "And the number one rule of the cadet code is 'Never leave a man behind'!"

XXX

"Just hop on my back, I'll carry you for a while," Brick offered, pointing a thumb at his shoulders.

"Oh my gosh, thanks," Katie said, smiling as she darted forward and jumped onto Brick's back. "You won't drop me will you?" she asked with sudden nervousness.

Brick grunted as he shifted her weight, then grabbed her under the knees and sped up so he was even with Dawn again. "No worries," he said, "in basic training we had to carry twice this."

A dull note played as the camera panned to Dawn, who sighed and shook her head.

XXX

"Forgive me Earth Mother," Dawn said seriously, "but as much as I don't like Katie's obvious plan, I just can't help but be glad I'm not the target. And that those two wll be slowed down enough for me to not be in last."

XXX

Dawn looked back over her shoulder and gasp in sudden fright. "Run!" she said in a panic, running ahead.

Katie and Brick looked back too, and the music suddenly became dangerous as they screamed and ran off as well. Moments later a pack of crocodiles crawled through the scene in chase.

The shot cut ahead to show the pair standing on a relatively tall and craggy piece of rock jutting out from the cliff wall, the crocodiles waiting hungrily on the path below. "Stay back, you stupid gators!" Katie shot at them, shaking a fist at them menacingly but shrieking when the closest one snapped its jaws at her.

"Uh oh!" Brick gasped in shock.

Just then a monitor lowered down to the left with a mechanical whir, a lived feed of Chris relaxing in a deck chair already on its screen. "Actually, those are crocodiles," he pointed out. "Which are _waaaay_ deadlier. I'd get moving if I were you."

"Moving where?!" Brick asked in fear and outrage before the crocodiles lunged upward, forcing him and Katie to jump up and cling to the corners of the massive monitor. They screamed as the crocodiles continued to jump and snap...but then something went 'baaa' off-screen, and the shot cut to the crocs looking to the right at a small goat eating flowers growing in the cracks of a rock. It looked to the side in sudden fear, then turned and fled – the bell on its neck jangling with each hop – as the crocodiles charged it.

"What?! They're leaving?!" Chris said in shock as the shot returned to the monitor. "I mean...woo! Close call," he quickly corrected, even fanning himself with his hands. "Hah, I am so glad you two are-"

He was cut off when one of the supports holding the monitor up snapped, causing the feed to cut to static and then off entirely. The other support snapped moments later, sending the monitor – as well as Brick and Katie– crashing to the ground.

\

" _Hey_!" Chris exclaimed in anger and annoyance, the scene moving to where he was watching the challenge though his monitor was blank now as well. "How _dare_ they break my equipment! Do you know how much I had to pay for that monitor? Twenty bucks!"

\

"Aaagh...," Brick groaned, a hand on his lower back as the scene cut to him sitting on the ground next to the fallen monitor. "That's gonna hurt in the morning. You okay, Katie?" he turned his head and asked, the camera panning to the right to show her already standing.

"Yup!" she said cheerily. "Now let's go!"

XXX

"I wasn't gonna just leave him there," Katie said in offense. "What if he found a shortcut that I didn't?"

XXX

The tense music resumed once more as the scene moved to B still running along the mountain trail. The sound of someone approaching caught his attention and the camera zoomed out to show Dawn running up with a look of fear.

B cocked his head to the side.

Dawn doubled over to catch her breath. "Crocodiles," she said in between pants. "Don't know if they're still following me."

XXX

"I still feel bad I didn't help them," Dawn admitted. "But Brick is more than capable of getting out of trouble. And I really want to not come in last."

"I'm planning on using the money to open up nature preserves all over the country. Canada's natural beauty must go untarnished," she declared.

XXX

The static cut away to show the two friends gasping and sliding to a stop as the path in front of them ended, and the camera pulled back to show a series of flat-topped stone pillars before them and a stream of lava pouring from a crack in the mountain wall.

"What is _this_?" Dawn asked in confusion.

Another monitor lowered down from the rock wall with a video feed of Chris on its screen. " _This_ is where you hop from one hoodoo to the next," he explained, the camera panning to the right across the hoodoos to where the trail resumed, "until you make it across. And there's a trick to it, so listen up, this is important: Don't fall," he said emphatically as the camera returned to the monitor, "to, your death." He broke out in raucous laughter, and the teens shared a scowl.

B smirked and started to reach for his climbing gear.

"Good idea Beverly," Chris said with an impish smile, "if you think you have time before the crocodiles arrive."

A chorus of snarls rose up in the background, joined by an approaching scream. B and Dawn looked back down the trail, and the shot cut to the crocodiles moving in their direction.

XXX

B just shrugged.

XXX

"Normally I'm not afraid of any animals," Dawn explained calmly, "but now that there's a possibility of anyone I encounter being a murderous robot... you can understand my fear."

XXX

"Well," Chris spoke up, drawing the teens' attention back to his smiling face on the monitor, "looks like you have a choice to make about avoiding those crocs."

The shot cut to the snarling swarm in question approaching rapidly, then back to the teens. B just shrugged and walked a bit toward the crocs.

To Dawn's shock he barged past her, running up to the edge of the path and jumping.

The footage froze, a pause symbol appearing on-screen.

\

"Well, our Final Four may be no more," Chris said, the shot cutting to him in his deck chair as the capstone theme began to play. "Will it be a double elimination ceremony? Aka, _funeral_? Find out next, on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with booming dramatic music over a shot of B completing his short jump; he landed on the hoodoo, then immediately started to slip.

The shot cut to the monitor as Chris laughed. "Oh no," he asked in feigned shock, "did I forget to mention those hoodoos are greased?"

B shot a quick glare at the monitor before crouching down and grabbing the edge of the hoodoo, stopping her slipping. A shot followed of the pack of crocodiles slowly approaching and snapping their jaws, the camera panning back to Dawn and the monitor.

"Yeah, if I were you I'd probably figure out how to get moving like now," Chris said.

Dawn pursed her lips.

XXX

"The situation isn't as dire as Chris would have us believe," Dawn explained calmly. "Once you clear the first hurdle there's really no danger of the crocs... I hope that's the case at least."

XXX

The static cut away and the music became much more technical as B closed one of his eyes, stuck a thumb in front of his face, and tilted his head to the side. From there he slowly, and gingerly hopped from one hoodoo to the next, never slipping once.

The camera panned back to Dawn, who took a deep breath and began to walk calmly across the hoodoos, stepping from one to the next without issue.

XXX

Dawn let out a relieved sigh.

XXX

"Took ya long enough!' Chris scolded the crocodiles as they walked up to the monitor. "Next time would ya mind attacking the contestants instead of the local game?"

One of the crocodiles burped up a collar with a bell on it identical to what the goat had been wearing. "Ewww...," Chris said in disgust.

The shot cut to B jumping onto the final hoodoo, Dawn somehow already at the other side. But before he could jump again Chris called out from off-screen "Swingin' log, comin' at ya!"

The two teens gasped and ducked just before a log swung down from the right, sailing over their heads and continuing to the left out-of-sight. "And people say I don't care for the safety and well-being of our players," he told the camera with a mischievous smile.

The campers stood back up and B made his last jump, but as he was in the air the camera quickly cut away to the log swinging back down, then hitting him square in the back just as he touched the ground. He winced in pain as he was knocked forward onto his stomach.

"B!" Dawn cried out in concern, rushing forward to the genius's side. "Are you alright?"

B nodded, pushing himself up but then wincing in pain and collapsing again, getting caught by Dawn.

XXX

"He's helped me so much this season," Dawn confessed. "It's only right that I help him now."

XXX

A grand tune started to build up as Dawn began to pull B up the path by his arms, straining with every step.

The camera panned back across the hoodoos to where the crocodiles were standing, whimpering in fear at the edge of the cliff. "What's wrong?" Chris asked them, the shot zooming in on the monitor. "Afraid of a little hundred-and-fifty-foot drop? Maybe _this_ will change your mind!"

He pulled out his remote and pressed the button, the background music turning ominous as the crocodiles' eyes turned red. They growled and crawled forward on their bellies with a growl, and the camera cut to them climbing straight down the side of the cliff.

The music abruptly cut out as the camera panned back up and to the left to show Brick and Katie arriving. "Alright, I don't see the crocs," Brick commented. "Hopefully we're not too far behind."

"I don't think we'll see anymore of those things," Katie said with a smug grin. "All it took was a hair clip, your belt buckle, and my my emergency credit card."

They skidded to a stop at the edge of the cliff, and the camera focused in on the monitor – and Chris. "Yeah, well, you're lucky I don't disqualify you guys fir doing that to my robo-crocs," Chris scolded them. "Luckily, there's still plenty of time left in the challenge to make up for it," he added with a dark smile. "And, it's a long way-" to his shock his feed was cut off by the monitor's support suddenly breaking, sending the monitor plummeting into the hoodoo-filled gorge.

"Whoa," Katie said as she and Brick looked down from the cliff's edge, "that's a long way down."

"It's alright," Brick said decisively, putting a hand on his partner's shoulder. "I'll get us through this, just trust me."

"Uh, if you say so," Katie said awkwardly, taking another glance down the gorge. "But it doesn't look _too_ hard. I think..." She took a deep breath and ran onto the first hoodoo, which caused her to slip and land on the second one with a bounce that sent her to the third, and so on until she reached the other side of the gorge on her butt.

"Ow..." she groaned in pain as the log sailed over her head.

The camera zoomed out to show Brick riding the log across the gorge and landing next to Katie.

XXX

"That was embarrassing..." Katie said.

XXX

The scene moved back to Dawn and B, the former grunting with every step as she drug the latter by the arms. B tapped his foot a couple of times to get her attention, and when she stopped he stood up and cracked his back.

B gave Dawn a thumbs up as she caught her breath.

"You're welcome," Dawn replied. "But I'm afraid you may need to help me again," she said, craning her neck upward.

B smiled, taking off his pack of climbing gear.

\

The scene flashed back to a cave entrance as Brick and Katie ran up to it.

"Wait, stop!" Katie cried out, jumping out from the cave and forcing Brick to stop. "If this cave lets out higher up the mountain, we could catch up to Dawn and B. We might even pass them!"

"And what if it doesn't?" Brick asked. "We'll lose."

Katie sighed and palmed her face. "Which we were probably gonna do _anyway_. You know I'm right and this is our best chance, so what are you worried about?"

Brick shrugged uncertainly under Katie's glare. "It's a little, uh, d-d-dark," he admitted, "but I'm willing to try it if it's our only shot at getting the flag."

"Then let's go already" Katie griped, and moments later the two ran into the cave.

\

A dramatic tune played as the scene flashed back to the hoodoos...and the crocodiles, still red-eyed suddenly flew up with fire spewing out of their feet like rockets.

"Oh killer robot crocodiles," Chris said as the shot moved to him watching the crocodiles on his TV, "is there anything you _can't_ do?"

\

The scene flashed back to Dawn struggling to scale the mountain with a rope tied around her waist. She slipped, and the music turned dangerous as she fell down to the ground only to stop suddenly when the rope was pulled taut.

The camera panned up a few yards to show B - a rope around his waist as well - looking down with a concerned expression while hanging on to the handpick he was using.

The camera panned back down to Dawn dangling in mid-air. "I'm just more used to climbing trees than mountains," she said.

B just shrugged and kept climbing, and Dawn yelped as she was pulled upward by the rope.

\

The background music became tense as the scene moved back to Katie and Brick, the duo now walking up a slope through a cave. Brick was in front, holding a flashlight and look straight ahead.

"Eww, this place smells like a pack of wet dogs locked in a storage shed," Katie said, scrunching her nose up in disgust.

"Well, at least we're almost out," Brick said with a smile as the group reached level ground. "I can see daylight up ahead!"

The two immediately froze in shock. "Uh, that's not the only thing up ahead..." Katie whispered in rising dread.

The shot jumped outward to show them at the right end of a room full of sleeping bears, an exit to the outside world on the far left.

"Ssh," Brick said as the shot cut back in to him. He pointed at Katie, then jerked a thumb back over his shoulder. The campers started to creep quietly to the left...and then a monitor showing the live feed of Chris descended from the cave ceiling.

"HEY!" Chris greeted enthusiastically. "I SEE YOU'VE FOUND OUR BEAR CAVE!" The music rose up dramatically along with a dangerous number of angry growls and mechanical whirs. "Oops," Chris said mischievously.

The shot jumped outward again to show the bears awake and glaring at the two campers with angry red eyes.

"RUN!" Katie screamed, the background music booming dramatically as they made a mad sprint for the exit.

\

The shot immediately cut to the outside, a large flat area with a small tree growing to the left. Katie and Brick ran screaming out of it. "Quickly!" Brick said, pulling a large coil of rope from his pack and handing one end to Katie; the two took up positions on either side of the cave exit and pulled the rope taut between them.

Moments later the first of the bears came charging out, only to trip on the rope and barrel end-over-end of to the left. The camera followed it as it rolled all the way off the side of a cliff with a series of metallic crashing noises, and several more bears followed it in a stream that started seconds later. Once the last one had fallen off the mountain and the din of their crashing falls lessened, the camera panned back to show the two campers regrouping.

"Oh my gosh!" Katie said, a hand on her chest and breathing heavily. "You just saved our butts!"

Brick chuckled bashfully. "Well hey, I _am_ a cadet after all. They do a good job teaching you how to think on your feet."

\

"Are we close to the top?!" Dawn called up as the scene moved back to her on the mountain side.

B smiled and sent a thumbs up back down, then stuck his hand pick into a small outcropping. The music turned dangerous as the rock began to crumble, and with a panicked look down, he quickly untied the rope from his waist before falling to the ground.

The camera panned down to show that the genius's pack had gotten caught on a branch jutting out of the mountain side.

"B!" Dawn yelled out in concern as she started to climb down, only for B to vigorously shake his head and gesture up the slope.

"Are you sure?" Dawn asked uncertainly.

B nodded his agreement.

"O-okay," she said. She resumed climbing, then a few moments later the panned down to B as his pack began to tear. He sent a brief panicked look to the camera before the pack tore completely and he fell once again...

\

The scene flashed back to Katie and Brick, the two now running to the right up the mountain trail. "Alright parter, we have no idea where Dawn and B are so it's full-speed all the way to the top!" Brick said.

"I _know_!" Katie groaned before suddenly stopping. "Hey, why'd it get so dark all of a sudden?"

Brick stopped as well, and both looked up just in time to see B fall onto them, knocking them to the ground and kicking up a cloud of dust.

\

A slow yet triumphant tune began welling up as the scene cut to the top of a cliff, Dawn grunting as she pulled herself up to it. "I did it!" she exclaimed with pride.

"There's the flag!" she said excitedly, pointing to the side. The viewpoint shifted to show the small flag billowing in the wind, but the camera then panned down to show a monitor embedded in the rock below it – and a red-eyed robotic crocodile standing guard and snapping its jaws.

"But... how?!" Dawn asked in disbelief.

The monitor turned on to show Chris' smiling face. "Are you kidding me? These robo-crocs can do anything!" The camera zoomed out as three more robo-crocs flew down to a hover above the first, flames still coming from their feet. "They're even equipped with the latest version of MyTunes!"

A dreamy tune that had once been the leitmotif of a certain eliminated contestant began playing, and Dawn – now standing on the mountaintop – sighed in resignation.

"Anyway," Chris told them, "they're gonna eat you. Good luck!" he said as the three hovering crocs flew towards the moonchild.

Dawn gulped and charged forward. The camera followed her as she met the crocodiles, ducking under them, then continuing forward.

Dawn skidded to a stop in front of the flag with a smile and grabbing it. "I won!" she cheered.

The camera pulled back to show she was using the inside of a croc's mouth as a stepping stone. "... oh no," she moaned in horror as the jaws snapped shut around her.

Chris just laughed. "Ooh, so close! I guess that's what happens when... _Whaaaat_?"

The shot cut back to the crocodile that had swallowed Dawn up on two legs and moonwalking in place, the same dreamy music issuing forth from it.

Then it exploded, revealing Dawn, coughing heavily and blackened with soot but otherwise alive and with the flag in hand.

She let out an excited cheer, then resumed coughing.

\

"We have a winner!" Chris announced as the scene cut to Brick, Katie, and B still still in a heap on the mountain trail, a victorious tune playing as the three stopped and looked at the nearby monitor displaying a live feed of Chris and Dawn. "Dawn captured the flag and won immunity, the next two to the top get to stay. The last one to get here, blasts away!"

Brick, B, and Katie shared a nervous look, then started running again.

XXX

"I only have to beat one of them to the top," Katie said with a devious grin. "Looks like my best shot is playing dirty."

XXX

Tense challenge music started playing as the static cut away to the three campers running up the trail, the boys in front but Katie gaining. "Sorry guys," she told them as the camera zoomed in to her grabbing Brick and B by their collars, "but I _really_ can't lose right know." She stopped suddenly and yanked back on them, causing their legs to swing out from under them and causing B to land on his back with a painful thud and Brick to fall off the cliff edge.

"Sorry!" she told them before racing off. "But not really!"

The music turned triumphant as B sat up with a heated glare, only to gape in shock as Brick reappeared riding a robo-croc. Brick flew up the mountain with a cheer and B narrowed his eyes and ran up the path once again.

XXX

"That was the best bit of luck I've had since coming here," Brick smiled. "I am a little confused about what happened with Katie though, maybe it was heat of the moment thing?"

XXX

The static moved to Brick arriving at the plateau where Chris and Dawn were waiting. "And _Brick_ comes in second," Chris announced, turning to the monitor behind him which showed the Katie and Brick still heading up the mountain but now neck-and-neck. "Yeah, Katie and Beverly, I can think of one million reasons why you should get moving."

B and Katie shared a glare as the shot cut back to them standing next another monitor mounted in the wall of the mountain. A tense tune rose up as Katie turned around, then kicked the genius in the crotch. His eyes widened in pain as he sunk to his knees, and Katie sent him a mocking wave before running up the path.

The music stopped as a startled Katie ran onto the plateau. "And Katie makes it to the top!" Chris announced with glee. "Sorry Bev, but you're going home," he added as the genius laid on the ground.

XXX

"How great was _that_?!" Katie cheered. "Not only am I still in the game, but I got rid of one of the biggest threats _and_ stopped an alliance from making the Final Three!"

"I _totally_ have this villain thing down."

XXX

The standard elimination theme opened over a shot of the moonlit island, the shot soon moving to the firepit.

"I imagined a different outcome," Chris said as the camera zoomed in to him and his plate of marshmallows, a few deep notes being struck shortly after. "But, as long as I get to shoot someone out of a cannon, I'll sleep okay. Katie, Brick, and Dawn are safe," the shot cut to the three in question catching the marshmallows that were thrown at them. "Dawn, you also win dinner," Chris added with a hosting smile as a slow country tune began to play, pulling out a brown paper bag with a picture of a bull on it. "Aaaaa takeout order from the Prairie Oyster Palace! You're nuts," he sang to a jingle, "if you're not nuts, about these nuts!"

"Moving on," Chris said as the shot briefly cut back to him, "Beverly," B tensed up. "Thanks to a low blow from Katie," he paused to chuckle while the boy in question glared at Katie," you're officially out of the game."

"This is all my fault," Dawn said sadly. "I should've helped you."

B shook his head and pointed to himself, then took off his cap placed it on his friend's head. Backwards, just like he wore it.

Dawn sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye, then hugged B. They broke apart and bumped fists.

B started strolling to the canon, only to be stopped by Brick. "I can't say I like you goin' out this way," he said. "It was an honor to fight alongside you as well as against you," he said, snapping off one last salute.

B smiled and returned the salute.

\

The screen flipped about its central axis, taking the scene to the B loaded into the Cannon of Shame.

"Any final words B?" Chris asked as the shot cut to him, Chef, and the Final Three. "Any words at all?"

B sighed and opened his mouth, and the shot cut to the Final Three widening their eyes in anticipation, only to be left in shock as he was suddenly blasted off into the night with a scream.

Chris sighed in contentment as the camera panned over to him and Chef. "And _four_ becomes _three_ ," he said as the capstone theme began to play, motioning to Dawn, Katie, and Brick "Who won't taste sweet vic-to-ry? Just wait and see, on the next, Total! Drama! Paaaaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Once again an easily predicted elimination. But a fun one. I got to explore Katie as a villain, and Dawn finally managing to win a challenge.

Of course writing the actual elimination was upsetting. I was actually in tears writing B and Dawn's goodbye. But, there's just not a lot more I could have done with him.

All in all this challenge is just a nice breather before things really heat up.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin

 **7th Place:** Courtney

 **6th Place:** Geoff

 **5th Place:** Izzy

 **4th Place:** B


	12. Trivial Pursuits

**Author's Note:** Another shorter chapter, and one I kinda struggled with, but it's here. Early even.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Guest:**_ I'm glad I was able to get B to last so long. But you're right, reminiscing is usually a bad sign. Thanks for that little tidbit. I'm always looking for trivia tidbits for this series. Actually we're only close to ending the season. There's still a ways to go for the series.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Again, I was really looking forward to dealing with the series's most shafted contestants, and B was no different. You've interesting predictions, time to see if you're right.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ I'm so glad I was able to get B so far. I don't know why immunity was given last time. I kinda stopped questioning Chris's whims. You've only a short while before discovering who's making the finale.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Glad you liked B, I was a little worried I was keeping him longer than necessary. And I'm glad you liked Katie's villainy.

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ It's funny you took the title as Dawn's safety. I actually renamed it from a pun on B's name sense I thought it made his elimination too obvious. Don't get me wrong. I am an avid Bawn shipper, but there's just not enough fics of them being platonic. Thanks, the ending's not too far away.

 _ **Phenomenal Ultra Instinct:**_ I do like to put _some_ surprise in an episode, even if the elimination's obvious.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Interesting predictions...

 _ **Remaining Campers:**_

 _ **Boys:**_ Brick

 _ **Girls:**_ Dawn, Katie

It's time for Chris to get lazy, and decide the Final Two...

* * *

 **Episode 12: Trivial Pursuits**

"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris began over the usual long-distance shot of the island. "The Final Four took a simple footrace to dangerous new heights," he said as the recap led off with a clip of B, Brick, Dawn, and Katie racing up the mountain trail, followed by a clip of Katie and Brick getting surrounded by a pack of angry robotic bears as Chris laughed. "Man I love this show!"

"With Dawn and B acting as platonic powerhouses," the two friends were shown climbing the mountainside with their gear, "Brick and Katie were forced to team up," Katie and Brick were shown forming an alliance before the challenge. "Which was actually a pretty good idea," Katie was shown getting a piggyback ride from Brick, pulling Brick and B back so she could get ahead of them, and kicking B in the groin. "Until it became a very _bad_ idea," Chris finished with a laugh as Katie was shown bragging in the confessional.

"In the end, B was the last to reach for the top," B was shown laying on the ground after Katie's sabotage, "and next to be loaded into the Peas-Shooter of Shame." The montage concluded with a brief shot of B and Dawn saying goodbye, then getting him fired off into the night.

"The four are no more, so we're down to these three," Chris rhymed, motioning to the portraits of Brick, Katie, and Dawn lined up in a column on the righthand side of the screen. "And soon, one more of them will blast free. So, whoooo's going to be in your Final Two? I wanna know," he pointed at himself, "don't you? Let's do! Here, on Total! Drama! Iiiiiiisland Pahkitew!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A lilting tune played as the episode opened on the treefort, but it was quickly replaced by something higher and more dangerous as the scene cut inside to Katie sleeping in her bed, a familiar shadow falling over her. She opened her eyes, and the music spiked as the perspective inverted, showing the silhouette of Dawn glaring angrily down at her.

Katie screamed.

"You won't get away with what you did," Dawn told her, the camera moving to a side-angle to show the moonchild adjusting B's cap on her head and Katie sitting up as much as she could in her lower bunk. "I'll see to that." She walked away, and Katie rolled her eyes.

XXX

"What's she gonna do?" Katie asked dismissively with her arms crossed. "Tell the animals here to make it harder for me to win?" She scoffed. "Not likely. I've still got my alliance with Brick and even _if_ we was smart enough to realize I'm using him, he's too nice to end it."

She smirked. "Little Miss Weirdo isn't going _any_ where but the canon."

XXX

"I knew Katie's aura was turning dark," Dawn confessed with a scowl, "but I thought she might realize she's turning into what she used to hate. But she didn't, and B paid the price."

She took off her cap and gazed at it sadly, then clenched it to her chest. "I swear by the Earth Mother I will take her down!"

XXX

A few heavy notes played as the scene moved to the lakeside, showing Brick sitting on a rock with a fishing pole in his hands. He sighed forlornly and looked at the bag of fruit next to him. "They never tell you how lonely the game gets when you're this far into it," he said before looking back down at the water. The camera moved over him to show him looking at his own reflection, which shimmered and reformed into the smiling face of Courtney.

Brick sighed again and smiled back.

XXX

"Now that I've time to think," Brick told the outhouse. "I'm glad Courtney's not here anymore. Don't get me wrong," he immediately backtracked. "I'm _not_ glad I voted for her. I just realized that knowing she's waiting for me gives me _extra_ motivation. The girls are clever, and Katie's fit, but I'm _clearly_ the favored to win," he declared proudly, puffing out his chest. "Fashion school here I come!"

He crossed his arms and smirked at the camera. "Yeah, you heard me."

XXX

"Attention punching bags!" Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers. "It's that time again! Final Three," the shot cut to Katie jogging alone through the forest, "to the meeting area! Prrrron-to!"

"Duh, like we're gonna miss out on a challenge this late in the game," Katie muttered in annoyance.

The sudden sound of a motor approaching caught his attention, and he glanced to the side in surprise as Chef drove up next to him in his jeep. "Chef? What are you doing out here?" Katie asked in disbelief. "We never see you outside of challenges!"

"Doesn't matter," Chef replied gruffly. "Now hop on, girlie, I'll take ya to the meetin' area," he added as he reached out, grabbed Katie by the arm, and pulled her into the jeep.

The shot cut in front of them to show Katie looking around with wide, wary eyes. "So obviously, I'm grateful for the rest before the challenge. But you're very big and scary and you kinda just kidnapped me..."

Chef sighed heavily. "Look, I've been payin' attention to you kids all season. You really wanna win for your friend," he admitted with a few vague hand gestures.

"Obviously," Katie said with a roll of her eyes.

Chef scowled at her, and she sent a sheepish smile back. "Look, I know you're behind that bossy girl's elimination," he said to Katie's immediate shock. "And I know you lied to soldier boy to make it happen. You've pulled all the tricks to get what you want. Kinda like that model a while back. Am I gettin' through to you?"

"That... that's different" Katie said nervously. "I'm only doing this for Sadie."

Chef snorted. "You know, I gotta best friend too. And he used to be a nice sweet kid like you. But then he took a job that needed him to act like a jerk. Sure he went back to bein' a decent guy off the clock, but slowly he stopped," he said, looking straight at Katie. "He turned into the thing he used to hate...," he said with an sad mutter.

"Wait, are you talking about-" Katie began, furrowing her brow in confused realization and looking at Chef.

The jeep promptly stopped. "Look," Chef told him, "I'm just sayin' your friend might not be as loyal as I am. Now get out," he ordered, thrusting an arm out to his left. "Or I'll make sure you're the next one in the cannon."

"Y-yeah. Totally," Katie said in a mild panic, scrambling out of the jeep and running off in the direction Chef was pointing.

The camera lingered on Chef just long enough to catch him smiling.

XXX

"What?" Chef asked the outhouse camera. "I couldn't stand watchin' that girl go down the path of stupidity!"

XXX

"Children of competition," Chris greeted the Final Three, now assembled before him in the meeting area. "Your toughest challenge yet will be in three parts. Head, to head, to head," he said as the camera panned in close across Brick, Dawn, and Katie.

"Oh no..." Dawn muttered.

"What's the matter," Katie taunted, "worried now that your safety net's gone?"

"I can _dominate_ no matter the challenge," Brick chimed in with a smirk.

"Good to know," Chris interjected. "Now, as I was saying, this is a three-part challenge with each player creating one part."

The Final Three looked at him with shock and a bit of excitement. "So I get to create my own challenge, huh?" Katie asked slyly.

"You all do," Chris repeated, "within _reason_. Winner of each challenge gets 3 points," he explained, holding up a trio of fingers. "Second place gets 2," he held up two fingers on his other hand, "and last place gets 1," he finished, putting his hands down entirely. "After all three challenges, the player with the least total points gets to see the inside of the cannon. Briefly," he clarified with a slight chuckle as Dawn and Katie glared at one another.

"The two _highest_ scores get to battle it out in the finale," Chris continued, turning around and motioning to the side, "for one! Million! Dol-lars!" A grandiose tune played as the camera moved onto the standard issue briefcase full of prize money, the shot then pulling back to show it hanging from a fishing pole held by the chubby male intern. The line promptly snapped, causing the case to drop and pop open and the money inside to go flying.

"Whoa! Careless," Chris chastised. "Get that money back into the case pronto," he ordered as the intern tossed the fishing pole away, "or, you're fired." The intern kneeled down and started frantically stuffing the bills back into the case. "You have one minute to write down the details of your challenge," Chris turned and told the Final Three.

XXX

Katie began her confessional with a mischievous giggle. "No way are they gonna beat _my_ challenge."

XXX

"I already know what I'm gonna suggest," Brick declared confidently. "Finale here I come!"

XXX

"I have an idea," Dawn said calmly.

XXX

"We begin out Final Three showdown," Chris said, "with the challenge created by...-" a drumroll played- "Brick!"

"Yes!" Brick said, pumping a fist victoriously as the girls sulked.

XXX

"Having the first strike is one of the best advantages in the military," Brick explained.

XXX

"Hey," Katie objected. "Why does _he_ get to go first?"

"Easy, Katie," Chris said, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "The order was decided randomly with the help of the interns.

\

The footage flashed back to show the three interns, each nervously holding a photograph of one of the Final Three – the tall boy holding Brick, the girl holding Dawn, and the fat boy holding Katie. Chris stood before them, blindfolded and with a dart in his hand. "Okay, here goes!" he said happily, the shot cutting in closer to him as he threw the dart.

A masculine grunt of pain and the sound of something being stabbed came from off-screen, and Chris raised his blindfold. He frowned, then turned and walked away with a nonchalant whistle.

\

"And Brick's challenge is..." Chris said as the scene returned to him and the Final Three. "A _military obstacle course_!"

The shot returned to the campers to show Brick looking proudly and Dawn gulping in sudden panic. Katie simply gave a calm shrug.

XXX

"I took the obstacle course medal three years in a row," Brick told the outhouse.

XXX

"How hard could it be?" Katie asked.

XXX

"Chef, take it away!" Chris motioned to the side, and the camera panned over to show Chef Hatchet standing tall in his drill sergeant's uniform at the edge of a mud pit.

"Alright maggots listen up!" he barked as a military drumline began to play. "Ya got four obstacles to go through, each more deadly and harrowin' than the last." He calmly motioned to his left, and the camera started to pan across to the right. "First up ya got your Wire Pit," he said as the camera reached a low but long framework supporting a dense tangle of wires; some barbed and others crackling with electricity. "Then ya got the Firing Range," the camera quick-panned onward to an open patch of mud with a rack loaded with various firearms that had been used in the show's past set up behind it, "where the other me and two interns are gonna shoot at ya. After that is the Climbin' Wall," the camera quick-panned to a rather tall wooden wall with with three muddy ropes leading to the top, "and then a run across a Mine Field to the finish line." On the other side of the wall was a stretch dry ground, the camera's continued pan showing a leaf drifting down onto the ground and setting off a small explosion. "Where you'll be blindfolded," he finished with a dark chuckle.

"Uh," Brick said in wide-eyed shock as the camera returned to him, Dawn and Katie. "That's not what I had in mind."

"Yeah, well," Chris said as the camera pulled back to show him and Chef, "you were kinda vague, so, I took some liberties. Now, you'll be running this all at the same time. First one to the end, or last one alive, wins the challenge."

"Now take your positions, soldiers!" Chef barked. "Move! Move! Move!" At his orders the Final Three scrambled off to the right with frantic expressions on their faces.

\

"Alright," Chris said, the scene flashing forward to him sitting in his jeep with the tall intern in the driver's seat. "Our runners are in position," a sharp note played as the shot cut to the Final Three getting down into a runner's position at a starting line a couple feet away from the edge of the mud pool - Brick the furthest from the camera, then Katie, then Dawn, "and so are the gunners." Another sharp note, and another cut showed Chef, the female intern and the fat intern standing at the weapon rack, the latter two waiting with multi-barreled leech guns while the former loaded his pasta cannon. "Challenge starts...," Chris said as the shot cut back to him raising his airhorn with his left hand while his right held a stopwatch, " _NOW_!"

He blew the airhorn, the intern drove the jeep forward, and an intense challenge theme began to play all at once. The camera focused in on Brick as he took off running, a close-up showing his feet sloshing through the mud with little apparent resistance.

"Brick quickly reaches the Crawl-Through," Chris narrated from off-screen as the cadet dove head-first into the tangle of wires, landing on his stomach in the mud and immediately shifting into a crawl forward. The shot lingered long enough to show Katie and Dawn dive under the tangle of wires.

The camera followed Dawn as she headed under each wire, until a close-up showed the back of her sweater. "Ooh!" Chris winced. "Looks like Dawn's hit a snag, literally!" Dawn looked back with a gasp, then narrowed her eyes and forced her way forward – tearing a small piece of her sweater off in doing so. "But she gets out," Chris noted as moonchild crawled onward and off-camera, "and is the last one to enter the Firing Range."

The focus returned to Brick about halfway through the Firing Range - easily bobbing and weaving his way around a barrage of leeches and pasta - then panned back to Katie trying to pull her foot out of a particularly thick patch of mud.

"Thank you for the lead!" Dawn called out as she passed by the villainess.

Katie growled, then yanked her foot free. Her shoe was still stuck in the mud, and after a moment of indecisiveness, took off her other shoe and started running again.

XXX

"It's only a pair of shoes," Katie told the outhouse. "After I win, I can just buy a new pair. Plus me and Sadie are the same size."

XXX

"Dawn makes quick progress through the Firing Range thanks to some smooth moves," Chris narrated as the moonchild seemed to magically evade every leech and pasta blast sent her way. "WHOA!" Chris added in shock and excitement the camera cut to Katie suddenly overtaking her. "Katie takes back second place! But Brick's beat both of them to the Climbing Wall," Chris continued as the shot cut to the cadet skidding to a stop in front of the high wooden barrier. "The girls better get moving if they want to win!"

Brick smirked and jumped up to grab the rope. He climbed up it for a few seconds before the mud both from the rope and his hands caused him to slip and fall to the ground with a squelch and a groan.

"Oh," Chris announced, "be careful with those ropes. They've been greased. And they're muddy too," he added with a laugh.

Brick narrowed his eyes and grabbed the rope once again. He made decent progress but the failed first attempt was enough for Katie to reach the wall when he was about a third the way up and Dawn to reach it not long after. More leeches hit them in the back, but it did nothing to prevent the Final Three from climbing upward and onward.

A skip forward in the footage showed Brick already mid-air after jumping from the platform at the top of the wall while Dawn was starting hers.

"No!" Katie cried out in anger as she reached the top.

"And Katie passes the Climbing Wall," Chris announced, him and the tall intern and the jeep now idling by the finish line. "But she's still in last place during the final run..."

The camera quick-panned back to left, showing a blindfolded Brick running through the minefield. Mines started going off around him, but he didn't so much as flinch; then the shot panned to the left some more to show Dawn, also blindfolded, running and taking sharp turns without setting off any mines; and finally to a blindfolded Katie charging through with her mouth set in a determined scowl– just before she got caught in an explosion that sent her flying.

The camera followed her as she flew through the air with a scream, and she landed beyond the finish line in a heap, Chris laughing and wiping a tear from his eye. "Katie takes first place and gets three points!" he announced as Brick crossed the finish line just before Dawn. "Brick comes in second for two and Dawn takes last place and gets a point for effort."

"Hah, take that," a thoroughly singed Katie remarked woozily as she wobbled about.

"The _next_ challenge," Chris said, the camera following him as he walked past Brick and Dawn, the latter of which was giving Katie a dirty look, "comes straight from the mysterious mind of Dawn."

"Perfect," Dawn smiled.

Katie snorted. "Please. I can take whatever you cooked up to throw at me."

"We'll see about that," Dawn said, a close-up showing her glare at Katie's direction.

\

The scene flashed ahead to show the Final Three wearing helmets and standing behind a white chalk line that had been drawn from a tall-looking tree to a tree stump with a green triangular flag sticking out of it. "There's," Chris said standing in front of the line and pointing at it, "the starting line. "And _there's_ ," he gestured to the right, and the camera panned to the right to show another chalk line between a tree and a stump; the flag being red at this one, "the finish line. You just have to race from one to the other. With _out_ touching the ground."

The camera cut to the Final Three, Brick and Dawn looking confident and calm respectively, while Katie scowled and crossed her arms.

"And how are we supposed to do that?" she asked.

"Simple," Chris said with a smile. "You have to climb from tree to tree," he explained as the shot panned across five tall trees with thin looking branches. "Touch the ground _before_ you cross the finish line," he added as the shot cut to him, "and you have to start all over. The good news is I didn't add any extra danger this round."

"That _is_ good news," Brick smiled.

"Because I didn't need too," Chris finished as he walked past the campers. "Seriously, I _gave_ you guys safety equipment. _That_ should tell you how dangerous this challenge is."

He received three glares.

XXX

"It was a simple choice," Dawn explained. "I needed a challenge that I'd be good at, Katie would be bad at, and Chris would decide not to add any changes to."

XXX

"Focus cadet," Brick told himself. "It's just like the obstacle course, but in the air."

XXX

"Of _course_ the nature weirdo would pick a tree hopping challenge," Katie complained. "But it doesn't matter. All I need to do is make at least second and I'm guaranteed in the finale."

She paused. "I think. Math's not really my strong suit."

XXX

"Ready!" Chris called out as the shot returned to the challenge. The Final Three got into a crouching position. "Set!" Chris pulled out an air horn. " _GO_!" He blew his airhorn and a tense challenge theme began to play.

\

The scene flashed ahead to Brick and Dawn easily climbing up the first tree. Brick took and early lead and jumped to the second tree, followed by Dawn shortly after.

"Impressive maneuvers from both Brick and Dawn," Chris said as the shot briefly cut to him.

The focus returned to the challenge as Brick and Dawn quickly jumped from the second tree to the third with no issue then cut to Katie still climbing up the first tree, a yellow bird sitting on a branch near her. "Uh Katie?" the host called out. "The finish line isn't so much _up_ as _across_."

"I know what I'm doing!" Katie called back down.

XXX

"If I climb all the way to the top, then if I don't make a jump I have more room to grab a branch before I hit the ground," Katie explained.

XXX

"Uh oh," Brick said, the shot cutting to him on the third tree and looking at the impressive gap to the fourth. "Looks too far to jump."

The sound of leaves rustling caught his attention, and the shot cut to Dawn on a higher branch of the same tree. "You sound worried," she told him.

"Of course not," the cadet waved her off. "This gap is nothing for a cadet like me." He gulped and jumped to the next tree, just barely missing the branch he was aiming for. He fell out of frame with a scream, but there was a rustling rather than the expected thud. The camera panned down to show he had grabbed a lower branch. "See?!" he called back, only for his attention to be caught by some curious ooking.

With a light tune, he and the camera turned to see a monkey smiling at him. "Well hello there little guy," Brick said brightly. The monkey ooked again, and the music turned dangerous as it pulled out a chainsaw.

Brick gulped.

XXX

"The cadets never prepared me for dealing with chainsaw-wielding monkeys!" Brick complained.

XXX

"Please don't do that!" Brick yelled as the shot returned to the monkey now attempting to saw off the branch Brick was holding on to.

The scene cut to Chris on the forest floor, the sounds of the chainsaw, and brick's panicked screaming still audible. "Will Brick survive his encounter with Monkey McSawpants?" he asked the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "Or will we be having _two_ all-girl finales in a row? Find out, after the break, on Total! Drama! Paaaaahkitew Island!"

Brick's panicked screams filled the air even after the shot jumped back to the island in its entirety.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode returned to Brick closing his eyes in preparation for the fall and the monkey still sawing away at te branch he was hanging on to. "This is gonna-" he said before the monkey completely sawed through the branch and he fell out of frame.

The monkey watched with a devious grin at the sound of the cadet hitting a number of branches on his way to the ground. The shot cut to the forest floor, where the branch that Brick had been holding on to had fallen, then panned up the show the cadet hanging from a low-lying branch by his hand. "That was a close call," he sighed in relief.

"Brick?" Dawn's voice filled the air. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine ma'am!" the cadet called back proudly. "Just enjoying my insurmountable lead! that little trickster just sawed off the only branch that could anyone could-" as he spoke both he and the camera looked up to where Dawn was, only to see that she was nol longer there. "Dawn? Where'd you go?"

"Over here," the moonchild answered, and the camera cut to a branch on the other side of the tree Brick was hanging on to. He screamed, and let go of the branch in his surprise. "Uh-oh," he said just before he fell to the ground, the monkey on its back from laughter.

"Looks like Brick has to restart the challenge," Chris announced from off-screen. "Which really has to suck."

"Good luck," Dawn called out as the cadet trudged back to the starting line.

"Has anyone seen Katie?" Chris asked once Brick started climbing the first tree again.

The camera panned all the way up the first tree to show that Katie had climbed to the top. "Okay," she breathed to herself. "Just jump, and reach for the first thing you can."

She took a deep breath and did a grand j'ete out of the first tree. However, she didn't put enough effort in her jump and began to fall to the ground. Luckily for her, she was able to grab a lower branch before hitting the ground.

XXX

"See," Katie bragged. "My plan _is_ working."

XXX

The scene moved to Chris back at the starting line. "Another botched jump like that," he narrated, "and Brick might not be the only one who has to start over."

"Hoo ah!" the cadet cheered as the shot cut to him, smirking as he jumped to another tree.

"I'm _not_ losing this," Katie declared with narrow eyes, making a much less graceful but much more effect jump into the third tree.

"And _Dawn_ wins the second challenge!" Chris announced as the shot briefly cut to the moonchild on the other side of the finish line. "But it's not over yet! Second place is still up for grabs!"

The camera cut to a full view of the the course to show both Brick and Katie in the third tree, each making jumps to the fourth with no trouble. Brick was shown in close up as he jumped to the fifth and final tree, windmilling his arms wildly but staying airborne nonetheless. The shot the cut to another branch, Katie landing on it from another grand j'ete. Unfortunately, the branch began to tremble and snapped before she had a chance to get to safety.

The shot cut to the finish line where Brick and Katie both landed on the ground at the same time; Katie just in front of the line on her face and Brick landing on his feet just behind it. "And second place goes to Brick!" Chris announced, causing the cadet to puff his chest out proudly.

"How's this for a dramatic conclusion?" he said, "it seems Dawn and Katie have both won _and_ lost a challenge." The girls looked at one another. "And Brick's come in second twice," Chris said with a look towards the cadet. "That's 4 points each. We got a three-way tie!" he announced excitedly. "It all comes down to one final challenge: _Katie's_ ,"

"Finally," Katie smirked, "there's no _way_ you can beat me," she told her opponents, her eyes focused on Dawn.

Brick walked past her and gave her a friendly smile, but Katie kept her gaze on Dawn who quickly scowled and walked by as well, ignoring her rival. The camera lingered on the moonchild, though, and zoomed in as her expression became anxious.

XXX

"I'm worried," Dawn confessed. "I have no clue what Katie might have come up with. But if it's physical, I'm doomed."

XXX

"I don't mind coming in second twice," Brick explained. "It sets a good precedent. As long as it doesn't follw me to the finale."

XXX

"Those two are going down," Katie said simply.

XXX

A upbeat gameshow-like tune played as the static cut away to a stage set up in the woods, flanked by maroon curtains. Affixed to the headboard were three circular sign ringed with lights, a smaller and darker circle inside it set above what looked like a counter that currently read 00. on the stage were the Final Three behind wooden podiums with a single red button on the top; Brick on the left, Dawn in the middle, and Katie on the right; and another wooden podium near the stage-left exit.

"Live from Pahkitew Island," Chef's voice announced in a revelatory fashion. "Iiiiiit's Total! Drama! _Trivia_! Now here's the host of Total Drama, Chrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiis McLeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan!"

The camera cut to the left of the stage, where Chris was walking out in his baby blue tuxedo. An unseen audience cheered wildly as the host walked up to the empty podium and grabbed a handful of index cards.

"And now for the third and final challenge of the day," the host said to the Final Three. "A trivia challenge about all of Total Drama's former competitors."

Katie's eyes widened. "Uh," she said warily. "I said a _Sadie_ trivia challenge," she protested.

"Yeah, but I can't go on that long talking about a single person unless it's me," Chris explained. "So I made some changes. Now here's the deal; I'll ask a question about anyone who's been on the show before as a contestant. If you think you know who I'm talking about," the camera cut to the Final Three, "buzz in. Get it right and you get a point. Get it _wrong_ , and get a shock," the campers rolled their eyes in annoyance as the host laughed. "If one person gets it wrong, then someone else can buzz in and _steal_ getting either a point of a shock. But if they get it wrong, we'll move on to the next question."

"When I've gone through all the questions, or I get bored, I'll stop the game. And since it's tied score, whoever has the lowest score gets to show us their cannonball impression," the host finished explaining. "Now are there any questions?"

"What's the point?" Katie asked. "You're not gonna answer them anyway."

"See," Chris smiled. "You _are_ learning. First question! Who is the star quarterback of their team and the _only_ person in their family with any athletic ability?"

Brick quickly buzzed in. "Brick?" the host asked.

"Lightning," the cadet answered, getting a shock a second later.

"Nope!" Chris announced. "You girls wanna steal?"

Katie buzzed in. "Geoff!"

"Correct!" Chris said, the camera cutting to the signs above the contestants to show Katie's counter changing to 01.

XXX

"Maybe I won't lose this one after all," Katie mused. "I mean, Me and Sadie would watch Total Drama every Sunday night. Then it moved to Fridays, then Thursdays, and then Saturdays. And I think it's on Thursday's again now?"

XXX

"Next question," Chris announced. "Who was the _only_ ambidextrous member of the Killer Bass?"

The campers just stood there as another game show tune played. At it's conclusion, the Final Three were all shocked.

"Did I mention that if no one answers the question within a minute, you _all_ get shocked?" Chris asked impishly.

"No," Katie replied. "You didn't."

"Oops," the host shrugged uncaringly. "Anyway, the answer was Duncan. Question number three! Who was Total Drama's first _openly_ gay contestant?"

Katie immediately buzzed in, shouting "Matthew!" only to get shocked.

"Wrong!" Chris told her. "Matthew was the first to come out on the show, but not the first who was already out."

It was Dawn who buzzed in next. "Then the answer is Angel, right?"

She was shocked.

"Wrong," Chris said. "Angel was openly _bi_ , not openly gay. The _correct_ answer, was Bridgette. We're three questions in and so far, only Katie has a point. Maybe Dawn and Brick can get on the board with this next question. Who has a severe allergy to wildflowers?"

Dawn buzzed in. "Dave."

"Correct!" the host said, a ding accompanying her counter changing to 01. "Next an easy one. Who was the only person to be the _lowest ranking_ female member of her team but _still_ make the merge?"

Katie buzzed in. "Sugar." Her counter dinged and updated her score to 02.

"Doesn't look like Brick really wants to be in the finale," Chris said, glancing at the score. "Anyway, Who was the only unanimous vote in Total Drama history?"

Brick buzzed in instantly. "Leshawna!"

"Correct!"

XXX

"I admit, Leshawna wasn't a favorite of mine," Brick confessed. "But voting herself off after her actions in the second season really redeemed her in my eyes."

XXX

"One more question," Chris announced, "then we'll take a short break. I gotta pee. Now, who earned a robotics scholarship at the age -"

Dawn buzzed in. "B," she said.

"-of ten," Chris finished tersely. "Correct," he said, her counter updating to the new score. "How about you let me finish next time. Anyway, ten minute break everyone. Oh! And edit this part out. I don't want the audience think I'm weak or anything."

He left the stage and the camera cut to Dawn and Katie. "I hope you're ready to lose," Katie mocked.

"We're tied right now," Dawn said. "It's still anyone's game."

"Yeah, but _I_ know the show better than anyone here," Katie bragged. "You may have an edge with people from _this_ season, but I've been a fan since day one."

Dawn scowled at her, but said nothing else.

XXX

"I have to beat her," the moonchild said. "She no longer deserves the money."

XXX

The scene returned to Chris back at his podium. "Okay!" he said cheerfully. "Let's get back to the game. And try to get some wrong answers okay? The shocks are good for ratings. Next question! Who scared away the first date they ever had by showing up at their house at seven in the morning?"

Dawn buzzed in. "Britney."

"Correct!" Chris said, Dawn's counter changing to 03 with a ding. "Dawn is now in the lead!"

\

The game show tune began to play again over a montage of questions and answers.

"Who got trampled in a human stampede chasing after NTUNE?"

"Malcolm!" Brick announced, getting shocked.

"Matthew," Katie buzzed in. "He's scared of boy bands remember?"

\

Katie's score updated to 03.

"Who was banned from their local mall for trying to start a flash mob?"

"Ella," Brick buzzed in, his score changing to 02.

\

"Who's is deathly afraid... of _worms_?"

All three campers got shocked.

\

"Farted on the first and only date they ever had?"

No one answered. Everyone got shocked.

\

"Sews their own clothes?"

"Zoey!" Katie chimed in excitedly. "I squealed so hard when I learned that because I do the same."

\

The scene cut to the counters; Brick's changing to 03 then 04, Dawn's changing to 05, Katie's changing to 06 then 07.

\

All three campers got shocked again.

\

"Izzy!" Dawn answered, getting a ding.

"Shawn," Brick answered correctly.

"Mike?" Katie asked before her eyes widened. "No wai-" she was shocked before she could finish.

"Anyone wanna steal?" Chris asked.

"Victor," Brick answered.

"Correct!"

\

"Next question," Chris said, the montage having ended. "Who is afraid of the sight of their own blood?"

No one answered in time, and everyone got shocked.

Chris laughed to the point of wiping a tear. "Oh that never get's old. Anyway, who was eliminated by the smallest number of votes?"

Dawn buzzed in. "Lily?"

"Correct!" Chris announced. "The score is now tied at seven all," he said, the scene briefly cutting to the counters. "Next question. Who's middle name, is Corduroy?

Brick buzzed in. "Cameron."

"Correct!" Chris said. "Now, I'm starting to get bored so this next question is a sudden death round between Dawn and Katie." The two girls glared at each other.

XXX

"Oh," Dawn pleaded. "I hope it's about someone whose aura I was able to read."

XXX

"This is _my_ challenge," Katie said, " _my_ question, and _my_ season. There's no way I'm losing this to some creepy weirdo."

XXX

"There were _two_ people who voted for themselves the same episode they were voted off this season," Chris told the girls. "Britney was one. _Who_ was the other one?"

Katie buzzed in before Dawn could. "Dave!" The camera cut to Dawn sagging in defeat, then to Chris smirking, then back to Katie...

... who got shocked.

Dawn and Brick looked over at the villainess in surprise, and Dawn's eyes widened.

"It was Sadie!" she cried.

" _Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrect_!" announced the host, a triumphant tune playing as her counter dinged and changed from 07 to 08.

"No, Dave voted for himself!" Katie protested.

"That he did," Chris said. "But the question was who voted for themselves the episode they were _voted off_. Which Sadie did. Dave quit, so _technically_ he wasn't voted off."

"No," Katie declared. "Me and Sadie voted for each other, we couldn't decide who's fault it was we lost."

"Are you absolutely _sure_ about that?" Chris asked impishly, Chef rolling a TV cart on stage next to him. "Because we can roll through confessional footage to see." He pressed a button an a remote, and the TV screen cut to static.

XXX

The feed on the TV took over the screen, showing Sadie in the outhouse the night of her elimination. "It looks like either Kate or me are going home tonight," the larger of the two friends confessed. "And we agreed before the competition that if this happened, we'd vote for ourselves and hope for the best." She gave the camera a small, sad, smile.

XXX

The scene returned to a close-up of Katie's stunned face. "I... forgot," she said softly. "That... that was a promise we made. And I forgot it. We even pinkie swore."

"If it makes you feel any better," Chris said, "I like the new Katie better. She's cutthroat, and only cares about winning. My kinda competitor." He shrugged. "Too bad you're eliminated."

"Yes," Dawn said coldly. "You've lied to your friends, backstabbed your allies, and been the sole cause of multiple eliminations." The shot briefly cut to Katie, who still stood there with her mouth agape and tears in her eyes. "You're no better than Justin."

At that. Katie sank to her knees and covered her face with her hands, sobbing uncontrollably the whole time.

\

The screen rotated around itself as the footage skipped ahead to nightfall, Katie now stuffed into the barrel of the Cannon of Shame and still sobbing. "Sadie must hate me now!" she cried, squirming against the walls of the cannon as the sombre elimination theme began to play. "I broke our promise! I turned into the contestants we always hated!"

"Hey, at least you made it further than I thought you would," Chris told her, the shot cutting out to show him standing with Dawn, Brick, and Chef at the base of the cannon. It cannon went off and Katie was shot screaming and sobbing into the night. The viewpoint shifted behind Chris as he watched her go.

"Next stop," Chris turned and told the camera as the capstone theme began to play, "the super-big-awesome and deadly finale! Who's about to become one million dollars richer?" he asked, the camera zooming in as he stuck his arms out to either side. "Will it be Brick?" he pulled the cadet in from the left. "Or will it be Dawn?" He pulled the moonchild in from the right, and both finalists gave the camera awkward looks. "Find out next time," Chris pushed the teens back out of sight and raised his arms, "on the season finale of! Total! Drama! Paaaaaaaahkitew Island!"

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** And that's the semifinals. It shocked me just how many people were rooting for Katie, but this was never really mean to be her season. I planned Dawn v Brick from the start and we're finally there.

Katie's elimination was just one that made sense, and I don't think it needs explanation. She was the villain, and villains only make the finale if the showdown is dramatic. And while having Katie there would have been great, the real drama of the episode is toward the end and Geoff or Sadie - who would've been her helpers - needed to resolve things at the start. That would've made the final stretch pointless. Don't think she'll get away without a reason you suck speech though. This season's finale will have a peanut gallery after all.

I will say, however, that honestly...this chapter's not the best in my opinion. It lacks the same kind of 'flare' that the canon episode did, as there's really no way to replicate Sugar getting hoisted by her own petard in this series as Katie's not so delusional about her own abilities that she makes a challenge she sucks at.

The challenges themselves were...well, they were pretty straightforward to create since everyone went with what they know best. The exact nature of the challenges was done to facilitate the 'everyone has 4 points' tie that canon had; since Katie had to lose two challenges it was the only way to make things suspenseful. Thus, her challenge got expanded but she still had enough knowledge to keep things somewhat in her favor.

Anyway, it's probably best she didn't make the finale. She did after all just realize how much of a bitch she'd been this season and thinks she lost the friendship of the person she cares most about.

So yeah, this definitely has a different feel that the canon episode has, and I don't know how to feel about it. But I don't doubt that all you reviewers will let me know your own thoughts, and I look forward to hearing them.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin

 **7th Place:** Courtney

 **6th Place:** Geoff

 **5th Place:** Izzy

 **4th Place:** B

 **3rd Place:** Katie


	13. Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize

**Author's Note:** Here we are, at the last episode of season six. It's been a fun ride, but now it's time to see who'll win the million.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

 _ **Guest1138:**_ Minor mistake, Katie's the one who was eliminated just then. Sadie got the boot back in episode three. Though I'm a bit surprised to hear you were expecting her to make the finale. Honestly, I love writing finales where people are okay with whoever wins. So I'm glad you like both characters.

 _ **Derick Lindsey:**_ Katie's elimination was meant to be ironic. And Katie and Sadie made the deal about voting for themselves before the season, as shown in Sadie's confessional. I guess you could say Katie got screwed over by Chris. I'm glad you liked the trivia challenge, I was the most worried about that. No one's going to be chewing Katie out right now. I decided against it. Sorry to say it, but I'm glad you think finding someone to root for is tough. I'm glad you like Chef's chat with Katie. He was talking about Chris, but the funny thing is I've been trying to add subtle hints that the old Chris is still in there somewhere. He's still apathetic to the players safety most of the time, but he has his minor moments of worry.

 _ **Jubilee Jigsaw:**_ The premier of Random Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race is up next, followed by the premier of Random Drama Danger Island. I'm alternating.

 _ **Guest #1:**_ I'm glad you liked it, but man. How odd is it that Katie wound up on the list of best villain defeats. I think Dawn and Brick are everyone's favorite Revenge of the Island contestants. Now now, the All-Stars finale was bad, but at least we got some humor out of Aleheather. This finale was nothing but total derailment of characters for no reason whatsoever.

 _ **Gucci Mane LaFlare:**_ Heh. It almost seems like the finale is an afterthought for you.

 _ **StarHeart Specials:**_ Thanks! I don't know why the last chapter didn't flow right to me, but I'm glad it's in my head. I can definitely say her actions this season will be a part of her character in future appearances. Isn't it always great when you're okay with either finalist winning? I'm glad you liked the trivia questions, and the fourth wall leaning. Also, I'd love another top ten moments. The last one was so much fun to read.

 _ **Phenomenal Ultra Instinct:**_ I'm so confused why everyone thought Katie was making the finale. I've only seen one fic where Dawn makes the finals, and I can't even remember the name of it. Katie's elimination in my mind is definite Alas, Poor Villain territory. Will she get out of her funk before All-Stars 2? Who knows? True, I don't think anyone's as bad as Chris. Except maybe Matthew.

 _ **lordkalel:**_ Thanks! I think I may have the most radically different Katie in competition fics.

 _ **That British Guy:**_ Interesting predictions... But only one way to find out.

 _ **Guest #2:**_ To paraphrase Legends of Tomorrow. 'She's gay, not blind.'

 _ **Tempokeep:**_ Yeah, I don't make a habit of villains making the finale. The deck does seem rather stacked against Dawn doesn't it? I don't see Dawn or B returning for RR. Sorry. I'll be alternating posting chapters of the two stories. Starting with the Race.

 _ **Knight:**_ I'd say they both deserve the money equally. Which is why this was such a hard decision.

And in case you've forgotten, the finale is _**Dawn**_ vs. _**Brick**_.

It's time for Chris to get lazy, and decide the Final Two...

* * *

 **Episode 13: Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize**

"Previously, on Total Drama," Chris opened alongside the capstone theme and the usual long-distance shot of the island. "Brick, Katie, and Dawn created their own challenges!" the host explained, the recap montage beginning with the Final Three starting their run through the obstacle course, followed by a shot of the curtain opening on the trivia contest stage.

"Brick gave us a military-themed obstacle course," Chris said over a shot of Brick crawling under the barbed and/or electrified wires with relative ease. "Which gave Dawn a bit of a snag," the moonchild was shown getting her sweater stuck on some barbed wire, "and _blew_ Katie away," the host finished with a laugh as the girl was thrown across the finish line in an explosion.

"Dawn's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey," Chris continued, the montage flashing ahead to Dawn and Brick racing through the trees, then Brick holding on to a branch that a monkey was sawing at. "Unsurpisingly, Dawn won the challenge," the moonchild was shown at the finish line, "and poor Katie fell from grace," the girl was shown falling after her first jump, " _and_ the trees," he second fall was shown.

"So, it all came down to Katie's challenge: a trivia challenge about the former competitors," Chris said over a shot of the Final Three on the stage. "Brick didn't have too good a start," he said over a clip the scores early on in the challenge, "but quickly earned himself a spot in the finale," after a clip of him answering, the shot cut to his score being 08 and the others at 07.

"It all came down to a final question," Chris was shown at his podium with his notecards, "a Sadie-themed one that Katie ironically got wrong." Katie got shocked, Dawn's counter changed to 08, and Katie fell to her knees. "Bye-bye!" Chris said with an audible smile over one final clip of Katie getting shot into the night by the Cannon of Shame.

The montage ended with a flash, showing a close-up of Chris in front of a bare rock wall. "Down to two from three," he said, holding up three fingers but lowering one of them, "cause now we're Katie-free. But," he lowered another finger, "it'll still be neat to see who gets beat," he punched his open palm. "So! Grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line," the shot cut to a robotic arm lifting up the open suitcase full of prize money against a radiant orange-and-gold background. "Iiiiiit's _finale_ time!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him, spreading his arms then leaning back and pointing both at the camera.

"On Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

 **XXXXX**

[Though the sequence remained short, it opened much the same as it had in previous seasons – a shift into letterbox format for a shot of a rocky forest waterfall, a stagelight rotating up from behind some rocks and turning on. Then a shiny spotlight swings down from the unseen branches of some mossy, mushroom-ridden tree. The shot moves to a pond where a brown bear wearing a scuba mask sits in the water glaring at a frog on a lily pad, both animals looking surprised as the lily pad is suddenly lifted into the air by a security camera rising up from below it. A seagull perched on a rock on the beach is flattened by a panel in the rock slamming down on it, another camera emerging from within, and a pair of white-skinned hands clap a film slate in front of the main camera.

As the film slate is pulled away the scene transitions to a rocky stream, and the camera flies forward to see Anne Maria, spraying her hair in front of a coughing and annoyed Chris. He shoves her out of the way just as the camera passes and the lyrics start.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quickly flies through the pine trees, landing on Katie and Sadie eagerly picking berries from a bush and eating them. They look to the right to see Justin smiling with his hands on his hips, and the girls squeal in delight. Then they run over and hug him to Justin's shock and discomfort, and the camera quick-pans away.

It lands on Dawn and Courtney standing on top of a cliff. Dawn says something with a calm and serious expression, prompting Courtney to angrily turn around and cross her arms. Suddenly, Izzy runs past the two girls and jumps off the cliff and they gasp in shock. Izzy raises her arms and falls with a cackle.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera quick-pans downward to show Izzy falling past Britney and Brick, the two scaling the side of the cliff. They look back over their shoulders to watch the girl fall with blank and confused looks.

Another quick-pan takes the camera to Dave sitting on a rock, his fingers in his ears and an irritated look on his face. To the left is Jaxon, a book in one hand and his other arm outstretched dramatically as he spoke. And on the right is Geoff, pumping his fist excitedly.

The camera moves to the left to show B and Cameron standing next to a large robot that looked like it was made out of old appliances and electronics. B presses a button on a remote with a smirk, that turns in to a look of shock when the robot grabs Cameron by the hoodie and tosses him off-screen.

The lyrics end there, and the camera suddenly flies forward through the shrubs behind B to emerge at the roaring campfire. The usual whistling finishes begins as Britney and Dave are shown sitting together by the fire. Britney looks giddy as Dave leans forward expectantly, only for Courtney to suddenly step forward with an angry glare and make Dave stop and sag in disappointment.

Britney frowns and sags as well, and then to the camera as it pulls back to reveal the full cast – Cameron, B, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, and Dawn on the left next to Courtney and Britney with Chris standing nearby; Justin, Izzy, Brick, Anne Maria, and Jaxon next to Dave, with Chef standing behind them.

The misshapen signpost on the gateway to the elimination area read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island' in big block letter over three lines.]

 **XXXXX**

A deep note played as the episode opened on the treefort, the sky dark and the crickets chirping. A deep sigh issued forth from it, and the camera soon cut inside to show Dawn tossing and turning in her bed. She got up and grabbed a pillow from the bed above her and closed her eyes with a smile, only to open them and sigh again.

XXX

"It's no use," Dawn sighed in the confessional. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm too nervous about tomorrow. Hopefully Brick is having the same trouble I am..."

XXX

The static cut away to show Dawn turning her back to the camera with another sigh, then the shot panned to the left through the dividing wall to show Brick sleeping peacefully and snoring rather loudly.

XXX

"One of the key abilities for a cadet is being able to get rest in high stress situations," Brick explained. "And I can't think of anything more stressful than a million dollar competition."

He paused. "Well, aside form war."

XXX

An angelic sound played as the shot returned to a close-up of Dawn, her eyes blinking blearily to sleep as the light of dawn streamed in through a window high on the wall above her.

Just as she and the music seemed to reach a peaceful rest, the wail of an airhorn pierced the walls and forced Dawn back into wakefulness, her eyes snapping open wide and bloodshot. "Dawn and Brick," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, the screen splitting in two with a shot of the cadet blearily waking up sliding in on the left. "Meeting area, _now_!"

\

The scene flashed to Dawn and Brick standing before Chris in the open meeting area. "Yes! Today, I fire one of you from a cannon," he greeted excitedly. "And then start my vacation."

"Plus you'll hand one of us a million dollars," Brick added with a grin.

"I haven't forgotten, dude," Chris said in annoyance, "I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?"

"What's the challenge?" Dawn asked. "Is it physical or have you decided on something else?"

Brick snorted. "Total Drama finales are _always_ physical," he said. "And while you have been a formidable opponent, I'm afraid I just outclass you in that area."

"Don't get overconfident," Dawn warned. "I can think of more than one occasion where the less athletic finalist won the money."

"If I may continue?" Chris interrupted, his annoyed expression soon dropping. "Your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted _each_ of you get a helper. Ehh," he shrugged, "it's not a horrible idea. I mean," the shot cut to the finalists as they watched him, "maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies!" Dawn and Brick shared a brief but wary look. "So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?" Chris asked, stepping over to them.

XXX

"I'd prefer B," Dawn told the outhouse camera. "He's smart and athletic, and we work well together. But I wouldn't be too upset over having Britney as a helper."

XXX

"It's no surprise that I'd prefer Courtney over anyone else," Brick confessed. "She's smart, athletic, driven...and objectively speaking, the most physically attractive girl this season." He paused, then hung his head in shame. "Hopefully she never finds out about me voting for her..."

XXX

"I choose B," Dawn said with a calm smile as the static cut away and a triumphant tune played...for a few brief moments.

Chris chuckled. "' _Choose_ '?" he repeated, laughing again. "Nooo, no no no no no no no...," he told the finalists with a wag of his finger.

"But you just asked us-," Brick pointed out in confusion.

"I know," Chris conceded, "I asked you who you wanted, I did that to be mean." He laughed again as the sound of squeaky wheels approached. "Your helpers-" the camera pulled back to show Chef pushing a large widescreen monitor up to the host on a cart- "will be selected _thusly_!" He motioned to the TV. "When you press this button," he held up a remote control with a single red button on it, "the possible helpers will flash across the screen." A game show jingle played as the shot cut to the monitor, now showing the portraits of the eliminated contestants rolling down across the screen as if on a reel. "Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper."

The reel stopped on an image of Katie with quivering lips and tears in her eyes, causing Dawn and Brick – now holding remotes - to wince. "What happens if we land on someone whose help we don't want?" Dawn asked.

"You each get one chance to pass and spin again," Chris answered with a wide grin as the sound of a helicopter grew louder. "And just to make things even more interesting," he added, growing more and more giddy with each moment, "I've brought _all_ the helpers out to watch!"

"THIS IS HIGHLY ILLOGICAL!" shouted a familiar voice.

Dawn and Brick gasped as the music spiked, and the shot cut to the same dual-rotor military helicopter that Chris and Chef had taken shelter in during the island's malfunctioning as it flew in overhead.

Then the camera panned downward to show the twelve eliminated campers dangling under it tied up in ropes – Katie on the far left, then Sadie, Anne Maria, Geoff, B, Courtney, Justin, Britney, Dave, Cameron, Jaxon, and finally Izzy on the far right.

"What's the big idea, Chris?!" Izzy shouted, the shot cutting in close to her and Cameron. "Huh?!"

"Yes," Jaxon chimed in, "he was under the impression that she," he nodded his head toward the wildcard, "was in police custody."

"I think we might have bigger issues right now..." Cameron said, the camera panning onto him.

"Oh, what difference does it make?" Dave replied in a dreamy tone, the camera pulling back to show him and Britney gazing at each other. "The world's just to _beautiful_ to care about a little pain."

"I'm just glad I'm next to the hottest guy on the island," Britney said in a dreamy tone of her own.

"You're welcome," Justin remarked as the camera panned past a blushing Britney and onto him. "By the way, Chris, these ropes might cause some bruising. Can we get them loosened a bit?"

Courtney shook her head, then gave Justin an incredulous look. "You _do_ realize that if the ropes are loosened, you'll _fall_?"

"Hey, I can't control my modelling contracts," Justin told her. "They're very strict," he added with a knowing nod.

"If the contracts are so strict," Courtney asked in exasperation, "then why would you sign up for a _reality_ competition?!" Justin opened his mouth, but she cut him off. "Don't answer that." She looked downward. "Brick! You'd better win this!"

The shot cut to Brick, blushing furiously.

The camera cut back to B. It lingered on him for a few moments as he awkwardly looked from side to side, then directly at the camera. He cut his eyes to his hat-less head, and smiled.

The camera panned onto Geoff. "I just wanna say that I'm fine with both of you dudes winning," he said with a happy smile, "so don't force me to take sides." He gave a short but satisfied nod. "Also, I actually don't mind being tied up like this!"

Another pan to the left showed Anne Maria watching him. "Ehh, I can't blame ya," she said, shrugging. "This is only like the third worst seat I've had for a show myself."

"Really?" Geoff asked, raising a eyebrow in disbelief. "Are the shows in Jersey really that terrible to watch?"

"They are if ya don't have tickets!" Anne Maria answered happily.

Yet another pan put the focus on Katie and Sadie. "Ohmygosh, Sadie, I'm _so_ sorry for how I acted this season!" Katie told her friend.

"I know..." Sadie replied in slight irritation.

"I was just so lost after you were sent home," Katie explained.

"So you've told me," Sadie said.

"And I just got so caught up on winning that I-" Katie started before Sadie cut he off.

"SHUT UP!" Sadie finally yelled, causing Katie to start sniffling. "We'll talk about it once we get home." Sadie added after sighing.

"Okay," Chris said, the music turning slow and plodding as the camera cut back to him, Dawn and Brick. "Now that the Peanut Gallery has had a chance to reintroduce themselves, let's move on."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a minute," Brick held up a hand to interrupt – before motioning with both to the side and flatly asking "Why? How? When?"

"Uh, you're gonna have to be a little more specific there," Chris told him, raising an eyebrow.

"He means why are they all tied up?" Dawn translated.

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long, irritated sigh. "Fine," he said. "I'm keeping them tied up and in plain sight so we don't repeat the fiasco from last season's finale, okay? Last thing I need is _another_ psycho with a grudge against me. All clear?"

"Yes," Dawn said bluntly.

"Not really," Brick replied.

"Whatever," Chris told them, his brow creased in annoyance. His expression then changed into a smile. "Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss," he explained, taking out a coin and flipping it towards the campers.

It hit Brick in the eye. He yelped in pain, rubbing where he'd been hit.

"Brick wins!" Chris happily announced. "Let's see who you get," he said, motioning back to the monitor as the game show jingled played again.

The shot cut to a close-up of the monitor as the portraits began to scroll past, Brick uttering a series of grunts as she watched off-screen – some hopeful, some annoyed. "Okay, stop," he said after a few seconds, the camera moving to him as he pressed the button on his remote.

The simulated reel stopped on Courtney. "Good, just who I was hoping for," Brick said confidently as a triumphant jingle played. "There's no one I'd rather face uncertain doom with."

"Thanks Brick," Courtney said, the shot cutting to show her blushing. "That was oddly touching."

"Dawn," Chris said, the camera moving back to the finalists as the moonchild pursed her lips, "you're up."

The game show jingle played, and the portraits started flashing across the monitor again – until they stopped on Justin. "No..." Dawn groaned.

XXX

"I knew the odds of getting B were slim," Dawn confessed. "But I at least wanted a helper who would actually... _help_."

XXX

An odd note played as the shot cut back to Brick, Dawn, and Chris, the latter two sharing a look. "I'd like to spin again," Dawn said.

"Have at it," Chris replied, the shot briefly cutting to the pictures flashing across the monitor again.

Dawn pressed the button, and sagged in defeat – and the camera cut to the monitor to show that it had landed on Justin again. The camera moved in front of Chris as he gave her a mischievous look. "Justin _again_?" he asked in fake shock. "What are the odds?"

The camera pulled back as Chris turned to the right and nodded at Chef, who returned the gesture and walked away. "Okay, looks like Brick gets Courtney and Dawn gets Justin," Chris said, nodding toward the helicopter. The ropes tied around the two chosen helpers abruptly came lose causing both to fall, but while Justin landed in an awkward flop Courtney simply tucked her legs in and rolled as a light but triumphant tune played.

She got back onto her feet just as Brick jogged up to her, and the two hugged. "I missed you! I'm so glad I get to help you win this," Courtney said.

"Me too," Brick replied. "I couldn't have asked for a better partner."

XXX

"I'm not in the game any more," Courtney explained. "So I have no problems going after Brick now. Besides, if I can't _be_ a millionaire, I can at least be the _girlfriend_ of a millionaire."

She widened her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna go out with him even if he loses. But with _me_ and him against Dawn and Justin that's probably not gonna happen," she finished with a smug grin.

XXX

The camera panned to the right as Justin gasped and stood up. My face," he said, the shot cutting in close as he pulled out a mirror and looked in it "Did I get any scratches? Bruises?" He gasped. "Cuts?!"

Dawn groaned in annoyance and palmed her face.

XXX

Chris laughed. "Best. Idea. EV-ER!"

XXX

"Eh- _hem_ ," Chris interrupted, the static cutting away to show him walking towards the two pairs. "Reunion's over? Good! It's time for your final challenge. I have endearingly titled it, 'The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death'!" A dramatic spike in the music, reverberated voice, and zoomed-in and angled shot all combined to make the revealing of the title particularly dramatic.

"That sounds dangerous...," Justin said worryingly.

Chris sighed. "'The Double Duo of _Dangerous_ Deadly Dying Death'!" he reiterated, the same effect playing as before.

"It's dangerous," Justin conceded, causing Dawn to groan again.

XXX

"I'm confused as to how he was able to trick people for so long," Dawn confessed.

XXX

"Now since Matthew snuck back onto the island and changed it completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room..." Chris began to explain.

"Umm, hold on," came the voice of Dave, the camera panning back up to the still-loitering helicopter. "What did you just say?" he asked in confusion.

"Wait you guys didn't know about that?" Izzy asked. "It's like the only reason I was able to get away from the RCMP!"

"RCMP?!" Dave asked incredulously. "Can someone _please_ explain what happened after I quit?"

"No," Chris replied in a deadpan tone. "As I was saying," he continued, putting his bland smile back on as the background music became deep and tense, "we've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre new dangers the island's new landscape has to offer. Until now. Brick and Dawn," the shot cut back to the two pairs, "with assistance from your helpers-" Courtney and Brick shared a smile while Dawn sagged and Justin sent her a smile- "you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will receive," Chris turned to the side and grabbed the prized suitcase from Chef, the music building up grandly as he opened it to reveal it's glowing contents, "One! Millions! Dol-lars!"

All four teens started cheering.

"All you have to do is survive a 2000-foot plummet from an ice cliff," Chris joyously explained, the camera cutting to the slender peak of a snowy mountain before quick-panning away, "successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud," the camera panned across a bubbling lake of mud before quick-panning away again, "and then sprint two miles across a wide-open field where," the shot now panned across a seemingly ordinary and empty field, "I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you."

The shot cut back to the cast as Chris began to laugh raucously for an extended period of time, Chef joining in a second later. "The point I'm making," Chris said once they'd finally finished, "is that there's a _decent_ chance you may not survive this."

Both finalists and helpers groaned warily. Then they were each tossed an orange helmet.

"For the first part of the challenge," Chris explained, "the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains." The shot cut to him and Chef. "I mean who knows. Someday, you may start using them." The roar of the nearby helicopter suddenly increased, the added wind whipping up a cloud of dust around the men. "When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled," Chris instructed, "or, it'll be a very rough ride down!"

The show's smaller red helicopter was shown flying over, the larger military one flying away with the rest of the former campers still attached. "Grab a rope!" Chris said, the camera panning down the four ropes hanging from the helicopter to show them dangling just above the finalists and helpers. "Your challenge begins...NOW!"

The four grabbed the ropes in front of them, and to a sudden bit of challenge music and a blast of the host's airhorn, the helicopter flew off dragging the startled teens along with it.

"Good luck! Stay safe!" Chris called out after them. "Are things I'd say, if I cared!"

\

The footage flashed ahead to the top of the snowy peak, several boxes and barrels of various junk – including what looked like several sets of skis – already waiting at the top. The small helicopter arrived momentarily, and the shot cut to its four passengers landing in the show – Brick and Courtney on the left, Dawn and Justin on the right.

"We're supposed to build a bobsled out of _this_ junk?" Courtney asked in disbelief.

"No ma'am," Brick corrected as he grabbed a pair of skis, "Chris just said it would be a good idea." He tossed the skis onto the ground and stepped on them, a tense challenge tune playing in the background. "I happen to have a different one, so hop on."

The shot cut to a close-up of Courtney smiling, then to her jumping onto the skis behind Brick. "Woo hoo! Let's do this!" she cheered as they began to slide forward down the slope.

"Yeah!" Brick chimed as just before they left the scene.

The camera panned onto Dawn, holding a pair of skis of her own. "We have to move now!"

"Not without a bobsled." Justin told her. "I'm not risking losing my contracts."

"I'm skiing down this mountain with or without you," Dawn told him irritably. "And we both know Chris won't rescue you," She tossed the skis on the ground and pointed at them. "So get on and steer. _NOW_!"

"Okay okay," Justin said in a panic, running over to the skis and jumping on. The challenge music rose up again as Dawn wrapped her arms around his back, and they started to slide.

The shot cut to Brick and Courtney looking back over their shoulders with grins on their faces. "Awesome," Courtney said, "with this lead there's no way they'll catch up to us!"

They promptly skied through a tall mogul, slowing them down a little and covering Brick's eyes in snow. "I can't see!" he shouted, clawing at the packed snow as they began to swerve.

"Quick, to the left!" Courtney shouted, one hand around Brick's waist and one point ahead of them as they swerved away from the camera around another mound of snow. "Now right!" Courtney directed, the two swerving back towards the foreground. "Left!" She shouted, but they just sped through another mogul earning a scream from Courtney.

XXX

"That could have gone b-b-b-b-b-b-better," Brick confessed, blue from the cold and shivering heavily.

XXX

"Hahahaha!" Justin laughed as the scene cut back to the him and Dawn. "Look at them, it's hilarious!"

"They're slowing down," Dawn pointed out as they began to swerve around the moguls as well. "We may have a chance if we go around the moguls."

Justin grinned. "Leave it to me," he said as he continued to lean with Dawn as they dodged the moguls.

XXX

"That doesn't fill me with confidence," Dawn said.

XXX

The music ramped up dangerously as the static cut away, showing the model and moonchild sliding towards another mogul. "Left!" Dawn shouted.

"No, right!" Justin replied, the two leaning to opposite direction, swerving nowhere, and plowing right through the mound. "Aagh!"

"Justin!" Dawn growled as they started swerving wildly, snow covering both their eyes. They clipped the side of another mogul, sending themselves into a screaming spin, hit a third mogul, and came out tumbling end over end.

The shot cut to the bottom of the slope, the music leveling off as what looked like a mogul on skis slid down. The camera zoomed in as two patches of snow fell away to reveal Brick and Courtney inside, the two moaning and blue in the face. "Brick, we need move," Courtney weakly told her partner, "before-"

A massive snowball suddenly ran them over, breaking the snow but leaving the couple lying in a puddle of melting snow. A crash was heard off-screen, but the camera lingered in place as Brick and Courtney groaned and stood up. "Let's go," Courtney told her partner. "You're still in this..."

"...yeah," Brick said as he caught her breath. "Yeah!" he said, more energetically this time, standing up and raising her arms. "I've got this!" he declared before charging forward, the shot cutting to Courtney as she smirked softly then raced after her partner.

The camera followed them along for a few seconds until they reached a heap of snow, skis, and dazed-looking teens, which the shot immediately focused on. "What happened?" Dawn shot at hers partner, the moonchild lying upside-down half-trapped in the snow. "I told you to go left!"

"And I told you to go right!" Justin countered, his head sticking out the right way up but his legs sticking out over it.

"Yes, but I'm the one in charge!" Dawn replied. "You're supposed to be helping me!"

"I was steering!" Justin said before the snow holding him up crumbled away, causing him to fall over with a startled gasp.

Dawn sighed in aggravation before a small pile of melting snow collapsed onto her face.

\

The scene cut away to show Chris and Chef sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn as they watched the challenge feed, the host promptly pausing it with a beep and looking at the camera. "This finale's out of control!" he said excitedly as the capstone theme began to play. "Brick and Courtney got run over! Dawn raised her voice! And _Justin's_ completely useless!"

"Stay tuned, "he continued, the shot moving away but the host quickly popping back up in front of it. "Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed on a shot of Brick and Courtney, their skin tones back to normal, running up to a smiling Chris. "Welcome back," he told the camera as the background music rolled into a low and slow expository tune. "Brick and helper Courtney are the first to arrive, here," he turned and motioned to the right, "at the world's largest mud puddle!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the trio was standing near the edge of a large lake of burbling mud, a measuring stick rising out of it at the nearest edge.

"It's eight feet deep," Chris explained over a close-up of the measuring stick showing the mud reaching up very nearly to the 8' mark, "and 200 yards across. And," the camera quick-panned to the far right side of the 'puddle', "since it's too thick to swim through," the shot cut back to the couple and Chris, "the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other."

"Umm...," Brick said hesitantly, sharing a wary look with Brick, "doesn't that mean the person on the bottom..."

"Will drown?" Chris finished. "Yes."

"What?!" Courtney said in wide-eyed shock.

"Unless they use this garden hose!" Chris added, a light chime playing as he held up a length of green hose.

Brick let out a breath. "Okay then. Guess I'm on the bottom, then."

Courtney's eyes widened a bit in a brief bit of surprise, and she looked at her partner. "No no, I'm supposed to be the one helping you, I should be the one doing the hard stuff."

Brick nervously grabbed at his collar. "I really think this is better."

XXX

"Courtney's really smart," Brick told the confessional. "And not to sound sexist, but I'm just stronger than she is."

XXX

"I know you're stronger than me," Courtney said, "not by much but still. I'm here to _help_ you and I feel bad that I haven't been doing that."

"I think helping me breathe is a pretty big help," Brick replied, pointing a thumb back at Chris and his section of hose. "I know that you like being more active in challenges, but somebody has to be on top and it makes sense for it to be me. After all, _I'm_ the finalist here."

Chris suddenly stepped between the couple. "Yeah he is," the host said impishly. "Because you got the boot. I wonder how that happened? _Brick_?" he asked with a sly gaze at the cadet.

"Who knows?" Brick replied nervously. He pushed Chris out of frame and grabbed Courtney's hands. "My point is, you being here and supporting me. That's all the help I need."

A touching tune started to play as the camera cut from a close-up of Courtney's face, a surprisingly soft look in her eyes, to Brick smiling in return.

XXX

"Okay," Courtney said with a sigh and a clap of her hands. "That whole thing with Chris was a little weird, but Brick makes me feel thing I never really thought were possible. He _trusts_ me, and no one has _ever_ done that. Or given me reason to trust them..."

She ducked her head and looked up shyly. "I think I'm in love with him..."

XXX

Brick groaned and palmed his face. "Courtney's gonna kill me if she finds out I voted for her.

XXX

A low, trumpeting challenge theme began to play as the scene cut to Brick and Courtney jumping into the mud, the former disappearing below its depths while the latter, on his shoulders, held up the length of hose. They started moving forward, and the camera panned back to the left to show Dawn, Justin, and Chris holding up another length of hose.

"Yeah, I'll be on bottom," Justin stated.

"Really?" Dawn countered, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Mud's really good for the skin," Justin explained. "I don't really _get_ it. But-" he paused. "This _is_ actual mud this time right?" he asked Chris. "Because the last time we were under an outhouse and the mud was actually-"

Dawn took the hose from Chris and shoved it into Justin's chest. "Hurry up."

"Fine," Justin sighed, crouching down so Dawn could jump onto his shoulders. He stood back up and put the end of the hose in his mouth, and jumped into the mud.

The tense music faded away as the camera moved onto Chris, the host sighing as Chef walked up. "You think the mud was a bad idea?" Chris asked. "It's a little quiet..."

"Ya could just bring the Peanut Gallery back to watch," Chef suggested.

"Oh yeah," Chris said as if in sudden realization, "almost forgot about them. Bring 'em back in!" he said into a walkie talkie he only then pulled out.

Moments later the wind kicked up around them, and the camera zoomed out to show the large helicopter flying in with the former contestants still hanging – and screaming as they swayed ominously – below it. "For pete's sake, would you let us down already?!" Anne Maria shouted angrily. "It's freezin' up here!"

"Yeah, I wanna cheer for Dawn!" Cameron chimed in.

A snort of contempt drew the camera's focus to Jaxon. "He hopes you realize she's _hopelessly_ outmatched. It's a metaphor for the futility of the working class man to get a fair deal..."

"For crying out loud," Dave growled, drawing the camera back to him and Britney. "Will you _please_ SHUT UP?! This isn't English class! Not everything is a metaphor!"

"Life imitates art," Jaxon huffed. "And vice versa. Do not blame him because he is in tune with that fact."

"Maybe you could brighten up a little?" Britney suggested calmly.

"The phrase is 'lighten up," Jaxon said. "But he'd expect nothing more from a satellite love interest."

"Hey," Dave shot as Britney gasped, "don't talk to her like that!"

"This is _still_ a free country," Jaxon said, "for the time being. You cannot dictate his method of speech and he is well within his rights to act rudely to those who try. He is an artist. And art cannot be censored."

"You ain't an artist, you're just annoyin'!" Anne Maria shouted at him, the camera zooming out. "Heck, if I wasn't tied up right now I'd have half a mind to pound ya!"

Jaxon gasped dramatically. "No artist is beloved in his lifetime..."

The camera panned to the right onto Geoff. "Yo, Chris?" he looked forward and asked loudly. "Can we come down now? Things are getting way too heavy up here."

"No, and I don't care," Chris answered with a calm smile.

"Actually, we probably should," Chef told him. "Helicopter can't keep flyin' forever, and we gotta save enough fuel for the ride home!"

A flat note played over a close-up of Chris staring blankly at him. "Huh...good point," he admitted, rubbing his chin in thought. "Ooh!" he said with a suddenly grin and snap of his fingers. "I just had an idea!"

\

A flash took the scene to Brick and Courtney, the tense challenge music resuming at a low volume and slow pace in the background. They were still slogging through the mud, Brick out of sight but Courtney only submerged up to her stomach. She looked back over her shoulder, smiled, then said "Keep going, you're doing great!" into the piece of hose she was holding. "They're way far behind!"

XXX

"So as it turns out," Brick said calmly. "Being submerged in the mud is kinda like being trapped in the d-d-d-d-dark!"

XXX

The music ramped up as Courtney suddenly stopped moving, then seemed to turn around and start moving back towards the start. "Uh, Brick?" she asked into the hose. "We're going the wrong way!"

The camera cut to Dawn, looking somewhat bored as she held the hose atop Justin's shoulders, before noticing the other team and frowning. "Why are they coming this way?"

"Brick stop!" Courtney cried. "We were in the lead!"

"Ugh! They're too _nice_ to sabotage each other!" came the sudden voice of Chris McLean, the camera cutting to him standing in the show's jeep with Chef at the wheel, speaking into the microphone of the jeep's loudspeaker. "Deploy the 2.0 model!"

The shot cut back to Courtney and Dawn as they looked around with strange expressions, the sound of something like a rocket taking off coming from somewhere in the distance. They looked up and to the left, and the camera shifted to their viewpoint to show a large object shooting up through the sky overhead...

...then abruptly diving towards them, revealing itself as a red-eyed robotic bear with small jet engines coming out of its back. Dawn and Courtney screamed as their respective partners continued in their previous directions, getting out of the way as the Bear landed in the mud. It hit with enough force to cause a wave of mud, which shot all the way across the puddle carrying the finalists and their helpers along for the ride. All four immediately began to cough upon landing in a muddy heap.

XXX

"At least I have a better shot," Dawn said. "We're tied."

XXX

"The sudden loss of the lead is worrisome," Brick confessed. "Who knows what other tricks Chris has up his sleeves."

XXX

A close-up of the nozzle of a fire hose in Chef's hands preceded him blasting the muddy finalists and helpers with water, all four screaming where they'd landed on the shore of the 'puddle'. Moments later the water was shut off, leaving them drenched but clean.

"We're all tied up," Chris announced with a smile, "perfect time for a little break. First, let's bring in the Peanut Gallery again." He took out his remote and pointed it at a patch of ground nearby, a hole opening up in it and a rather shoddy-looking set of stadium seats shooting up out of it with the ten former contestants seated – and still tied-up – in it.

"Finally," Izzy said, the shot cutting to her sitting in the bottom row. "Are we gonna get to watch the rest of the challenge now?"

"Yup!" Chris answered with a happy smile, pressing the button on his remote again so that a large widescreen television emerged from another hole in the ground near him and the finalists.

"Will you untie us, too?" Cameron chimed in.

Chris huffed. "Whine, whine, whine," he said in annoyance. "Don't I do enough for you kids as it is?"

"No," thirteen of the season's cast members replied at the same time.

A flat note played over a close-up of the host pursing his lips, then glancing to the side at Chef. "Told ya they'd still be mad."

"Yeah, I owe you twenty bucks," Chris said, the camera zooming back out again to show the finalists and helpers. "Everyone, grab a seat," he instructed, and the four reluctantly sat down on the logs lying behind them. "I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show..." He pointed his remote at the TV, and the shot focused in as it switched on and started to play footage of a confessional...

XXX

"Katie told me everything," Brick confessed. "Courtney knocked me out and left me there so she'd win. I'd probably be going home if it wasn't for Katie dragging me out of the way."

XXX

"This is insane," Brick confessed in a panic, "I'm freaking out a little bit! I _really_ wish I hadn't voted off Courtney," he admitted pitifully before turning serious again, "but I have to focus! I'm large and in charge, and Courtney only threw me off my game."

XXX

"Now that I've time to think," Brick told the outhouse. "I'm glad Courtney's not here anymore."

XXX

"Courtney's really smart," Brick told the confessional. "And not to sound sexist, but I'm just stronger than she is."

XXX

The footage paused, and Chris leaned out in front of the television with a wide and mischievous grin. "So _that's_ how Courtney got eliminated..." he said impishly.

"It was you..." Courtney said as the camera moved to her and Brick, her eyes wide with shock. "Does this mean that...," she turned and asked Brick with an uncertain but hurt expression, " _you_ were the fourth vote against me that night?!"

"Wait, Courtney, I can explain," Brick frantically replied. "Every one of those clips were edited, they don't show how awful I felt about it! And Katie lied to me!"

"But you believed her!" Courtney said, growing angrier and more accusatory. "I can't believe this! All this time I thought you trusted me. That you _liked_ me!"

"I do-" Brick tried to say.

"I don't wanna hear it," Courtney cut him off, putting a hand in Brick's face. "You were the _one_ person who looked past my mistakes and saw who I really am. But even you thought I was a monster..."

A derisive snort drew the camera's attention to Geoff, sitting in the back row of the Peanut Gallery with the rest of the boys. "You lied to Brick? Not cool Katie..." he said bitterly. The former villainess, hung her head in shame.

"I'm just worried what Chris is gonna show from Dawn," Britney said nervously, the camera panning down. "It looks like he wants to mess up both of the finalists..."

"Maybe he won't show anything?" Izzy suggested. "I mean, it's not like Dawn and Justin were that close to begin with."

The shot cut back to a smiling Chris. "Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of leaving Dawn out of all this fun," he said happily.

"I don't see how," Dawn said. "I've never said anything bad about Justin in a confessional... before today that is."

"Wait," Justin said seriously. "What'd you say about me?"

Chris laughed. "No worries, dude, I think you'll find _this_ particularly interesting. Seems you guys forgot that the cameras are _always_ on. So here's a little convo Dawn took part in the day you were eliminated."

XXX

The screen on the TV went from Static to the girls' side of the Salmon bunker. Izzy and Dawn were looking at the entrance before the wildcard looked at Dawn. "So Katie doesn't really like Justin all that much."

"I can see that," the moonchild said warily. "But it shouldn't be a problem if we lose right?"

"Wrong," Izzy told her bluntly. "He's got some kinda superpower. He starts talking to you and suddenly you're agreeing to whatever it is he wants. Just because he's hot!"

Dawn giggled into her hand. "Then we definitely won't have a problem," she said mirthfully.

"Why's that?" Izzy asked.

"Because I don't find Justin attractive," Dawn answered with a smile.

XXX

A deep, dramatic note was struck over a shot of Justin shrugging. "Hey, I get it," he said calmly. "Not every girl in the world has to think I'm hot. You're like that surfer girl back in season four right?"

Dawn's face was utterly unamused. "I am not a lesbian if that's what you're asking."

"You have to be," Justin said with a hint of panic. "You don't think I'm hot."

"You just said not every girl has to find you attractive!" Dawn yelled in exasperation.

"Yeah, and those girls like other girls," Justin defended. "I mean to not think I'm hot is ridiculous. Look at me!"

An ominous riff played as the camera panned away from them and onto Courtney and Brick. "Courtney, please, I'd give up the money right now if it meant we'd get to be together! You have to believe me!" Brick pleaded.

" _You_ didn't believe _me_ ," Courtney shot back. "Why should _I_ believe _you_?!" Her lips began to quiver, and the music suddenly turned sad as she burred her face in her hands and started crying.

"Okay," Chris said happily as the shot moved onto him, "I'm sensing some major hostility and I'm liking it. I'm out of popcorn, though, so we should probably get back to the challenge."

" _Seriously_?!" the finalists and helpers alike exclaimed.

"Obviously, the helpers aren't gonna be very helpful anymore," Chris replied. "So, instead of _helpers_ , Courtney and Justin will now be _hinderers_." As he spoke Chef walked back into view with a pair of video game controllers, tossing one each to Courtney and Justin. "The island is now back online," Chris continued, "and, with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to throw you down, or, completely _crush_ you."

The shot cut to Justin as he looked at his controller and grinned.

"Looking forward to it," Courtney said venomously.

Dawn and Brick gulped, and Chris laughed. " _That_ was the good part," he said. "Let me tell you the _bad_ part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge," he told Brick and Dawn. "If neither of you do, Justin and Courtney get to split the money."

"What?" Dawn said in shock.

"That's not fair!" Brick protested.

Chris laughed. "Yeah, well, neither is life. And since Dawn's the one that insulted Justin's looks and Brick's the one who betrayed Courtney-"

"Hey!" Brick barked in outrage. "That was-"

Chris raised a hand to silence him. "You only have yourselves to blame for creating your own hinderers." Dawn and Brick groaned, and Chris resumed laughing.

"GO!" Chris announced, blowing his airhorn right in Chef's face earning an annoyed sigh from the man. Brick and Dawn immediately ran off, but the camera cut to a close-up of a thoughtful Courtney.

"I'm _really_ mad at Brick," Courtney said to herself, a finger on her lower lip. "But...won't I just be proving him right if I stop him from winning the money?"

"Do what you want," Justin said, the camera panning over to show him grinning darkly with his controller in hand. "We've already got our villain labels. Might as well use 'em."

XXX

"I don't wanna be a villain," Courtney protested. "People like Matthew and Heather are villains. Then again..." she added thoughtfully. "If I give up a chance to win some of the money over a _guy_ my parents will never let me hear the end of it."

XXX

A few quick drum taps opened up a deep and dangerous challenge theme, the scene returning to Dawn and Brick sprinting across the open field only to gape in shock as the pine trees in the background starting launching like rockets.

"What the heck?" Brick said. "Rocket trees?"

One landed right behind them, forcing both finalists to roll forward out of the way. "This island is an abomination!" Dawn cried as the two continued running, more and more trees landing behind them like massive spears.

The two were shown together in a brief close-up, raising their eyebrows in surprise. A quick-pan ahead revealed the landscape changing, trees and rock formations rising up out of the artificial ground to form a large, dense barrier.

XXX

"This almost makes up for being voted off," Justin confessed with a smirk.

XXX

"Okay, I may not want Brick to win," Courtney confessed. "But I don't want him to get hurt either."

She darted her eyes to the side and added "Well, not _too_ badly at least."

XXX

The dangerous music resumed in full as Dawn jumped ahead of Brick as they climbed over the first big rock formation.

Brick vaulted downward and dashing forward along a lower 'path' among the rocks. Just as he was about to jump down onto grass, however, a boulder shot upward – and he landed on it groin-first. A close-up showed him letting out a high-pitched squeal of pain.

Dawn's wince drew the camera's attention back upward to show her leaping from a boulder and grabbing onto the branch of a tree, only for the tree to suddenly shoot back down into the ground – causing her to yell as it dragged her down and slammed her back-first onto a fallen log.

Brick gave her a quick concerned glance as he jumped onto the same log, then upwards onto a rock formation before climbing onward and to the right and out of sight.

\

The scene cut back to the hinderers, both still working their controllers with Justin still looking considerably happier about it. "No need to change what works," Courtney said uncertainly.

"C'mon, where's that cutthroat attitude I saw back before the merge?" Justin scolded. "Brick hurt you remember? And lower some of those trees, they're giving them too much cover from this storm I'm whipping up."

The camera panned onto the monitor to show Dawn and Brick struggling against a powerful wind as they walked through what looked like a dense forest as leaves, dust, branches, and various small woodland animals blew past them.

\

A focus on the monitor's screen transitioned the scene back to the challenge. "I think...I can see the finish line in the distance," Dawn said, pausing for a moment as she struggled against the intense gale.

"They're not making this easy on us," Brick commented.

The pair briefly passed behind a thick and mossy pine tree, the camera zooming in slightly as they reappeared. "Would you?"

"...I guess not," Brick answered after a moment.

\

The shot cut back to the Peanut Gallery to show them watching with worry and anticipation. "C'mon, Brick," Izzy said softly, "you can do it...just hang in there."

A pan to the left showed Britney closing her eyes. "I know you can win this, Dawn," the globetrotter said, "you deserve it after everything."

Then the camera cut back to the hinderers, Chris standing next to their monitor with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. "Ooh! They're getting _close_!" he said excitedly, prompting Justin to scowl and Courtney to frown uncomfortably.

\

Once more the scene moved back to the finalists, their arms raised to buffer themselves against the winds – snow beginning to fall and lightning beginning to crack in the background - with Dawn in the lead. "Two minutes left!" Chris called out over the island's loudspeaker. "Two minutes!"

"I...," Dawn said with glee. "I think I can make it!"

"Not if I can help it!" Brick shouted, speeding up as the dense trees around him and Dawn began to recede into the ground – and the tense and dangerous challenge music resumed. "If I win then maybe Courtney and I still have a shot!"

"You're really deadest on making it up to her?" Dawn asked him seriously.

"Yes!" Brick declared, the camera cutting to show Courtney paying more attention to the screen than her controller. "It may have taken me a while to realize it, but I care about her. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm not giving up on her!" The prep looked down at her controller with a guilty expression.

"I can't believe I was so _stupid_ that I let my anger take me over," Courtney groaned. "I thought I was better than that!"

"Turns out you weren't," Justin mocked, still looking at his controller.

"No one asked you!" Courtney shot at him angrily. "Yeah, Brick's not perfect, but that doesn't mean he's a bad person! Cause you know what, I'm not perfect either!" Courtney told him. "I make kneejerk reactions to things and I forget that _other_ people have feelings too!"

"You think _those_ are your flaws?" Chris asked incredulously, now leaning against the monitor. "Cause I think-"

"I don't care what you think, McLean!" Courtney yelled at him. "Because I don't have to be perfect, and I never would've realized that without Brick! Who knows what sort of sociopathic monster I would've been this season without him."

"One that would've made further in the game," Chris pointed out. "What's your point anyway?"

"My _point_ is I'm not gonna hinder them anymore," Courtney said defiantly, looking back at her controller. "I'm done playing your sick twisted game!"

Justin's brow shot up in surprise, and the shot cut back to Brick and Dawn still struggling through the snowbank. To their shock the storm suddenly and abruptly let up and they began to sprint forward excitedly, only for lightning to strike the ground in front of them. Hail started to fall moments later, pelting both finalists and causing them to grunt and yelp in pain as they tried to move onward in another strong wind...that promptly stopped, causing them to lose balance and fall over.

The shot cut back to Justin furiously inputting commands into his controller. "Hah!" Justin laughed as the scene moved to the monitor to show the finalists struggling to run forward through a field of constantly-moving scenery only for sudden strong gusts of wind and poorly-placed objects to send them tumbling back to the left. "This is even better than before! I'm guaranteed the million now! But I need to make double sure that half the hinderers won't hinder _me_. I think..."

"No you don't!" Courtney said defiantly furiously inputting commands in her controller again. "This is _their_ challenge and _their_ prize."

"Uh guys," Chris said warily. "Ya might wanna-"

The shot cut back to the monitor to show Dawn and Brick still struggling against constantly-shifting weather and terrain, now including falling trees "Hey! These controllers aren't doing anything!" Justin cried in frustration.

"Yeah," came the annoyed voice of Chris, drawing the attention of the helpers and camera. "I was _trying_ to tell you not put in so many commands. But you overloaded the system and it needs time to work 'em all out. Sure was a lucky 'accident' you happened to create despite Courtney allegedly not wanting to win anymore."

"I didn't plan this and you know it," Courtney told him angrily.

Chris shrugged. "Considering what's on the line, and your past performance, I'm having trouble believing you. But hey," he laughed, "even if you aren't lying, it's kinda ironic that despite not wanting to you might just win anyway."

\

The camera moved back in on the monitor, the challenge footage once more taking over the scene as the snowy ground below Dawn and Brick's feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once the ground shot up under them earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.

"Ah no..." Brick muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.

The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as was Courtney. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.

The shot cut back to Dawn as she sighed in resignation. "I guess it's over..." she said as she sat down on the plateau.

Brick's eye twitched, and with a primal growl of rage he punched the ground at his feet. Their eyes widened as the mountain begin to crumble under them, and he let out a meek 'uh-oh,' as the ground imploded in on itself.

" _BRICK_!" Courtney yelled in shock and concern as the shot briefly cut to her.

"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.

Courtney stood up in shock, and Justin started cheering.

"Is Brick okay?" Courtney asked worriedly.

"Operation Incredibly Handsome Millionaire was a success!" Justin cried, pumping his fist in victory.

"Congratulations Justin and Courtney," Chris said with his usual smile, ignoring them as a victorious theme began to play. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.

A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line, and saluted. Justin's jaw dropped in shock, then Courtney ran off to the right.

The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. Courtney ran onscreen and pushed him out of the way. Chef flew off frame with a shout, and Courtney grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Brick from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Oh," he groaned, looking around as Courtney dropped him on the stretcher, "what happened?" he asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.

"You won!" Courtney answered with huge smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Brick looking back at the finish banner.

"I did it!" Brick said excitedly. "Ahh-haha, yeah-heah!" he raised his arms and cheered, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery save cheering, with Izzy the loudest by far.

The focus returned to Brick and Courtney. "Courtney I'm really sorry I-"

He was cut off by Courtney grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You made a mistake. I did too. But nobody's perfect," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Brick looking dopey.

\

The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Brick and Courtney sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with her leaning into him, the suitcase full of money in his lap; Dawn and Justin standing on either side of Chris, the latter scowling; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.

"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"

He accidentally hit Justin while raising his arms, and the model screamed and pinwheeled his arms for a moment or two before finally falling out of the helicopter

The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring out the doorway in shock. "Uh-oh," he said, "Maybe we should go back and get him?"

The ex-campers burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away...

\

The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Justin landing in the giant mud puddle. He quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled himself out onto dry land.

A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Justin's attention. He looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over him, eyes red. "Heheh," the model laughed nervously, "c'mon, you're not gonna hurt me are you?"

The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Justin's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.

(Roll the credits)

\

\

(AS YOU CAN SEE, THAT ENDING WAS BRICK'S)

(BUT HERE'S THE _REAL_ ENDING TO SEASON SIX)

\

\

The camera moved back in on the monitor, the challenge footage once more taking over the scene as the snowy ground below Dawn and Brick's feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once the ground shot up under them earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.

"Ah no..." Brick muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.

The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as was Courtney. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.

The shot cut back to Dawn as she sighed in resignation. "I guess it's over..." she said as she sat down on the plateau.

Brick's eye twitched, and with a primal growl of rage he punched the ground at his feet. Their eyes widened as the mountain begin to crumble under them, and he let out a meek 'uh-oh,' as the ground imploded in on itself.

" _BRICK_!" Courtney yelled in shock and concern as the shot briefly cut to her.

"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.

Courtney stood up in shock, and Justin started cheering.

"Is Brick okay?" Courtney asked worriedly.

"Operation Incredibly Handsome Millionaire was a success!" Justin cried, pumping his fist in victory.

"Congratulations Justin and Courtney," Chris said with his usual smile, ignoring them as a victorious theme began to play. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.

A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line, and started waving. Justin's jaw dropped in shock, then Courtney ran off to the right.

The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. He grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Dawn from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Wha...," she muttered, looking around as Chef dropped her on the stretcher. "Wait, really? _I_ won?" she asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.

"Uhh-huh," Chef answered with a nod and a small smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Dawn looking back at the finish banner.

A close-up showed her gaping in shock, and a smile quickly replacing it. "I won. I won! I WON!" she repeated over and over, growing more excited each time. "YEAH!" she raised her arms and roared in triumph, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery cheering, with Britney the loudest by far.

The camera promptly panned to the left to show Courtney frantically pulling a dazed and half-conscious Brick from the rest of the avalanche, and picking him up onto her back. "It's okay, I'm here for you," she said with desperation in her voice.

"Courtney," Brick said weakly, "I'm sorry that I-"

"Quiet," Courtney said with a weak smile as she carried her crush over to the stretcher and set him down next to Dawn. "You need to rest."

"But-" the cadet tried to say.

He was cut off by Courtney grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You made a mistake. I did too. But nobody's perfect," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Brick looking dopey.

\

The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Brick and Courtney sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with her leaning into him; Dawn and Justin standing on either side of Chris, the latter scowling the former grinning while holding the suitcase full of money to her chest; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.

"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"

He accidentally hit Justin while raising his arms, and the model screamed and pinwheeled his arms for a moment or two before finally falling out of the helicopter

The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring out the doorway in shock. "Uh-oh," he said, "Maybe we should go back and get him?"

The ex-campers burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away...

\

The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Justin landing in the giant mud puddle. He quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled himself out onto dry land.

A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Justin's attention. He looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over him, eyes red. "Heheh," the model laughed nervously, "c'mon, you're not gonna hurt me are you?"

The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Justin's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.

(Roll the Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note Post Script:** Wow. Here we are. I've got a bunch of stuff I wanna try to talk about right now...I think I'll start with the finale, then move on to some stuff about the season.

So. As I'm sure most of you have realized by now, I'm considering Dawn to be the canon winner of Random Drama Pahkitew Island. Why? Well, partly because I really really like her, but also partly because she's now the third girl to officially win in this series, giving us an even split between girls and boys in that regard. But even then Dawn's a clear favorite of mine and just an awesome character. And honestly, I had such a hard time deciding who would win that I tried flipping a coin, before realizing I'd be way more disappointed by Dawn losing than Brick. So I indulged my favoritism. And I'm really sorry to all the people who wanted Brick to win..

I'm also looking forward to seeing all your reactions to the big surprise - that of Justin being used as a helper in place of B. Sometimes the obvious choice is the one to make, and sometimes it's one to subvert, and in this instance it was definitely the latter. For while B being Dawn's helper could certainly make things interesting, it would make creating drama via Chris far more difficult for me. After all, I hadn't exactly set up Dawn for any sort of perceived betrayal; it was hard enough as it is to do that with Brick.

Thus, I decided to bring back arrogant hot guy Justin to act as Dawn's helper, both to squeeze a little bit more use from him, and also to make an interesting dynamic with Dawn. And since I love giving vague hints. There is a line in this chapter that will set up a major plot point in a future season.

Oh! Almost forgot about the Peanut Gallery. Well, it was something I always hated about the canon finale, and it would make things easier for me...I figured, why not? It was admittedly a tad difficult to keep making use of them, but in the end I think it all worked out pretty well.

So, expanding the scope a bit, let's talk about why I wanted an Brick-Dawn finale in the first place. Basically, these two are the most shafted from canon season four as well as the two most popular. Brick I wanted because he was the obvious finale choice from day one.

And as for Dawn's role in this...well, after seeing that the only potential antagonists I had weren't really the type to keep themselves hidden, I knew she could go far. Then I remembered the fake animals and that gave her some plot, B being in the season gave her a close friend though it absolutely could've been Britney if he weren't here. And suddenly what was a quirky foreshadower in canon became an intelligent young woman who wants the best for all those around her but no idea how to do that. It made for an interesting character.

I will say there was a bit of time where I planned on Britney being a finalist, but she's not really the kind of person who would betray a friend or love interest, even accidentally.

Let's see...I've talked about the finalists, so I guess the pairings are next. To be honest, going into the season I was WAY more enthusiastic about Dawn and B's friendship more than any of the couples, but because their dynamic mirrors that of me and my best friend. She's the more talkative one who always seems to just get me even if I don't say that much and I'm the quiet guy who knows how to cheer her up when she needs it. Brickney came about from a fan theory I read that Courtney was originally a neutral character but Duncan's influence turned her evil. I didn't buy it, but it was interesting to see what happened if her love interest was a decent guy and didn't mind showing it. And I really like it. I feel like I got the full range of Courtney's canon attitude's during their romance arc and gave you guys a complex and likable person. Brave as I said before was a what if scenario, and honestly what I feel like Skave could have been if they'd talked to each other instead of their friends (both of which were in some pretty rocky romantic waters. Which was like going to a vegan for advice on how to cook a steak.). And lastly, Geoff/Katie. Sadly, I was unable to make their relationship work this season. But it is going to happen in the future. Now that I don't have Katie's villain plot in the way, I'm sure I can work the two of them together.

Hmm...what other seasonal things can I talk about...oh! Right! Yeah, so, Justin. So, as much as I like Justin, I just don't see him giving a Heel-Face Turn like Courtney did and Katie's still emotionally distraught from her heel realization. And I do like giving my villains comeuppance. Thus the his final fate where Chris accidentally pushes him out of the helicopter, stranding him on the island and immediately put into danger. Though, of course, he should be considered to be alive. Probably in the hospital, but alive.

My god, this is the longest non special chapter I've written yet.

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

* * *

 **RDPI ELIMINATION TABLE:**

 **14th Place:** Anne Maria

 **13th Place:** Jaxon

 **12th Place:** Sadie

 **11th Place:** Cameron

 **10th Place:** Dave

 **9th Place:** Britney

 **8th Place:** Justin

 **7th Place:** Courtney

 **6th Place:** Geoff

 **5th Place:** Izzy

 **4th Place:** B

 **3rd Place:** Katie

 **2nd Place:** Brick (ALTERNATE WINNER)

 **1st Place:** Dawn (ALTERNATE RUNNER-UP)


End file.
